REDNECK DICTIONARY

<body topmargin=0 leftmargin=0 marginheight=0 marginwidth=0> <table cellpadding=0 cellspacing=0 border=0><tr> <td valign="top" colspan=2 height=100 BGCOLOR="#111111" TEXT="#F7F7FF" bgproperties="fixed" background="1c444323.gif"> <div> <FONT SIZE="5" COLOR="#FF9900" FACE="Arial" ><B>Bill's Funnies  </B></FONT> <B> </B><B>|   </B><FONT SIZE="1" COLOR="#FF9900" FACE="Arial" ><B> </B><B> </B><A HREF="index.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Bills Funnies "><U><B>home</B></U></A></FONT></div> <div> <A HREF="redneck_jokes1b.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Redneck Jokes"><U>Redneck Jokes</U></A>   |   <A HREF="redneck_jokes_pg__2.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Redneck Jokes Pg. 2"><U>Redneck Jokes Pg. 2</U></A>   |   <A HREF="redneck_jokes_pg_3.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Redneck Jokes Pg.3"><U>Redneck Jokes Pg.3</U></A>   |   <A HREF="you_might_be_a_yankee_if.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE=" YOU MIGHT BE A YANKEE IF...."><U> YOU MIGHT BE A YANKEE IF....</U></A>   |   <A HREF="redneck_valentine.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Redneck Valentine"><U>Redneck Valentine</U></A>   |   <A HREF="tips_for_yankees.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Tips for Yankees"><U>Tips for Yankees</U></A>   |   <A HREF="redneck_test.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Redneck Test"><U>Redneck Test</U></A>   |   <A HREF="redneck_midi_songs.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Redneck Midi Songs"><U>Redneck Midi Songs</U></A>   |   REDNECK DICTIONARY   |   <A HREF="_breviated_medicul_dickshunnary.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Breviated Medicul Dickshunnary!"><U>'Breviated Medicul Dickshunnary!</U></A>   |   <A HREF="redneck_photo_show.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Redneck Photo Show"><U>Redneck Photo Show</U></A></div> <div> </div> </td> </tr><tr> <td valign="top" width=190 BGCOLOR="#CCFFFF" TEXT="#080000" background="3e569693.jpg"> <div> For there is not a word in my tongue, but, lo, O Lord, thou knowest it altogether. Psalm 139:4</div> <div> <IMG SRC="40397c40.gif" border=0 width="151" height="196" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></div> <div>  <embed src="HTMLobj-1030/cripple_creek.mid" autostart="true" loop="true" hidden="true">  </div> </td> <td valign="top" height=380 BGCOLOR="#CCFFFF" TEXT="#080000" background="3e6cdcd3.jpg"> <div> REDNECK DICTIONARY</div> <div> <IMG SRC="3d356780.gif" border=0 width="86" height="120" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">                               <IMG SRC="3d778580.gif" border=0 width="120" height="88" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">                          <IMG SRC="3d545780.gif" border=0 width="69" height="120" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">  </div> <div> <I>This is the OFFICIAL UNABRIDGED REDNECK DICTIONARY for your personal reference while visiting this site. Feel free to refer to it as it becomes necessary during your visit.</I></div> <div>           <IMG SRC="3e8d2090.gif" border=0 width="466" height="9" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">     </div> <div>                                                               <FONT SIZE="3" COLOR="#111111" FACE="Arial Black" >A</FONT>             </div> <bR> <div> Ah: The thing you see with, and the personal pronoun used denoting individuality.</div> <div> "Ah think Ah've got somethin' in mah ah." </div> <bR> <div> Ast: To interrogate or inquire, as when a revenue agent seeks information about</div> <div> illegal moonshine stills. "Don't ast me so many question. It makes me mad." </div> <bR> <div> Attair: Contraction used to indicate the specific item desire. "Pass me attair</div> <div> gravy, please" </div> <bR> <div> Awl: An amber fluid used to lubricate engines. "Ah like attair car, but it sure</div> <div> does take a lot of awl." </div> <div>                                                              <FONT SIZE="3" COLOR="#111111" FACE="Arial Black" >B</FONT></div> <bR> <div> Bawl: What water does at 212 degrees Fahrenheit. "That gal cain't even bawl</div> <div> water without burnin' it." </div> <bR> <div> Bleeve: Expression of intent or faith. "Ah bleeve we ought to go to church this</div> <div> Sunday." </div> <div>                                                              <FONT SIZE="3" COLOR="#111111" FACE="Arial Black" >C</FONT></div> <bR> <div> Cent: Plural of cent. "You paid five dollars for that necktie? Ah wouldn't give</div> <div> fiddy cent for it." </div> <bR> <div> Co-cola: The soft drink that started in Atlanta and conquered the world. "Ah</div> <div> hear they even sell Co-cola in Russia." </div> <bR> <div> Cyst: To render aid. "Can Ah cyst you with those packages, ma'am." </div> <div>                                                             <FONT SIZE="3" COLOR="#111111" FACE="Arial Black" >D</FONT></div> <bR> <div> Dujuonto: Interrogatory. " Dujuonto go fish'in this eve'nen ?"</div> <bR> <div> Dawg: Canine of either gender.  " That sho nuff is a prddy coon</div> <div>                 dawg . "                   </div> <div>                                                             <FONT SIZE="3" COLOR="#111111" FACE="Arial Black" >E</FONT></div> <bR> <div> Everwhichaways: To be scattered in all directions. "You should have been there</div> <div> when the train hit attair chicken truck. Them chickens flew everwhichaways. </div> <div>                                                              <FONT SIZE="3" COLOR="#111111" FACE="Arial Black" >F</FONT></div> <bR> <div> Far: A state of combustion that produces heat and light. "Ah reckon it's about</div> <div> time to put out the far and call in the dawgs." </div> <bR> <div> Flares: The colorful, sweet-smelling part of a plant. "If yo wife's mad at ya,</div> <div> it's smart to take her some flares." </div> <bR> <div> Fur: Measure of distance. "It's a fur piece ta Etlanna." </div> <bR> <div> Fur: Because of or to indicate possession. "Fur yew ta get attair new car yew</div> <div> gotta go see Bubba bout a loan." </div> <div>                                                                <FONT SIZE="3" COLOR="#111111" FACE="Arial Black" >G</FONT></div> <div> Gwine: The process of moving along. " Ah'm gwine to church this Sunday."</div> <bR> <div> Good ole boy: Any Southern male between age 16 and 60 who has an amiable</div> <div> disposition and is fond of boon companions, strong drink, hound dawgs, fishin',</div> <div> huntin', and good lookin' women, but</div> <div> not necessarily in that order. " Bubba's a good ole boy." </div> <bR> <div> Griyuts: What no Southern breakfast would be without - grits. "Ah like griyuts</div> <div> with butter and sawt on'em, but Ah purely love'em with red-eye gravy." </div> <div>                                                             <FONT SIZE="3" COLOR="#111111" FACE="Arial Black" >H</FONT></div> <bR> <div> Hale: Where General Sherman is going for what he did to Etlanna. (Atlanta)</div> <div> "General Sherman said "War is Hale" and he made sure it was." </div> <bR> <div> Hep: to aid or benefit. "Ah can't hep it if Ah'm still in love with you." </div> <div>                                                             <FONT SIZE="3" COLOR="#111111" FACE="Arial Black" >I</FONT></div> <bR> <div> Idinit: Term employed by genteel Southerners to avoid saying Ain't. "Mighty hot</div> <div> today, idinit?" </div> <div>                                                             <FONT SIZE="3" COLOR="#111111" FACE="Arial Black" >J</FONT></div> <bR> <div> Jew: Did you. "Jew want to buy attair comic book, son, or just stand there and</div> <div> read it here?" </div> <div>                                                              <FONT SIZE="3" COLOR="#111111" FACE="Arial Black" >K</FONT></div> <bR> <div> Kumpny: Guests. "Be home on time. We's havin' kumpny for supper." </div> <div>                                                               <FONT SIZE="3" COLOR="#111111" FACE="Arial Black" >L</FONT></div> <bR> <div> Law: Police, or as Southerners pronounce it, PO-leece. "We better get outta</div> <div> here. They's done called the law." </div> <bR> <div> Likker: Whiskey; either the amber kind bought in stores or the homemade white</div> <div> kind that federal authorities frown upon." Does he drink? Listen, he spills more</div> <div> likker than most people drink.' </div> <div>                                                              <FONT SIZE="3" COLOR="#111111" FACE="Arial Black" >M</FONT></div> <bR> <div> Mash: To press, as in the case of an elevator button. "Want me to mash yo floor</div> <div> for you, Ma'am?" </div> <bR> <div> Muchablige: Thank you. "muchablige for the lift, mister." </div> <div>                                                              <FONT SIZE="3" COLOR="#111111" FACE="Arial Black" >N</FONT></div> <bR> <div> Nawthun: Anything that is not Southern. "He is a classic product of the superior</div> <div> Nawthun educational system." (sarcasm) </div> <div>                                                              <FONT SIZE="3" COLOR="#111111" FACE="Arial Black" >O</FONT></div> <bR> <div> Ovair: In that direction. 'Where's yo paw, son?" He's ovair, suh." </div> <div> Ovyonder:  Also a direction. " Let's go ovyonder to Bubba's house."</div> <div>                                                               <FONT SIZE="3" COLOR="#111111" FACE="Arial Black" >P</FONT></div> <bR> <div> Phraisin: Very cold. "Shut that door. It's phraisin in here." </div> <bR> <div> Plum: Completely. "Ah'm plum wore out." </div> <bR> <div> Prddy: Pleasing or attractive. " That sho is a prddy dress, Mam." </div> <div>                                                              <FONT SIZE="3" COLOR="#111111" FACE="Arial Black" >R</FONT></div> <div> Ratcheer: Specific place. " Boy, set yo'reself down ratcheer and be still."</div> <bR> <div> Retch: To grasp for. "The right feilder retch over into the stands and caught</div> <div> the ball." </div> <div>                                                               <FONT SIZE="3" COLOR="#111111" FACE="Arial Black" >S</FONT></div> <bR> <div> Saar: The opposite of sweet. "These pickles Sure are saar." </div> <bR> <div> Shovelay: A GM car. "Nobody could drive a Shovelay like Junior Johnson." </div> <bR> <div> Sinner: Exact middle of. "Have you been to the new shoppin' sinner." </div> <bR> <div> Sugar: A kiss. "Come here and give me some sugar." </div> <bR> <div> Shet: To close. " Shet yo'r mouth boy, don't saas yo'r Mama !"</div> <div>                                                             <FONT SIZE="3" COLOR="#111111" FACE="Arial Black" >T</FONT></div> <div> They's: Contraction for they is. " They's gwine to town."</div> <bR> <div> Tarred: Fatigued. "Ah'm too tarred to go bowlin' nonight." </div> <bR> <div> Tar Arns: A tool employed in changing wheels. "You cain't change a tar without a</div> <div> tar arn." </div> <div>                                                             <FONT SIZE="3" COLOR="#111111" FACE="Arial Black" >U</FONT></div> <bR> <div> Uhmurkin: Someone who lives int he United States of Uhmurka. "Thomas</div> <div> Jefferson was a great Uhmurkin." </div> <div>                                                              <FONT SIZE="3" COLOR="#111111" FACE="Arial Black" >W</FONT></div> <bR> <div> War: Metal strands attached to posts to enclose domestic animals. "Be careful</div> <div> and don't get stuck on that bob war." </div> <bR> <div> Whup: To beat or to strike. "OOOEEE!!! Yer mama's gonna whup you fer sayin' a</div> <div> cuss word." </div> <div>                                                             <FONT SIZE="3" COLOR="#111111" FACE="Arial Black" >Y</FONT></div> <div> Yo: Personal pronoun, you. </div> <bR> <div> Yo'r: The possive forn of the pronoun you. " Shet yo'r mouth."</div> <bR> <div> Yankee shot: A Southern child's navel. "Momma, what's this on mah belly?"</div> <div> "That's yo Yankee Shot."</div> <div>                                                             <FONT SIZE="3" COLOR="#111111" FACE="Arial Black" >Z</FONT></div> <div>  Zat:Contraction, Is that. "Zat yo dawg?" </div> <div>             <IMG SRC="3ead2090.gif" border=0 width="466" height="9" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">                                     </div> <div>                                                    <FONT SIZE="3" COLOR="#111111" FACE="Arial Black" >ADDENDUM</FONT>                                    </div> <bR> <div> BARD - verb. Past tense of the infinitive "to borrow."</div> <bR> <div> Usage: "My brother bard my pickup truck." </div> <bR> <div> JAWJUH - noun. A highly flammable state just north of Florida.</div> <bR> <div> Usage: "My brother from Jawjah bard my pickup truck." </div> <bR> <div> MUNTS - noun. A calendar division.</div> <bR> <div> Usage: "My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck, and I aint herd from him</div> <div> in munts." </div> <bR> <div> IGNERT - adjective. Not smart. </div> <bR> <div> Usage: "Them City boys sure are ignert!" </div> <bR> <div> RANCH - noun. A tool.</div> <bR> <div> Usage: "I think I left my ranch in the back of that pickup truck my brother</div> <div> from Jawjuh bard a few munts ago." </div> <bR> <div> ALL - noun. A petroleum-based lubricant.</div> <bR> <div> Usage: "I sure hope my brother from Jawjuh puts all in my pickup truck." </div> <bR> <div> FAR - noun. A conflagration.</div> <bR> <div> Usage: "If my brother from Jawjuh doesn't change the all in my pickup truck,</div> <div> that things gonna catch far." </div> <bR> <div> BAHS - noun. A supervisor.</div> <bR> <div> Usage: "If you don't stop reading these Southern words and git back to work,</div> <div> your bahs is gonna far you!" </div> <bR> <div> TAR - noun. A rubber wheel.</div> <bR> <div> Usage: "Gee, I hope that brother of mine from Jawjuh doesn't git a flat tar in</div> <div> my pickup truck." </div> <bR> <div> TIRE - noun. A tall monument.</div> <bR> <div> Usage: "Lord willing and the creeks don't rise, I sure do hope to see that Eifel</div> <div> Tire in Paris sometime." </div> <bR> <div> HOT - noun. A blood-pumping organ.</div> <bR> <div> HOD - adverb. Not easy.</div> <bR> <div> Usage: "A broken hot is hod to fix." </div> <bR> <div> RETARD - Verb. To stop working.</div> <bR> <div> Usage: "My granpaw retard at age 65." </div> <bR> <div> TARRED - adverb. Exhausted.</div> <bR> <div> Usage: "I just flew in from Hot-lanta, and boy my arms are tarred." </div> <bR> <div> RATS - noun. Entitled power or privilege.</div> <bR> <div> Usage: "We Southerners are willing to fight for our rats." (Today's Southern</div> <div> Word comes from a school teacher in America's southern most state: Hawaii. As</div> <div> part of her class's study of the "War of Northern Aggression" (known to</div> <div> Yankees as the "Civil War"), she showed her class the movie Gettysburg. The</div> <div> students wondered why the Confederacy was fighting for their "rats." The</div> <div> answer, of course, is obvious: Southerners have very friendly rats ... in fact,</div> <div> you could almost say that we have some downright civil rats.) </div> <bR> <div> LOT - adjective. Luminescent.</div> <bR> <div> Usage: "I dream of Jeanie in the lot-brown hair." </div> <bR> <div> FARN - adjective. Not local.</div> <bR> <div> Usage: "I cudnt unnerstand a wurd he sed ... must be from some farn country." </div> <bR> <div> DID - adjective. Not alive.</div> <bR> <div> Usage: "He's did, Jim." </div> <bR> <div> EAR - noun. A colorless, odorless gas (unless you are in LA).</div> <bR> <div> Usage: "He can't breathe ... give 'em some ear!" </div> <bR> <div> BOB WAR - noun. A sharp, twisted cable.</div> <bR> <div> Usage: "Boy, stay away from that bob war fence." </div> <bR> <div> JU-HERE - a question.</div> <bR> <div> Usage: "Juhere that former Dallas Cowboys' coach, Jimmy Johnson, recently</div> <div> toured the University of Alabama?" </div> <bR> <div> HAZE - a contraction.</div> <bR> <div> Usage: "Is Bubba smart?" "Nah ... haze ignert." </div> <bR> <div> SEED - verb, past tense.</div> <bR> <div> VIEW - contraction: verb and pronoun. Usage: "I ain't never seed New York</div> <div> City ... view?" </div> <bR> <div> HEAVY DEW - phrase. A request for action.</div> <bR> <div> Usage: "Kin I heavy dew me a favor?" </div> <bR> <div> WARSH - verb. To clean.</div> <bR> <div> SQUARSH - noun. A vegetable (also verb - to flatten).</div> <bR> <div> Usage: "Warsh that squarsh, Bubba ... you don't know where its been!" </div> <bR> <div> GUVMMIT - Noun. An often-closed bureaucratic institution.</div> <bR> <div> Usage: "Great ... ANOTHER guvmmit shutdown!" </div> <bR> <div> Cole's Law: Thinly shredded cabbage </div> <div>                                                                                        </div> <bR> <div>  <IMG SRC="17510100.gif" border=0 width="16" height="16" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"> Return to main Redneck Page <A HREF="redneck_jokes.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Redneck Jokes"><U><IMG SRC="3c122210.gif" border=0 width="34" height="33" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></U></A><IMG SRC="3c354530.gif" border=0 width="84" height="83" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">  <IMG SRC="3db78310.gif" border=0 width="120" height="49" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">                                                                                   </div> <bR> <div>                                                                                      </div> <div> <A HREF="_breviated_medicul_dickshunnary.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Breviated Medicul Dickshunnary!"><U><IMG SRC="4ea64200.gif" border=0 width="100" height="32" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></U></A></div> <div>                                                                                                                                                          </div> <div>                                                                                       </div> <div>                                                                                      </div> <div>                                                                                     </div> <bR> <bR> <bR> <div>                                                                                     </div> <bR> <div>                                                                                               </div> <bR> <div>                                                                                            </div> <bR> <bR> <bR> <div>                                                                                  </div> <bR> <div>                                                                                            </div> <bR> <div>                                                                                      </div> <div>                                                                                   </div> <bR> <bR> <div>            </div> <bR> <div>                                                                            </div> <bR> <bR> <div>          </div> </td> </tr></table></body>