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Monkies 
Oh sure their cute and furry but so was Rasputin. Don't be fooled by there charms. They smell bad, throw feces, and eat bugs off each other. We know that in certain third world countries this qualifies one for public office, but that's not the half of it. People like Jane Goodall spend years in the rainforest trying to communicate with them like they have some vast warehouse of knowledge stored out there. We've never read a book authored by a monkey, although we're certain that some laws on the books were written by them.
