Graduate School Barbie comes in two forms:
Every Graduate School Barbie comes with these fun filled features
guaranteed to delight and entertain for hours:
- Grad School Barbie comes out of the box with a big grin on her face
that turns into a frown after 2 weeks or her first advisor meeting
(whichever comes first).
- Adorable black circles under her delightfully bloodshot eyes.
- Comes with two outfits: a grubby pair of blue jeans and 5 year old Gap
T-shirt, and a floppy pair of gray sweatpants with a matching "Go Screw
Yourself" T-shirt.
- Grad School Barbie talks! Just press the button on her left hand and
hear her say such upbeat grad school phrases like, "Yes, Professor, It'll
be done by tomorrow" "I'd love to write it all over again" and "Why didn't
I just get a job, I could have been making $40,000 a year by now if I had
Just started working with a Bachelor's. But noooooo, Mom and Dad wanted
A masters degree, I wish somebody would drop a bomb on the school so that
I'd have an excuse to stop working on my degree that's sucking every last
Drop of life force out of my withered and degraded excuse for a soul..."
(9 V lithium batteries sold separately
-Grad School Barbie is anatomically correct to teach kids about the
exciting changes that come with pursuing a higher education. Removable
panels on Barbie's head and torso allow you to watch as her cerebellum
fries to a crispy brown, her heart races to 150 beats per minute, and her
stomach lining gradually dissolves into nothing.
Deluxe Barbie comes with specially designed eye ducts. Just add a
little water, and watch Grad School Barbie burst into tears at random
intervals.
Fun for the whole family!
Other accessories include:
-Grad School Barbie's Fun Fridge(TM) Well stocked with microwave
popcorn, Coca-Cola, Healthy Choice Bologna (99% fat free!), and small
bottle of Mattel Brand Rum(TM).
-Grad School Barbie's Medicine Cabinet. Comes in Fabulous pink and
contains Barbie sized bottles of Advil, St. Johns Wort, Zantac, and your
choice of three fun anti-anxiety drugs! (Barbie's Medicine Cabinet is not
available without a prescription
-Grad School Barbie's Computer Workstation. Comes with a miniature
obsolete PC (pink of course), rickety desk, and over a dozen miniature Mountain
Dew cans to decorate your workstation with (Mountain Dew deposit not
included in price, tech support sold separately)
nd Grad School Barbie is not alone! Order now and you'll get two of
Barbie's great friends!
GRADUATE ADVISOR KEN: Barbie's mentor and advisor in her quest for
increased education and decreased self esteem. Grad Advisor Ken (tm)
comes with a supply of red pens and a permanent frown. Press the button to
hear Grad Advisor Ken deliver such wisdom to Barbie as "I need an update on
your progress" "I don't think you'll be ready to graduate yet" and "This is
nowhere near ready for publication."
Buy 3 or more dolls, and you can have Barbie's Thesis Committee! (Palm
Pilot and tenure sold separately.)
REAL JOB SKIPPER: When Barbie needs to talk, she knows that she can
always count on her good friend Real Job Skipper(TM), who got a job after
getting her bachelor degree. Press the button to hear Real Job Skipper say,
"Sometimes I wish I went for my masters degree!" and "Work is so hard! I
had to work a half an hour of overtime!" Real Job Skipper's Work Wardrobe and
Savings account sold separately. WARNING: Do not place Grad Student
Barbie and Real Job Skipper too close to each other, as there have been several
mysterious cases of children leaving the room and coming back to find
Barbie's hands mysteriously fused to Skipper's throat.
Delusional Master's Barbie(TM) and Ph.D. Masochist Barbie(TM).