You can identify universities by their internet domains
You are constantly looking for a thesis in novels
You have difficulty reading anything that doesn't have footnotes
You understand jokes about Foucault
The concept of free time scares you
You consider caffeine to be a major food group
You've ever brought books with you on vacation and actually studied
Saturday nights spend studying no longer seem weird
The professor doesn't show up to class and you discuss the readings anyway
You've ever traveled across two state lines specfically to go to a library
You appreciate the fact that you get to choose *which* twenty hours out of the day you have to work
You still feel guilty about giving students low grades (you'll get over it)
You can read course books and cook at the same time
You schedule events for academic vacations so your friends can come
You hope it snows during spring break so you can get more studying in
You've ever worn out a library card
You find taking notes in the park relaxing
You find yourself citing sources in conversation
You've ever sent a pesonal letter with footnotes
You can analyze the significance of appliances you cannot operate
Your carrel is better decorated than your apartment
You have ever, as a folklore project, attempted to track the progress of your own joke across the internet
You are startled to meet people who neither need nor want to read
You have ever brought a scholarly article to a bar
You rate coffee shops by the availability of outlets for your laptop
Everything reminds you of something in your discipline
You have ever discussed academic matters at a sporting event
You have ever spent more than $50 on photocopying while researching a single paper
There is a microfilm reader in the library that you consider "yours"
You actually have a preference between microfilm and microfiche
You can tell the time of day by looking at the traffic flow at the library
You look forward to summers because you're more productive without the distraction of classes
You regard ibuprofen as a vitamin
You consider all papers to be works in progress
Professors don't really care when you turn in work anymore
You find the bibliographies of books more interesting than the actual text
You have given up trying to keep your books organized and are now just trying to keep them all in the same general area
You reflexively start analyzing those Greek letters before you realize that it's a sorority sweatshirt, not an equation
You find yourself explaining to children that you are in "20th grade"
You start referring to stories like "Snow White, et al."
You frequently wonder how long you can live on pasta without getting scurvy
You look forward to taking some time off to do laundry
You have more photocopy cards than credit cards