| Open the mouth: die
dümmsten Unfälle des Jahres Teil 6
"The long awaited 1999 Darwin "Natural Selection"
Awards have been released! These awards are given each
year to bestow upon (the remains of) that individual,
who through single-minded self-sacrifice, has done the
most to remove undesirable elements from the human
gene pool. Ladies And Gentlemen... (drum roll... and
envelope please)...We proudly present the 1999
"Natural Selection" awards:...
And the sixth and last award goes to (the late) John Pernicky and
his friend, (the late) Sal Hawkins, of the great state
of Washington, decided to attend a local Metallica
concert at the George Washington amphitheater. Having
no tickets (but having had 18 beers between them),
they thought it would be easy to "hop" over the nine
foot fence and sneak into the show. They pulled their
pick-up truck over to the fence and the plan was for
(the late) Mr. Pernicky, who was 100-pounds heavier
than Mr. Hawkins) to hop the fence and then assist his
friend over.
Unfortunately for (the late) Mr. Pernicky, there was a
30-foot drop on the other side of the fence. Having
heaved himself over, he found himself crashing through
a tree. His fall was abruptly halted (and broken,
along with his arm, as it were) by a large branch that
snagged him by his shorts. Dangling from the tree with
a broken arm, he looked down and saw some bushes below
him. (Possibly) figuring the bushes would break his
fall, he removed his pocket knife and proceeded to cut
away his shorts to free himself from the tree. Finally
free, (did I mention that he is THE LATE) Mr. Pernicky
crashed into Holly bushes. The sharp leaves scratched
his ENTIRE body and now, without the protection of his
shorts, a holly branch penetrated his rectum.
To make matters worse (?!), on landing, his
pocketknife penetrated his thigh 3 inches. (The late)
Mr. Hawkins, on seeing his friend in considerable pain
and agony, decided to throw him a rope and pull him to
safety (now he thinks of the "S" word) by tying the
rope to the pick-up truck and slowly driving away.
However, in his drunken haste/state, he put the truck
into reverse and crashed through the fence landing on
his friend and killing him. Police arrived to find the
crashed pick-up with its driver thrown 100 feet from
the truck and dead at the scene from massive internal
injuries. Upon moving the truck, they found John under
it, half-naked scratches on his body, a holly stick in
his rectum, a knife in his thigh, and his shorts
dangling from a tree branch 25-feet in the air.
Congratulations gentlemen, you win...
|
| Die CD der Woche
OH DU SCHLUMPFIGE VOL.8 - DIE SCHLÜMPFE
mit folgenden Top-Songs:
Morgen Schlümpfe wird's getan***Wie schön, das es schneit***
Am Weihnachtsbaum die Lichter brennen***Jedes Jahr im Winter***Weihnachtsbaum***
Oh du Schlumpfige***Morgen kommt der Weihnachtsmann***Wenn Weihnachten
ist***
ABC***Das Trommellied***Stille Nacht, heillige Nacht***Fröhliche
Weihnachts überall***
Kennt ihr die Hirten***Lasst und froh und munter sein***Süsser
die Schlümpfe nie singen***
Schlumpfenweihnacht***Im Schlumpfenland ist Weihnacht***
Der Weihnachtsbaum im Schlumpfenhaus***Lasst das Fest ein Funke sein***
Bekannt aus Film, Funk und Abfalleimer! |
