Presty's "Cattle-a-GoGo"

As a cattle rancher, I feel it necessary to have a page dedicated to the split-hoofed ruminants who dominate my life. This is it.

"Roseanne" and "Audrey" Two of my Red Angus Orphans

I noticed recently that there are many, many "cow" pages on the World Wide Web. If you don't mind terribly, I'd like to make a clarification: A "COW" named "Buford" or "Norman" is usually a steer or bull. If it's a male animal, it is NOT called a cow. There, I finally got that out of my system!

There is a common myth that cattle are, by and large, good-natured animals. That may be true among the "Dairy" breeds, but I raise beef cattle. I get run over, run down, smacked-upside-the-head, etc. You are what you eat! Or, you are what you tag, brand and castrate!

I'd like to clarify, if I may, one more myth.
The search engines have me listed as:
"Grinning Through Clenched Teeth-Dancing the Cattle-a-GoGo"
"A Cattle Rancher shares 'HIS' humor......." I ain't no "HE":

Why on earth do people think that only men can have stinky, poop-coated jobs? I know lots of women in the cattle business. We all name our cows after each other and laugh our butts off when one of the namesakes is out in the field getting bred by a big, strapping bull.

Some quotes from fellow cow lovers: "Every winter day, I feed cattle. It REALLY sucks." -M. Somday-

Mich, do you have a beer? -D.D. Somday-

YES! -M. Somday-

"I hate your friggin' cows, Mich." -B.L. Keeley-

"You wanna keep your cattle on your own property?" -G. Strandberg-

"Let's each grab a shotgun and have a huge barbecue!" -B.L. Keeley-

"Okay!" -M. Somday-

Here it is, November of 2003 and we're bringing the cattle home from range. I can't begin to tell you what a hateful process this is. I'm getting out of it this weekend, citing various female problems and a sore back as excuses not to bounce around thousands of acres of logging roads in an old Dodge that rides like a damn rock. Of course, I'm also missing out on the wonderful biscuits and gravy from the deli along the way......Oh well, sacrifices must be made. What I WON'T miss is hopping around and swearing because I stepped in a freshly-dropped pile of cow patootie. I won't miss frantically climbing fences because a long-horned brahma bull decides that he's "Having a Bad Day". I won't miss getting chased around by maniacs with cattle prods and I CERTAINLY won't miss having to pick up crap-covered calves in order to safely secure them in the overhead compartment of the stock trailer. Like I said, people, SACRIFICES! Geez, I need a latte' and an office job.

Why aren't there any "beef cattle" designs? Well, herefords, angus and limosines aren't that pretty as backgrounds........

Ladies, I don't want to freak you out, but say the word "castration" to your husband and/or boyfriend and watch his "boys" shrivel up like a heavily-salted slug.