Español en las relaciones laborales
Señores/as, esto me lo han mandado de nuestra oficina de
Londres, pero nunca se sabe si es aplicabla en otros casos.....
FROM: Group Offices London
TO: All Spanish Staff
SUBJECT: Improper Language Usage
It's been brought to our attention by several
officials visiting our headquarters that the Spanish staff
commonly uses offensive language. Such behaviour, in addition to
violating our group's policy, is highly unprofessional and
offensive to both visitors and the staff itself. Therefore it is
requested to our Spanish staff to adhere immediately to the
following rules:
1. Foreign colleagues or visitors should not be
referred to as "mira ese guiri de mierda" or
"passa de ese polaco".
2. Words like "coño", "hostia" and other
such expressions will not be used for emphasis, no matter how
heated the discussion is.
3. You will not say "la ha cagao" when someone makes a
mistake, or "la esta cagando" if you see somebody being
reprimanded or "°que cagada!" when a major mistake has
been made. All direct or derived forms of the verb
"cagar" are inappropriate in our environment.
4. No Project Manager, Section Supervisor or Head of
Administration Chief, will be referred to, under any
circumstances, as "el hijo de la gran puta", or
"el muy cabron" or even "el comemierda".
5. Lack of determination will not be referred as to "falta
de huevos" por "mariconez" nor will persons with a
lack of initiative be ever referred to as "capullo" or
"acojonado"
6. Unusual and/or creative ideas shall not be referred to as
"pajas mentales" in particular when they stem from your
manager.
7. You will not say "como me jode" if a person is
persistent, or "esta jodido" or "se lo van a
follar" if a colleague is going through a difficult
situation. Furthermore, when matters become complicated the words
"que jodienda" should not be used.
8. When asking someone to leave you alone, you must not say
"vete a tomar polculo", nor should you ever substitute
the most educated "may I help you?" with "¿que
coño quieres ahora?"
9. If things get tough, an acceptable expression such as "we
are going through a difficult time" should be used rather
than "esto esta jodido" or "nos van a follar a
todos". Additionally, if you make a mistake, just say so and
do not say "que putada" or any expressions composed
with the root "puta".
10. No salary increase shall ever be referred to as "subida
de mierda".
11. Last, but not least, after reading this note please do not
say "me voy a limpiar el culo con ella" or "me la
paso por el forro de los cojones". Just keep it clean and
odorless and dispose of it properly. P.D. If this note does not
achieve its goal to improve the Spanish staff's language, it can
always be used as a Spanish language course for foreigners.
