Half a person

Call me morbid, call me pale
I've spent six years on your trail
Six long years on your trail
Call me morbid, call me pale
I've spent six years on your trail
Six full years of my life on your trail
And if you have five seconds to spare
Then I'll tell you the story of my life:
Sixteen, clumsy and shy
I went to London and I
I booked myself in at the Y...W.C.A
I said: "I like it here...can I stay ?
I like it here can I stay ?
And, do you have a vacancy
For a Back-scrubber ?"
She was left behind, and sour
And she wrote to me equally dower
She said: "In the days when you were
hopelessly poor
I just liked you more..."
So if you have five seconds to spare
Then I'll tell you the story of my life:
Sixteen, clumsy and shy
I went to London and I
I booked myself in at the Y...W.C.A
I said: "I like it here...can I stay ?
I like it here can I stay ?
And, do you have a vacancy
For a Back-scrubber ?"
Call me morbid call me pale
I've spent too long on your tail
Far too long
Chasing your tail
And if you have five seconds to spare
Then I'll tell you the story of my life:
Sixteen, clumsy and shy
That's the story of my life
Sixteen, clumsy and shy
The story of my life
That's the story of my life
That's the story of my life
That's the story of my life


Hand in glove

Hand in glove
the sun shines out of our behinds
no, it's not like any other love
this one is different because it's ours
Hand in glove
we can go wherever we please
and everything depends upon
how near you stand to me

And if the people stare
then the people stare
Oh, I really don't know and I really don't care

Hand in glove
the Good People laugh
yes, we may be hidden by rags
but we've something they'll never have

So, hand in glove I stake my claim
I'll fight to the last breath

If they dare touch a hair on your head
I'll fight to the last breath

for the Good Life is out there, somewhere
so stay on my arm, you little charmer

But I know my luck too well
and I'll probably never see you again.


The hand that rocks the cradle

Please don't cry
for the ghost and the storm outside
will not invade this sacred shrine
nor infiltrate your mind
my life down I shall lie
if the bogey-man should try
to play tricks on your sacred mind
to tease, torment and tantalize
wavering shadows loom
a piano plays in an empty room
there'll be blood on the cleaver tonight
and when the darkness lifts and the room is bright
I'll still be by your side
for you are all that matters
and I'll love you till the day I die
there never need to be longing in your eyes
as long as the hand that rocks the cradle is mine
ceiling shadows shimmy by
and when the wardrobe towers like a beast of prey
there's sadness in your beautiful eyes
Oh, you're untouched, unsoiled, wondrous eyes
my life down I shall lie
should the restless sprits try
to play tricks on you sacred mind
I once met a child and he saved my life
and I never even asked his name
I just looked into his wondrous eyes
and said "never never never again"
all too soon I did return
just like a moth to a flame
so rattle my bones all over the stones
I'm only a beggar-man whom nobody owns
see how words as old as sin
fit me like a glove I'm here and here I'll stay
together we lie, together we pray
there never need be longing in your eyes
as long as the hand that rocks the cradle is mine


Handsome devil

All streets are crammed with things
eager to be held
I know what hands are for
and I'd like to help myself
you ask me the time
but I sense something more
and I would like to give you
what I think you are asking for
you handsome devil
you handsome devil

Let me get my hands
on your mammary glands
let me get your head
on the conjugal bed
I say, I say, I say

I crack the whip
you skip
but you deserve it

A boy in the bush
is worth two in the hand
I think I can help you get through your exams

And when we're in your scholarly room
who will swallow whom ?

There's more to life than books, you know
but not much more


Heaven knows I'm miserable now

I was happy in the haze of a drunken hour
but heaven knows I'm miserable now

I was looking for a job, and then I found a job
and heavens know I'm miserable now

In my life
why do I give valuable time
to people who don't care if I live or die ?

Two lovers entwined pass me by
and heaven knows I'm miserable now

I was looking for a job, and then I found a job
and heaven knows I'm miserable now

In my life
why do I give valuable time
to people who don't care if I live or die ?

What she asked of me at the end of the day
Caligula would have blushed

"Oh, You've been in the house too long" she said
and I naturally fled

In my life
why do I smile
at people who I'd much rather kick in the eye ?

I was happy on the haze of a drunken hour
but heaven knows I'm miserable now

"You've been in the house too long" she said
and I naturally fled

In my life
why do I give valuable time
to people who don't care if I live or die ?


The headmaster ritual

Belligerent ghouls
run Manchester schools
spineless swines
cemented mines
Sir leads the troops
jealous of youth
same old suit since 1962
he does the military two-step
down the nape of my neck
I wanna go home
I don't want to stay
give up education
is a bad mistake
mid-week on the playing fields
Sir thwacks you on the knees
knees you in the groin
elbow in the face
I wanna go home
I don't want to stay

Belligerent ghouls
run Manchester schools
spineless bastards all
Sir leads the troops
jealous of youth
same old jokes since 1902
he does the military two-step
down the nape of my neck
I wanna go home
I don't want to stay
give up life
as a bad mistake
please excuse me from gym
I've got this terrible cold coming on
he grabs me and devours
he kicks me in the showers
kicks me in the showers
and he grabs and devours
I wanna go home
I don't want to stay


How soon is now ?

I am the son
and the heir
of a shyness that is criminally vulgar
I am the son and the heir
of nothing in particular

You shut your mouth
how can you say
or go about things the wrong way
I am Human and I need to be loved
Just like everybody else does

There's a club, if you've got to go
you could meet somebody who really loves you
so you go, and you stand on your own
and you leave on your own
and you go home, and you cry
and you want to die

When you say it's gonna happen "now"
well, when exactly do you mean ?
see I've already waited too long
and all my hope is gone


I know it's over

Oh Mother, I can feel the soil falling over my head
I want to climb into an empty bed
Oh well, Enough said
I know it's over-still I cling
I don't know where else I can go
Oh Mother, I can feel the soil falling over my head
see, the sea wants to take me
the knife wants to slit me
do you think you can help me ?
Sad veiled bride, please be happy
handsome groom, give her room
loud, loutish lover, treat her kindly
('though she needs you
more than she loves you)
and I know it's over
still I cling
I don't know where else I can go
over it's over, over, over I know
I know it's over
and it never really began
but in my heart it was so real
and you even spoke to me and said:
"If you're so funny
then why are you on your own tonight ?
and if you are so clever
then why are you on your own tonight ?
if you're so terribly good looking
then why do you sleep alone tonight ?
I know
because tonight is just like any other night
that's why you're on your own tonight
with your triumphs and your charms
while they're in each other's arms.."
It's so easy to laugh
it's so easy to hate
it takes strength to be gentle and kind
over, over, over, over
It's so easy to laugh
it's so easy to hate
it takes guts to be gentle and kind
over, over
love is natural and real
but not for you, my love
not tonight my love
love is natural and real
but not for such as you and I, my love
Oh Mother, I can fell the soil falling over my head
Oh Mother, I can fell the soil falling over my head
Oh Mother, I can fell the soil falling over my head
Oh Mother, I can fell the soil falling over my head
Oh Mother, I can fell the soil falling over my head


I don't owe you anything

Bought on stolen wine
a nod was the first step
you know very well
what was coming next

Bought on stolen wine
a nod was the first step
you know very well
what was coming next

did I really walk all this way ?
just to hear you say
"oh, I don't want to go out tonight"

oh, but you will
for you must

I don't owe you anything
but you owe me something
repay me now

you should never go to them
let them come to you
just like I do
just like I do

you should not go to them
let them come to you
just like I do
just like I do

Too freely on your lips
words prematurely said
oh but I know what will make you smile tonight

Life is never kind
Life is never kind
Oh, but I know what will make you smile tonight


I started something I couldn't finish

The lanes were silent
there was nothing, no one, nothing around for miles
I doused our friendly venture
with a hard-faced three-word gesture
I started something
I forced you into a zone
and you were clearly
never meant to go
hair brushed and parted
typical me, typical me, typical me
I started something
...and now I'm not too sure
I grabbed you by the guilded beams
that's what Tradition means
and I doused another venture
with a gesture
that was ... absolutely vile
I started something
forced you to a zone
and you were clearly
never meant to go
hair brushed and parted
typical me, typical me, typical me
I started something
...and now I'm not too sure
I grabbed you by the guilded beams
that's what Tradition means
and now eighteen months' hard-labor
seems ... fair enough
I started something
forced you to a zone
and you were clearly
never meant to go
hair brushed and parted
typical me, typical me, typical me
I started something
and now I'm not too sure


I want the one I can't have

On the day that your mentality
catches up with your biology
come 'round

cause I want the one I can't have
and it's driving me mad
it's all over my face

A double-bed
and a stalwart lover, for sure
these are the riches of the poor

A double-bed
and a stalwart lover, for sure
these are the riches of the poor

a tough kid who sometimes swallows nails
raised on Prisoner's Aid
he killed a policeman when he was thirteen
and somehow that really impressed me
but it's written all over my face

On the day that your mentality
catches up with your biology

And if you ever need self-validation
just meet me in the alley by the
railway-station
it's written all over my face


I won't share you

I won't share you
I won't share you
with the drive and ambition
and the zeal I feel
this is my time
as the note I wrote
was read, she said
has the Perrier gone
straight to my head
or is life plainly sick and cruel, instead?
"YES!"
No-no-no-no-no-no
I won't share you
I won't share you
with the drive
and the dreams inside
this is my time
Life tends to come and go
well, that's OK
just as long as you know
Life tends to come and go
well, that's OK
just as long as you know
I won't share you
I won't share you
with the drive
and the dreams inside
this is my time
this is my time


Is it really so strange ?

I left the North
I travelled South
I found a tiny house and
I can't help the way I feel
Oh yes you can kick me
and you can punch me
and you break my face
but you can't change the way I feel
'Cause I love you
And is it really so strange ?
Is it really so, really so strange ?
I say No, you say Yes
(and you will change your mind)
I left the South
I travelled North
I got confused-I killed a horse
I can't help the way I feel
Oh yes you can kick me
and you can butt me
and you can break my spine
but you won't change the way I feel
'cause I love you
And is it really so strange ?
Is it really so strange ?
Is it really so, really so strange ?
I say No, you say Yes
(but you will change your mind)
I left the North again
I traveled South again
I got confused I killed a nun
I CAN'T HELP THE WAY I FEEL
I CAN'T HELP THE WAY I FEEL
(I lost my bag in Newport Pagnell)
Why is the last mile the hardest mile
My throat was dry, with the sun in my eyes
And I realized, I realized
That I could never
I could never, never go back home again


That joke isn't funny anymore

Park the car at the side of the road
you should know
time's tide will smother you
and I will too
when you laugh about people who feel so very lonely
their only desire is to die
well I'm afraid
it doesn't make me smile
I wish I could laugh
but that joke isn't funny anymore
it's too close to home
and it's too near the bone
it's too close to home
and it's too near the bone
won't you ever know
It was dark as I drove the point home
and on cold leather seats
well, it suddenly struck me
I just might die
with a smile on my face after all

I've seen this happen in other people's lives
and now it's happening in mine