|
|
Welcome to Jokes. Well it's pretty damm clear what's it all about. But just in case your completely dumb, here's what it's about.
Each week, well 2 weeks, I'll update this page with the best jokes I've read, been told, or made up. Please send your jokes into me, and they WILL be shown here, with a mention of you (good way of free advertiseing for your home page too.) Okay, here's the jokes.
--------------------------
Joke One
A doctor walks into his office, where a patient is anxiously awaiting results from a blood test. "Mr. Stirling, I'm not going to mess you around," the medic announces. "There's good news and there's bad news. Which do you want first?"
"Give me the bad stuff," replies the man. Calmy, the doc says: "You've got 48 hours to live." His patient howls, claws at the hair and moans "Oh my God, what am I going to do? Surely there must be some cure?"
"Of Course not," he says gruffly. "I'm sorry but you're set to drop dead." "But I thought there was good news?" Sobs the man. "Oh yes, that's right there is." replies the doc cheerfully. " Remember the beautiful nurse at reception when you came in ?". "Yes." replies the puzzled patient. "The blonde one in the tight uniform," continues the doc. "Yeah! With the big tits!" says the patient, somewhat brighter. "Well," says the doc "I'm shagging her".
--------------------------
Joke Two
Pete rings his boss at work and says. " Look I'm really sorry I can't come into work today, I'm sick.". "Sick ! Sick !" screams his boss "Sick? This is the tenth time this month, Pete. Exactly how sick are you ?". " Well, " replies pete " I'm in bed with my twelve year old sister"
--------------------------
Joke Three
Once there was this farmer, who had an strange addition to tractors. Often he would spend thousands upon thousands on tractors, causing his wife much distress. Until one day he was persuded to get therapy for his illness. After years and years of high psychriatic bills, he was finally cured.
Feeling happy about his new found self he was walking down the lane when he saw a school was fire. He rushed to help out. He saw that all the children were locked in a room dying from the thick black smoke. So he broke a window and inhaled all the smoke and blew it away, saving the children. After a fire man says to him "that was dreat, how I can we ever thank you, how did you do it ?" the man replys "That's okay, I'm an ex-tractor fan".
--------------------------
Well that's it for this edition of "Jokes". Come back in two weeks time (30/6/99).
Send any jokes to me at Simon Bloss
Simon Bloss © 1999
