The room is bare, dusty. A ceiling fan turns. The wall clock ticks. Craig, 30 years old and small, sits at a collapsible card table. The only item on the table is a book. Craig picks it up, looks at the jacket. It's entitled "Sit." Craig opens the book. It reads: "sit sit sit sit sit..." over and over, page after page. Craig closes the book. He begins to stand, but thinks better of it, sighs. He looks at the book again. It is now entitled "Die." He opens it up. "die die die die die..." A rooster crows.

Craig jolts awake. A rooster stands on Craig's chest, crowing. Lotte, also 30, in the middle of dressing for work, hurries in and pulls the bird from Craig's chest.

Lotte leans down and kisses Craig on the forehead.

The place is a mess. Vivaldi blasts through cheap speakers. A small marionette stage stands in the back of the garage. The stage is lit and on it is a finely sculpted puppet version of Craig. The "Craig" puppet paces back and forth, wringing its hands with incredible subtlety. We see Craig, above and behind the stage. He is manipulating the puppet. His fingers move fast and furious. The puppet breaks into a dance, a beautiful and intricate balletic piece. Soon the puppet is leaping and tumbling through space, moves that one would think impossible for a marionette. Sweat appears on the real Craig’s brow. His fingers move like lightning. The puppet moves faster and faster. Sweat appears on the puppet's brow. We see that the sweat is being piped from a special device that the real Craig controls. The Craig puppet collapses on the floor of the stage. It puts its hands up to its face and weeps. Craig hangs the puppet, and comes down around the front of the stage. He is heaving. He switches off the music, picks up a beer and takes a swig.

The room is filled with penned and unpenned animals of all kinds: snakes, lizards, birds, a dog, cats, etc. Craig sits on the couch and looks at the want ads, the TV is on in the background. Elijah, the monkey, sits next to Craig holding his stomach and moaning weakly. On the TV, Derek Mantini is working a 60 foot high marionette from the top of a water tower. The assembled crowd is enthralled.

Charles Nelson Reilly floats by in a hot air balloon.

Craig switches off the TV. He comes across an ad for a female puppeteer to teach at a girls school. Craig rubs his chin in thought, then stands with great determination.

MUSIC IN: TRIUMPHANT

Craig searches through Lotte's closet, looking for the right dress.

Craig waxes his body, shaves his face.

Craig paints his nails while he chats on the phone. Craig pulls stockings and underwear from Lotte's drawer. Craig picks a wig from a mannequin head on Lotte's dressing table.

Craig, at the sewing machine, is sewing padding to go onto his chest and around his hips.

Craig applies make up in the bathroom mirror.

Craig, now looking very much like a woman, admires himself in the full length mirror.

Craig hails a taxi in his get-up. Men on the street turn and leer at him.

Craig and the headmistress chat over tea. Craig is quite animated and charming. The admiring headmistress smiles and nods her head in approval.

Craig instructs a class of uniformed girls. He draws complex diagrams of puppets on the blackboard. The students are transfixed, except for one troubled girl who eyes Craig sullenly from the back of the room as she plays with a switchblade.

Craig guides the hands of the troubled teenage girl, who is trying to manipulate a marionette. The girl looks up at Craig. Her tough facade crumbles and she smiles. Craig smiles back.

The girls carry Craig on their shoulders. Everyone is joyous.

Craig leads the girls in a bike race. Everyone is laughing and screaming. One of the girls notices that Craig is riding a man's bike.

MUSIC OUT.

Craig sits in a holding cell with several other men. He is still in the dress, but the wig is in his lap and the make-up is smeared off. Lotte appears with a cop outside Craig's cell. The door is opened, and Craig, Lotte, and the cop head down the hall.

Lotte drives. Craig looks out the window. Both are silent.

More silence.

They drive in silence.

Craig sits on the couch in his bathrobe and studies the want ads. He sees an ad for a company called "WOMYN-TEERS", looking for "an African-American, Lesbian Separatist Puppeteer for Community Outreach." Craig rubs his chin in thought, stands with determination.

MUSIC IN: SAME AS BEFORE.

Craig applies a dark pancake make-up to his face.

Craig pulls an afro-style wig off a mannequin head on Lotte's dressing table.

Craig, now made up to look like a black, lesbian separatist, hails a cab. Women look at him longingly.

Craig, dressed as the black lesbian and beaten to a pulp. sits in the passenger seat. Lotte drives.

Craig reads the paper. He comes across an ad: "Female puppeteer wanted for nudist colony marionette staging of 'Oh, Calcutta!'" Craig rubs his chin.

Craig sits in the passenger seat. He is made up as a woman and wears a full-body rubber "naked woman" suit. Lotte drives.

Craig sees a personal ad: "Male puppeteer looking for attractive female puppeteer for friendship, travel, and much much more." Craig rubs his chin, then thinks better of it and sighs. He finds a want ad calling for a “short-statured file clerk with unusually nimble and dexterous fingers needed for speed filing." Craig writes down the address.

Craig. in sport coat and tie, studies the business listings board. He finds LesterCorp, and sees that it is located on floor 7 1/2. Craig presses the elevator button and waits. Another man comes and waits next to him. The doors open, and Craig and the other man get in.

The other man presses "9." Craig studies the buttons. There is no "7 1/2."

The man picks up a crowbar leaning in the corner. He watches the floor numbers light up in succession. After "7" and before "8", the man hits the emergency stop button. The elevator slams to a halt. The man pries open the doors with the crowbar. Revealed is a standard office building hallway, except that from floor to ceiling it is only about four feet high. Everything is scaled down accordingly. The number on the wall across from the elevator is 7 1/2.

Craig climbs out onto the 7 1/2 floor.

Craig, hunched-over, makes his way down the hallway looking for LesterCorp. He passes a hunched-over man walking in the other direction. They nod to each other. Craig finds a door marked "LesterCorp - Meeting America's Filing Needs Since 1922." He enters.

All furniture is scaled down to fit into this low-ceilinged space. A few other short men sit reading tiny magazines. Craig approaches Floris, the receptionist.

Craig takes a seat next to the other applicants.

The intercom buzzes. Floris picks it up.

Craig stands, opens Lester's door, and enters.

Craig enters. Lester, a giant of an old man, sits hunched behind his tiny desk.

Lester flips an intercom switch.

Lester hands Craig a bunch of index cards. Craig orders them with amazing speed and dexterity. Lester watches, eyes wide.

It's a small screening room with red velvet seats. There are a few people scattered about the squat theater. Craig is among them. He looks around the room and his eyes rest momentarily on Maxine. She is in her late 20's with close cropped black hair. Her eyes are opaque, her face expressionless, her countenance trance-like. She glances over at Craig, then turns back to the screen. The lights dim. A projector whirs and the screen is illuminated.

We tilt up the building.

MUSIC: Perky Industrial Film Music.

TITLE: The 7 1/2 Floor

Don and Wendy, two office workers, crouch in the hall and chat. Both hold cups of coffee.

An actor playing Mertin sits at a desk and writes with aquill. He appears very stern and has mutton chop sideburns.

There is a knock at the door.

A tiny woman enters.

Mertin wipes a tear from his eye.

Don And Wendy crouch and talk.

TITLE: The End

The screen goes dark. The lights go up. Craig looks over at Maxine. She stands and walks past him.

Maxine walks away.

Lotte chops onions. A parrot sits on her head. Craig stirs a pot on the stove. A monkey leaps from the top of the cabinet to the top of the refrigerator to the kitchen table. A dog watches the monkey and barks at it.

The dog continues to bark.

An offscreen neighbor pounds the wall.

Lotte grabs the parrot off her head and leaves the room.

Lotte reenters.

The doorbell rings. The dog barks. The parrot screams. The neighbor pounds on the wall.

The dining room table is set up. Craig and Lotte and their friends Peter and Gloria are seated and eating dinner. There is an obvious lull in the conversation.

There is another lull. Everyone eats.

Gloria and Peter drive in silence.

Craig washes the dishes. Lotte dries them. They don’t look at each other.

Craig. in a cream colored suit, pours over the file cabinets. Floris watches from the doorway.

Craig turns.

Floris shrugs, shakes her head.

Craig pours himself a cup of coffee. Maxine approaches with an empty cup.

Craig fills her cup.

Maxine walks away.

Craig is at his workbench, painting the finishing touches on a new puppet. It is beautiful. It is Maxine. Lotte watches quietly from the door. A Lotte puppet hangs from a hook, tangled and dusty.

Craig is surprised, caught.

Craig hangs the puppet, stands, and switches off the light.

The room is dark. Lotte snores lightly. Craig lies there with his eyes open. Quietly, he gets up and leaves the bedroom. Lotte watches him go.

Craig stands above the puppet stage. He is working both the Craig puppet and the Maxine puppet at the same time. The two perform a beautiful and graceful pas de deux. They finish in a passionate embrace.

Craig files. Floris watches him from the doorway. Dr. Lester watches Floris from behind a cabinet.

Floris laughs long and hard. Too long and too hard.