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The most powerful and therefore (like Unix, if you think about it) the craziest language to learn. Need we say more?
Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.
He was as tall as a six-foot-three-inch tree.
A writer must not shift your point of view.
And
don't start a sentence with a conjunction.
A preposition is a terrible word to end a sentence with.
"I want money as quick as I can get it. I have been in bed with the doctor for two weeks and he doesn't do me any good. If things don't improve, I will have to send for another doctor."
The checker pour o'er every word, to cheque sum spelling rule.
Be fore a veiling checkers hour spelling mite decline,
We trussed each other - let our marriage knot be undone.
Caution! Incorrigible punster (please don't incorrige).
Learner: Die twatte mit ellplatz
Windscreen Wiper: Der Flippenflappen muckenschpredder
Footbrake: Der Edbangeronvindschreen Stoppenkwick
...,Grammar, Growandsee, Guide , Happymore, Hardwell, Headache, Honest, Honour, Hope, Horsegrine,... somehow there are people out there walking around with names like these.
Year 2 might reform "w" spelling, so that "which" and "one" would take the same konsonant, wile Year 3 might well abolish "y" replasing it with "i" and Iear 4 might fiks the "g/j" anomali wonse and for all.
o I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way.
o The guy was all over the road. I had to swerve a number of times before I
hit him.
o In an attempt to kill a fly I drove into a telephone pole.
Lass of that I am thank your lunch which is smelly good. I am again fed up with it and I have admitted to revenge when bothe of you are invented by Uganda. Thank you very hard an we shall collide everywhere else in internal."
Hu Flung Dung : Which one of you fertilized the field?
Hu Yu Hai Ding : We have reason to believe you are harboring a fugutive
Jan Ne Ka Sun : A former late night talk show host
Mary had a little lamb,
her father shot it dead.
Now it goes to school with her
between two chunks of bread.
Four-poster bed, 101 years old. Perfect for antique lover.
We do not tear your clothing with machinery. We do it carefully by hand.
Dog for sale: eats anything and is fond of children.
The Non-Landing (Non-Handling, since the Landing Pilot is Handling) Pilot reads the checklist to the Handling Pilot until after the Before Descent Checklist completion, when the Handling Landing Pilot hands the handling to the Non-Handling Non-Landing Pilot who then becomes the Handling Non-Landing Pilot.
LOVE: (luv) unproved conjecture that a female and a male can genuinely enter a symbiotic relationship. In most cases a corollary of money, lust and/or avarice. Thought to have been invented by writers in order to sell more books.
eg "in an ongoing effort to make literature more truthful, it has been suggested that the famous love story 'Romeo & Juliet' be renamed 'Romeo $ Juliet'.
At a Hong Kong dentist's: Teeth extracted by the latest Methodists.
At a Czech tourist agency: Take one of our horse-driven city tours. We
guarantee no miscarriages.
Advert for donkey rides in Thailand: Would you like to ride on your own ass?
Please excuse Johnny for being. It was his father's fault.
Please excuse Ray Friday from school. He has very loose vowels.
Anybody who goes to psychiatrist ought to have have his head examined.
I may not always be right, but I am never wrong.
