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A study, supported by the Department of Labor, explored the cost/benefit ratio of 48 of our society's most common professions. The study considered all the elements of a career, not simply salary. It examined the amount and cost of education necessary, time spent in class, annual overhead, probability of success, tax shelter possibilities, stress and health effects, and impact on family life and quality of living.
When all life quality elements had been factored in, one career emerged as having a clear edge in each category. It was bank robbery.
This finding was confirmed by another study that reported that the average bank robber is apprehended during his or her 18th heist. Given that the risk of apprehension increases geometrically, the likelihood of being arrested during the first three jobs is really quite small, only .03. When this is compared to the failure rate of new franchises (.13), new small businesses (.21) and new restaurants (.64), the cost/benefit ratio appears appalling indeed.
The program is also self insured: if it fails, living expenses are automatically picked up by the government.
Reprinted from a reprint in the current Journal of Irreproducible Results.
