Interesting Headlines

Newspapers are wonderful things. Headlines are even more wonderful --- they tell you whether a story is worth reading without you having to read the story in the first place. But every now and then a story is headed by big bold letters that can be interpreted in two ways. One way is the way it's supposed to be interpreted, and the other way is more... interesting. Here are some examples that the journos have collected. Most have double meanings -- others are just ... well, you find out.

Something Went Wrong In Jet Crash, Expert Says

Police Begin Campaign To Run Down Jaywalkers

Safety Experts Say School Bus Passengers Should Be Belted

Drunk Gets Nine Months In Violin Case

Survivor Of Siamese Twins Joins Parents

Farmer Bill Dies In House

Iraqi Head Seeks Arms

Prostitutes Appeal To Pope

Panda Mating Fails: Veterinarian Takes Over

Squad Helps Dog Bite Victim

Man Eating Piranha Mistakenly Sold as Pet Fish

Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant

Police Found Drunk in Shop Window

Soviet Virgin Lands Short Of Goal Again

Lung Cancer In Women Mushrooms

Eye Drops Off Shelf

Teacher Strikes Idle Kids

Reagan Wins On Budget, But More Lies Ahead

Squad Helps Dog Bite Victim

Shot Off Woman's Leg Helps Nicklaus to 66

Enraged Cow Injures Farmer with Ax

Plane Too Close To Ground, Crash Probe Told

Miners Refuse to Work After Death

Juvenile Court To Try Shooting Defendant

Stolen Painting Found By Tree

Two Soviet Ships Collide, One Dies

Two Sisters Reunited After 18 Years In Checkout Counter

Killer Sentenced To Die For Second Time In 10 Years

Never Withhold Herpes Infection From Loved One

Drunken Drivers Paid $1000 in '84

War Dims Hope For Peace

If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last a While

Cold Wave Linked To Temperatures

Enfields Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide

Red Tape Holds Up New Bridge

Deer Kill 17,000

Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead

Man Struck By Lightning Faces Battery Charge

New Study Of Obesity Looks For Larger Test Group

Kids Make Nutritious Snacks

Chef Throws His Heart Into Helping Needy

Arson Suspect Is Held In Massachusetts Fire

British Union Finds Dwarves In Short Supply

Ban On Soliciting Dead in Trotwood

Lansing Residents Can Drop Off Trees

Local High School Dropouts Cut In Half

New Vaccine May Contain Rabies

Man Minus Ear Waives Hearing

Deaf College Opens Doors To Hearing

Steals Clock, Faces Time

Prosecutor Releases Probe into Undersheriff

Old School Pillars are Replaced By Alumni

Bank Drive-In Window Blocked By Board

Hospitals are Sued By 7 Foot Doctors

Some Pieces Of Rock Hudson Sold At Auction

Sex Education Delayed, Teachers Request Training

Include Your Children When Baking Cookies

Police Discovered Pot Plants Were Really Cannabis

Headless Body Found In Topless Bar



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