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Politician: Someone who, when they see the light at the end of the tunnel, order more tunnel. --- Sir John Quinton
Political animal: rat, toad, snake, ass, worm, louse, etc.
Socialist: a person who is so disgusted by the way power is controlled by a few huge corporation that he proposes to place it in the hands of one giant corporation.
Dillema: A politician trying to save both sides of his face at once. -- John Lincoln
Honest Politician: One who, once bought, will stay bought.
It was as dark as the inside of a cabinet minister. -- Joyce Cary
American politicians will do anything for money; English politicians will take the money and won't do anything. -- Stephen Leacock
John Selwyn Gummer, an agriculture minister who makes a sheep look charismatic. -- Mark Lawson
I think we have all enjoyed another lugubrious concatenation of meaningless cliches from the foreign secretary. --- Dennis Healey after a Geoffrey Howe speech.
Four fairies attended the birth of David Owen. Number one said "You'll be good looking." Number Two said "You'll be clever." Number three said "You'll be very ambitious." Number Four said "You'll be all these things and you'll also be a shit." -- Dennis Healey
He looks like a refugee from his sunlamp. --- John Major on Robert Kiroy-Silk
When it comes to the crunch, the Trade Unions will put their arms around Mr Kinnock and say "Neill!" And he will, he will. -- John Major (I can't believe he thought of that himself)
Why does it take two days for a polaroid of John Major to appear? -- Barry Cryer
Sit down man. You're a bloody tragedy. --- James Maxton during Ramsay MacDonald's last House of Commons speech.
She ate journalists for breakfast and, feeling peckish, bit off some reporters' heads at a press conference. -- Trevor Fishlock on the Iron Lady
I often compare Margaret Thatcher with Florence Nightingale. She stalks through the wards of our hospitals as a lady with a lamp. Unfortunately, it's a blowlamp. --- Denis Healey
If he believes that the spirit of Nye Bevan supports his changes to the NHS then there is a wheel missing from his ouija board. --- Robin Cook
He's going around the country stirring up apathy. --- William Whitelaw
When Carter gave a fireside chat, the fire went out.
I would not want Carter and his men put in charge of snake-control in Ireland. --- Eugene McCarthy
I found out where George Bush is today. He's visiting his economists. He's at Disneyland. -- Lloyd Bentsen
It's a great day for Arkansas. We're on the map at last. Better still, Bill Clinton's not our governor any more. -- anon Arkansas businesswoman
Governor Clinton talks about change, change, change. Well that's all you're going to have in your pockets if he's elected. --- George Bush
We in the Republican party have never said to the press that Clinton's a philandering, pot-smoking draft-dodger. --- Mary Matalin
Q: How do you tell Al Gore from the Secret Service Agents?
A: He's the stiff one!
How does one tell the President of the United States to stop picking his nose and lifting his leg to fart in front of the TV camera and using `chidken shit' in every other sentence? -- Stuart Rosenberg on LBJ
Anyone who extends to him the right hand of friendship is in danger of losing a couple of fingers. -- Alva Johnston on Fiorello La Guardia
Governor Martinez exudes the warm personal charm of a millipede. --- Dave Berry
Nixon's motto was: If two wrongs don't make a right, try three. -- Norman Cousins
If he had an affair while he was in office, I misjudged him. I thought he was just doing that to the rest of the country. -- John Gavin
If Nixon is alone in a room, is anyone there? --- Gloria Steinem
"I am not going to exploit for political purposes my opponent's youth and inexperience." --- Ronald Reagan during a Presidential debate with Walter Mondale, 1984
You've got to be careful quoting Reagan because when you do it accurately it's called mudslinging --- Walter Mondale [there's a surprise]
The battle for the mind of Ronald Reagan was like trench warfare in World War One; never have so many fought so hard for such barren terrain. --- Peggy Noonan
Malcolm Fraser is the cutlery man of Australia. He was born with a silver spoon in his mouth, speaks with a forked tongue and knifes his colleagues in the back. --- Bob Hawke
