Duel of the Fates

[NOTE: some parts of this can be considered angst? I don't think so, but some people might, so just a warning.]
[Melrose Naboo. It's early afternoon. There's a large crowd gathered outside the apartment building. On the twelfth-floor ledge a young Gungan is standing, holding on to the side of the building. He's got a dull look on his face and his eyes look sunken and glassy.]

Qui-Gon: Whatever you do, don't jump!
Gungan: Why'sa dat? What reason is der for me'sa no jump?

[Qui-Gon shakes his head and smiles.]

Qui-Gon: Oh... you had to ask, my friend. You had to ask. You have it bad? Well, then. Let's see. My apprentice Anakin - he's got it pretty bad too.

[The Gungan looks pensively at Qui-Gon.]

Qui-Gon: Oh, yes. Let's see. He's supposed to be my apprentice. But I mainly use him as a tool to anger the Jedi Council. I have wild passionate Force-driven sex with his mother every chance I get. And my other apprentice - my REAL apprentice, mind you, the one I actually train - has slept with his girlfriend. Oh, and since his girlfriend has hundreds of clones of herself running around all over the place, he's actually cheated on her without actually knowing it!

[Qui-Gon takes a breath to continue. The Gungan shakes his head and gestures for him to stop.]

Gungan: No, you'sa right. Me'sa got no problems worth da jump der! Me'sa thought me'sa having de proplems, Boss Nass no likin' da meal me'sa bringing him... but dat nothing, nadda-all!
Qui-Gon: [nods] So you'll come down peacefully then?
Gungan: Oh, me'sa will! Me'sa got da new lookin' on life now!...

[The Gungan suddenly loses his balance, and totters near the edge, windmilling his arms. He loses his balance again, and falls, screaming, to the ground. Qui-Gon covers his eyes.]

Cop: It's over, Jedi, sir. He's dead.

[Qui-Gon uncovers his eyes, and smiles sadly. From behind him he hears a voice say:]

Voice: My, aren't we Mr. Cheerful today.

[He turns around to see Obi-Wan Kenobi leaning in the doorway, a frown on his face. Qui-Gon sighs heavily.]

Qui-Gon: Given the events of the past few days, can you blame me? I'm surprised that Anakin hasn't tried jumping off the building.

[Obi-Wan frowns again.]

Obi-Wan: You'd have to drag him out of the bar first.
Qui-Gon: That bad?
Obi-Wan: Let's just say he's not too pleased with either of us.
Qui-Gon: He seemed fine at Sears.
Obi-Wan: Yeah, but going to your place seems to have... well...
Qui-Gon: I was afraid of this. Maybe I should talk to him.
Obi-Wan: [under his breath] Take your lightsabre.

[Qui-Gon doesn't seem to hear him. The Jedi heads towards Anakin's.]

[Anakin's apartment. Anakin sits on his couch, beer in hand. He's in rough shape. He's unshaven, red-eyed, dressed in his raggedy cutoffs and the shredded remains of a Tatooine Tigers football jersey. The Snow Show is on, but he's not watching. 23 empty beer bottles and an empty cardboard box sit on the coffee table. Qui-Gon knocks on the door.]

Anakin: ...
Qui-Gon: Anakin? Open the door.
Anakin: Go 'way!
Qui-Gon: This is important!
Anakin: SMEG OFF, OLD MAN!

[Qui-Gon forces the door open. Anakin's bleary red eyes turn to meet Qui-Gon.]

Qui-Gon: We have to talk. Now.
Anakin: Funny, that's what your simpering smeghead of a Padawan said in Sears before we had it out! [Looks at Qui-Gon] You wanna fight me?
Qui-Gon: No...

[Anakin laughs]

Anakin: You ruined my life, you know that? You and your Padawan. I was happy just being on Tatooine, and podracing Sebulba. Everything was fine. Before you came, that is.
Qui-Gon: That's just the alcohol talking, Ani...
Anakin: DON'T CALL ME THAT! My name is Anakin. Don't you forget that, Old Man. Now get out.
Qui-Gon: No. We need to discuss this like adults.
Anakin: I said get out! [raises the bottle threateningly. Qui-Gon backs out of the apartment.]

[Obi-Wan is toting a basket of clothes to be washed. He's just locking his door, with the basket bobbing beside him via the Force. Qui-Gon, preoccupied with Anakin, doesn't see him and knocks into him. Surprised, the Padawan's concentration falters and the basket of clothes tumbles to the ground.]

Obi-Wan: Oh! Master! Are you alright? You don't look good.
Qui-Gon: I'm ok. I...

[Obi-Wan looks at him, concerned.]

Qui-Gon: I just need some rest. And a vacation.
Obi-Wan: Master... are you sure this is wise?
Qui-Gon: I'm the Master here, Obi-Wan. When I want your advice, I'll ask for it.

[Qui-Gon goes to his room, leaving Obi-Wan to pick up his clothes on the floor unhappily. The little Jedi bends down to pick up his laundry. As he does so, he sees a beer bottle fly out into the hallway. It explodes into shards, spraying tepid beer everywhere, including onto Obi-Wan's clothes. Obi-Wan looks up, about to say something. He sees Anakin and decides to stay quiet. Anakin slams the door shut, and soon the harsh tones of heavy metal music blare from the darkened apartment. Obi-Wan sighs and goes into his own apartment with his now soggy laundry.]

[Anakin smells something good. Better than good. Amazing. Obi-Wan's cooking. Anakin's stomach automatically growls, he hasn't eaten for a while. He tells his stomach to be quiet. It growls louder in reply. Sighing, Anakin gets up, storms out of his apartment, slams his door closed, stomps all the way to Obi-Wan's apartment, Force-blasts the door open, sits down at the kitchen table (which has been mysteriously set for two? Maybe Qui-Gon was coming over or something). Obi-Wan enters with a tray of fried fambaa chops and creamy whipped creamcheese potatoes with (and this was the most impressive) perfect radish roses. Anakin's stomach sighs at the sight of all the food. Without saying a word, Obi-Wan sets the tray down on the table and sits in the other spot. Anakin helps himself and digs in to the delightful meal.]

[Finally, Anakin's stomach is happy. He sits back and watches Obi-Wan silently clear off the dishes. Obi-Wan still has not said a word. Anakin isn't sure what the little Jedi is upto. When Obi-Wan hasn't returned, Anakin goes into the kitchen to see the Padawan sitting on the kitchen floor sobbing. His face is all red and puffy, and he's tried unsuccessfully to wipe away his tears with his braid. Something inside Anakin snaps. Maybe it's the food he'd eaten coming back to make him feel bad; maybe it's Obi-Wan forcing a Snuggly-Bunny Mind Trick on him; maybe it's just the sad sight of the Jedi crying. Anakin finds himself going over to the unhappy Padawan.]

Anakin: Look, I'm sorry I was so mean to you before, ok?
Obi-Wan: [sniffles] I... know... it's... just... [sniffles] everything... is... just... smegged up! You're mad, Qui-Gon's mad... everyone is mad! I just don't know anymore.
Anakin: Yeah. But the thing is, well, it's Qui-Gon! And my mom! And then when I get mad, he can't understand why! Be an adult about it? Qui-Gon's shagging my mother! I shagged clones of my girlfriend without even realizing it! You...

[Obi-Wan sighs.]

Obi-Wan: Don't bring that up, please don't bring that up... [he starts crying again] I'm so sorry...
Anakin: Yeah, I know, she got you drunk for revenge. It wasn't your fault. But still...

[Obi-Wan nods, unable to stop the tears pouring from his eyes. Anakin looks at him, then suddenly feels his own eyes watering. He blinks, frantically trying to stop the tears, but Obi-Wan's soul-bearing is too much for him, and he breaks down, sobbing. Obi-Wan holds out his arms, and Anakin falls into them, hugging back. The rough fabric of the Padawan's robes rubs against his face, but he doesn't care. The tears won't stop, they just keep coming and coming, and the robe does a good job soaking them up. He can feel the his back and the tattered remains of his jersey getting wet too from Obi-Wan's tears, but doesn't care about that either. He can feel waves of sympathy and caring coming from the Jedi, and he dives into them, soaking them up.]

[Suddenly, he realizes where he is. And what's going on. He breaks free from Obi-Wan's embrace and looks at him coldly.]

Anakin: Don't tell anyone about this. Understand?

[Obi-Wan nods, rubbing his eyes with a corner of his sleeve. Anakin gets up and leaves. Obi-Wan watches him leave, and doesn't get up until he hears the door slam. He gets up, smiles, then starts doing the dishes from supper. Across the hall JeSi has put on the latest tune from TLJ: "No Sith." Obi-Wan sings along with the popular song quietly as he scrubs.]

[Anakin quickly shuts the door to his apartment, then leans on it and slowly slides to the ground. Had he... he'd actually hugged that rat-tail-braid Padawan! And CRIED on him! He feels a bad taste in his mouth that the knew only beer can quench. Down the hall someone has put on some loud music, one of the newer songs that is so overplayed. Anakin looks around for beer, but there are only the empty bottles laying around. Sighing, he gets up and heads out to Chewie's.]

[Chewie's: Anakin stumbles in, and surveys the scene. He spots Padmé sitting at the bar, but he also notices Sidious, Yoda, Windu and Qui-Gon shooting pool. He pointedly ignores them.]

Anakin: Hey, wanna play darts?
Padmé: [shrugs] Yeah, sure.

[They steal the darts from behind the bar. Anakin takes all three of his and throws them at the wall. One nearly hits the board, one sticks into the wall, and one bounces off a table. Padmé looks at him. She notices his red eyes.]

Padmé: Have you been... crying?
Anakin: N-No! What makes you see that?
Padmé: Nothing.

[She takes her three shots. Anakin "accidentally" throws most of his darts in the general vicinity of the pool table. Padmé is studying him.]

Anakin: What? What are you looking at?
Padmé: You have been crying, haven't you?
Anakin: NO!
Padmé: And you've got tear tracks down the back of your jersey.
Anakin: What are you talking about? No smegging way! I did not cry! And Smeghead Padawan did not cry on me... aw, crap!

[Padmé looks at him in surprise. She tries to hold it back, but can't, and bursts out laughing. He glares at her and storms out of the bar. A couple minutes after he leaves, Obi-Wan comes in. Padmé sees him and starts laughing. Obi-Wan glances at her, but doesn't say anything. He walks over to the pool table and grabs the back of Qui-Gon's robe. He then proceeds to drag his Master back to Melrose Naboo, up the stairs and into the main hallway to their rooms. He stops at Anakin's door. Qui-Gon, who has been in shock over his apprentice's behaviour, breaks his silence.]

Qui-Gon: Obi-Wan, what the hell are you doing?

[Obi-Wan knocks on the door. Anakin answers. Without a word, Obi-Wan Force-blasts him into the couch. He pushes Qui-Gon into the apartment.]

Obi-Wan: You two are going to talk!! And I'm not letting you out until you do!

[The young Padawan slams the door, leaving Qui-Gon and Anakin inside.]

THE END

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