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Obi-Wan: You talked?
Qui-Gon: Yes.
[Qui-Gon walks down the hallway to his own apartment. Obi-Wan loks into Anakin's place. Anakin sits on his chair with his arms folded across his chest. He looks tired.]
Obi-Wan: Um...
Anakin: Not now. Please, Obi-Wan.
[Obi-Wan nods and closes the door. He goes into his tidy apartment, and starts to make himself a snack.]
Obi-Wan: Um, just a minute! Heh...
[The door unlocks itself and opens. In steps Qui-Gon. He looks very tired and has black lines under his eyes. He looks at Obi-Wan's state of dress in surprise.]
Qui-Gon: Uh... am I interrupting something?
Obi-Wan: Er, no! I mean... I was meditating!
[Qui-Gon nods, amused.]
Obi-Wan: Master...
Qui-Gon: All right, I believe you. I have to go to Tatooine
[ignores Obi-Wan's look of shock] on OFFICIAL COUNCIL BUSINESS this
time! Even so, please don't tell Ani. He doesn't need to know. It'll
probably hurt him more.
Obi-Wan: Um... if I may ask, what happened in there? I mean...
it was rather quiet...
[Qui-Gon laughs, and shakes his head.]
Qui-Gon: Oh, nothing you need worry your little braid over. Now if you'll excuse me, I've got to pack.
Obi-Wan: If I just knew what happened in here...
Padmé: Do you have a feather?
Obi-Wan: What? No. Dammit, this is serious! Qui-Gon's on Tatooine
again!
Padmé: What??
Obi-Wan: He said he had official Council business... but he always
says he has official Council business there!
Padmé: We can't tell him. It'll destroy him.
[Obi-Wan nods. He bites his lip, and starts blinking. Padmé looks at him, then her eyes widen.]
Padmé: Obi-Wan... are you CRYING?
Obi-Wan: [sniffles] Yes!
[He breaks down, sobbing. Padmé shakes her head.]
Padmé: What's with you? Why is it all you do is cry all the time?
What happened to the Old Obi-Wan Kenobi? The one who fought Maul on
Naboo?
Obi-Wan: I was locked in the Wardrobe, that's what happened!
[sniffles] It's worse than one can imagine... Qui-Gon's making me
see a psychiatrist because of that... and then we had to go in there again,
and then this whole revenge thing happened, and now this... and...
[he bursts into tears again] I don't know what to do anymore!
[Padmé moves closer to comfort her friend. He tucks up, resting his head under her chin with his robes drawn tightly around himself, sobbing quietly. She puts her arms around his shoulders and rocks him back and forth.]
Padmé: Everything's gonna be all right. [Under her breath] I thought Jedi were supposed to have a handle on their emotions...
[The phone rings, making Obi-Wan and Padmé jump with surprise. It wakes Anakin up. He moans, rubs his jaw (smearing shaving cream on his face) and looks around. The phone rings again. Anakin gets up to answer it.]
Anakin: Hello? Oh. Hi... Mom.[Obi-Wan and Padmé look at each other. Obi-Wan winces and Padmé goes over to stand by Anakin.] Hm? Oh... yeah, everything's... fine. I guess. [He pauses] Big news? What?
[Obi-Wan braces himself. Anakin's eyes go wide as he hears the big news. His jaw twitches, and he grips the phone so hard his knuckles go white.]
Anakin: You're WHAT?? With... HIM? That tree-hugging hippy Jedi freak?!
[Anakin stiffens. His voice grows cold.]
Anakin: Hello Mr. Jinn. I wouldn't be coming back to Melrose Naboo if I was you...
[Obi-Wan blinks. Padmé is shocked. Anakin listens to the phone for a second, then slams down the handset.]
Padmé: What happened? What's the news?
[Anakin Force-slams Obi-Wan against the wall.]
Anakin: His smeghead Master is marrying my mother, that's what!
[Obi-Wan's jaw drops in shock. Padmé's eyes go wide.]
Obi-Wan: Holy shit!
Anakin: Oh, yeah! We're gonna be a happy family. Me, Mother-dear
and Jinn! [dripping sarcasm] I can hardly wait!
[Anakin and Obi-Wan stand nose-to-nose. Anakin can barely restrain the urge to strangle the Jedi.]
Obi-Wan: Hey, this isn't my fault! I can't tell Master Qui-Gon what
to do. Even if I do say something he'll give me the "I'm the Master here,
when I want your opinion I'll ask" [looks very unhappy] How do
you think I feel?
Anakin: What do you mean?
Obi-Wan: He can't marry without Council consent. They're gonna
boot him out of the Master ranks!
Padmé: Ani, isn't your mother still technically a slave? She can't
leave the planet!
Obi-Wan: [dismayed] Qui-Gon will have to move to Tatooine!
Anakin: Oh, that's just great! That will make my visit home for
Boonta Eve so much better. [He growls.]
Obi-Wan: Boonta Eve?
Anakin: Don't ask! Just don't ask! [Slams Obi-Wan back hard]
[Suddenly Obi-Wan's watch beeps.]
Obi-Wan: Oops. Time for my psychiatrist appointment.
Anakin: Your what?
Padmé: He has to see a shrink because of when you locked him in the
Wardrobe...
Anakin: What?
Obi-Wan: Yeah. I don't have much choice.
Anakin: Oh, so that's why you're such a wussy little smeghead!
[Padmé elbows him in the ribs. Obi-Wan glances at his watch.]
Obi-Wan: Anyways, gotta go!
[Obi-Wan leaves. Anakin slowly lowers himself back onto the couch, in shock.]
Anakin: What am I gonna do? Qui-Gon's gonna be my stepfather!
Padmé: What do you want to do?
Anakin: I want to find the farthest corner of the galaxy and hide so
I never have to look at them again!
Padmé: You know, you haven't heard your mother's story yet.
Anakin: Yeah. But I just can't talk to her over the phone. Not
when he's there.
Padmé: So don't talk to her over the phone...
Padmé: ... and then you hit "go" when the handshake is completed...
[Anakin nods absently.]
Padmé: ... the connection deteriorates, kill it by pressing...
[Anakin nods again.]
Padmé: Anakin, are you listening?
Anakin: Yes. Kill Jinn...
[Padmé sighs and dials the long-distance number for him and completes the rather noisy connection. An image of Shmi appears.]
Shmi: Ani? Are you there?
Padmé: Talk into this. [Hands Anakin a mic]
Anakin: Yes, hi Mom.
[Shmi notices her son's disheveled appearance. She frowns in concern.]
Shmi: Have you been sleeping well?
Anakin: Not anymore.
Shmi: Now, Anakin. I know this is... difficult for you. But...
things have been hard since you left. And then Qui-Gon stopped in one day.
He was on a business trip, but he wanted to see how I was doing. And one
thing led to another...
Anakin: [frowns and looks at the floor] Yeah. I know. But
he didn't need to go behind my back like this!
[Qui-Gon is visible in the background. Anakin tenses up. Shmi glances back, but puts her concentration on the screen.]
Shmi: We didn't want to keep it a secret. But a Jedi and a slave? If word got out... besides Qui-Gon didn't tell the Council, and if they find out...
[Anakin nods, blinking fiercly.]
Shim: ... it's nice t have someone here, someone who I can talk to about all this, who says nothing and just listens... [She looks like she's gonna start to cry] And now this... it's one of the best things that has happened to me. [She notices his blinking] and Ani, you know I love you. Nothing's changed. Except now you'll have a father, a real father... not some midichlorians.
[Anakin nods, saying nothing. Tears are seeping though his blinking.]
Shmi: Ani, please... don't let this bother you, it's...
[Anakin, unable to handle more, runs out of the apartment. Padmé blinks in surprise.]
Padmé: Um... bye Ms. Skywalker... I guess.
[Shmi sighs.]
Obi-Wan: Hi guys.
[Padmé looks at both of them and turns angrily to Anakin.]
Padmé: What the hell is this? You can talk to him but not
to me? Next you'll spend all day crying.
Anakin: Shut up! Both of you just shut up! How would you
like to have Qui-Gon for a father!
Padmé: It'd sure as hell be a lot better than a wimpering little
smeghead for a boyfriend!!
[Obi-Wan clears his throat. The bickering couple glares at him.]
Padmé & Anakin: WHAT??
Obi-Wan: I made a breakthrough at therapy today...
Anakin: What's that, then?
Obi-Wan: You'll see. Later. Now, what's with you two?
Padmé: He goes and talks to you about everything, that's what!
Obi-Wan: Yes... because in a way I'm involved too. That's what
my shrink says. He picks on me and stuff because most of what's happening
to him I'm involved in, indirectly.
[Anakin nods, tears rolling down his face. It's obvious he wants to go talk to Obi-Wan, but he stays put.]
Padmé: I see.
Obi-Wan: If you'll excuse me... [he goes off into his
apartment]
Padmé: Ani, is this true?
Anakin: [sniffles] Yes.
Padmé: Y'know, we should be able to talk about stuff like this.
Anakin: Yeah. It's seems like lately there's been so much
stuff going on.
Padmé: Heh. You're telling me.
[Anakin puts his hands on her shoulders.]
Anakin: Next time Qui-Gon makes my life a living hell I'll let you
know all the gory details. 'Kay?
Padmé: Promise?
Anakin: Yeah. Here, pinkie-swear.
[They grin and solemnly go through the pinkie-swear ritual.]
Priest: And if there is anyone who has sound reason why these two should not be joined in holy matrimony, speak now or forever hold your peace.
[Padmé looks at Anakin. He shakes his head and smiles weakly.]
Priest: I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride.
Qui-Gon and Shmi kiss. Everyone cheers, then heads over to the hall for the party. Anakin stops Obi-Wan.]
Anakin: Hey, you've been keeping to yourself a lot... are you ok?
Obi-Wan: Yeah. I'm fine.
Anakin: Has he told the Council?
Obi-Wan: No, he hasn't. Doubt he will.
[Anakin can't shake the odd feeling he's getting from the Jedi.]
Anakin: You're sure you're ok?
Obi-Wan: I said yes. Now let's get down to the party.
[Anakin shrugs, then turns to leave. He stops, then turns back around to face Obi-Wan. He puts a hand on the Padawan's shoulder.]
Anakin: Thanks, man.
Obi-Wan: No prob. [Smiles] Let's go.
