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Padmé: Ani, have you seen Obi-Wan?
Anakin: Mmm? [looks up from the TV] What was that?
Padmé: I haven't seen him for a couple of days. And neither has
Qui-Gon. He's been absent from his lessons too.
[Anakin sits up.]
Anakin: He's never late for his lessons. This is weird.
Padmé: Yeah. And he said before he'd help me pick out new
furniture for the palace. Normally he'll tell me he won't make it if he's
got other plans.
Anakin: And Qui-Gon has no idea where he is? That's really unlike
him. Little smeghead always tells everyone where he's going. Even when he
has to take a piss. Really.
[Padmé sits beside him, looking extremely worried. She puts her head in her hands. He sighs.]
Anakin: Well, if it'll make you feel better we can go look for him.
[Padmé says nothing, but looks a little happier.]
Anakin: He's probably passed out in a street somewhere again. We'll ship him over to Windu's for rehab.
[Qui-Gon opens the door. Anakin is about to say something, but stops when he sees the expression on Qui-Gon's face. He realizes that the situation is worse than he expected. Qui-Gon slumps on the floor, and stares off into space. At the sight of the Jedi, who the Gang looks to for encouragement and guidance, so overwhelmed by the situation, Anakin and Padmé exchange looks of fear.]
Anakin: Qui-Gon... are you..?
[Qui-Gon looks at them. He looks very tired, and has obviously been wearing the same robes for the past few days.]
Qui-Gon: Oh, well... have any of you seen Obi-Wan... heh... my little Padawan Learner, he used to dance and sing, like you.
[Padmé and Anakin exchange glances again.]
Anakin: Don't worry. We'll find him. I was just saying to Padmé that we'll probably find him pa - [Padmé elbows him] Ow!
[Qui-Gon nods to himself. He gets up. Still nodding, he leaves the apartment. He walks down the hall into his own apartment and locks the door behind him.]
Anakin: What, don't Jedi Masters cook?
Qui-Gon: Well, Thursday is Obi-Wan's turn to cook and I forgot...
[He sniffles and looks at his feet]
Anakin: You really miss him, don't you?
Qui-Gon: Yes... I miss doing all that apprentice stuff with him...
Anakin: [knowing he's gonna regret this] I'll do apprentice
stuff with you until he comes back or we find him...
[Qui-Gon looks up happily.]
Qui-Gon: Really? That'd be great! You've always been like a son to me, in more ways than one. And now that Obi-Wan's... [sniffles]
[The Jedi starts to cry. The torment and tension of the last few days comes pouring out. Qui-Gon shakes helplessly. Anakin, still uncomfortable around his new step-father, squeezes Qui-Gon's shoulder and lets him cry.]
Anakin: Tuesdays and Thursdays! Cooking days! Pluse taking out the trash. Organizing. All that other crap. No wonder Kenobi had to get therapy.
[He sighs. It's been 6 days and they still haven't found Obi-Wan yet. Then again, he's been too busy to look, with all his new "Padawan Duties." He's hardly even seen Padmé at all. And Qui-Gon has gone progressively downhill, and mostly just keeps to himself in his apartment.]
Anakin: That's it. [He throws off his apron and storms out of the kitchen] I am going to look. I don't care whose turn it is to blow whose nose! I can't take this anymore!
[He leaves Melrose Naboo intent on searching. He wanders around Coruscant aimlessly. Tiring of this, he goes back to the apartment building. Padmé sees him enter.]
Padmé: Any luck?
Anakin: No. I have to find him. It's insane, all the stuff
Qui-Gon makes him do. No wonder he's gone.
Padmé: Do you think... never mind.
Anakin: What?
Padmé: Well, maybe he's fed up with his training. Who knows what
his therapist has been telling him. Maybe he decided to get away from
it.
Anakin: Yeah, maybe that's it! But... where would he go?
Padmé: Maybe he went back to his old life. What did he do before
he became Qui-Gon's apprentice?
Anakin: I don't know. Come to think of it, I don't know much about
him at all. Maybe Qui-Gon can help out there. If we don't find Kenobi
soon, I'll be the one who needs a therapist.
Padmé: Maybe it's time we paid a visit to his parents...
Mr. Kenobi: So, you're friends of Obi-Wan, huh. What brings you here?
Anakin: Well, Obi-Wan's missing, and we wondered if you might know
where he might have gone.
Padmé: Yeah. Maybe he went back to his old life. What was he like
before he became a Jedi?
Mr. Kenobi: Oh, he was very well-behaved, very well-read. We kept a
close eye on him, so he wouldn't turn into one of those nasty
gutter-crawling delinquents.
Padmé: So... he was... good?
Mr. Kenobi: Well, as good as a teenager would have been.
Anakin: Oh. Well, thanks for your time!
[They leave the Kenobi home and wander around aimlessly downtown, carefully avoiding Jar Jar and Mace Windu's corners. Then they discover they're in an area of Coruscant they've never been in before.]
Padmé: Well, that's just great. We're lost.
Anakin: No, we're not.
Padmé: Yes, we are!
[Suddenly they can hear voices coming up from behind them. A stranger bursts into view. He stares at them.]
Stranger: Wol t'ka danu!
Anakin: Uh...
Stranger:N'ka das lum!
Anakin: Hi?
[The stranger coninues to babble.]
Padmé: C'mon, Ani. We'll look for Obi-Wan somewhere else.
Stranger: Kenobi?
Anakin: Yeah, Kenobi! We're his friends, Anakin and...
[The stranger runs off.]
Padmé: Wait! Come back!
[Anakin chases after the stranger, but to no avail. He walks back to Padmé, depressed.]
Anakin: He's gone. It's like he just... vanished.
[Dejected, they return to Melrose Naboo. Just in time for Qui-Gon to drag Ani off for robe fitting.]
Anakin: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Padmé: Have fun!
Qui-Gon: Any luck?
Anakin: Yeah, this strange guy, he babbled something, and when we
said Obi-Wan he ran off. I tried to chase him but I couldn't find him!
Qui-Gon: A strange man? That could be any alien on Coruscant...
[sniffles] My poor Padawan, in the clutches of vagabonds...
Anakin: Aw, do I have to get BROWN robes?
Qui-Gon: They're not brow, they're taupe.
Anakin: Taupe robes? Are they a riot? [laughs]
Qui-Gon: ...
[Anakin shakes his head, as Qui-Gon has obviously not heard the song.]
Qui-Gon: I'll have to speak to the Council about organizing a
better search.
Anakin: Don't hold your breath. You know and I know that those
lazy, doughnut eatin' old geezers can't get anything done. Look at
Clone #511. Yeah, the Council is a great help.
Qui-Gon: Anakin! As long as you are my apprentice you will not
speak badly of the Council.
[Anakin clenches his fists. He's getting dangerously close to losing his temper again.]
Anakin: Fine! You waste your time pleading to those useless fossils. I'm gonna actually do something for once! I'll find him myself! ANd if you were anything like the Qui-Gon I used to... know, you'd do the same insead of kissing Yoda's ass!
[He storms off. Qui-Gon stares after him.]
