| JeSi: A l0ng, |0Ng tim3 aG0 | |
| IN a GAlaxy far away | |
| nab0o waZ uND3R aN atTack...
| [A mockup of Naboo and a droid control station is lowered into the air
above centre stage. A ship is lowered into the air. Riding it is an actor
portraying Qui-Gon, and an actor portraying Obi-Wan] |
| & I th0ughT M3 & qu1-gON Jinn
| [The ship is lowered onto the stage and the actors get off and start
waving at the audience] |
| couLD talk th3 f3deRation 1nt0
| [Some people dressed as Nemoidians run in and start arguing with
the Jedi actors] |
| mayb3 cUtT1ng th3M a |1Tt|e slack...
| [The argument gets quite heated and shoving starts] |
| BuT The1r respoNsE, 1t D1dn't thr1Ll uz
| [The shoving gets very violent, threats are mouthed, faces are made] |
| th3y |0ck3d th3 dOOrz & TriEd tO K1|| Uz
| [The Nemoidians shove the Jedi back, and a door pops up in front of
them. Smoke starts billowing up from behind the door. The Jedi actors
bang on the door violently] |
| We 3scap3d Fr0m THaT Gaz
| [The Jedi walk out from behind the door, which sinks back down to the
stage. The smoke starts to clear. They step back a little bit] |
| then m3t jar JaR & B0sZ naSz
| [A ring in the stage rotates around, bringing actors meant to
portray the two Gungans. Rather they look like actors with big ugly awkward
Gungan masks on. The Boss Nass actor shakes his head and almost throws his
mask off. He points at the bongo, which is being lowered from the ceiling,
and shoves Jar Jar at them] |
| w3 took a bonG0 fR0m ThE sc3n3
| [The two Jedi climb onto the bongo when it's low enough. The Jar Jar
actor tries to get on, but his mask prevents him from seeing what he's doing
and he doesn't quite get on when the bongo starts to be pulled back up again. He
falls off, rips off his mask, then storms offstage. The bongo starts to move
to the other side of the stage, where the rotating ring has whisked away
Boss Nass and reveals Queen Amidala] |
| & we w3Nt To thE3D t0 s3E tH3 qUeEn
| [The bongo is lowered and the Jedi hop off. It's raised very quickly
back up] |
| w3 aLL w0und uP 0n Tatoo1N3
| [The centre circle of the stage rotates to reveal... sand! The ring
that the Obi-Wan actor is standing on rotates him out of the scene] |
| that'z wh3re w3 F0UnD th1z B0Y...
| [A small boy is seen building a sand castle. He looks up and
mouths "Hi" at the two actors. The piano stops, and JeSi picks up the guitar and starts
playing] |
| 0h my My, tH1z her3 aNakin guY
| [The ring between the adult actors and the boy playing little Ani
rotates around to bring a figure dressed in black with a familiar helmet] |
| may b3 VaD3r soM3 day laTer - n0w h3'z Just A Small Fry
| [The ring continues to rotate whisking Vader from view and bringing
a small Tatooine style house and a woman into view] |
| & hE |Eft hiS hom3 & kiss3D hiZ MoMmy go0dbY3
| [The boy runs up and gives the woman a kiss, then runs back onto the
stationary centre circle and watches the woman, waving, and the house
rotate backstage] |
| sayin' "sOoN i'M g0nna be a jeDi"
| [The boy looks at the Jedi, then at the audience. He waggles his
eyebrows suggestively] |
| "soon I'm gonNA bE a j3d1"
| [The Qui-Gon actor steps back, and hands can be seen fastening
something to him. The music picks up and several other instruments
are added to the song] |
| dId U know th1z jUnKyarD slav3
| [Anakin pulls a small object out of his pocket and tinkers with it] |
| ISn't 3ven o|d en0uGh tO ShAve
| [He puts the object up by his face and it nicks him. He ouches
and bleeds a bit] |
| But h3 cAN Us3 Th3 forCe, th3y SAy...
| [He points at the Qui-Gon actor and he's lifted into the air for a
bit, then lowered. The hands remove the harness from him. Queen Amidala
steps up to him] |
| aHH, Do yoU see h1m hIttIng oN th3 qU33n
| [You can see the boy mouthing "You wanna come see my room? It's got
a bed in it!" He starts dragging the actor across the stage to a door that's
popped up, labelled "Ani's room"] |
| th0ugh he'Z Just niN3 & sh3'z fouRT33N
| [She stops him and mouths "I'm too old for you." He shakes his head,
grins, and drags her behind the door] |
| yeaH, h3'z Probab|Y g0nna MaRry her somedaY...
| [The Anakin actor sticks his head out from the door and mouths
to the audience "Yeah, right!"] |
| we|L, i knOw h3 Bui|t c-3p0
| [An actor dressed up as the half-finished droid is pushed out from
the door flat. He eyes the audience, then covers up his crotch area with
his hands, cartoon style, and starts to shuffle offstage as fast as he can] |
| and 1 know h0w FasT h1z pOd can g0
| [The podracer is lowered quickly from the ceiling into the middle
of the stage] |
| & W3 w3r3 BrOk3, 1t'z tru3
| [An actor portraying Watto is swung over to where the Qui-Gon actor
is standing. He's got motorized wings, and is wearing a very heavy costume
with a mask that's obviously too big and heavy for him. Bits of the
costume's prosthetic keep falling off onto the stage below] |
| so we maD3 a wag3r or twO...
| [The Watto actor hands Qui-Gon some bet stubs and a receipt. One of
his wings breaks and is hurled across the stage, where it sticks into the
black backdrop. He is swung offstage, but bangs into the bedroom door in
the process. The bedroom door sinks back into the floor, and the Amidala
actor runs back and stands beside Qui-Gon, straightening her dress. Anakin
is dressed up in an old-fashioned flight suit. The Obi-Wan actor walks
from backstage to join the others] |
| H3 wAZ a Pr3PUbeSc3Nt flYiN' aC3
| [The little actor strikes a dramatic pose, then hops onto the podracer,
which raises back up above the actors' heads. An actor portraying Jabba
waddles onstage] |
| and thE minutE jabba started Off that rAc3
| [The Jabba actor waves a hand, and the podracer is swung speedily
across the stage, then out above the audience!] |
| we|L I kn3w Wh0 wOuld win f1rSt plac3
| [Several other podracers are swung out above the stage, then they
too are launched out over the audience, following the walls of the
auditorium] |
| oH y3z, 1t waz OUR bOY
| [The Jabba actor starts waddling offstage, but he trips and falls over.
Stagehands run to help him out] |
| w3 start3d s1Ng1N...
| [The Jedi actors, plus the Queen start singing along with JeSi] |
| My my, THIz heRe aNAkin guy
| [A familiar TIE fighter is lowered down, where it is swung very
quickly over the audience to catch up to Anakin's podracer] |
| mAy b3 vad3r sOm3 dAy later - nOW H3'z just a smaLl fry
| [The actor playing Vader leans over and high-fives Anakin, then his
TIE figher is swung in a tight turn backwards, and he falls off into the
audience. The TIE fighter returns to the stage and is raised back up] |
| AnD he |3ft HiZ h0Me aNd kissed h1z mommy GooDby3
| [Anakin's podracer passes by a balcony with a picture of Anakin's
house pasted over it. The Shmi actor leans out and gives the boy a quick
kiss as he's swung by. The singers stop, leaving JeSi to finish the chorus
himself] |
| sAyin' "sOoN 1'M gonnA b3 a J3d1"
| [Anakin stands up and holds out his arms, mouthing "I'm the King of
the World!"] |
| "s0on i'M Gonna be a j3Di"
| [His podracer is lowered and he hops off. It's raised back up, along
with the other podracers that have just finished the auditorium circuit] |
| now w3 fIna||Y GoT To c0rusCAnt
| [The centre circle rotates around to hide the sand. It brings several
seated actors dressed like Jedi into view. Amidala steps onto another ring
which rotates her out of the scene] |
| th3 j3D1 coUnci| w3 knEW w0ulD want
| [The Council members wave to the audience] |
| tO sE3 how go0d tHe boy could Be...
| [The ring in front of the Council rotates in to bring a large
thermometre-type measuring scale, a potted plant, and a standard mass-weigh
scale on a table, which the actor dressed as Mace Windu grabs] |
| so w3 toOk h1m tH3R3 & To|d th3 TaL3
| [The Qui-Gon actor escorts the Anakin actor over to stand in front of
the Council. The Obi-Wan actor looks bored and follows] |
| HoW h1z MIdiCHLor1AnZ w3r3 OFf Th3 SCAL3
| [Qui-Gon gestures at the thermometre scale, and the mercury in it
rises until it bursts out the top of the thing] |
| ANd h3 might fu|f1l| THAt PropH3cy...
| [All the Council members look at each other] |
| 0H, Th3 coUncil waz 1mpR3ss3D, oF cours3
| [The Mace Windu actor motions for Anakin to come closer] |
| CouLD h3 BriNg balanc3 To tH3 f0rC3?
| [Windu holds up his mass-balance scale and eyes Anakin. A couple
of the Council members stand up and go over to him. They pick up Anakin] |
| th3Y Int3rvi3w3d Th3 K1d
| [The three Council members cram Anakin onto one of the balance
plates of the scale, and watch it tip all the way over. A little light
flashes "Dark Side"] |
| 0H, Tra1n1ng They foRBid
| [The WIndu actor shakes his head, and the Yoda actor nods and stands
up] |
| b3cauS3 yOda S3nsed 1n him mucH feAR
| [Yoda addresses the potted plant, mouthing his "Fear is the Path
to the Dark Side" speech. The two Jedi actors stare at him oddly] |
| & quI-GON SaiD, "NoW |isten hEr3
| [Qui-Gon goes over to the Yoda actor and taps him on the shoulder.
Yoda turns around and looks up at him] |
| just sticK it IN Ur p0inty 3ar
| [The two mime an argument] |
| i stilL wilL T3ach thIz boy"
| [Yoda makes the "what-ever" gesture, and scuttles back to his seat] |
| he waz siNG1n'...
| [The Qui-Gon actor goes to stand beside JeSi to join in the chorus] |
| my mY, thiZ h3r3 anAkin gUy
| [Anakin manages to scramble out of the scale. A stagehand hands
one of the Council members a wall chart] |
| may b3 VaD3R s0m3 day Lat3R - nOw he'Z just a sma|l fry
| [The Council member holds up the chart, and points to the pictures
of Vader and Little Anakin with a laser pointer, mouthing facts to the
Council who nod as one. He throws the chart backstage and makes his final
point, and the Council golf-claps] |
| & h3 l3Ft h1z home anD k1ssed hiz m0Mmy g0odby3
| [The Shmi actor waves from the balcony-house she's still on, and blows
kisses. Qui-Gon steps back beside Obi-Wan, who mouths something angrily
at him. Qui-Gon stops singing to start to mime an argument with Obi-Wan] |
| SayIn' "so0n 1'M goNna b3 A j3d1"
| [Anakin scowls at the Jedi Council, pulls out a list labelled
"People who have made me angry" and starts writing on it] |
| "soon i'm goNna b3 a j3d1"
| [He stuffs the list back into his pocket, and sulkily goes back
over to Qui-Gon. The Council waves and the centre circle rotates them
offstage. A Naboo ship is lowered from the ceiling on one side of the
stage. A ring on the stage rotates to bring the Amidala actor back into
view. The instruments stop, including JeSi's guitar, except the piano] |
| wE CAught A riD3 bAcK to nabo0
| [Amidala points at the ship and gestures to go] |
| 'Caus3 que3N AmidAla wanT3D to
| [The two Jedi and Anakin make "ok, ok" motions and hop onto the ship.
They help her get up. It rises, and the stage starts rotating! Their ship
lands in the stationary centre circle and they all get off. It's lifted
back up and away] |
| 1 fRaNk|y w0uLD'V3 |1k3d T0 Stay...
| [The rotating rings bring in a large army of poorly-costumed actors
portraying Gungans, and real battle droids. From the ceiling several
Naboo fighters are lowered, and they zoom around trying to shoot the
droid control ship that's been in the air since the beginning of the song.
A fighter is lowered, and Anakin jumps on. It's raised back up and swung
into the air with the other fighters] |
| w3 all fought in thAt 3p1c waR
| [Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan actors draw their plastic lightsabres and
start bonking each other over the head with them. The ships swing around
the droid control station. The Gungan actors throw blue water balloons
at the battle droids] |
| and IT wASn't long At al| b3for3
| [The battle droids poke the Gungan actors with poles] |
| l1ttle Hotsh0t Fl3W hIz P|an3 & Sav3d The dAy...
| [Anakin flies by the top of the droid control station, and cuts the
ropes holding it up. It falls into the audience. Luckily it's only made
of cardboard] |
| AND 1n the end s0m3 gungAnz dIed
| [Several Gungans fall over, right on cue] |
| s0m3 sh1Ps bleW up & soMe PI|OtZ fr1ed
| [Several ships explode, right on cue, showering the audience with
flaming shrapnel. Good thing the ushers have fire extinguishers! The pilots
of said ships float down in parachutes, frying some fambaa chops in nonstick
frying pans] |
| A loT Of F0|kz wERe croaKin'
| [The actors start making frog noises. JeSi shoots them an icy
glare and they stop] |
| th3 batt|3 DR0idZ w3re brok3N
| [One of the Gungan actors taps one of the battle droids. It falls into
pieces. Just the that ring of the stage rotates, knocking all the Gungans and
battle droids over as it whisks them offstage. The remaining ships are
being brought back up to the ceiling] |
| and tH3 jeD1 i aDmire m0st
| [The ring formerly holding Gungans and battle droids revolves around,
bringing an actor dressed as Darth Maul into view. He grins wickedly, and
pokes the Qui-Gon actor with his lightsabre as he goes by] |
| meT uP wiTh DaRth mau| & n0w h3'z toasT
| [Qui-Gon pulls off his robe and reveals he's wearing a costume
that makes him look like a piece of toast] |
| W3ll, I'm St1|| H3r3 & he'Z a gh0st
| [He hastily pulls a sheet over his costume. It looks like a large
piece of toast with a sheet over it. The ring he's on rotates him offstage] |
| 1 gu3sZ I'lL TRa1n thIz b0y
| [Anakin's fighter is lowered, and he jumps off and runs over to the
Obi-Wan actor, who brings him forward up onto the stage ring just behind
the apron. The Dark Side Guy playing the piano stops, leaving JeSi to
strum his guitar] |
| & i wAz s1nG1n'... My, MY, th1z h3re aNaKin guy
| [Obi-Wan ruffles Anakin's hair. Anakin looks up at him and scowls] |
| may b3 vad3r Some day lat3R - n0w h3'Z juST a sma|l fRY
| [The Anakin actor pulls out his list and writes Obi-Wan's name on it] |
| & hE l3ft hiz HOme, and kiss3d hiz momMy go0dby3
| [He pockets his list and looks up towards the balcony-house that
Shmi is waving from. Suddenly she loses her balance and falls into the
audience] |
| sayiN' "so0n i'm goNNa bE a j3d1"
| [A stagehand gives Obi-Wan a Jedi robe, which he drapes over Anakin] |
| "soon i'M g0nNa b3 a jedI"
| [Anakin looks up at Obi-Wan with starry eyes. The entire cast,
excluding Shmi and the frying pilots walks onto the stage (or is swung in
the case of the Watto actor) behind Obi-Wan and Anakin to join for the chorus] |
| We w3Re sinGin'... my my, Th1z h3r3 AnAk1n guy
| [They join hands and sway back and forth] |
| MaY be vAder soM3 day |Ater - NOw h3's jUst a Sma|l frY
| [The Vader actor picks up Anakin and puts him on his shoulder] |
| aND h3 L3FT h1z hom3, And kisS3d hIz mommy goodbye
| [Paramedics carry the Shmi actor out on a stretcher] |
| sayin' "soon I'm G0nna be a jed1" | |
