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Jack was the last who came to the planet. The Stargate closed behind him and he walked towards the others.
"OK...what next?", asked Daniel and looked at the horizon. They didn't see anything else than sand. It was all around them.
"Let's go to that hill", said Sam and show the hill next to the Stargate. They left the Stargate and climbed to the top of the hill.
"This planet is very sandy", said Teal'c.
"Hey, look at that. What is it?", Jack looked down the hill.
"It's kind of circle, sir" Sam guessed.
"Oh...really? Thanks, Carter. I didn't know that!" Jack smiled.
"You're welcome, sir", answered Carter.
"Let's go. I want see it closer", Daniel went down the hill.
"Wait a second!", Carter shouted. The team gathered around the circle. They stepped in to the circle.
"Nothing happened...I think we should go back to the base", Jack said. "Yeah, sure. There is nothing in this place", Carter agreed.
"Hello again, welcome back!", Hammond greeted the team.
"Come to tell the report about in an hour", Hammond said before SG-1 went to glean themselves.
Sam wanted to get some rest and intended to go to the bed, but suddenly she noticed Jack.
"What the hell do you think you are doing?", Sam got angry. "Jack, will you please stop that!", she demanded. Jack was useing her make-up.
"Oh, hello Sam...Do you think that this green is my color?" Jack asked and put molecolor to his eyes.
"Oh my god...Is this a joke or something? Jack, what is wrong with you?", Sam asked. She called Fraiser.
"Ok, Jack. Come with me", said Fraiser as she saw Jack.
Jack left the make-up and started to follow Fraiser.
"Let's go girls!", he giggled. When they were going to the doctor, Hammond came against them.
"Jack, what the hell this is? Do you have make-up?"
"Jackie, please!", said Jack.
"What?...Doctor??", Hammond was very upset.
"Well, sir...I don't actually know that what this is. He uses make-up and...well, I know, that this sounds stupid, but I think that he pretends to be a girl", Fraiser stopped and looked at Hammond. He tried to say something, but suddenly Teal'c came.
"Hello, big boy!", he waved to Hammond.
"Damn, Teal'c...Are you guys allright? Stop that Teal'c! I'm not a big boy. Doctor, take them with you and check their brains!", Hammond commanded, turned and walked away.
"OK guys, let's go", Fraiser said and they left.
Jack and Teal'c were examined, but Fraiser didn't find anything.
"OK guys, I let you go, but if you feel strange come back immediately", Fraiser said.
Jack went shopping. He walked on the street and thought. I look terrible. I need a new dress or something...Maybe a new hairstyle. In the mean time Daniel and Teal'c sat in the base.
"What we can do here?", Daniel asked.
"I don't know, Danieljackson", answered Teal'c. Suddenly he looked at mirror.
"What the hell...Where is my hair? I can't believe this...", Teal'c shouted. "Hey, easy now. You don't have a hair. You are a bald, Teal'c", said Dan. "This is not true, this is not true...I can't be a bald. I don't want it!", Teal'c shouted again, "Danieljackson, I need your help. We have to do something!"
"Well, Let me see...Hmm...OK, now I know! You need a wig!", Daniel smiled.
"A wig! Oh my god! A wig...", Teal'c was in a shock. But finally, he assent. "Ok, I'll buy a wig". They went shopping, too.
"I want this dress, but is this the biggest size?", Jack asked the saleslady. "I'm sorry, but this is the biggest size", she answered.
"It's ok, but what about the yellow one?".
Fraiser came into the shop.
"Hi...Colonel? Oh no, not again!". They left the shop and started to walk to the base.
"Hey, look! There are Daniel and Teal'c! Hello, there. Hey I'm here!", Jack waved and knocked to the hairdresser's window. They went in.
"Oh, hello! Do you like my permanent?", asked Daniel. Teal'c tries on a wig.
"I like this red one", he said and gave it to the seller.
"Let's go guys", Fraiser said. Teal'c took his wig and they left.
Hammond and Fraiser put three guards to look after the team, excepting Sam.
"Oh my god, you are so strong!", Daniel said to the guard and giggled. Fraiser heard it.
"Don't care about his words, he is a little bit crazy."
Jack, Teal'c and Daniel sat one hour in the room, trying to flirt with guards. It didn't work. "Ok guys, it's time to drink hot coffee."
Jack tought his mug and tasted coffee. It was so hot, that the mug fell straight to Jack's dress.
"Oh no! My new dress", he shouted. "I have to take a shower!"
Fraiser left Jack in the shower. Suddenly she heard Samantha Carter. Carter was in the shower, too. But not in the women's side. She was in the men's side and there were men,too. Oh my god, what she is doing?
"Sorry guys! C'mon Sam, we have to leave this place, hurry up!", Fraiser said.
"Look, Sam. I want to show something to you". They came into the lab. Fraiser switched on the computer. Sam came close to Fraiser and put her hand around Fraiser's shoulders.
"You are a beautiful woman, doctor. Very beautiful."
What the hell?...Oh no! She is crazy, too.
"We should meet the others. Let's go Sam, before they get worried." Before I get worried.
Fraiser brought Sam to the same room Jack, Teal'c and Daniel were.
"You stay here, Sam !" Fraiser commanded and left.
"Samantha-" Jack said in a little voice.
"SAM !!!" Sam shouted. "Its Sam."
"Sam," Jack smiled sheepishly. "Do you have any make-up left ?"
Sam stared at him angrily.
"What do you mean any make-up left ? I dont use make-up !"
"No, no, of course not - But do you ?"
The door opened before Sam managed to give Jack an answer. Fraiser entered the room.
"General Hammond wants the report," Fraiser said. "We think that you are acting very strange, but you can still give him the report. Perhaps it would help us to find out whats wrong with you."
"So that you can heal us, sweety ?" Sam asked.
"Yes Sam."
"Wait a sec, if I become a man, Ill have to abandon my wig, right ?"
"Thats right mr Teal'c," Fraiser smiled.
"Miss Teal'c," Teal'c said looking hurt. "And Im not coming anyway."
"Well cmon, miss Teal'c," Fraiser inched. Teal'c shaked his head.
"No."
"Okay, you can keep the wig if you want to," Fraiser said.
"Thank you," Teal'c lightened up right away. He ran to hug Fraiser. "Thankyou thankyou thankyou !!!"
"Youre welcome, miss Teal'c," Fraiser smiled trying to get out of the big mans arms.
SG-1 were sitting in the meeting room. Hammond and Fraiser were desperately trying to make Jack, Sam, Teal'c and Daniel tell them something, anything, about their trip. But SG-1 didnt seem to understand it was for their own good. Daniel was colouring his nails, Teal'c brushed his wig and searched for a mirror, Jack was admiring his just-shaved arms. Sam was trying to move closer to Fraiser.
"Well then, lets start from the beginning," Fraiser said as she saw that Hammond was not going to ask anything else. "You came to that planet, right ?" Sam nodded. "What happened then ?"
Teal'c raised his hand. "Let me tell ! Let me ! -We saw sand. Lots of sand. Beautiful light yellow sand. Just like Sams hair-"
"Dont compare my hair with sand, you asshole !" Sam shouted.
"Sam !" Fraiser was shocked. "Go on, Teal'c."
"There were sand and sand and sand and sand and sand and-"
"I think we already understood that part, Teal'c," Hammond said.
"Really ? Well Im sorry big boy. So there were sand and sand and sand and then we saw a circle in the sand."
"You never mentioned about any kind of circle before," Hammond said.
"I know that, big boy," Teal'c smiled. "The world is full of surprises."
"Know that, but we dont need any surprises here in the base."
"What surprises ?" Mayborne entered the room. Hammond didnt seem to be happy about it.
"Mayborne." Hammond stood up to greet Mayborne. Mayborne gave him a grin.
"I heard that SG-1 are sick," Mayborne said. "What kind of sick ? Why are they here ?"
"Hello Mayborne !" Jack smiled and waved. Mayborne looked at him and seemed desperate. He didnt like Jack, he didnt like any of SG-1. They were always making fun on him.
"Colonel," Mayborne raised his hand a bit.
Daniel whispered something into Teal'cs ear, and they both looked at Mayborne and started to giggle.
"What is it girls, tell me too !" Jack went to hear Daniels story. Jack looked at Mayborne as well and started to giggle too. Mayborne shaked his head and looked at Hammond. Hammond stood up.
"Okay fun is over," he said. "What happened after you saw the circle ?"
"Do you have a mirror, big boy ?" Teal'c asked. Mayborne looked at him surprised.
"No I dont have a mirror, Teal'c. Can we please go back to business ?"
"Oh what a pity," Teal'c said looking sad.
"He asked you what happened next !" Mayborne said to Teal'c.
"Stay out of this !!! Stay out of this !!!" Daniel covered his face with his hands and shouted.
"Doctor Jackson ?" Hammond was worried.
"Dana," Daniel said. "Dana Jackson."
"Okay-Dana-can you tell us what happened after you saw the circle ?"
"No. That man hurt me." Daniel indicated Mayborne. "He has to apologize."
Hammond looked at Mayborne and shrugged.
"Im sorry, Dana," Mayborne said.
"Not like that. Go on your kneels !"
Mayborne were on his kneels infront of Daniel as Fraiser suddenly stood up.
"General, I think I might know how to help them."
Mayborne stood up. Hammond looked at Fraiser.
"Tell us, doctor !"
"If they became-strange-after they had went into the circle, maybe they come back to normal if they go into that circle again."
Hammond nodded quickly.
"At least we have to try."
"Chevron seven is locked-Wormhole established," said the technician sitting infront of the computer.
"SG-1, you have a go," Hammond said. "Bring them back normal, doctor."
"Yes sir," Fraiser said. She turned to SG-1. "Lets go. And Teal'c, put that lipstick away-Orange is not your color."
They came out of the stargate, and Fraiser saw that Teal'c was not lying.
"This planet really is sandy," Fraiser revealed.
"Yes !" Teal'c smiled. "Sand and sand and sand and sand and sand !"
"Thats right ! But lets find the circle now."
"Its there, baby," Sam said and came closer to Fraiser.
"Well then lets go there," Fraiser smiled and started to walk.
"Catch me Jackie !" Teal'c shouted and started to run away from Jack. Jack followed him, and Daniel ran behind them shouting something like 'wait for me girls'.
"Well finally were alone, sweetheart," Sam smiled and put her arm around Fraisers shoulders.
"Yeah, all I ever fished for," Fraiser grinned and pushed Sam away.
"Come back-girls !" Fraiser shouted as they reached the circle. Teal'c, Jack and Daniel came.
"Well go ahead, enter it," Fraiser said.
"All that I do I do it for you," Sam said to Fraiser and took Daniels hand. SG-1 kept each others hands as they entered the circle.
They walked out of it back normal. Teal'c took his wig off.
"What is this ? I have never seen things like this on Chulak."
"This is a wig," Jack explained. "You use it if you dont have hair."
"So it is a kind of hat ?"
"A kind of."
"Oh my god !" Daniel shouted.
Sam, Jack, Teal'c and Fraiser ran to see whats going on.
"Look at my hair !"
Sam grinned. "Its beautiful."
Jack stared at his clothes.
"Is this-a dress that Im wearing ?" he finally asked. "Doc, what happened here ?" Fraiser was just going to answer, as Jack noticed he had shaved his legs.
"Oh for cryin' out loud, what is it ???"
Sam just stood there grinning.
"By the way, Daniel," she asked. "What mark of nail polish do you have ?"
The End.
