Lina watched in horror as Rezo rose from his chair. He smiled that same evil smile he always possessed; his eyes wielded shut by his own blindness.

“Y- You can’t be Rezo!! Rezo is dead, DEAD!!” Lina screamed.

“Heh, you are correct in your assumption, Miss Inverse. I am not Rezo” the Rezo look-a-like answered.

“Who are you then?” Lina asked, preparing to fight.

“Oh I know who he is!” Gourry interrupted. “He’s that guy who always chases after the Smurfs with his cat!”

Lina whacked Gourry on the top of the head. “Gourry, from now on you’re not allowed to speak unless you’ve been spoken to.” Lina turned away from Gourry. “And I don’t think that’s gonna happen anytime soon.”

“Why not?” Gourry asked.

“Because MOST NORMAL people don’t talk to brick walls!” Lina answered.

“Enough of this foolishness.” The Rezo lookalike began morphing into another entity. He took the form of the late Zelgadis. “As you can see, Miss Inverse, I have the ability to take the form of any being I wish. From my planet, that is one of the powers that we possess. We also possess the power to clip our toenails without clippers. And my own personal ability is that I can change my underwear without taking off my pants.”

“Wow, you actually change your underwear?” Gourry asked. “I should start doing that.”

“That’s great, I’m very proud of you.” Lina said. “Now tell me why this spaceship took the sword of light and turned Gourry here into a half robot and sent him out to kill me.”

“Well, actually, let me introduce myself first.” The alien took the form of a big chicken. “This is my true form. My name is Gobbles. I come from planet KFC-64. The reason I took the sword of light is a very long story, Miss Inverse. I need your help.”

“MY help?” Lina was cautious. “What do you need MY help with?”

Gobbles looked at Lina directly in the eyes. “There are things in this universe that you humans have no concept of.” Gobbles stroked the feathers on his face. “On my many voyages through space I have encountered species and things you could never imagine. Actually, my most favorite voyage was the voyage to the planet of the naked double-D cup women, but that’s beside the point. Just recently my ship accidentally flew into a black hole. I realized that I hadn’t gone to the bathroom in two weeks so I immediately had to leave the control center on my ship to hurry off to the restroom. After about three hours of ridding myself of my bodily wastes, I returned to the control room to find that my ship was caught in the gravitational pull of a black hole…”

“I have a black hole! Wanna see?” Gourry blurted out.

“Not that kind of black hole, idiotic earth-creature…” Gobbles the huge chicken said with disgust. “A black hole is a collapsed star with so much gravitational force, nothing can escape from it, not even light.”

“So you’re saying you flew into this thing?” Lina asked.

“Yes, Miss Inverse.” Gobbles’ eyes filled with determination. “And against all odds, my ship and I survived being sucked into this endless void… but not without consequences…” Gobbles paced back and forth. “The black hole shot me through time…. Hundreds of years into the future from whence I came. Now I’m stuck here, with all my family and friends left in the past. I MUST return to my own time!”

“Okay, but let me ask you a few things…” Lina put her hands on her hips. “Why did you take the form of Rezo and Zelgadis and other people I once knew? And how did you know my name? And why do you need the sword of light? And again, why did you change Gourry into a cyborg?”

“Oh, that’s simple” Gobbles answered. “I knew who you were because I have cameras all over the place here and I saw you and Amelia and Naga enter my ship and you obviously called each other by your names. I took the form of Rezo because if I had taken my true form, as a big chicken do you think you would have really taken me seriously? And I turned Gourry into a cyber to try to get him to tell me where the sword of light is but it turns out that he didn’t remember what happened to it. Dying and being brought back to life kind of does that to a person. When he attacked you before in the junk room, I didn’t program him to do that. In his own stupidity he programmed himself to do that. And I need the sword of light to help me travel back to my own time!”

“What do you mean?” Lina was curious.

“Well,” Gobbles continued, “I have been searching all through the galaxy for a force powerful enough to create an artificial black hole. The sword of light was picked up by the scanners on my ship, so I traveled to Earth. So now I need you to teach me how to use the damn thing so I can get out of this damn point in time and back to where I belong!!”

“That’s a very interesting story, Mr. Chicken.” Lina said slyly. “But why should I bother to help you?”

Gobbles smiled. “Very well, miss Lina, if you help me I’ll give you the sword of light to do whatever you feel like doing with. I have no further use for it after I create an artificial black hole and get back to my own time.”

“Guys, I’m telling you!” Gourry interrupted. “I have my own black hole. If you just let me take off my clothes I can show you and…”

Lina kicked Gourry in the face chipping away pieces of his teeth in the process. “Shut UP Gourry!!!!” Lina screamed.

Lina turned back to Gobbles. “Okay, I like that idea. The sword of light with finally be mine!! I’ll be unstoppable! You’d better not double cross me, you ugly chicken!”

“I believe I’m the one who has the most to fear about being double crossed…” Gobbles rolled his eyes. “Let us not waste anymore time then.” With that, Gobbles pushed a button on the control panel in front of his big chair. The sword of light materialized with a flash of power in the center of the small room. “Take the sword of light, Miss Inverse. Once you use it to help me, it can be yours.” Gobbles pushed another button on his control panel. Amelia and Naga with the head of a rat materialized beside the sword of light. “I believe you’ll want your friends present for this amazing event.” Gobbles smiled.

“Oh MISS LINA!!!!!” Amelia, who was apparently healed up by Naga, squealed with delight. “Miss Naga helped to scoop my brains back into my head! I had no idea Miss Naga was a brain surgeon as well as a sorceress! I’m so happy, Miss Lina! Please give me a hug!”

Lina smiled a warm smile. “Of course Amelia, I was so afraid I’d lose you! Come here and give me a hug, you cutie you!” Lina opened her arms wide preparing for a hug.

“Yay!!!” Amelia yelled as she ran into Lina’s arms. Lina greeted Amelia with a big hug. “Miss Lina…” Amelia said with apparent pain. “You’re… squeezing me…. A little… too…. Tight…..” Suddenly, Amelia’s head popped open again and her brains splattered on the walls of the control room. Lina let Amelia’s body drop to the ground with a thud.

“Okay, chicken-boy, lets get this thing over with.” Lina reached out and grabbed the sword of light, which was still floating in the middle of the control room.

She held the sword in her hands and felt the sheer power flow through her veins knowing she now owned what was one of the most powerful weapons in the universe.

“Hey, Lina…” Gourry started. “Can I have the sword of light back instead of you keeping it? It used to be mine, you know.”

Lina looked over at Gourry. “You died once already so you have no say in any of these matters, so why don’t you just go to hell.”

Gobbles held a strange device in his hand. “Okay, Miss Inverse…” Gobbles began, “I want you to focus the energy of the sword at this device. It will amplify the power of the sword of light and convert it into gravitational energy. If my theory is correct, once you fill it with the limitless power of the sword of light, it will convert the power to a mini black hole sucking this ship through it and shooting me back through time.”

“I gotcha, chicken head.” Lina answered. “I’ll just perform the Giga-Slave spell again and focus it at that little control device in your hand there, ‘kay?”

“NOOO LINA INVERSE!!!!” Naga with the head of a rat screamed in terror. “You’ll kill us all this time you stupid sorceress!”

Lina glanced at Naga. “Shut up you balloon-chested rodent.” Lina closed her eyes and began the spell. “Darkness beyond black as pitch, deeper than the deepest night…” The sword began to turn into a dark energy that neither absorbed nor reflected light. “King of Darkness who shines like gold upon the sea of chaos! I call upon thee and swear myself to thee! Let the fools who stand before us be destroyed by the power that you and I possess! Sword, accept this darkness and obey my command!” Naga watched in fear as Lina pointed the swords dark energy to Gobbles’ little square device. “GIGA SLAAAAAAAVE!!!!!” Lina screamed out with absolute power.

“Lina!” Gourry tried to shout over the wind and power that had begun to circle everyone as the full force of the Giga Slave was now in effect “Since we’re on this spaceship now, won’t we be brought back through time too??!!!”

Lina had a look of shock and realization as the dark power circled her and the sword. “Oh my God, he’s right. That Son of a bi….” Lina was suddenly drowned out by the noise.

Reacting with the power from the sword of light, Gobbles’ little square device opened up a rip in the very fabric of space and time. The walls of the ship bent inwards, turning themselves inside out. Although only a second of time was passing, it felt like an eternal struggle. The matter surrounding them was no longer matter. Instead it converted itself into more of an energy that was slowly disappearing. No one was sure exactly what was going on, but they could feel the environment around them disintegrate and finally disappear. They themselves were no longer composed of matter, they had converted into energy, a dark lightless energy that fell back upon itself. The spaceship no longer existed, Lina, Gourry, Amelia, Naga, and Gobbles had shot backwards through time with the force of a collapsing star. They no longer existed in time.

Lina stared at Naga, refusing to blink for even a moment. For if Lina blinked, the last piece of meat on her plate would be snatched up by the big busted sorceress sitting across from her.

“Really, Lina… you know that last piece of meat is rightfully mine.” Naga said with determination.

“Heh heh, I don’t think so, Naga” Lina said with a witty smile. “I bought you this dinner, therefore, the last piece of meat should belong to me.” Lina glared.

Suddenly Lina felt as if a surge of power went through her, almost as if she was struck by lightning. She grasped the edge of the table and tried to take a deep breath.

“Um, if you two are done…” A waiter from the restaurant said to Lina and Naga, “We really need this table for other customers. You two have been sitting here for three hours now just looking at each other.” The waiter smiled nervously, sweat poured from his forehead.”

Lina looked over at Naga. “Naga, what happened? Where are we?”

Naga who apparently was also struck by a painful sensation tried to speak. “I don’t know…”

The waiter looked at the two strange girls sitting at the table. “Um, apparently you two are having a PMS attack or something so I’ll come back later….” The waiter ran off to hide.

“Naga… I think something just happened. I feel so different.” Lina began to catch her breath. “Feels like I went through hell and back.”

“Or through time and back.” Naga replied. With that remark both Naga and Lina looked at each other, almost as if they were remembering something that had never happened.

“Talk about Déjà vu!” Lina said. “I could have sworn that you used to have a rat-head sometime in the past.”

“WHAT? ME, with the head of a rat???” Naga blurted out with anger. “Don’t be silly, Lina Inverse!” Naga rubbed her hand across the smooth skin on her face. “My beauty will never be diminished by the disgusting whiskers of a rodent! You are just jealous that my beauty is so much greater than yours, Lina Inverse!! AHH HA HA HA!”

Lina, who also seemed to have gotten over the bolt of pain from a moment ago answered, “You don’t have beauty! All you’ve got is a big chest!” Lina grabbed the last piece of meat on the table and swallowed it whole, without chewing.

“LINA INVERSE!!” Naga screamed. “Now you will pay!!!”

“Ya gotta catch me first.” Lina darted out of her chair and zoomed out of the restaurant leaving a trail of dust.

“Come back Lina! I’m not going to pay the bill this time!!!” Naga chased after Lina.

The waiter watched as both of them ran out of the restaurant. He didn’t care that they didn’t pay their bill, he was just happy those little walking forces of destruction were gone. He walked over to the doorway and looked up towards the sky. “Thank God the restaurant didn’t get blown up…” He noticed a shooting star in the distance, turned around, then walked back inside.