APPENDIX V - THE LOST SHOW Here is a more detailed account of the events around the "missing" third season episode: "I'LL SEE YOU IN COURT" (#308). [excerpted from Playboy] This episode is now called "The Lost Show" by the producers, since they feel they lost control of it, and subsequently it never aired as scheduled. The reason was the Fox network censors. Producer Moye says they had 15 censor notes on the script, meaning 15 words or lines the censor considered "too graphic" or "over the edge" or "offensive to certain groups." These were the things they'd been hearing from the censor all along--at the rate of two or three a script--but 15 notes was a whole new game. "We were gonna play ball," says Moye. They made some changes and sent the script back. The censor was on the phone. They made some more changes, caught some more flak. "It got to the point where we had given them all but four notes, which to us was bending double. We were really doing a contortionist job." Still, the censor wasn't happy. By the end of the week, they'd made 13 changes and "the integrity of the show was shot to hell," says Moye. The Lost Show is about sex. It begins with Peg and neighbor Marcy discussing ways to spice the Bundy's sex life. How about a change of venue? Cut to the Hop-On-Inn motel. See Al and Peg lean back in bed. Know they've done the wild--and as always with the Bundys, brief--thing. Later, we learn that Al and Peg were video-taped at the motel, as were Steve and Marcy before them. Cut to the courtroom, where Steve plays prosecutor in the couples' lawsuit against the Hop-On-Inn. Unfortunately for the Bundys, Steve screens the video tapes in court. Steve and Marcy win $10,000 for their multihour performance; Al and Peg's one-minute boogie is judged inconclusive. Or, as the jury foreman says, "No sex, no money." The motel's lawyer doubts Peg's claim that in their one filmed minute, she and Al had sex. Says Peg: "All right, it may not be sex to you, but it is to me. Just because you have husbands who can last long enough to time an egg doesn't mean that what Al does doesn't count... Is a crumb not a banquet for a starving person?... Is a fig leaf not clothing for the naked?" Now Peg's off the witness stand. She's being dragged back to her seat, and she's begging with every step: "You can't do this to Al! He'll lose what little confidence he has! You were great, baby! Please, oh, please, don't listen! Don't give up!" The courtroom clears. Al and Peg are alone. He leads her behind the judge's bench... The hands of the clock spin. Then we hear voices from behind the bench. Al: "Now, was that sex, or was that sex?" Peg: "That was SEX, Al", and she lights a cigarette and exhales a cloud of smoke... As this episode ends, the camera slowly pans to show a closed-circuit TV camera pointed directly behind the judge's bench... [You can find an illustrated transcript of the Lost Show at the Bundyology website - http://privat.schlund.de/bundyology] --==--==--==--==--==--==--==--==--==--==--==--==--==--==--==--==--==-- APPENDIX VI - BUNDYISMS The Bundy credo: "When one Bundy is embarrassed, the rest of us feel better about ourselves." [From CAN'T DANCE, DON'T ASK ME (313)] Al Bundy's xmas story: Twas the night before christmas, and all through the house, no food was a stirring, not even a mouse. Stockings were hung 'round dad's neck like a tie, along with a note that said "presents or die". Children were plotting all night in their beds, while the wife's constant whining was splitting his head. But daddy had money this year in the bank, then they closed up early, now dad's in the tank. ...and all of a sudden Santa appeared, a sneer on his face, booze in his beard. Santa I said as he laughed merrily, you do so much for others do something for me. Bundy he said, you only sell shoes, your son is a sneak-thief, your daughters' a flooze. Ho Ho Santa said, should I mention your wife, her hairs like an a-bomb, her nails like a knife. As he climbs up the chimney, that fat piece of dung, he mooned me two times, he stuck out his tongue. And I heard him exclaim, as he broke wind with glee: you're married with children, you'll never be free. [From IT'S A BUNDYFUL LIFE (part 1) (412)] Al pays the bills: Oh man we're broke, cha cha cha Everybody flat broke, cha cha cha Living in the gutter, cha cha cha Early grave, cha cha cha Alright now, everybody - shoot me! [From RAINGIRL (419)] Al's Gardening Song: Ol' McBundy had a farm, B-U-N-D-Y. And on this farm there was no wife, B-U-N-D-Y. With a no wife here, and no kids there, And a hooker coming over on Friday night, Big hooters with a pizza and a beer there, Old McBundy had a farm, B-U-N-D-Y! [From "WABBIT SEASON" (508)] "I Care" by Al Bundy: When hooters jiggle around, and I find nickels on the ground, I care. When a mustang engine purrs, and the bathroom is not hers, I care. When the pitcher's on the mound, and the wife is underground, I care. But when I've been playing this for days, I will kill anyone who stays, I swear! To which Peggy adds: ...and if you really want a scare, check out his underwear, if you dare. [From MYSTERY OF SKULL ISLAND (614)] "A man is a man all of his life, but a woman is only sexy 'til she becomes your wife" [Al Bundy, from RITES OF PASSAGE (616)] "At the Nudie Bar": Where the music stinks, and they water the drinks, the nudie bar. Where the girlies dance in their underpants, the nudie bar. Where you see their butt, and their trap stays shut, at the nudie bar. Where you can't touch a breast, but you can cave in a chest, at the nudie bar. Where you look at a thigh, and blacken an eye, at the nudie bar. Where the beer gives you gas, but the Bundys kick ass, ...at the nudie bar. [From RITES OF PASSAGE (616)] "Psycho Dad" theme song: Who's that riding into the sun. Who's the man with the itchy gun. Who's the man who kills for fun! Psycho Dad. Psycho Dad. Psycho Dad! He sleeps with a gun, but he loves his son. Killed his wife 'cause she weighed a ton... Psycho Dad! [From AL... WITH KELLY (501)] "Psycho Dad" new theme song: A little touched or so we're told. Killed his wife 'cause she had a cold. Might as well, she was gettin' old. Psy-cho Dad, Psycho Dad, Psycho Dad. He's quick with a gun, and his job ain't done. Killed his wife by twenty-one, he's Psy-cho Dad! "Psycho Mom" theme song: Who's the gal who needs no man? Killed him dead with the frying pan. Did it 'cause he missed the can. Psycho Mom, Psycho Mom, she's Psy-cho Mom! [From TEACHER PETS (621)] "Old Aid" song: We are the old, we've got arthritis Our gums are weak (so weak), from gingivitis We are the old, we've got arthritis We are the ones who wear bifocals, and have bursitis There are people younger, but we heed another call We really need the money, our accountants took it all We sing to you, those who have money Once we was cool, but now we just dress funny We need your help, so please please dig deep Don't call after ten, 'cause we'll be asleep We have medicare, and anti-gas pills But without your help, we can't pay our alimony bills We are the old, [they are the old] We have arthritis [they have arthritis] Once we were gods, now golf excites us [golf excites 'em] So write a check (a really big one), for our december There's one more verse, but we can't remember... [From ROCK OF AGES (709)] Christmas jobs for Al: With twelve days till christmas, your family got for you: 12 days fruit picking, 11 offramp selling, 10 toilets cleaning, 9 digging graves, 8 snaking sewers, 7 spearing rats, 6 training guard dogs, 5 giving blood! 4 crash-test dummying, 3 jobs roach-killing, 2 jobs dog catching, and one job santa-ing at the mall. [From CHRISTMAS (712)] Marcy's song for Santa-Al: Bundy the no-man, he's as bald as he can be. With the hair in his nose and rot on his toes, he's as bald as he can be. Bundy the no-man, he's as bald as he can be. He's into old age, making minimum wage, he's as bald as he can be... [From CHRISTMAS (712)] The Bundy credo: Lie when your wife is waking Lie when your belly's aching Lie when you know she's faking Lie, sell shoes, and lie. Hooters, hooters, yum yum yum Hooters, hooters, on a girl that's dumb. [From THE WEDDING REPERCUSSIONS (725)] More Nudie Bar sayings: Where a buck's enough to see their stuff, at the nudie bar. Where the breasts are fake but man do they shake, at the nudie bar. Where you swear like a sailor, and wish you could nail her, at the nudie bar. Where the cops are at the door, and there's a Kennedy on the floor, at the nudie bar. [From NO MA'AM (809)] "Psycho Dad" christmas episode: Who's that riding in the sleigh. Who's that firing along the way. Who's got the most popped on christmas day? Psy-cho Dad, Psycho Dad, Psycho Dad. [From THE WORST NOEL (813)] Al's "wife" chant: I've seen her from the front, i've seen her from the back. I've seen her in a chair, i've seen her in a sack. I've seen her stand, i've seen her crouch. I've seen her on her stupid couch. I do not like her in the mall, I do not like her in the hall. I do not like her in my life, I do not like my big red wife! [From HONEY, I BLEW UP MYSELF (814)] Al's High School Valentine poem for Peggy: I love your hooters, I love your ass, Let's say we meet after class. [From HOW GREEN WAS MY APPLE (816)] The New Adventures of Psycho Dad: Who is the tall, dark stranger there. The one with the gun and the icy stare. The one with the scalp of his ex-wife's hair. Psy-cho Dad, Psycho Dad, Psycho Dad! He's a durn good pa, but he hates the law. He's to eat it raw, Psycho Dad! Who's that ridin' across the plain. Who's lost count of the wives he's slain. Who is the man who's plum insane! Psy-cho Dad, Psycho Dad, Psycho Dad! [From KELLY KNOWS SOMETHING (823)] Al's Top-Ten list for Marcy: 10. Wear traditional Islamic garb covering all but the eyes. 9. Feather removing electrolysis. 8. Ski mask. 7. Sew up holes in ski mask. 6. Hire attractive woman to stand in front of you at all times. 5. Beak job. 4. Put paper bag over ski mask. 3. Shave head, tatoo Cindy Crawford's face on back of head, and learn to walk backwards. 2. Poke out eyes of every man on Earth. 1. Get President to make every day Halloween. [From "KISS OF THE COFFEE WOMAN" (1023)] --==--==--==--==--==--==--==--==--==--==--==--==--==--==--==--==--==-- APPENDIX VII - PROGRAM NOTES Kelly "The Verminator" worked for Pest Boys Extermination Co. (Est. 1993, 1-312-555-SCAM) Christina Applegate's birthday is November 25, 1971. Kelly's birthday was given in episode #704 as November 27th. David Faustino's birthday is March 3, 1974. Bud's birthday was given as January 22nd. Bud's middle name is Franklin. Amanda Bearse was born on August 9, 1958. Ed O'Neill was born on April 12, 1946. Al's birthday was given as July 11, 1948. Al works at "Gary's Shoes & Accessories", in the New Market Mall. The Bundy's home address is given as "9764 Jeopardy Lane", but at certain times the house number was also shown as "9674". Al, Peg, and the kids played on the "New Market Maulers" softball team, which is part of the twenty-store and under mall league. Peggy's maiden name is Wanker, and her family comes from the rural Wanker County, WI... "where everyone is relative." Al buys clothes at "Bob's Pre-Owned Socks 'n Stuff". Steve's middle name is "Bartholomew". Al's fathers father was named Jebediah Bundy. The voice of Buck the Dog was originally provided by staff writer/producer Kevin Curran. Al frequently talks about the football trophy he won in high school for scoring four touchdowns in a single game. Christina Applegate's mother (Nancy Priddy), appeared in episode #409. Peggy's bithday was given in episode #1116 as April 12th. The D'Arcy's Mercedes SL license plate is Illinois KDG 12 (#1101). The Bundy's license plate code is Illinois 61 CMS 2 (#1118). --==--==--==--==--==--==--==--==--==-- Here is a list of Bud's "alternate personas", from episode #803: 1993: Billy-Ray Bundy 1992: Joey Bud-afuoco 1991: Grandmaster B 1990: Indiana Bundy 1989: Tito Bundy 1988: Buderace Starting in episode #603, Bud decided to start calling himself "Grandmaster B" in an attempt to do better with the babes. Here are some of the names people called him instead: Abdomenizer B (723) Grand Marshall B Bass Master B Grandfather B Bed Wetter B Grandmaster Virgin Bellringer B Grandpappy B Butt-wagger B Grasshopper B Crossdresser B Grave Digger B Dishwasher B Grinchmaster B Dustbuster B Mixmaster B Gas-passer B Stairmaster B Grand Bastard B Thumb Sucker B Grand Flasher B Toastmaster B --==--==--==--==--==--==--==--==--==-- MWC producers/creators Leavitt and Moye have each made appearances in episodes, and several members of Leavitt's family have also appeared. Writers Larry Jacobson and Sandy Sprung were each in an episode as well. Christina Applegate seems to have had some of the most visible success of the MWC cast, outside of the series. She has had the leading role in two motion pictures: "Streets", made in 1990, and "Don't Tell Mom the Babysitter's Dead", in 1991. Immediately prior to working on MWC, Christina was a regular on the ABC police drama "Heart of the City". Her character was 14-year old Robin Kennedy, daughter of the series' star, a police detective played by Robert Desiderio. This show debuted in September 1986, and lasted less than a season. MWC staff members Kevin Curran and Larry Jacobson were both previously employed as writers for Late Night with David Letterman. Jacobson appeared in many comedy bits on Dave's show, and he has followed this up by appearing several times on MWC. MAD and Cracked magazines both have done parodies of Married With Children, in the 01/90 (#292) and 10/89 (#248) issues, respectively. MWC COOKBOOK: Pig Out With Peg, Secrets From the Bundy Family Kitchen by Peg Bundy (as told by Linda Merinoff). Avon Books, Nov 1990. --==--==--==--==--==--==--==--==--==-- Married With Children was produced by ELP Communications and Columbia Pictures Television (a division of Sony Pictures), and the show was taped on Friday nights at the following location: Sony Studios Stage 23 3970 Overland Ave. Culver City, CA --==--==--==--==--==--==--==--==--==-- Comic book: NOW Comics released a series of comic books based on Married With Children starting in 1990. Here is a partial listing of the issues: 06/90 First series (7 issues) 12/91 Second series (7 issues) 07/92 Kelly Bundy Special #1 09/92 Kelly Bundy Special #2 11/92 Kelly Bundy Special #3 01/93 Flashback Special #1: "First Date" 02/93 Flashback Special #2: "For Whom the Wedding Bells Toll" 03/93 Flashback Special #3: "Father Knows Best" 04/93 Buck's Tale Special 06/93 Married With Children in 3-D 06/93 WC 2099 #1-3 09/93 MWC Off Broadway 10/93 MWC Quantum Quartet #1-4 --==--==--==--==--==--==--==--==--==-- Syndication notes: Four episodes that originally aired on the Fox network were omitted from the 1991 syndication package. All of these were excellent and very funny shows, and all of them dealt with SEX... 39. 12/11/88 A PERIOD PIECE (301) 41. 01/15/89 HER CUPS RUNNETH OVER (306) 48. 03/12/89 CAN'T DANCE, DON'T ASK ME (313) 75. 02/25/90 WHAT GOES AROUND COMES AROUND (418) [Update: after several months of playing the same reruns, episodes #301 and 313 were finally released for syndication in May 1992, and #306 in October 1992.] --==--==--==--==--==--==--==--==--==-- Centerfolds: The following guest stars have posed in a less-than-clothed condition. Anderson, Pamela Playmate 02/90 Yvette (501), Cashew (523) Austin, Lynne Playmate 07/86 Sable (318) Brandt, Brandi Playmate 10/87 Herself (407) Carlton, Hope Marie Playmate 07/85 Heather (218) Fabian, Ava Playmate 08/86 Yummy (417), Honey (523) Hahn, Jessica Playboy 11/87,9/88,12/92 Ricki (612) Korn, Sandra Penthouse (?) Naomi (825) Lee, Luann Playmate 01/87 Fifi (322) Lords, Traci Penthouse Pet 09/84 T.C. (404), Vanessa (611) Mark, Heidi Playboy 07/95 (1008) Moore, Barbara Playmate 12/92 Dee Anna (725) Sloan, Tiffany Playmate 10/92 Carol (717) Speir, Dona Playmate 03/84 Photo Girl (311) Tenison, Renee Playmate 11/89/PoY-1990 Macadamia (523), Topsy (605) Weigel, Teri Playmate 04/86 Jade (218,221,312,509) Wild, Sandra Playboy 08/91 Fluffy (309) --==--==--==--==--==--==--==--==--==-- Spinoffs: In the spring of 1991, Fox started a new series called "Top of the Heap", based on two characters they introduced first in the Married With Children episode: "OLDIES BUT YOUNG'UNS" (518). The series was about Vinnie Verducci (Matt Le Blanc) and his father, Charlie (Joseph Bologna). Other cast members included Joey Adams as jail-bait neighbor Mona who is always chasing Vinnie, and Rita Moreno, as Vinnie's boss. It should be noted that Vinnie is a reasonable approximation of what a male Kelly Bundy would be: handsome and incredibly stupid. Charlie is similar to Al, in that life has not treated him well, but where Al struggles to get by, Charlie is a constant schemer. The pilot episode of "Top of the Heap" was shown as the second half of a special one-hour Married With Children episode. The first part was the show "KIDS! WADAYA GONNA DO" (519), in which neither Vinnie nor Charlie makes an appearance. The second half-hour is the "Heap" pilot, and had no connection at all to the "KIDS!" story. Al Bundy makes an appearance in a scene where Vinnie and Charlie stop by Gary's Shoes to talk to him. Al, it turns out, had bet on Vinnie's boxing match the night before and lost his T.V. as a result. At the end of the episode, while Vinnie and Charlie sleep, a masked figure enters the Verducci apartment through the window. The mask is lifted to reveal Al, who steals the Verducci's TV. Subsequent episodes would feature cameo appearances by MWC characters Kelly and Bud Bundy. The series was canceled after only a few months. The Vinnie Verducci character was later reprised for a short appearance in the MWC episode "KELLY DOES HOLLYWOOD (part 1)" (609). In June 1992, Fox once again tried to reprise the Vinnie character in the short-lived series "Vinnie and Bobby". MWC co-creator Ron Leavitt was partially responsible. The second attempt at a spinoff was the episode "RADIO FREE TRUMAINE" which aired on 04/07/95. This series would have focused on the activity around the student radio station at Bud Bundy's college, but it never even made it past the pilot stage. The third pilot-as-an-MWC-episode was "ENEMIES". It aired on 04/14/96. This show was about two people who share a small apartment with a group of dysfunctional "friends". --==--==--==--==--==--==--==--==--==-- MARRIED WITH CHILDREN Internet resources: Usenet newsgroups: alt.tv.mwc alt.fan.christina-applegate alt.binaries.multimedia.the-bundys MWC Program Guide home page http://www.nyx.net/~dnadams Sony Pictures MWC home page http://www.spe.sony.com/tv/shows/married/index.html Fox MWC home page The Official Fox Network MWC site closed in September 1997. an archived version can be found at: http://www.webtrans.com/mwcENG/mwcindx.htm MWC Homepage http://www.fortunecity.com/lavendar/monkeys/53/index.html or http://www.home.pages.de/~h.o.m.e NO MA'AM http://members.aol.com/eebell/nomaam.htm Bundyland http://www.zmall.com/misc/bundyland MWC FAQ site http://world.std.com/~tob/mwc.htm MWC Quotes site http://pluto.webbernet.net/~bob/mwc.html Bundyology http://privat.schlund.de/bundyology/ Lower Uncton http://www.keele.ac.uk/socs/ks38/grl/mwc001.htm Bundybase http://bundy.simplenet.com/mwc/ Big'Uns carver.holycross.edu/users/cl1999/acamarra/bigun2.html NO MA'AM http://www.lehigh.edu/~tjf4/no New Market Mall http://www.univox.com/mall/newmarket MWC Fan Club http://www.mwcfc.com/ Bundyco http://www.geocities.com/TelevisionCity/6565/index.html Bundyana http://home1.inet.tele.dk/n_fogh/bundyana.htm Alcyclopedia http://www.angelfire.com/ca/qtraxhb/index.html The Jiggly Room http://www.geocities.com/TelevisionCity/1892/ albundy.com http://www.albundy.com/ Windows 95 Theme http://www.geocities.com/~pmworld/married.htm Amanda Bearse http://www.geocities.com/TelevisionCity/4343/index.html German MWC site http://wwwzenger.informatik.tu-muenchen.de/persons/paula/html/mwc.html Christina Applegate links: http://famous.simplenet.com/christina http://www.geocities.com/~j-newman/christina.htm http://www.chicagocomputer.com/applegate/index.html http://www.greendome.force9.co.uk http://www.gamunday.demon.co.uk/capple/capple.html http://jason.simplenet.com/movie/christina_applegate/index.htm http://www.celebritypictures.com/ChristinaApplegate/christina1.htm http://www.geocities.com/Hollywood/Hills/6535/kelly.html http://207.137.170.43/babes/christina/applegate.htm http://204.140.242.11/FEMMES/CHRISTINA/index.shtml http://www.fortunecity.com/silverstone/cowley/3 http://www.informatik.tu-muenchen.de/~pohl/kelly/kelly.html http://www.fto.de/fthp/zanker/mwc/gallery.htm http://www.ozemail.com.au/~johnsonf/apple.html http://www.tiac.net/users/johnp256/CApplegate.html http://web.mit.edu/noraa/www/mostbeautiful.html http://www.physics.usyd.edu.au/~vlassis/kelly.html http://tartu.astronet.ee/ain/naised/applegat.htm http://www.scar.utoronto.ca/~96chungs/apple.htm http://www.johanning.com/holger/applegate/index.html http://www1.tpgi.com.au/users/ibrowo/tafenet/3617e/zolerick/apple1.htm http://www.jimsplace.com/jim/ca.htm http://www.rmi.net/jalmon/~chappg1.html http://calle.simplenet.com/ap-ch.htm http://www.coburger.deu.net/christina.html http://www.celebsite.com/people/christinaapplegate/index.html http://members.aol.com/fansite/index.htm http://www.geocities.com/Hollywood/Boulevard/7601/Christina.htm http://www.nakedbabes.com/goodstuff/applegate.htm http://www.geocities.com/Hollywood/Academy/6884/index.html http://members.tripod.com/~capple/ http://infinityrealm.com/capple/ http://205.216.138.19/~websites/jstevens/apple.htm http://www.fh-anhalt.de/gruppen/studclub/HOME/MAX/kelly.html http://members.aol.com/WGWalters/applgate.htm http://www.bestweb.net/~johnnym/chrstina.htm --==--==--==--==--==--==--==--==--==--==--==--==--==--==--==--==--==-- Note: you may freely distribute this guide in electronic form for personal use, provided it is distributed in it's entirety, and with all original author and copyright information intact. Any sales of this document are expressly forbidden, without the specific consent of the author. [ Season 11 Listings Complied by: Andreas Carl, Grail, Ralph Morse ] [ Copyright (c) 1997, Dean Adams. All rights reserved. ] --==--==--==--==--==--==--==--==--==--==--==--==--==--==-- dadams@netcom.com, dnadams@nyx.net { http://www.nyx.net/~dnadams } --==--==--==--==--==--==--==--==--==--==--==--==--==--==--