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Dr. Samuel Beckett felt the familiar tingle around him vanish once more, and knew
that he had materialized. He was precariously perched on a cardboard box in the middle
of a cavernous room. He struggled to regain his balance, and failed. He fell into another
nearby cardboard box, and twisted his ankle.
Sam got up out of the box and looked around him. Metal red barrels were strewn
about, and a clipboard was a few feet away lying on the ground. He slowly stood,
suppressing the headache he was getting from the fall. He judged by his view of a nearby
door that he was approximately 5'11 on this leap, skinny, around 170 pounds. He felt
tired, and also sores from the fall. He was wearing a jumpsuit, bright red, with a yellow
and black two-lined checker on it. "Gizmonics" was printed in block across the label, but
besides that it was stark and plain. He picked up the clipboard and read the order.
"From the desk of Dr. Clayton Forrester:
To janitorial staff: Several large drums of dangerous chemicals have been
knocked over in the main storage bay, and I need them for a new experiment in canine
perspiration. Please bring them to section D13 by 3-31-99. Thank you."
The work order also had a name printed across the bottom, and a comment: Joel
Robinson: Order overdue, please fill *immediately*. So his name was Joel on this leap.
Huh. He had a few scattered memories of Joel's past, mostly of tinkering in a small, well-
lit laboratory, building useful inventions. Sam started picking up the barrels, lining them
up on a roller, when a piercing voice struck a nerve in him, and he spun around.
"Well, well, Joel." The man in black seemed to spit his name, thought Sam. "How
are we coming on our little job today, hmmm? A LITTLE LATE, DON'T YOU
THINK!!" The fat man seemed angry beyond belief, but then he relaxed. "Just hurry up
and get this stuff to Deep Thirteen, okaaaay?" The man laughed an evil laugh, and spun on
his heels, holding his belly laughing, and walked off into a hallway. Sam was almost done
loading the barrels high on the roller when another man walked in. He was a bit taller than
Joel, and a bit stronger. He appeared to be witty and nice. The man walked up to Sam
and said,
"Hi. I'm temping here for a while, and I'm supposed to bring you this work order."
He smiled and started to walk away. Sam saw the name on his suit, Nelson, and marked
it. He may need that little bit of info. Sam turned towards the barrels to push them up a
nearby ramp, when the temp tripped and fell into the barrels. Sam dove for him, pushing
him out of the way as he rolled clear himself. Sam stood and spoke. "Watch yourself
around here. This place is full of little traps."
"I will. My name's Mike, by the way. Hope to see you around." The temp stood
and left, brushing himself off. Sam turned to pick up the barrels, but just as Mike left the
room, the static started to build. Sam felt the rush of electricity and saw the blue glow
enclose him.
Al walked into the waiting room just in time to see a young, full haired, sleepy
eyed young man disappear, and then reappear with a little less hair, and a weary look on
his face. "Oh boy." said Al. The man looked around a little bit, then seemed to realize
where he was. "Hey, I was here a few years ago!" Joel said. He appeared somewhat
relieved, but also cautious. "Dr. Forrester." Al stared at him blankly, and Joel sighed. "Hi!
Where am I?"
"You.... You're in the waiting room. Your mind has been switched with that of
Dr. Sam Beckett for a short period of time. You've been 'called out' of your time period
because of something that we have to fix."
"Huh. So, do you have Nintendo or something?" Joel said blankly.
"Don't you feel the least bit curious as to why you're here?" said Al. He was
fazed by this strange man's total acceptance of his situation.
"No..." continued Joel, "not really. I've been trapped in space for four years, I'm
pretty much used to being held against my will."
Al consulted Ziggy, but was disappointed to find that Ziggy was discombobulated
again. She said that Sam was trapped four years and three months in the future, on
something called the satellite of love. "Excuse me, where and when are you from? I need
a little background info for our files." Al smiled bitterly. Ziggy sucked.
"I'm from the year 2003. My name is Joel Robinson, and I'm from Wisconsin
originally, but I've been trapped on the Satellite of Love for four years." Joel stated.
Al just gave up. "Fine. I'll run that." Al walked out of the waiting room and
locked the door. So, Sam was stuck four years into his own future on a renegade satellite,
in the body of a janitor. Al couldn't run the program, he realized. Ziggy couldn't access
the future.
Sam felt the electricity vanish as he materialized silently. He was still in the body
of this Joel, but now he was in some sort of hi tech room. He saw three buttons in front
of him, a blue, red, and a yellow. The red button was blinking. He pushed it. Instantly, a
pair of faces appeared on screen. The fat man from the cargo bay, and a tall, skinny
scientist in a green lab jacket. Sam looked to his left. A gumball machine with arms and a
hoverskirt. To his right, a gold dog with a lacrosse mask on his face and long, spindly
arms and legs. To his advantage, he remembered their names from Joel.
He faced the screen for a moment. The people in front of him seemed to be
expecting something. "Uh, hi." He managed.
"Hi yourself, you little weasel-eater." The fat one spat. The thinner one glared at
him for a second. "What?"
"Anyway..." said the man, "Dr. Clayton "Firebrand" Forrester has been busy this
week, readying his new invention exchange." Sam took note of the man's name. "Larry, go
get the invention exchange."
As quickly as he said this, Sam vanished. He once more felt the electricity wash
over him, as he appeared suddenly in a dark theater. There was a movie playing in front
of him. "X marks the spot" flashed over the screen. He looked to his left... and nearly
fainted. Servo, the gumball machine, was seated there. To his right, Crow. Oh boy, he
thought, I just keep leaping into this same guy, and Al hasn't shown up yet. The two
robots made some comments about "is that like Mack the knife?" He tried to do his best to
imitate them, making jokes about the angel guy's fore head, but he was nearly exhausted
by the time Servo said, "Let's go."
Sam picked him up, as Servo told him to, and he carried him out to the right. A
long chamber stretched out into the bridge. Crow stayed behind. Good, he thought. I'll
have some time to talk to Al, and maybe get some info out of Servo. Sam carried the
small robot off into a smaller room where a Nintendo sat. He sat Servo down. "Let's play
Mario!" said Tom excitedly. Sam picked the cartridge from the stack and put it in. He
heard Crow in the next room rambling on about making a difference.
"Tom, I have..." he paused in thought. "... a lesson you need to learn. Tell me how
I got up here, and I'll tell you what you learned from that." Servo stared at him for a
moment, sighed and started to relate the tale. At the end, Sam struggled to think of a
lesson. "Tom, the lesson to be learned is... never trust the mads." Servo said
"Yeah, great, now on to Koopa" Sam was too busy thinking to play this. "Go
ahead." he said, "I'm going to my quarters to work on something." Sam stumbled off into
a hallway, which linked the playroom with the crew rooms. He opened the one marked
Joel and walked in. He looked around. Barren, sad things had been here originally. Plain
walls, a suspension bed. There were all sorts of inventions in here now, including the Big
Head, a patch of carpeting which had been ripped up to act as a painting area, numerous
Nintendo games, a small TV, etc. Sam was startled when the imaging chamber door
opened with a "Shoom." Al walked in, and the door closed.
Al was wearing a shiny silver suit with an astronaut tie, and moon boots. Not
funny, thought Sam. Al grinned at him, and punched in a few figures to Ziggy.
"What took you so long?" questioned Sam "I've been here for over a half hour, and
before that, I was in this same guy twice?"
"Geez" said Al. "Don't say Hi or anything. We've been having trouble locking on
to you. Your name is Joel Robinson, and you're trapped on the Satellite of Love. You
can't get down and a couple of mad scientists are driving you insane with horrible movies.
It seems that you're four years into your own future, Sam. We can't pull up any figures
right now, but we've been working on it. We've been trying to contact Gizmonic institute
to get them to install Ziggy links in all space craft, but there's no answer on the phone
lines."
Al jumped as Ziggy squawked at him loudly. "Well, it seems that they do have
Ziggy links. They're located in something called the load. Load?" Al jammed Ziggy's side
and smiled. "Load pan bay. You're going to have to get to it to read off Ziggy's input
from this point on. But we won't be able to tell you the future. Hold on..."
Ziggy squawked again. "We're... receiving input now... from an old recieving
station near the Gizmonic institute. It's been set up to relay a timed message which was
entered by a temporary worker there four years ago in your time...a month ago our time.
Hmm. It reads: 'Al: Tell Sam to input code 512 into the main database relays, under the
directory }C:\HEPC\7-4-2005.log{ . This is a dated entry with which...' and the entry
cracks up for a few lines, then says...'gypsy'...a few more lines... key turn...hexfield.' Sam,
this message also contains a work order from Mike Nelson, dated 7-4-99, and a piece of
paper from 7-4-05. It's apparently a time card, and Sam, it's signed by you."
Al watched as Sam glowed light blue and vanished. He heard Tina in the control
booth. "He's gone, Al. We can't get a lock on him." Al thought for a moment. Sam
wouldn't be able to input the necessary information into Ziggy until he had experienced
that particular time period and then gone into the past. Which meant that he was still in
the future. "Tina, scan dates 7-1-2005 through 7-5-05. Use the virtual simulator like we
did last time" Al was worried. Sam was definitely supposed to accomplish something, but
he had to find out what first.
Sam appeared again on the familiar satellite. He was alone in the same room, but
now something was definitely wrong. The doors were all locked, food set out for him,
and out the window he could see more satellites like this one lined up in order along the
hull. Sam jumped to a nearby ops station in his room. He noticed some scribbling on the
walls, scratching as well. He opened an operating system. "Windows 2005." It appeared
outdated and full of files. He hopped into a file directory, where he was prompted with a
login name. He typed in "Joel". He was immediately given a warning message. "You are
allowed only guest privileges for the SOL server, Joel. You know why." It was named
crow.wrn. He opened up the guest directory and found a long list of files. He opened up
the first of many.
"Dear diary: Mads shot me into space today. Had supper, made Cambot, went
to bed. Woke up, had to watch bad movie, ate, went to bed. Jan 1-2, 1999"
Joel's first Journal entry, noted Sam. He moved down the line of files until he saw
them marked by a green line. He opened the line. It said "Success! 7-11-05. Played 'The
Brain/Head that wouldn't die'! Joel cracked half way through movie. I locked him in his
quarters via shocks. I'm ordering more satellites which which I'll install mind-control
messages subliminally in all movies through 'Brain wouldn't Die', and when they crack,
they'll fall under my control! I'm the God, I'm the god! Hahahahahaha!!'
Sam was shocked. The data line was marked "drf.wri". He moved down to the
journal entry just under the line. He opened it to find completely insane scribblings.
'They don't have me! They don't have me ! Not gone, away hid some jello Gypsy
DIE! DIE! Tom, DIE! Crow, HIT! HURT! DIE! uhh. Frank is me and so is me and me
and DIE!!'
Joel had been driven totally insane by the Mad's experiments. Al! He thought, He's
walking into the waiting room with a mad man inside! Joel rushed to the locked door.
Outside, he could see Servo sitting in a chair. "Servo!" hissed Sam.
"Joel, Go back to sleep. I'm not in the mood." Servo turned to reveal a scar
across his dome. Sam thought quickly about how to get out. "Servo, I gotta go!!"
"Oh. Alright. But we're only going down to the load pan bay once, ok?"
Sam was relieved. The toilets were located in the load pan bay, along with the Ziggy
component! Servo hovered to the door, and as he released the handle, slipped magnetic
cuffs around Sam's hands. They walked across a lonely bridge where Gypsy stood at
attention and Crow guarded the door. He saw that Cambot's familiar spot was occupied
by a plaque. 'We shall remember him always' was inscribed in it. Sam followed Servo
down to the bathroom, where he found Ziggy in a stall, conveniently without her
motherboard.
Al walked slowly towards the separated hallway, which led alternately into the
imaging chamber or into the waiting room. He did an eeny meeny miney moe, and walked
into the waiting room, where he was leapt on immediately by an insane, wild eyed, long
nailed, bearded Joel.
Al snapped into Navy mode and easily flung the untrained Janitor aside. "Shield!"
he screamed. A blue fuzzy light hissed once and then appeared to vanish. Joel leapt once
more at the force field, and was shocked into the corner. There he sat for a moment, then
leapt to his feet. "What? What did you just do to me? I'm cured!" Joel cried. He danced
around for a little bit and then realized where he was. "Wait. I'm here... again?"
Al could barely hold back the questions. "Yes... this might not be your last time
either. I... I need some time to redo my questions, I'll be back in a while. If you want
something to eat, hit the big button under the table." Al, shaken and sore, left the room
and turned into the imaging chamber, where he found himself in a small restroom stall.
Sam was facing a Ziggy console cursing. He spun around when he heard the door open.
"Al! I need to get out of here! I'm trapped in Joel again, and he's gone insane.
Ziggy's gone!" Al looked at the broken panel and wiped his mouth. Hmm. He walked
through the stall to the Load Pan bay, where he could see the gumball machine. He tried
to walk up to him, but Sam was too far away. He went back to Sam. "Listen Sam, we've
got Joel restored to humanity back in the waiting room. I'll go back and check with him."
"Wait!" Sam yelled. Servo opened the stall. "Done yet?" he asked. "Yeah." said
Sam. He walked out of the room and into a lift. He hoped Al would get back soon. All
he had to go on was a bunch of Journal files. Something tugged at his memory, from the
last leap. Files? He tried to shift towards the memory, but the hole shifted with him. He
thought about Swiss cheese for a second, and suddenly he could remember a message. He
was deposited in his cell by a cautious Servo, who then locked the door firmly.
Sam walked over to the terminal. He was logged on from before, so he just
started right in on the files. He found the file from the experiment on 7-4-05 and opened
it.
"Dear Diary, The bots and I watched Mitchell. Gypsy acted strange through the whole
thing, and I found out why at the end of the experiment. The mads beheaded this poor
temp! All he did was get on their nerves. Maybe they could've shot him up here, but I
guess that there was no reason to. Gypsy told me that she thought I was who they were
going to kill. This movie has really gotten me angry. I feel like I'm loosing control! I
hope that the mads don't send up a really bad one next week..."
Al walked back into the waiting room just in time to see Joel smooth his hair don a
bit . "OK, I need to ask you something really quick. Where's the Ziggy link on the SOL?"
Joel looked confused. "The one that was in the load pan bay?"
"Yeah." Al looked around nervously. Something felt bad about this man, like
meeting someone who had died and come back. "Uh, hmm, I think I connected it to
Gypsy's alternate info pathway, in case her FTP option ever failed."
Al said "Thanks" and rushed from the room to the imaging chamber. Inside, Sam
was reading off of a computer screen. Al, nearly out of breath, breathed "Sam... it's... in ...
Gypsy's alternate... info pathways."
Sam jumped up. "Thanks Al!"
Al blew out a huge rush of air as Sam disappeared once more. Al caught his breath and
moved back into the waiting room, where a large purple robot sat inside a jumpsuit held
up by an invisible force, which was Sam's body that he could not see.
"Richard Bashardt?" the odd voice whispered.
Sam felt the sparkle vanish and looked around. He was alone in a control room,
with an odd feeling. He realized that he only had one eye, no arms, and flowed through a
tube into a control panel. He was Gypsy. Sam composed himself and remembered what
Al had said. He concentrated on his memory, and found what he needed to remember.
"...code 512 into the main database relays, under the directory }C:\HEPC\7-4-
2005.log{ . This is a dated entry with which...gypsy'... 'and relay message code 512 into
hexfield.
Sam mentally probed the database relays until he found a hidden directory called
C:\HEPC\. Sam opened file 7-4-2005.log and he was interrupted by a password prompt.
He entered "512", and found that he needed key turn access from Deep Thirteen.
Al was startled by the sudden appearance of this odd robot, but he tried to be as
nice as he could. "Hello." he said. "Have to leave, help Joel! Mads want to kill!" Al was
startled by the simple click from his mind. She thinks the mads want to kill Joel, so she
tries to send him away but can't figure out how. She gives up, and it turns out that they
were talking about Mike Nelson. So they kill him, and the next week, Joel flips out.
"Don't worry... uh..." Al struggled with her name. "Gypsy." She said. Al continued
"...don't worry, Gypsy, I'll get you back to the SOL. But you have to tell me some things
first. I'll be back in a few minutes..." Al rushed into the Imaging chamber and straight
into Sam. Sam had his arms stuck at his sides with no way to use them, like the robot in
reverse.
"Sam, what's going on?"
"Al..." Sam started, "I need to find out how to get key turn access from Deep
Thirteen. I think that Joel's life might depend on it. I can't remember any more from the
last few leaps, and this mental computer access thing is really starting to tax me!"
"It does." said Al, "And so does yours. From what you've told me so far, if Mike
Nelson dies, Joel goes insane, and the world is controlled by Dr. Forrester. The Project
might be shut down with you stuck up here."
"I need you to ask Gypsy what to do to get key turn access from Deep Thirteen."
"Okay, I'll try, but she's like a child." Al rushed from the imaging chamber to the
waiting room. He ran in and exclaimed, "Gypsy! How can I... or you... get key turn
access from Deep Thirteen?"
"Frank has the key." answered Gypsy, "But he won't let you have it! You'll have to
trick him, or get that temp to do it..."
"Fine!" shouted Al. He ran to the imaging chamber, where Sam was still waiting.
"Sam! Contact the temp in Deep Thirteen!" Al shouted. Sam used his computer
control to open the hexfield viewscreen. He typed in "Deep Thirteen", and just as the
screen opened, he leaped.
Al left the room, leaving Tina to find him. He walked hurriedly to the Waiting
room, where he expected to find some hapless soul. Instead, he found a man with blond
hair and blue eyes who said, almost immediately, "What happened to Deep Thirteen?"
Sam leaped into Deep Thirteen with a glow of blue and a shudder of electricity.
He realized that he had just come from the SOL, so he rushed to a console. He was in a
monitoring room adjoining to the main Deep Thirteen broadcast area. He realized that he
had to get a copy of Mike Nelson's time card in his photographic memory, but first he
wanted to see the fruits of his labors. He watched on the monitor as the trio left the
theater, and emerged onto the bridge. Gypsy must have gotten Frank to grant Mike turn
key access, he realized.
"Twenty seconds to expulsion!" Gypsy exclaimed.
"Okay, alright," Joel shouted, "we've got this letter to read. Let's
put it up on still-store. This one comes to us from --"
"Ten seconds and counting!" Gypsy interrupted. "Ten... nine...
eight... seven...."
"Gypsy," Joel pleaded, "can you turn off these emergency lights?
We've got this letter to read!"
"Sure," answered Gypsy. "One! Expulsion!"
With a short yelp and a burst of steam, Joel disappeared into the
floor. The lights and sirens shut off, leaving an odd silence.
"The hell was that?" asked Tom Servo.
"Yeah! Where's Joel?" added Crow.
"I can explain everything," Gypsy replied. "Cambot, quick, give
me Rocket Number 9!"
Cambot transferred visuals to the outside of the ship. A panel on
the back of the ship opened, and Cambot quickly zoomed in on it. Out of
the open panel slid a large box marked 'Hamdingers'. Then that box
opened, revealing an escape pod.
"He'll finally get to be among his own in the wild," sighed Gypsy.
"Hey, look!" Crow cried. "There's a prize inside that box of
hamdingers! An escape pod!"
The escape pod blasted off and away from the satellite, rocketing
toward Earth. Cambot suddenly realized there was an incoming message
from the pod, and he quickly put it up on the Hexfield Viewscreen. The
viewscreen irised open and revealed Joel inside the cramped compartment
with his knees pressed up against the screen.
"Hey, guys!" Joel exclaimed. "Look at me! I'm on my way to
Earth! Pretty crazy, huh?"
"Hey, what about us?" Crow said. "What are we supposed to do
with out you? Who's going to teach us what it is to be human and stuff?"
"Look, guys, by this point you guys know as much about it as I
do," Joel answered. Static began to drift across Joel's image, looking
strangely like confetti. "I don't have a lot of time. My signal's starting to
break up. I can tell I'm getting out of range. Listen, if you look under that
desk, there's a plaque I made for you to remember me by."
Tom reached under the desk and pulled up the plaque, which is
kind of amazing, considering Tom's ineffectual arms. "Yeah, here it is,"
said Tom, studying the plaque. "Nice job, Joel. Very professional
looking. Really nice job."
"Ah, yeah, thanks," Joel said as the static increased. "I really gotta
get out of here. I'm almost out of range. Listen you guys, be strong and
true! I love you! Bye!"
Joel's image left the viewscreen, and it closed.
"It's been a big day," Crow stated nonchalantly. "Who's hungry?"
"Not yet, you doofus!" Tom replied. "Let's find out what's on the
plaque. Press that button there."
The button was pressed, and Joel's recorded voice was heard
coming from the plaque.
"To all on the Satellite of Love, from Joel," said the plaque.
"Hey! That's us!" said Gypsy. The bots listened closely.
"The whole world is a circus if you look at it the right way,"
continued the plaque. "Every time you pick up a handful of dust, and see
not the dust, but a mystery, a marvel there in your hand. Every time you
stop and think, I'm alive, and being alive is fantastic. Every time such a
thing happens, you are part of the Circus of Dr. Lao."
There was a quiet pause as the recording stopped. Then all the bots
screamed at once, "WHAT?!"
"Circus of Dr. Lao? Oh, brother!" Tom ranted. "Joel leaves and
his last words are from a George Towns movie? I thought it would be
something profound!"
Cambot sensed another transmission from Joel, but Magic Voice
beat him to the punch. "Last transmission from Joel coming in on the
Hexfield," she stated as Cambot opened the Hexfield viewscreen once
again. Joel's picture was barely coming through now.
"Joel, buddy, Circus of Dr. Lao?" Tom said. "I don't get it!"
"Hey, it's my favorite movie! So sue me!" Joel said. "I gotta go!
Hey, see ya later! Sorry, I can't come back! I don't know how it works!
Bye!"
Sam watched as the communication broke off. The mads in the adjoining room
were fighting. He remembered the time card copy that Al had mentioned, and walked into
the room.
Sam, as Mike, stepped in between the two evil scientists, holding a card in front of
them. "You guys sign my timecard?"
Forrester began laughing evilly, and when Frank saw this, he joined in boss' warped
glee. "Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" Forrester asked Frank between chuckles.
"You're not going to sign his timecard," replied Frank, also in
between chuckles.
Forrester's glee was wiped off his face in frustration.
Mike added, "Come on, you've got to sign my timecard."
Forrester put on his best snake-oil grin and turned to Mike. "Of course I'll sign your
timecard, young man. In fact, I think you'll be working for me for a long, long time." The smile very nearly turned into a sneer. "Push the button, Frank."
Frank pushed the button as Forrester asked, "Say, Mike, what size jumpsuit do you wear?"
Sam realized what was about to happen, but just as a frying pan hit Mike on the
head, Sam leaped.
Sam leaped into Gizmonic Institute. He could feel it. The walls, the setting. He
was half-way through a door when he turned and saw Joel, the man he had occupied for
nearly three days, jerk for a second, then blink a few times. He bent to pick up some
drums and containers, just as Sam smiled and left. He walked up to a nearby access station and input a delayed message for one month, to Project Quantum Leap, Nevada.
"Al: Tell Sam to input code 512 into the main database relays, under the directory
}C:\HEPC\7-4-2005.log{ . This is a dated entry with which Sam will be able to open
Escape pod access through gypsy. You'll have to call Deep Thirteen to get key turn
access. Communicate with Mike through the Hexfield. Give my best to Sammy Joe.
And Sam Leaped.
