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PART 11
The man got up and glared at them, his sword thick with the thing's
blood.
"Great," muttered Joel, "First it was the psychic severed head, now
it's the guy who played too much D and D as a kid."
The man held his sword on them, warily. "Who are you?" he
demanded.
"Movie cliche number 14 in a series of eight thousand," said Joel,
"Everybody speaks your language."
"Part of my abilities," the Doctor whispered back.
"Plot convenience theatre," replied Joel. Ace dug him in the ribs.
The Maxx advanced on the man, claws at the ready. "I am the Maxx,
ruler of this land. What did you kill in there? Speak now!"
The man held his sword warily. "It was a tentacled horror. I know
not what it was."
"How'd you come 'ere?" Ace asked him.
"A man in strange robes drew me here, from my own battles with the
Shadowlord."
"Not D and D, but Fantasy General," said Joel. Ace stepped on his foot.
"And what is your name?" asked the Doctor.
"I am called Sir Kalador," he replied.
"Would you know this strange man again if you saw him?" asked the
Doctor.
"I would indeed. He must be a powerful wizard." replied Kalador.
"Describe him!" the Doctor urged.
Mike was scrambling through the mazes of the Doom video game that
the Toymaker had imported, blasting demons with the various weapons he
had picked up.
*You do well. Better than I expected, * the Toymaker grudgingly
telepathed.
"On a mere temp's wages, games like this are one of the few
luxuries I can afford," replied Mike.
The Toymaker broke the connection to Mike as Torgo came in.
"M-master, Mister G-g-g-g-g-one has returned." he yammered.
The Toymaker smiled as Gone entered on his Isz mount.
"Underestimated the Doctor, did you?"
Gone glared back at him. "They will arrive here in a few hours. And
if that knight you dragged here before survived that beast, he'll
probably join them."
"He was my first test to see if I could bring anyone here," the
Toymaker retorted.
"I've been bringing people here for some time," Gone shot back.
"You think me foolish enough to trust you?" Toymaker thundered.
"I think you wise enough to leave to me those matters in which I
outmatch you," Gone responded coldly.
Toymaker almost unleashed his power then, but restrained himself.
"We'll settle this later," he snarled, and stormed out.
"Yes," Gone whispered, "After they're dead." Torgo eyed him
nervously.
Sir Kalador had finished his tale. The Doctor sat back quietly.
"You know this wizard he speaks of?" Maxx prompted.
The Doctor looked at Maxx with his eyes in that grey tinge again,
but this time it was not intimidating; instead it seemed to show the
centuries of age and weariness the Doctor had endured. "I met him many
many years ago, many lives ago," the Doctor replied. "He is called the
Celestial Toymaker. He turns whole planets into diabolical playgrounds
for his amusement. I destroyed his last one, but being immortal, he
escaped. It had been years since I faced him. Almost a thousand years
in fact. I thought he might've moved on to another plot, and left me
be. But now it appears that it was not so. He has allied himself with
Maxx's enemy, Mister Gone, in order to destroy me."
They all stared at him, stunned.
"Lives?" asked Sir Kalador.
"A thousand years?" gasped Joel.
"Destroyed his world?" Maxx managed.
"Professor...when will you tell me who you really are?" Ace asked
him.
The Doctor gave Ace a sad smile. "Remind me to lend you my diary
sometime," he said. Turning to the others, he raised his voice. "I
don't have time to answer all your questions," he said. "We must get
out of this ravine by nightfall." He started moving on. After a
moment, Kalador and Maxx followed.
Ace stared after him for a moment and then made to follow, but Joel
put a hand on her arm. "Look, um..." he began.
"Yeh?" she asked.
"I...I've been trapped on a Satellite for three years before now,
and I...well, you're the first girl I've seen in the flesh in that time,
and, well..." he lapsed into an embarrassed silence.
She smiled and ruffled Joel's hair. "Cheers mate, I'm flattered.
But one of the cliches of *my* life is that any man I fall in love with
seems to end up dead." She followed the Doctor.
Joel blinked and stared into the distance for a moment. "Well,
that's a unique rejection, anyway," he whispered, then followed the
others.
Mike found his way to the center of the Doom game, and found
himself confronted with the mightiest demon of them all...
PART 12
"Oh smeg," he said. There's really nothing else to be said. It's
too horrible, and anyway the BBC wouldn't have had the budget to
describe it. Suffice it to say that it was large, and sluggish, and
tentacled, and huge, and slimy. Yuch.
Mike clambered on to a rising platform and shot it between the
eyes. "I told you," he grinned, "I know this game well."
The Toymaker did not answer; save to goad the monstrosity to fire
it's own monster-making blasts back. Mike ducked and dodged, and
blasted it between the eyes again and again.
BWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!
The demon died messily, and Mike was blasted back over a wall of
the labyrinth. He landed on something soft, fortunately.
Unfortunately, it was alive. Mike screamed, jumped up, and ran.
Maxx clawed his way through trees. They had driven off a tiger, a
leopard, and a carnivorous monkey, all in the last twenty minutes. Sir
Kalador had proved valuable, with his sword and strength.
"There are many beasts in this land," Kalador said.
"Yes, but they fear the Maxx!" Maxx boomed. Kalador raised an
eyebrow at him, and the other three rolled their eyes.
"Testosterone overdrive," muttered Ace.
"Survival of the fittest," tutted the Doctor.
"Exile from the b-movies," said Joel, who should know.
At length, they finally came to the other side of the ravine.
"How do we get up?" Asked Ace. "We can't use the ladder from down
'ere."
"Fear not, follow the Maxx!" He clambered up the cliff, using his
claws. This left handholds for the others to use.
Ace looked at Joel. "You mention any plot convenience theatre
jokes," she warned, "And I'll introduce you to a woman named Kate and
all the things she can do with chocolate. And trust me, you won't like
it."
One by one, they clambered up the wall.
Mike came to a giant chessboard, and stared, for the life sized
pieces were moving. "Oh great," He said, lacking the enthusiasm for
anything more.
Torgo burst in on Gone and the Toymaker. "Th-they are coming out
of the valley!" he exclaimed.
Gone grinned. "Let them come. We are more than ready for them."
PART 13
Gone grinned. "Let them come. We are more than ready for them."
"More than ready," agreed the Toymaker. He turned and looked out
of the high observation tower they were in, from which all of the
Labyrinth could be viewed. "Yes, I think we'll finish the Doctor and
his friends this time."
"And with them the Maxx, and my work on Julie will be
unobstructed," Gloated Gone.
Mike dashed between the chess pieces. Suddenly, a ripple went
through them, and they transformed into actual people. A knight came
charging for Mike, swinging his sword. He raced for the edge of the
maze, but a pawn tripped him up with a spear. He fell on his back. The
knight loomed over him, sword raised. Mike kicked the knight in the
crotch, but only hurt his feet against the armor. But the force of the
blow knocked the knight back. The pawn lunged with his spear. Mike
grabbed it, and flipped him over the edge. Then he jumped over himself,
narrowly avoiding a King's attack.
He landed safely in the Labyrinth. Unfortunately, so had the pawn,
which began chasing him with his spear.
The Doctor and company reached the top of the cliff, helped up by
the Maxx. The Labyrinth's outer wall was not far away, but vast; it
stretched to the horizon in either direction.
"We're in one of the movies David Bowie tried to act in,"
complained Joel, but the others looked at him blankly.
"How d'you reckon we get in?" Ace asked.
"Don't worry, they're'll be an entrance somewhere," said the Doctor
gloomily. "They want us inside."
"Then shouldn't we, like, *not* go in?" Asked Joel.
"Coward!" Maxx and Kalador shouted together.
"Caution is the better part of valor," the Doctor said, "But
unfortunately we have to stop them, so we must go in. Search for an
entrance, every one." They all scattered, except for Joel.
"We've split up like they do in every horror movie," he mused,
"even though we know better!" He shrugged and began searching himself.
The Celestial Toymaker and Mister Gone looked down from their high
place.
"They are resourceful and cunning, even the one who is already
within," said Gone. "They need extra difficulties, I think."
"Right you are," the Toymaker agreed. "Torgo! Release the Orcs!"
"Y-yes, m-m-master," said Torgo, hurrying away with his cheesy
music.
"I hate that," Gone muttered.
Ace and Maxx found an entrance...
PART 14
Ace and Maxx found an entrance, not far to the right of where they'd
come up. It was a door, closed, the frame so thin as to almost be
invisible.
Ace called the others over. "I've no nitro to blow the door," she
said sadly.
"We've blown enough things up already, I think," said the Doctor,
"Besides, as I said, they want us inside. There must be a way."
Maxx and Kalador kept suggesting brute force, the Doctor arguing it
must be a pattern of some sort. As they argued, Joel stepped forward
and pushed...and the door opened inwards.
The Doctor blinked, Maxx and Kalador stared. Ace grinned.
"A door is a door is a door," he said, not smirking or jesting.
Sheepishly, they followed him in.
There was a wide entrance hall. No one greeted them.
"Show yourself, Toymaker!" the Doctor shouted.
"Gone! Coward!" Maxx bellowed.
There was no answer. Slowly, they advanced. The Doctor tugged out
a tracker and scanned the hall with it. No traps came up.
"It's quiet," said the Doctor.
"Too quiet," said Joel, trying not to laugh.
Kalador drew his sword, Ace pulled out her Hand of Omega-powered
baseball bat, and Maxx raised his claws. Slowly, they advanced.
Mike raced down the hallway, the pawn still chasing him. Both were
tiring, but Mike was tiring faster. He ducked through an archway, into
a cavernous room, a bridge spanning it. At the other end, an old man
stood. Mike, knowing his Monty Python, stopped immediately, and
sidestepped. The pawn went charging past.
"Stop!" the oldster barked. The pawn tripped, then halted.
"What is your name?" the oldster gargled.
"Marcus," the pawn managed.
"What is your quest?"
"Uh..." Marcus began, but never finished, as he was flung screaming
into the abyss. Mike dashed back out before the old man could speak to
him.
Torgo and his cheesy music went down a dark and stinky hallway,
where even the Isz never went. There were grunts and snarls behind a
high wrought-iron gate. Nervously, stepping to the right, Torgo loosed
the bolt.
PART 15
Immediately, the doors slammed open, and Orcs surged out, knocking
Torgo down. They divided into smaller and smaller groups, each one
selecting different corridors.
("Corridors" chuckled Benny when they told her later. The Doctor made a
face at her.)
Mike encountered one almost immediately, a group of three of them.
He dashed through a door, into one of Gone's "improved areas". Iszes
lunged for him. He ducked, then ran pell-mell for the other end. The
Orcs followed him in, and began fighting the Isz. Mike dashed through
the other side, gasping, and immediately went sliding down a chute.
The Doctor and company made it to the end of the entry foyer.
There were three doors before them.
"It's Let's Make A Deal!" Joel exclaimed brightly. "We can take
the four thousand dollar envelope, or go for certain death behind door
number one!"
"You watch too much tv, mate," Ace told him.
"You have *no* idea," replied Joel in a bad Jeremy Irons imitation.
"In our case," the Doctor replied, "We will take doorrrrrrr
numberrr thrrrree." Trilling thusly, he opened the right hand door.
They stepped through, onto a vast green plain. But the plain was not
grass; it was more like felt.
The door slammed shut behind them. Ace tried to open it, but it
wouldn't budge. Maxx and Kalador attacked it with sword and claw, but
no dice.
"Figures," said Joel.
They began advancing over the plain, looking for a way out. In the
distance, they could see the same kind of high brown wall that had been
on this side of the door.
Joel's face went white. "It's a giant pool table!" Even as he
spoke, billiard balls came rolling towards them.
Mike came to the end of the chute. He saw that it was a nexus of
several chutes, with no normal passageways.
*I believe you called this game 'Marble Madness',* telepathed the
Toymaker. *All you have to do is get to the bottom without being
squashed by the marbles.*
Three marbles appeared at the top of the chute above Mike, and
started rolling towards him. Yelling in fear, he took a left hand chute
and started to slide again.
The Doctor's party was running towards the corner pocket of the
giant table, the eight ball in hot pursuit.
"Behind the Eight Ball," panted Joel.
The leaped down into the corner pocket. The drop was not far, and
they hurriedly cleared the landing zone as the Eight ball came crashing
down behind them. It cracked down the middle and split in half.
They walked slowly away, until Kalador found an arch. They stepped
through, and found themselves in a Tom and Jerry cartoon...
