HOME
SEASON I
SEASON II
SEASON III
SEASON IV
SEASON V
SEASON VI
SEASON VII
FastCounter by LinkExchange
|
SEASON IV
CAMILLE
KRYTEN: Well, I'm truly grateful, sir. Don't you think I'd love to be deceitful, unpleasant, and offensive? Those are the human qualities I admire the most! But I just can't do it.
Duration: 8.6 s
Size: 95 KB
WAV
LISTER: Come on, what is it?
KRYTEN: It's a b... It's a b... It's a small, off-duty Czechoslovakian traffic warden!
LISTER: Yes, you did it, you did it! What's this?
KRYTEN: It's a red-and-blue striped golfing umbrella!
LISTER: Kryten! Yes! What's this?
KRYTEN: It's an apple.
LISTER: No! What is it?
KRYTEN: It's a, it's a, it's, it's, it's the Bolivian Navy on manoeuvres in the South Pacific!
Duration: 18.9 s
Size: 208 KB
WAV
KRYTEN: It's a banana. It always HAS been a banana, it always WILL be a banana. It's a yellow fruit that you unzip and eat the white bits; it's a banana!
Duration: 6.6 s
Size: 73 KB
WAV
KRYTEN: In Z80012, using hex rather than binary, and converting to a basic ASC-2 code: Camille, I think I E5 A9 08 B7 you.
Duration: 9.3 s
Size: 103 KB
WAV
KRYTEN: But you don't know them! You'll like them! Well, SOME of them. Well, ONE of them. Maybe.
Duration: 6.0 s
Size: 66 KB
WAV
KRYTEN: Camille looks like your sister-in-law? What happened? Was she involved in some kind of horrific car accident?
RIMMER: Who, Jannine? No, of course not; she was a model.
KRYTEN: And she looked like Camille?
RIMMER: Absolutely; the resemblance is uncanny.
KRYTEN: What did she model? Spark plugs?
RIMMER: I happen to think she's very attractive.
KRYTEN: You do?
RIMMER: Certainly.
KRYTEN: Do you think I'M attractive?
RIMMER: You? Of course not. I think you look like a giant half-chewed rubber-tipped pencil.
Duration: 29.5 s
Size: 325 KB
WAV
KRYTEN: Holly, what did you see?
HOLLY: I didn't see anything. I don't think I've got any desires. Either that, or me screen was foggy.
Duration: 6.4 s
Size: 71 KB
WAV
KRYTEN: It's the old, old story. Droid meets droid. Droid becomes chameleon. Droid loses chameleon, chameleon becomes blob, droid gets blob back again. It's a classic tale.
Duration: 9.6 s
Size: 105 KB
WAV
KRYTEN: It's the old, old story. Droid meets droid. Droid becomes chameleon. Droid loses chameleon, chameleon turns into blob, droid gets blob back again, blob meets blob, blob goes off with blob, and droid loses blob, chameleon and droid. How many times have we seen that story?
Duration: 14.8 s
Size: 163 KB
WAV
DNA
CAT: You think I can't handle this on my own? I have to rush off and get novelty-condom head to bail you out?
Duration: 4.7 s
Size: 51 KB
WAV
KRYTEN: Engage panic circuits. Panic circuits engaged. Bwa-ha
Duration: 5.2 s
Size: 55 KB
WAV
KRYTEN: Greetings, fellow human! Ah, breakfast, my very first meal! Boiled chicken ovulations -- delicious!
Duration: 6.9 s
Size: 75 KB
WAV
KRYTEN: It's hideous! That's the best design they could come up with? Are you seriously telling me there were choices, and someone said "Ah, there, that's it. That's the shape we're looking for: The last- chicken-in-the-shop look?" Shakespeare had one? Einstein? Perry Como sang "Memories are Made of This" with one of those stashed in his slacks?
Duration: 20.2 s
Size: 223 KB
WAV
LISTER: What's so big about being human?
RIMMER: Listy, don't knock it till you've tried it.
Duration: 4.4 s
Size: 48 KB
WAV
KRYTEN: I don't have to take this from you. I'm a human. Shut you're stupid flat head.
Duration: 4.2 s
Size: 47 KB
WAV
LISTER: Of course. Lager! The only thing that can kill a vindaloo.
Duration: 4.5 s
Size: 50 KB
WAV
JUSTICE
KRYTEN: Oh, srew down my diodes and call me Frank
Duration: 3.4 s
Size: 42 KB
WAV
LISTER: The first female company in three million years, and I look like something that belongs up a whale's nose.
Duration: 5.7 s
Size: 63 KB
WAV
CAT: You could go out double-dating with the Elephant Man, and he would be the looker.
Duration: 3.2 s
Size: 35 KB
WAV
KRYTEN: Sir, can we just take a break for a while? My intelligence circuits appear to have melted.
Duration: 5.2 s
Size: 58 KB
WAV
RIMMER: Oh, Listy, Listy. Is that a small sewage plant you're carrying in your trousers, or do I detect you're a tad concerned?
Duration: 7.9 s
Size: 87 KB
WAV
KRYTEN: Who would put this man, this joke of a man, a man who couldn't outwit a used tea bag, in a position of authority where he could wipe out an entire crew? Who? Only a yoghurt.
Duration: 13.1 s
Size: 142 KB
WAV
WHITE HOLE
KRYTEN: What on Earth are we going to do?
CAT: Hey, I got it! We laser our way through!
KRYTEN: An excellent suggestion, Sir, with just two minor drawbacks. One, we don't have a power source for the lasers, and two, we don't have any lasers.
Duration: 12.7 s
Size: 137 KB
WAV
LISTER: No muffins, no toast, no teacakes, no buns, baps, baguettes or bagels, no croissants, no crumpets, no pancakes, no potato cakes and no hot-cross buns and *definitely* no smegging flapjacks!
Duration: 10.4 s
Size: 112 KB
WAV
LISTER: You okay, man?
KRYTEN: I'm fine, thank you, Susan.
Duration: 2.6 s
Size: 27 KB
WAV
RIMMER: Yes, but Rimmer Directive 271 states just as clearly, "No chance you metal bastard."
Duration: 2.6 s
Size: 65 KB
WAV
HOLLY: You're a total smeghead, aren't you Rimmer?
Duration: 1.8 s
Size: 18 KB
WAV
KRYTEN: It leaves us galloping up diarrhoea drive without a saddle.
Duration: 3.5 s
Size: 37 KB
WAV
KRYTEN: You are the most obnoxious, trumped-up, farty little smeghead it has ever been my misfortune to encounter!
Duration: 7.0 s
Size: 75 KB
WAV
DIMENSION JUMP
ACE: Smoke me a kipper, I'll be back for breakfast.
Duration: 3.1 s
Size: 34 KB
WAV
RIMMER: You now your trouble, Kryten?
KRYTEN: What, sir?
RIMMER: You're a git.
Duration: 3.3 s
Size: 36 KB
WAV
RIMMER: It's not easy, you know, to come in every night, look in that mirror, and see a guy nobody likes.
CAT: How do you think we feel? We got to look at it all day!
Duration: 6.0 s
Size: 63 KB
WAV
ACE: Microsurgery: all part of basic training in the Space Corps Special Service. I'll go scrub up.
RIMMER: I'll go and throw up.
Duration: 6.2 s
Size: 68 KB
WAV
MELTDOWN
LISTER: Rimmer, can't you tell the story is not gripping me? I'm in a state of non-grippedness, I am completely smegging ungripped. Shut the smeg up.
Duration: 11.1 s
Size: 122 KB
WAV
LISTER: Shut the smeg up!
Duration: 1.4 s
14 KB
WAV
ELVIS: Reach for the sky, boys. Thank-you-very-much.
Duration: 2.2 s
Size: 24 KB
WAV
CAT: Hey, a little advice, bud: we all feel peckish after making love but most of us settle for pizza.
Duration: 4.3 s
Size: 47 KB
WAV
CALIGULA: Rasputin, bring in the bucket of soapy frogs and remove his trousers!
Duration: 4.2 s
Size: 46 KB
WAV
|
|
