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On June 25, 1998, Hot Potato had the, well, I don't want to say pleasure, but in a
way, I guess it was, on being on the Game Show Network original program, "Faux Pause". If you
have never seen Faux Pause and don't know what it was, (first off, let me say that you are
very lucky), but I will let you know now. Two "comics" who I never heard of did commentaries
on game show episodes, a-la "Mystery Science Theatre 3000". It didn't work out too well, but
they talked about many series. Hot Potato was the second show they highlighted. They made QUITE
a series of really bad jokes, sketches, and they even made fun of the man who kept the game
show going: Cullen himself. As I watched that episode of Faux Pause, I thought to myself on
how Bill Cullen HAD to be rolling in his grave at that moment. This page will highlight some
of the bad, tasteless jokes that Faux Pause did to this great game show, as well as my comebacks
for THEM! (And yes, I do hope that people from Sony/GSN are watching, so they know not to put on
a piece of sh*t like this ever again!)
The first thing that Faux Pause took a stab at was making fun of the smoking sign. She thought
that "the sign was on fire! Everyone run! Grab the women!" I'm sorry, but that sign was one of a
kind, original, and just damn-right awesome! They also managed to say that they had a guy smoking
a lot of cigarettes backstage, and that is what caused the smoke to come out of the sign. VERY
tasteless joke as far as I am concerned. Smoking is a down right dirty habit, and having a
grown up mature(?) human being, seeing him with like 30 Camels in his mouth tied in a rubber
band like thingy is NOT my idea of humor. I didn't exactly fall out of my chair laughing (all
though, the hosts thought it was a riot, of course).
Okay. Now THIS is where I draw the line (and the game hadn't even begun yet). In the episode
they took shots at (Moms To Be vs Teachers), Bill made the reference to a female member, "I
couldn't see your name tag. It was facing away from me. For the best reason in the world." That
is the innocent humor that Bill was made famous for in my opinion, and the hosts of Faux Pause
were like, "WHOA! What did he say? I can't beleive they were allowed to say that! (Sarcastically
of course), I mean, what do you expect from a guy from Pittsburgh?" After that, a crem member
claims to be from Pittsburgh, and need I continue? I mean, this was like watching an episode of
Jerry Springer. (Granted, on occasion he is cool, but in this case, I don't mean it like that).
Then to top it all off, Bill casually said that the mothers to be will enjoy it. (Being a parent
is implyed). Of course, they take a shot at this too. "Yeah, like Bill Cullen's given birth". I
don't know much but I know this: Mess with the best, DIE LIKE THE REST! :)
Moving right along the line of wiseass-remarks about Hot Potato, Bill Cullen had in my opinion
a very sweet complement. If you have seen this episode of HP, you know that he flubbers on a
question about saying "Sentence" instead of "Census". He said, "That is also a sentence when you
are single". That meant that being in love is great, and being alone is hard to do (which I have
to agree...I've been single all my life and I feel like I'm in jail - alone. And they were like,
"Its the other way around. You have a sentence when you are married, not single. The male host
agreed with Cullen however. (But that was only because his wife was watching...pity her, would
you please? I'd hate to be married to that idiot. And have you noticed that all the pics of him
have that same stupid look on his face? Gosh!) Continuing...
Now, lets take a shot at a contestent. The question was, name a state with the most single men.
And she said Oregon. Now granted, I didn't think she was going to be right anyway. (Then again,
I didn't think the previous answer of Michigan was going to be up there either). Time for a really
lame sketch! They talked about people in Oregon and how they are a bunch of hicks. HELLO! I have
a few friends from there, and they are NOTHING like the horny bastards that they made them out to
be. If my friend had GSN and saw that, GSN would no longer exist! (Well, maybe not from one
person complaining, but hell. GSN I am sure has recieved a LOT of e-mail saying that this show
sucked anyway).
Okay, NOW they take a shot at MY home state of New Jersey. The guy host (pardon I don't know
their names off hand. I never really cared enough to check), dresses up like Bruce Springsteen
(a fellow New Jersey resident), and is like, "You know why there are lots of single men here?
You ever see the girls from Jersey?" Now I am sorry, but the reason that all the girls here look
like that is because it was most likely the summer time, and it was a tourist. (What can I say.
Tourists get mistaken for locals all the time and vice versa). Actually, not that I am looking at
them as much as the guys at the beach, but the women from New Jersey are actually rather
attractive. So dude, whoever you are, DON'T DITCH NEW JERSEY!!
NOW they bash Shelly Long. You know something, that is just it. I really like her a LOT. I think
that she is very talented, and a hell of a lot funnier than these assh*l*s hosting the show. I
mean, Outrageous Fortune (can't beat Bette Midler either), The Money Pit, of course her role as
Diane on Cheers, I mean, come on. She did more with her life then these two are doing with
theres. Shelly has been someone people have known for years. I'm like, "who the Hell ARE these
two?" You know what, I can't go on anymore. I'm going to be sick, plus, I don't want to take up
any more of my precious HTML space for this. Hope you liked my bashing of Faux Pause's bashing
on an episode of Hot Potato. GET A GRIP GSN!! :)
