He Is Boring

Danger Danger

Be careful in this area. If a student writes an essay that says "Shakespeare is boring" the student can expect a poor grade. Writing "Shakespeare has some weaknesses that make enjoying his plays difficult to the modern observer," might not be so repulsive to the teacher. "Shakespeare's characters say good things but they rarely engage in conversation," might test a teachers tolerance. It is improtant to be careful how this part of the essay is worded.

People Don't Talk That Long

After any exposure to Shakespeare, one is left to wonder how people could talk like that. Speeches can take up an entire printed page. And don't let a king get started because they will just go on and on. Oh my god what is Lear talking about and why is he going on so long about it? Hamlet, say it all in two sentences otherwise you just bore us. Most of the speakers are not illuminating some aspect of humanity. They are just droning on and on about some little thing. Shut up fool.

That's Not a Conversation

While these people are droning on and on, we must notice that true banter never occurs in Shakespeare. He warned us that all people on his stage would do is "Strut and Fret." That is what his characters do. They never stop to talk to each other. The make pronoucements, that express judgements, they wax poetic. They do not talk to the other people on stage. They may annouce some feeling or idea but the other people on stage are just waiting for their turn to make a speech at people.

It Is Hard to Memorize

Because people drone on and on for no apparent reason, Shakespeare's plays are hard to memorize. The conversation in a good play like Tennessee William's stuff or anything by Moliere makes it easy to memorize lines. A conversation with a point has a flow that makes it easy for an actor to memorize lines. Actors like being cast in a Shakespeare play because they can prove that they can memorize really long speeches. Since all actors have to do is strut and fret there is no problem with an actor showing a real emotion.

Who Cares?

Many of Shakespeare's plays center around people that we do not care about. As Americans we see most royals as being a foolish waste of time and a bothersome pain in the ass. No one really cares what happens to Hamlet because he is not going to make life better for anyone. He is not going to usher in a new governing principle. Macbeth is just a horribly bad ruler and most people wish he would just go away. Romeo and Juliet go on and on about whatever and then they die. So why did we spend any time paying attention to them. They do not show us the true glory of love. All those stories with women posing as men and men pining away for a love do not have characters that matter to us. Shakespeare's characters make the modern American ask "Who Cares?"

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