Real Life Can Be An Adventure Too
By: Lisa Drexel

Chapter One 
  

"Are you sure you're ready for this?" Angel asked her as his fingers 
tightened around her arm, stopping her just short of entering the library. 

Willow sighed, having no idea what to say. Was she okay? Well, if her 
heart-rate was indication, she would have to say no. Would she survive? 
Short of Buffy staking her, she would have to say yes. 

Now, if only she could get her knees to unlock and begin the arduous task 
of walking again, everything would be just peachy. 

"Yes," she said softly, watching his eyebrow lift in question. "Well, not 
totally-but I have to do this," she said softly. Nibbling on her bottom 
lip, she looked back to the closed library doors and shuddered. 

She so did not want to go in there. What was she going to say? "Oz is in 
there, isn't he?" 

Angel nodded once-his eyes never leaving hers. 

She finally shut them, unable to stop the tears that filled them. Goddess, 
she hated the fact that she was going to hurt him. No one deserved it, and 
yet, if she stayed with him-it would be like lying-to him, herself and 
Spike. 

"He's coming out here," Angel said, his body stiffening in response to Oz's 
presence as he backed away from the door, pulling on Willow's arm. 

Willow stumbled backwards, her eyes glued to the door and not even five 
seconds later, her boyfriend stepped out. 

"Willow!" 

Grinning, she stepped forward out of Angel's grasp, opening her arms for 
him, never once thinking that Oz would be able to smell Spike's scent on 
her. 

Just as her hands locked around his waist, she heard a low-level rumbling 
coming from his chest. Almost immediately, she felt herself being pushed 
away- 

She would've fallen down if Angel hadn't caught her in time. 

"I smell him on you," Oz whispered, his eyes dark as he glared at her. 

Her eyes shut, unable to see his pain-already feeling it in her soul as she 
nodded slowly. "I know," she whispered as her eyes opened. 

Angel cleared his throat as he glanced at the couple. "Willow, why don't I 
give you two some privacy-I'll just wait around the corner until you're 
ready to go inside." 

Willow nodded, her eyes never leaving Oz's pained ones. After nearly a 
minute, she dropped her gaze and stared at the floor-suddenly unsure of 
what to say next. 

"You slept with him, didn't you?" 

She nodded, inwardly wondering if she should even touch the other Spike 
issue... 

"Was it by choice? Did he-did he hurt you?" 

Shaking her head, she looked up at the ceiling and sighed softly. "I don't 
even know where to begin." 

"Were you even going to tell me?" 

Nodding her head yes, she looked over at him. "That was the plan. I owe you 
that-so much more than that. I wish I could say I was raped- which I 
was-well, I guess I was and I was almost really raped by Angelus-" 

"Angel?" 

She saw his face pale and began shaking her head. "No the other Angel-in 
the other world-lost his soul like our Angel and was Angelus and last night 
he came by and I thought he was Angel," she paused, taking a deep a breath 
as her fingers brushed by the bite marks Angelus left. They still 
hurt-unlike the ones left by the Spikes. 

He pulled her hand away from her neck and gasped softly. He gently turned 
her neck and groaned softly at the other pair-made by the Spikes. 
"Willow-what happened? How?" 

Willow blinked away her tears as she shook her head ruefully. How could she 
explain all of it and Spike without sounding like a crazy woman? Was it 
even possible? 

"Short version or long version?" She asked as she slid down the wall and 
sat down, leaning against it, wrapping her hands around her knees. 

"Short," Oz said, sitting next to her. 

Taking one last deep breath in preparation, Willow told him-as short of a 
version as possible. 

It took her nearly fifteen minutes. 

By the time she finished speaking, Oz was pacing in front of her- 
alternatively squeezing his fists and growling softly-shooting her looks 
mixed with admiration, hurt, anger and resignation. 

And then she waited for his reaction. 

He finally stopped moving and dropped down to a crouch in front of her. 
After taking her hand in his and wiping her wet face, he waited for her to 
look up. 

Once their eyes met, he leaned over and kissed her softly on the cheek, 
stood up and walked away. She watched him the entire time he walked down 
the hall to the exit doors-her eyes never leaving his back until he 
disappeared through the double doors. 

"Oh Goddess, it hurts," she said as her chest tightened. She didn't even 
hear Angel's approach until she felt his cool arms wrap around her, pulling 
her to her feet. "It hurts so much, Angel. It's almost as if my heart got 
broken by breaking his." She turned into his arms and buried her head into 
his coat as deep, heart-wrenching sobs shook her body. 

*** 

"Shhh, it's okay, Willow," Angel whispered as he began moving down the hall 
to an opened classroom. Slipping inside, he walked backwards until his legs 
hit the side of the teacher's desk. Glancing at the clear corner, he sat 
down and pulled Willow closer, holding her tightly as she finally let out 
her emotions. 

He wasn't too surprised by her tears and knew that they weren't just 
because of Oz, either. Before the three of them had left the other world, 
Spike had pulled Angel over and in his own manic way, asked Angel if he 
thought it was normal for Willow to have remained basically tear-free 
through out this whole ordeal. 

Angel shook his head, instantly remembering at least two different 
occasions when he'd seen Willow cry and knew by what Buffy had told him, 
those weren't the only times the red-haired witch allowed herself the 
comfort of crying. 

It wasn't normal and he told Spike as much. It was then that Spike asked 
Angel if he could keep an eye out on Willow-especially when she confronted 
Oz and the rest of her friends; he was almost certain it would be then she 
would break down. 

Angel had to shake his head in amazement on how right on the money his 
childe had been. It still floored him when Angel could see the love the 
blond vampire had for Willow-in his eyes, his actions-in everything that he 
did. 

The souled vampire always knew his childe could love-his devotion to Dru 
was a shining example as to how different Spike was to other demons-but to 
love a human-with a soul no less-was still nothing short of extraordinary. 

It was a wonder that the Judge didn't zap him to Hell the year before like 
the blue demon had done to Dalton. 

After nearly ten minutes, Willow's sobs lessened and he could feel her 
getting restless. Relaxing his hold, he leaned back enough to watch 
her-just to be sure. Smiling self-depreciatingly, Willow wiped her wet 
face, sniffling hard as a deep red blush covered her face. 

"I'm sorry, Angel-" 

"Willow, there's nothing to be sorry for. It's been a rough week-it's 
expected. You're human, after all," he added softly. 

She nodded as she stepped out of his embrace and straightened her 
shoulders. "I need to run to the ladies room and then I should be okay. 
Walk with me?" 

He nodded and pushed himself off the desk. Holding out his arm, she slipped 
hers through at the elbow and together they walked to the restroom. 

                ~~~~~end of part 1a~~~~ 

(part 1b) 

"Willow!" 

The young hacker nearly fell over when both Xander and Buffy ran over to 
her and hugged her tightly. Feeling her eyes water once again, she closed 
her eyes-unable and unwilling to hide how much she missed their presence in 
the past week. Was it just two hours ago that she was in a room, just like 
this one, forging a tentative friendship with Buffy's double all the while 
Amy beguiled her with tales of the Hellmouth-their Sunnydale? 

It seemed so surreal to her, a part of her wondered if any of it really 
happened. 

But it had. 

Willow wouldn't have broken Oz's heart just minutes before if it had been a 
dream and Angel wouldn't have been standing behind her- almost as if he was 
Willow's personal body guard-if their adventure into that other world had 
just been a figment of her imagination. 

And if that wasn't enough to remind Willow of the real facts, Buffy's 
strangled reaction to the double pair of bite marks marring Willow's pale 
neck, would have been. 

"Oh my God, Willow-who did this? Are you okay-you're still warm- not a 
vamp-Angel-what the hell happened to Willow?" 

"Buffy," Willow leaned back, catching Xander's hand in the air just as he 
was getting ready to touch her wounds, "I'm okay. Still human and a lot 
better than I could be." 

"Wills, who did this?" 

"Deadboy-I thought you were supposed to protect her!" 

"I say, Ms. Rosenberg, it appears that you were quite lucky to get out of 
there alive-" 

"Harris-" 

"Where's Oz? Did you talk to him?" 

"Willow, I like the look-did you finally get rid of those Sears rejects?" 

"I'm glad you're back, Willow." 

Groaning softly, she let herself be led to the table and sat down-not too 
surprised to notice that Buffy had yet to let go of her arm. Xander tried 
to sit on her other side, but Angel managed to snatch the seat away from 
him. 

Feeling exhausted and missing Spike more and more as the night wore on, 
Willow yawned softly-waiting patiently for everyone to calm down enough for 
her to speak. 

That took another five minutes. 

Grinning, she looked around the table and felt herself blush-still amazed 
that this many people could care for her and miss her. She just hoped that 
it would stay that way, once she finished telling them exactly what 
happened to her in her doppelganger's world. 

*Goddess, give me strength,* she silently prayed as she snuck a glance at 
Angel. He reached over and squeezed her arm and Willow sighed, thankful for 
his support. She would need it-for that she was sure. 

Clearing her throat, she looked around the room and noted that everyone had 
quieted down. *Thank goddess...* 

"Oz went home-I talked to him in the hallway. He wasn't feeling too good," 
Willow said, hating that she had to lie-but knowing she couldn't start the 
night by telling everyone she broke the werewolf's heart. 

It wouldn't go over too well. 

"So, Wills-who bit you?" 

Willow looked over at Xander and silently cursed him for starting there- 
instead of at the beginning-where she wanted to start. 

Instead of answering him, she shook her head at him and turned her 
attention to Giles-once again relying on his strength and compassion to 
hear her story. 

"First of all, I'm okay. It could've been a lot worse-but it ended up 
working out. For awhile, we weren't sure if I was going to make it back 
here human." 

"What do you mean? Why did the other Willow take you?" Buffy asked, 
squeezing her hand gently. 

Sighing for the millionth time that evening, Willow found herself chuckling 
softly. "How 'bout I start at the beginning?" 

Giles slipped off his glasses and began cleaning them. "I think that would 
be a good idea, Willow." 

"You guys know that she took Spike a week before she got me, right?" 

"Yeah, what was up with that, Wills?" Xander asked, downing the last of his 
soda. "Why both of you?" 

Willow felt her mouth curl up in a smile as she met Xander's eyes. "She 
wanted love life advice and our Spike was the best person, in her mind, to 
give it." 

"What?" Buffy asked, her hand dropping from Willow's. "What kind of 
advice?" 

Willow looked over at Angel, absently noting his grin and lifted her 
eyebrow in question at him. He nodded-giving her the go ahead. 

"The other Buffy arrived in Sunnydale-only two years too late. She freed 
Angel-and like here, they became intimate. It just happened a bit more 
quickly there. 

"He lost his soul and Angelus returned with a vengeance. The big difference 
there though, was Willow had tortured the souled-Angel for over a year and 
even before she had been turned, Angel tried looking after her. Since there 
was no Buffy to help-he found himself drawn to Willow. Once Angelus 
returned, he claimed Willow-throwing Xander out of the lair-stirring up 
trouble, etc. We all know Angelus, right?" 

Everyone nodded except Wesley, who cleared his throat. "But Ms. Rosenberg, 
what does this have to do with you and Spike?" 

"I'm getting there. Willow was drawn to Angelus-maybe loved him-I don't 
know. But she was and still is, in love with Spike. Her Spike. Dru never 
had that restoration spell, so she died and Spike came back about the same 
time Angelus returned." 

"I think I see where this is going," Cordelia said, looking up from her 
nails. "Skanky Willow was-is-sleeping with both of them, right? And because 
we all know how much Spike and Angelus hated each other- she had to hide it 
from both of them, right?" 

Willow nodded, hearing Angel clear his throat. "She wanted both of them and 
it was getting nearly impossible to keep them separate, so in her infinite 
wisdom, remembering our Willow, decided to bring our Spike over to give 
love life tips." 

Buffy squealed indignantly, shooting up in her chair. "All this so she 
could bop two vampires at the same time?" 

"Yep," Willow said, nodding her head in agreement. "So, you can imagine how 
pissed off Spike-our Spike-was. Luckily for me, and us I guess, he really 
didn't care for the vampire Willow too much. Once she got what she needed 
from Spike, she pulled me through to her world- so that I could approach 
the other Giles and what they called the White Hats-to find the spell to 
send us home." She looked down at her hands, feeling her nervousness return 
as she was inching closer to the part of the story that had to do with 
Spike and her. 

*What if they hate me?* she asked herself. *How could I explain this to 
them? How would Xander understand?* 

"That isn't all of it, is it Willow?" 

Willow lifted her head and met Giles' knowing look and shook her head. "No, 
it isn't," she whispered as she pulled away from Buffy and stood up. Pacing 
in front of her friends, she looked up and met Angel's concerned eyes and 
took a deep breath. "Well, as simple as her plan was-it-it definitely had 
flaws. Like, how I was going to approach their Giles in the first place 
with dying from a stake wound or how, once I convinced the 'White Hats' of 
my sincerity, to keep that Buffy-who was so much darker and angrier than I 
our Buffy-from dusting Spike...you see? It was hard and the only place I 
was relatively safe was with our Spike because of Angelus' obsession with 
Willow-human or otherwise and the Master's desire to have two Willows as 
his childer-" 

"You slept with him, didn't you?" Cordy interrupted, apparently already 
putting two and two together. 

"Cordelia!" Xander snapped. "Our Willow wouldn't do that!" 

"With Spike?" Buffy asked. "Never!" she said, snorting very unladylike. 

Silently cursing the cheerleader, Willow nodded slowly. "I love him," she 
said softly, her head falling as hot tears fell down her cheeks. "And I 
didn't know if I was going to ever get back here and the other Giles didn't 
find the spell until last night and all those nights I spent there 
wondering who was actually going to turn me because if we didn't find a way 
home. Spike and I had already discussed staying together and turning me 
when we found find the soul restoration spell and by then we both admitted 
to each other that underneath all the death threats and kidnapping and 
cross-waving, there was a strong, real deep underlying attraction thing 
going-so deep that he actually left Dru willingly the second time and tried 
drinking me out of his system in Mexico...and here we were in another world 
where Willow and Spike were in love and it just seemed to reaffirm our 
feelings for one another- like it wasn't a fluke or just because of us 
being in a different world- that it was me! 
ant to be and that if we did get back, that we were going to continue this 
relationship-wherever that may lead us," she said nearly out of breath. 

For nearly a minute, a deathly quiet blanketed the room. Willow lifted her 
head and looked at Angel-getting strength from his quiet, but strong 
support. He held out his hand and she grabbed it gratefully, taking small 
comfort in its coolness and missing with all her heart the cool hand she 
really wanted to be holding. 

*Please don't let me lose my friends...not after all the hassle and pain we 
went through to get back here,* she silently prayed. 

Still looking at her and Angel's clasped hands, Willow sighed softly. "On 
the bright side, the other Amy told me where to find the spell to de-rat 
her. She said that maybe with her verbal okay, it might be enough for the 
goddess to allow me to see the spell. I'm going to try in a couple of 
days." 

"So, those bite marks are Spike's?" Buffy asked, her voice controlled and 
strained. 

Why did she sound so much like the other Buffy? 

Swallowing hard, Willow shook her head. "Only one set. The other two 
belonged to the other Spike and Angelus." 

"She almost died last night," Angel said quietly, dropping Willow's hand as 
he stood up and walked over to Buffy. "Angelus found out where Spike and 
Willow were staying. He followed me, I guess. And he played me-got her 
outside-and kidnapped her. Luckily, the other Buffy found them and called 
Giles who in turn called our Spike and told us where Angelus had taken her. 

"We got there just as he was draining her. Spike nearly ripped his head 
off. The only thing stopping either of us from dusting him was that it 
wasn't our world to interfere in. Willow ended up okay and we went to see 
Giles and discovered that he found the spell to bring us home." 

"Why in the hell didn't you stop Fangboy from touching her?" Xander yelled, 
shooting out of his chair and throwing himself onto Angel. "Isn't that why 
we sent you there in the first place?" 

"Xander! Leave Angel out of this! It isn't his fault-" 

By this time Xander was trying to wrap his hands around Angel's throat 
while Angel held him off. "It was too late, Harris!" he said, plying the 
human's fingers off him. "They had already been intimate by the time I got 
there!" 

Buffy came around and pulled Xander away from Angel as her eyes flittered 
back and forth between Willow and Angel. "Sit down, Xan," she ordered, 
pushing him towards his chair. She walked over to stand in front of Angel. 
"Why didn't you stop it once you found out about it?" she asked. 

Willow shivered at the fake calmness in her friend's voice. 

"Because he loves her, Buffy." 

"I find out that hard to believe," Wesley said as he stood up. "Soulless 
demons cannot love." 

Willow snorted, shaking her head in defiance. "Bull. They just chose not to 
love humans. It's not very healthy to get too cozy with your food source, 
is it? Would we still eat beef if we could carry on conversions with cows?" 

"Willow," Giles said, exasperation lacing his voice. "That's besides the 
point. It's the soul that enables a being to love-" 

"That's wrong too, Giles. Explain serial killers and other psychopaths. 
They have souls and yet they don't love," she said as she turned her 
attention to Buffy. She walked over to her friend and reached for her hand. 
Ignoring Buffy's flinch, she squeezed it tightly. "Buffy, I know that you 
feel bad about not being able to protect me. But you did. Your other self 
saved my life. The other Spike-he didn't want to kill me or turn me. He 
just wanted to play. And, looking back, if I hadn't been with our Spike, 
that experience could've been a lot worse. Because, the moment the 
opportunity, the other Spike was going to do what he did. He was just 
waiting for the right moment to get me alone so he could- could do the 
th-things he did." 

Buffy's eyes softened as they filled with tears. Pulling their clasped 
hands towards her, she then wrapped Willow in her arms as she cried. "Oh 
Wills, I'm so sorry. It must've been horrible for you and here I am 
throwing a fit instead of showing you how much I love you and need you," 
she said as she pulled back and meeting Willow's eyes. "I just know Spike 
and he's dangerous and I don't want him to hurt you." 

Willow gave her a small smile as she nodded. "I know. He explained it to me 
this way-he actually attributes his ability to see certain people as people 
and not as Happy Meals with Legs to you. He said that his deal with you 
last spring was what broke through that wall of his. And once that 
happened, everything else fell into place. At least into our place. Between 
your alliance and Angelus' reign, he changed. He's still a demon, but he 
won't hurt any of us now-because of me. He's coming back. He called me 
tonight. He said that he'd help us with the Ascension if you promise not to 
stake him." 

Buffy looked over Willow's shoulder at Angel. "Do you believe him?" 

Angel sighed, leaning against the table. "I wouldn't have unless I had went 
there myself. It wasn't until I saw both that Spike and our Spike together 
did I actually see the differences. They're subtle, but they are there. The 
other Spike is the Spike that I remember from a hundred years ago. Cruel, 
ruthless, impatient, funny, devoted to those he loves. Our Spike is all 
that too-but he's more. He's-he's-" 

"He's what, Deadboy?" Xander interrupted, glaring at all three of them. "A 
cold-blooded demon that's going to kill us all when we have our backs 
turned? I can't believe you did this, Willow!" 

"Xander! Shut up!" Cordelia snapped, standing up and gathering her things. 
"Need we remind you of the Inca Mummy Girl and the giant insect lady? As 
far as I can tell, at least Willow's chosen a demon with class." 

Willow pulled away from Buffy and walked over to Xander. Kneeling in front 
of him, she took his hands in hers. "Xander, you don't have to trust him. 
Just trust me." 

His head fell back as he stared at the ceiling. "What about Oz, Wills? He 
was worried sick about you?" 

Once again her eyes watered as she nodded. "I know, Xander. I talked to him 
out in the hall. I actually talked to his double about this and his double 
was right. There was something wrong with us if I kept straying. You, 
Spike...he knew this-he knew this before but just didn't want to deal with 
it. I guess I just kinda forced the issue." 

"Are you sure, Willow? Do you really trust him?" 

"With my life." 

"What about ours?" 

"That too. I trust him." 

                ~~~~~~~~end of chapter one~~~~~~~ 

Chapter Two 

Vampires usually don't dream. It's not that they can't-but the reasons 
behind dreaming are very human- 
psychological. So, when Spike found himself dreaming of the Slayer-he was 
quite taken aback. 

To say the least. 

Up until two weeks before, his unlife had not necessarily been easy, but 
had been predictable for the most 
part. At least according to Spike's standards. For the last hundred years, 
he had lived for his Dark Princess- 
caring for her-nurturing her and indulging her madness. And for the last 
thirty years, since Prague, he had 
taken care of her physical being as well. 

Even after his princess died, his life followed the normal paths of a 
master-vampire. He came back to 
Sunnydale, fell hopelessly in love with Willow and fought his sire for her 
affections. 

And then came his other self. 

Someone who looked exactly like him, talked like him, was him-but wasn't. 

His other self had changed. But then if he had to endure the pain of Dru's 
rejection coupled with paralysis 
and his sire's abuse, maybe he would've changed as well. At least that's 
what his other self said. 

The other Spike said a lot of other things about his world: the slayer- who 
looked exactly like his slayer, but 
fought with hope in her eyes, broke every rule ever made for slayers and 
lived a full life, despite her calling. 
And Spike got to meet and get to know (up close and personal) the other 
Willow; a human with a kind, gentle and accepting soul who managed to tame 
even his cold heart. 

His counterpart told Spike of a world where the Hellmouth had remained 
closed, the Master never rose and 
Angelus had been sent to Hell. A world where darkness still remained, but 
was balanced by the light. 

It was a world that Spike secretly wished he could live in. 

He didn't like winning this war between good and evil. He liked the battle 
and the chaos that each fight 
brought. He loved the taste of violence that seeped into the air-the thrill 
of victory within his grasp or the 
horror of defeat once it was ripped from his fingertips. 

That's where the challenge was-in the battle. Not in the win-never the win. 
If evil did win, the world would 
be dark and he would be no one- just a lowly peon in the echelons of Hell. 
Here, in this world, he was Spike, 
William the Bloody, Childe of Angelus, Order of Aurelius. 

He was somebody. 

So, within a two-week period of time, not only had Spike defied his sire by 
continuing to bed Willow and 
saving the human-Willow, but he had spent enough time with his sire's 
souled double and his other self, to 
prod him into questioning things...such as his loyalty to the Master and 
his sire, Angelus. And his insistence 
on remaining intimate with Willow, when she couldn't even make a choice 
between himself and Angelus. 

Even helping to perpetuate a war in which he was on the winning side but 
had no desire to see it reach its 
conclusion. 

And if that wasn't enough, he began lusting for a human lover. Not as a 
slave or a future meal-but as a 
mate, like his other self had with the human Willow. 

Gods, she was glorious. Her hot skin scorched his cool body-her blood 
burned him every time he took a 
precious sip. Her very essence touched him in a way that he had nearly 
forgotten about in the two hundred 
years he had been one of the night. 

It was the human Willow Spike had been thinking of when he had turned in 
for the day, which was why he 
had been so shocked to find himself dreaming of the Slayer. 

And it was a strange dream-more like flashes or scenes of a movie of her 
life. Snapshots of her growing up- 
pigtails to breasts to cheerleading outfits-to the day her watcher, the 
infamous Merrick found her. 

He saw he stake her first vampire-fight her calling, despite her own dreams 
and inner feelings. He watched as 
she witnessed Merrick die in her place and how she eventually faced Lothos, 
and staked him as well. The 
burning of school gym...the endless fights with her parents...their 
divorce... 

And then, that's where the dream got funny. 

Suddenly, he was seeing two lives, instead of one. A flash of a tired, 
almost beaten slayer facing death daily- 
alone. That shot was quickly replaced by another one of young, happy 
dark-blond slayer, with two friends by 
her side. Spike recognized her companions right off-having known their 
vampiric counterparts intimately: 
Xander and Willow. 

As each scene flashed before him, he began to understand the meaning...each 
life is a choice-a road taken 
or not taken-opportunities gained or lost-for the better or for the worse. 

When Spike had finally woken up, he wasn't nearly as shocked at finding 
himself somewhere different than 
where he went to sleep... 

Instead of being covered by his cool, satin sheets in his comfortable bed, 
he found himself propped up 
against a door, deep in the recesses of a doorway in an alley-the warm 
spring winds blowing in his face-in a 
world that wasn't his own. 

*** 

"Finally!" Spike yelled out as he ran over the Welcome to Sunnydale sign 
for the third time. Throwing the car 
in reverse, he backed up and pulled the car back onto the road-slamming it 
in drive, drumming the steering 
wheel with his fingers in time with the music blaring out of his speakers. 

His blood burned with anticipation the closer he came to his mate. The last 
24 hours had been tedious and 
nerve-wracking. All he could think about was Willow's warm body and how it 
would feel to have her wrap her legs around his waist as he slid into her 
hot, tight hole. 

Satan help him, he was as horny as sex-starved teenager staring at a naked 
woman's body. Damnit to hell, 
but nothing seemed to calm the lust and anxiety. Not feeding, not whacking 
off-not thinking about a naked 
Master going down on that imbecile of his, Luke-nothing could calm the 
raging hard-on he had for Willow. 

How the hell did he make it through the last 200 hundred years without her? 

It was like a fire that raged inside of his dead body-this need to have 
her. He felt incomplete-less than he 
was before, when she was by his side. Was it because he fed from her and 
not drained her? Or could it be 
something as simple as love? 

He didn't know and at this point, he really didn't give a shit. All he knew 
was he was only five minutes from 
her house and soon she would be in his arms again. 

And nothing beyond that seemed to matter. 

"I'm coming, Red," he whispered to himself as turned down Willow's street. 
"I'm coming home." 

*** 

Yawning, Willow re-read the spell for the tenth time and sighed softly. 

She was bored. 

And anxious. 

Ever since she had woken up earlier that morning, she felt antsy and 
nervous-as if something was missing in 
her life, but she had no idea what it was. 

It was driving her crazy. 

By the time school ended, she all but ran out of the building and headed 
straight over to Amy's father's 
house. Getting the key that was hidden under the flowerpot, she opened the 
door and went straight to her 
friend's bedroom. There, sitting in plain sight on her desk, was the 
witch's Book of Shadows. Taking a deep 
breath, Willow slowly opened the book while murmuring a small prayer to the 
goddess and nearly did a Snoopy dance when she noticed the once blank pages 
were now filled with Amy's familiar scrawl. 

The other Amy's verbal okay had done it. 

After gathering a change of clothes for her friend, she stuffed both the 
book and the garments into her 
backpack and left the house, locking the door behind her. 

She then returned back to school-wanting to show Giles the spell as well as 
going through the painful 
process of facing her friends. 

Luckily for her, she had managed to avoid any painful conversations with 
Xander, Buffy and Cordelia-but 
Willow was no fool. She knew that sooner or later, she would have to face 
them and Oz and deal with the 
consequences of her actions. 

She understood Buffy's misgivings and if the situation had been reversed, 
Willow knew she wouldn't have 
welcomed Spike with open arms. It was only logical that Buffy was wary-it 
was actually good that she felt 
that way. It kept everyone a bit safer. 

It was Xander that had Willow worried. 

Ever since Jesse had been turned, Xander was very cut and dry in his 
approach to vampires. Vampires were 
bad. Humans were good. Vampires must die. Humans must live. 

Simple, but not totally true. And besides, Willow thought it had more to do 
with Angel than anything else. Her friend had been so jealous of the 
souled-vampire for so long, that it clouded his judgment about vampires in 
general. 

Or maybe it was one of those things that vampires do-but in reverse. Spike 
admitted that before his deal 
with Buffy, he had never really looked at humans as anything other than a 
tasty food source. Maybe what 
Xander was doing was looking at all vampires as bad, so that was easier to 
kill them-less likely to get 
emotionally attached to something that could very well suck your blood out. 

Groaning, she tossed the book aside and fell back on the bed, staring at 
the ceiling as her mind continued to 
dredge up everything she really didn't feel like dealing with. 

First of all-there was her anxiety. More than once, Willow wondered if she 
was being affected by some weird 
vampire bite thingie-considering that in less than a week, she had been 
bitten by three different vampires. Or 
maybe it was because two of those said vampires weren't of this world and 
they left some sort of 
otherworld- ness with her. 

Or it could be that she just missed Spike a lot more than she had thought 
possible. 

Spike. 

Her heart jumped as her stomach fluttered, thinking of the way he had her 
feel. Safe, protected, loved-even 
understood. A true companion. What was she going to tell her mother? 
Goddess, she could just see Sheila's 
face when she brought Spike home to meet them. 

Willow chuckled softly, remembering her mother's reaction when she found 
out Willow was dating a musician. 

"Well mom, the musician's gone. I've moved on to better things. No more 
werewolves for me. Now it's 
vampires," she whispered to herself as she turned to her side to stare out 
the set of French doors. 

"Where are you, Spike?" she whispered to herself, unable to stop the errant 
tear from slipping out of her eye. 
"I miss you." 

*** 

Buffy leaned against the headstone and stared up into the starlit sky and 
sighed audibly as her mind once 
again went over the events of Willow and Angel's adventure into the 
alter-world. 

It was mind-boggling. 

Not only were Willow and Spike in love, but of all the crazy things, Angel 
gave it his okay. 

Buffy shook her head in amazement and prayed Angel had called this one 
right. Because, if he hadn't and 
Willow got hurt-heads were going to roll. And not just by Buffy's hand. For 
two hours, after Angel had walked 
Willow home, she had to listen to Xander scream, rage and yell and scream 
some more about Willow's 
involvement with the peroxide boy-wonder. 

And even though Buffy could understand his misgivings, by the end of the 
two hours, she was ready to stake 
Xander herself. He was so obtuse sometimes. Blinded by anger and 
prejudice-he was definitely of the school 
that couldn't see the forest for the trees. 

Xander knew, just like the rest of the Scooby Gang, that Spike-even at his 
most evil-was different than most 
vampires. He didn't do things because it was expected of him. He didn't 
follow the rules. He loved completely 
and fully-with all his demon heart. 

He was an anomaly in the vampire world, just like she was one as the 
slayer. 

Her eyes misted at that thought and found herself thinking about how alone 
she truly was. Not even in an 
alternate reality, was her other self like her. From what Willow had told 
her, the other Buffy was hard and 
cold- filled with anger and hatred. Willow went so far as to say the other 
Buffy reminded her of Faith in a 
sense-the way she kept apart from everyone else. Never allowing her shields 
to go down. Hate, instead of 
compassion, seemed to be the other Buffy's motivation. 

But she did fall in love with her Angel. A broken Angel, but still Angel. 

And he still lost his soul. 

*Some things never change,* Buffy thought to herself. Damn gypsies probably 
pulled that off in every world. 
What a thought. Multiple Angel/Angelus' cursed until they experienced one 
moment of true happiness... 

Groaning softly at herself, she purposely pushed away all thoughts of the 
curse from her mind and went back 
to thinking about the other Buffy. 

It was pretty obvious that her other self had dealt with her calling even 
worse than Buffy had. Maybe the 
Watchers weren't too far off in their attempts to find potential slayers 
before they were called-to prepare 
them for their eventual losses. Teach the young girls how to work alone and 
to not need anyone. Buffy knew, 
without a doubt, that if she hadn't had the continued support and love of 
Giles, Willow, Xander, her mother, 
and Angel- she would've become just as hard as Faith was now. 

Her friends and family were her strength. 

If what Buffy suspected about her other self was true, she didn't have the 
support and love in her life that 
Buffy had. 

Buffy knew that her friends were her lifeline. More than once in the past 
few years, she had whispered her 
thanks to God for giving her Xander, Willow, Giles and Angel. 

Without them, she would've given up a long time ago. 

The other Buffy was really, completely alone. 

Shivering slightly, Buffy sighed as she hopped off the headstone and headed 
out of the cemetery to her next 
stop-Oak Hill Cemetery. 

Although Buffy wasn't alone like her counterpart, her social life really 
could use a definite pick-me up. For a 
while, she had Faith to keep her company. The other slayer's defection hurt 
Buffy much more than she ever 
let on. Faith, like Angel, understood Buffy in a way that only someone who 
walked the fence between the 
light and dark could. 

And before Faith-well it had been a lonely nine months or so. 

It used to not be so bad-before Angel had lost his soul. Back then, he 
would patrol with her and keep her 
company-fill in the quiet times with flirtatious banter and wonderful 
smoochies. 

*But that was a long time ago,* she thought to herself as her eyes kept 
sweeping her surroundings. *Now 
I'm lucky if we can sit down and talk without all these *issues* coming in 
between us. Soul lossage, Hell, 
Angelus, sex...* 

Buffy had no idea where or what she and Angel were-even after all these 
months. She knew she loved him 
and he loved her, but was there a boy-girl type relationship there? Not 
really. They, as a couple, seemed to 
fall in this strange area of in between. Not dating, but not really, not 
dating. 

All Buffy knew was that it was a lonely way to go even if she had someone 
that loved her with all his heart. 
Smoochies were long ago jinxed and stashed into the 'not-a-good-idea' 
category-along with any type of 
affection for fear that it would lead to smoochies which in turn would lead 
to Angel getting a happy. After 
Angel and Buffy exposed Faith, communication between them diminished even 
further. 

And despite all of this, she knew without a doubt, that he still loved her 
and she still loved him. But what she 
didn't know was how much longer they could remain in this awful limbo they 
had been staying in for so long. 

Something had to break. Buffy just hoped it wasn't their restraint-the 
world did not need Angelus, the 
Scourge of Europe to become active again. 

And Buffy didn't need the emotional pain that came from killing him again 
either. 
  

        ~~~~~~end of part 2a~~~~~~ 

(part 2b) 

"Bloody fucking hell," a clipped, British accented voice echoed eerily in 
dark. "What the-" he muttered as his 
dark blue eyes fluttered open and found himself staring up into the open 
sky. 

Not only was he not at the same place he went to sleep at, but his mind was 
still muddled by those annoying 
dreams he had all day. 

About the slayer and her life. 

Why in hell was he bleeding dreaming about the slayer? 

Growling softly, he scrambled to his feet-immediately recognizing the area 
where he had been dumped at as 
the alley running behind the Bronze. 

But something was off. It just didn't feel right. 

He slowly turned around in a circle, taking in everything and by the time 
he stopped, he fell back against the 
wall, stunned. 

"Fucking hell," he muttered as he automatically felt his shirt pocket for 
his cigarettes only to discover that he 
wasn't wearing a shirt. His eyes widened comically as he looked down his 
body and only seeing a pair of black 
silk boxers and bare legs and feet. 

"Mother fuck!" he yelled as he twirled about again. He was bloody naked and 
by the Bronze. He was by the 
Bronze. But not his Bronze. This wasn't his world. Bloody hell fucking shit 
if he didn't get pulled into his other 
self's world, just like they had been pulled into his. Game face on, he 
began pacing the alley as his mind 
began grasping errant facts...Bronze. Something about the Bronze and 
Angelus...no Angel- his sire's souled 
double. When Angelus' other self was in Spike's world, didn't he stay in 
that apartment by the Bronze? 

"Yes!" Spike yelled as he took off in a run. And if he remembered Willow's 
directions right, the entrance was 
just down the alley and a half a block to his right. 

At least there, he could get a change of clothes. 

After he was clothed, he needed to feed and investigate. Find out what the 
fuck was going on and who he 
was going to have to kill to get back home. 

He ignored that little voice that asked him if that's really what he 
wanted. He was too peckish, tired and 
pissed to really think about it. 

Besides, his Willow was at home. And she was what he wanted, right? 

*** 

It was the gentle tapping on the glass at her door that pulled Willow out 
of her light sleep. 

Sitting up, her heart already racing uncontrollably, she looked over and 
smiled as she recognized who was 
standing on the other side of the glass. 

"Spike?" she asked, scrambling out of bed and running over to the doors. 

"Yeah love, it's me," he said as she threw the open and without preamble 
jumped into his arms. "Whoa-Red!" 
he said, laughing softly as she peppered soft kisses all around his face. 
"I take it you missed me?" he asked 
just before their lips met in a fiery kiss. 

"Um hmm," she whispered as she pulled back far enough to peer into his 
laughing eyes. "Missed you terribly," 
she said as she lifted a finger and traced his scarred eyebrow. She leaned 
in and kissed him again. "Miss me?" 

"Terribly," he said turning around and walking across the small balcony to 
lean against the house. "It was a 
long and lonely drive up here. I'm sorry it took so long. Bloody had a flat 
tire in the middle of the day. Had to 
pull over and take a snooze until it was safe to change it." 

Her arms curled around his neck and leaned her forehead against his. 
"That's okay-you're here now. That's all 
that matters." 

"So, are your parents gone?" 

She nodded yes, but her face fell slightly. "I don't think we should-you 
know-*do* anything here though. 
Xander's got a key and he was pissed when I told him everything. And it's 
like Grand Central Station when 
they're gone..." She looked down at him. "I just don't want to be 
interrupted." 

Taking an unneeded breath, he nodded slowly. "I've got an idea. Pack 
yourself a bag and bring your stuff for 
school tomorrow," he said as he dropped his hold on her, letting her legs 
slip down until she was standing on 
her own and guided her to the open doors. She walked through and he stood 
there, leaning against the 
doorway and watched her. "It may be a bit dusty-but the bomb shelter is 
still there." 

Her eyes lit up as she nodded enthusiastically. "I like that place-well, 
the other place, but that place. You 
know, right?" She suddenly frowned as she realized that he hadn't come 
inside yet. "Oh, I'm sorry. Come in, 
Spike," she said as waved him through. 

She watched as he walked through the doorway and plopped down on the 
bed-watching her pack her things. 

Five minutes later, she was finished and turned around to face him, 
instantly spotting Amy's Book of Shadows 
lying next to him. Grinning, she ran over and picked up the book. "It 
worked! The other Amy's verbal okay 
worked and now I can see the spells. I copied the one I needed down and 
showed it to Giles. We're going to 
de-rat Amy tomorrow night! Isn't that cool?" 

She watched as the blond vampire chuckled softly. "Come 'ere," he whispered 
as his hand caught hers and 
tugged her over to him. "Closer," he whispered once she was standing right 
night to him by the bed. 

Her heart racing, she leaned over to kiss him when his hands slid around 
her, pulling her on top of his hard 
body. "I don't know if I can wait, love," he whispered as his mouth suckled 
gently on her neck. "Twenty-four 
hours is a long time..." 

His cool fingers immediately slipped underneath her shirt, caressing her 
hot skin. Willow heard herself moan as 
her resolve weakened. Goddess, he was right. Twenty-four hours was a real 
long time, she thought to herself 
as his hand gently cupped her breast. Too long. 

*** 

Buffy wasn't sure what tipped her off that she was no longer alone. One 
moment, she was leaning against a 
mausoleum, her eyes scanning the graveyard in front of her-the next she 
felt a presence. 

A human presence. 

Her senses picked out the person long before she saw or heard them and 
pushed herself off the concrete and 
walked slowly towards it. 

"All right-whoever it is, don't you think it's a bit late to be playing in 
the cemetery?" Buffy called out, twirling 
the wooden stake in her hand. 

"All depends on who it is, B." 

"Faith," Buffy said, nodding at the slayer as her body tensed, ready for 
battle. "What brings you down to my 
neck of the woods? The mayor got you on grunge duty or something?" 

Snorting, Faith shook her head-her dark hair blowing in the wind. 
"Something like that." 

Buffy lifted an eyebrow as her stomach cramped slightly. "I see you brought 
some of your friends," Buffy said, 
her voice calm even though she felt a least a dozen vampires in the area. 
"Where are they?" 

The dark-haired slayer leaned against the headstone, bracing her hands on 
it as she studied Buffy. "Well B, 
it's like this-we have a problem and I'm hoping that you can help us out." 

"Us as in the Mayor and you?" 

Faith lifted an eyebrow. 

Buffy snorted as she shook her head. "Not likely," she said as she finally 
pinpointed where she felt the 
majority of vampires-they were off to her right-about ten yards away hiding 
in a mausoleum. 

*Damn,* she thought to herself. *The thing must have sewer access!* 

She leaned against one leg casually trying to peer over to the side... 

Faith's leg shot up and Buffy's hand caught it, flipping the other slayer 
over. 

Faith righted herself and landed on her feet. 

At least a dozen vampires poured out of the mausoleum as Buffy and Faith 
began fighting in earnest. 

*** 

Spike growled under his breath as he yanked his pants up and tightened the 
belt one more slot. "Bloody 
fucking sire is too fucking fat," he whispered to himself as he slipped the 
leather belt through the belt loop. "I 
hope I can find my other self around this fucking hell hole. At least then, 
I can get a decent set of threads." 

*But,* he silently amended, *at least the apartment was still there.* 
Although it looked like Angel hadn't 
been there in over a year, at least Spike found a change of clothes in the 
midst of all the dirt and dust. And 
lady luck was still with him when he found Angel's stash of cash- the 
fucking fool was nothing if not habitual. 
Spike couldn't help but thank Dru's stars that his souled-other-world-sire 
followed the same patterns as his 
own sire did. The money was located under a loose floorboard by the 
bed-Spike couldn't remember how many 
times that habit of Angelus' had gotten his ass out of a load of shit. 

 And he got to eat-that was always a good thing. The kid was pretty tasty 
too. He couldn't remember the 
 last time he gotten a taste of a human that wasn't totally touched by the 
darkness of the Hellmouth. In this 
 Sunnydale, because the thing was still closed, human blood still carried a 
kind of innocence that was like 
 ambrosia to the undead. The human Willow had it-despite her growing up on 
the Hellmouth. His last meal had 
 it as well. 

And the poor bloke had a full pack of cigarettes, which of course, Spike 
lifted from his dead body-knowing 
that the boy would have no further use for them. Marlboros to boot. 

Grinning, Spike lit a cigarette and found himself wandering into one of the 
many cemeteries in Sunnydale, 
instinctively drawn by sounds of fighting and the presence of not just one, 
but two slayers. If his quiet, clean 
surroundings hadn't been enough to convince him of where he was, the 
existence of two slayers was. 

Remembering what his other self and the human Willow told him about their 
world, he instantly spotted the 
two young women and just as he suspected, they were fighting one 
another-surrounded by a bunch of 
snarling vampires. 

*What a beautiful sight,* he thought to himself as he watched the two women 
exchange blows. Almost 
immediately, he could pick out differences between this blond slayer and 
his slayer in his world. Where his 
Buffy fought with the efficiency and coldness not too different from his 
kind, this slayer not only felt 
different, but fought differently as well. She improvised-seemingly using 
everything within her grasp to get 
the job done. Despite the fight with the other slayer, she had managed to 
dust at least four vampires that 
tried to step into the fight. The remaining fledglings stayed back and 
watched-lust emanating from the bodies 
as the mortal women each drew blood. 

Spike could feel himself hardening at that sight as well as flashes of his 
dreams that came to mind. The slayer 
facing the Master, Luke, Lothos- even himself. 

Shaking his head, he was brought back to the fight as he felt the tension 
level among the other vampires. He 
looked up to see the dark- haired slayer pull a knife out of her jacket and 
wave it in front of her. 

*Shit,* he thought to himself, cursing his luck. He had no idea what he 
should do. Normally, he would just 
join in on the fun-have himself a slayer-cocktail and go home. But this 
wasn't his world and the only people 
that could send him back were connected to the human Willow whose best 
friend was his slayer's double. Not 
to mention that as soon as he thought about drinking her blood, he pictured 
this slayer standing there with 
him talking to her mother-explaining to her that she and Spike were in a 
band... 

"Where the hell did that come from?" he asked himself, knowing that memory 
wasn't his own, but somehow 
feeling it was important for him to remember. He looked up to see the 
blonde slayer glaring over at the 
brunette. 

"Weapons, Faith? Are you scared?" the blond snapped as her foot shot out 
and kicked the other girl's leg, 
causing her to stumble. Unfortunately for Summers, the other slayer managed 
to keep her hold on the knife. 
"So the Mayor wants me dead, eh? And then what? Another will just gets 
called." 

Wincing in pain, the dark-haired slayer shook her head. "Didn't you know, 
B? No one's going to get called 
after you die. You've already died once-the line begins after I die. You 
just fall away into oblivion," the one 
called Faith said, grinning maliciously. 

"You lie, Faith. You're the useless one. You'll go down as the rogue slayer 
that couldn't even play at being 
evil right. You can't even fight me on your own-had to bring your little 
army in case you failed." Buffy snorted 
as she suddenly did a back flip and landed on a crypt behind her-and only a 
dozen feet in front of him. 
Making sure she didn't see him, he slipped behind a tree and watched as she 
shrugged her arm and a stake 
fell out into her hand. "So, you wanna know how Alan felt when you sunk 
your stake into his heart?" 

*She has spunk,* Spike thought to himself as he watched the blond survey 
the area. He ducked behind the 
tree and stayed there for nearly a minute. Once he was sure he was in the 
clear, he peeked out behind the 
bark, he let out an unneeded sigh as he watched the blonde stand there like 
a goddess-looking down at the 
other slayer. Just as he asked himself why the other slayer hadn't thrown 
the knife yet, she suddenly did. 
And just as quickly, Buffy caught it in her hands, turned it around and 
instantly threw it into the heart of a 
vampire that was making his way towards her. 

Unfortunately, the odds weren't in the blonde's favor. Suddenly, a shot 
rang out and Buffy stumbled 
backwards, falling off the crypt. 

Before he could even question himself or his sanity, Spike felt his legs 
move as he ran over to the blonde's 
body- crouched low so no one could see him. He quickly scooped up the 
unconscious body and took off in a 
preternatural run-leaving the cemetery-heading straight for Angel's empty 
apartment. 

He tried telling himself it was because she was his ticket home and into 
the Watcher's heart-so he could get 
back to his Willow. 

But somewhere inside of him, he knew that was just fooling himself. 

Whether it was the dreams he had the night before or the fact that here, in 
this world, he actually felt free, 
he didn't know-but something about this slayer tugged at him and his 
instincts screamed out that he needed 
her alive. 

It wasn't until he was nearly a quarter-mile away from where the slayer had 
fallen, that he heard the other 
slayer's scream of frustration as it rang through the night. 

Spike couldn't help but be amused. 

He just loved pissing people off. 

        ~~~~end of part 2b~~~~ 

(part 2c) 

Willow moaned, arching her lower body into her lover's cool wet embrace. 
"Oh Goddess, Spike..." she 
whispered as her body began spinning, pushing her closer to a climax. 

His blunt teeth caught her nubbin and he sucked hard. 

Willow screamed her release, her legs tightening their hold around his neck 
for nearly a minute as she rode 
out her climax. Finally, she relaxed and her legs fell on either side of 
her lover's. Grinning, he lifted his head 
and slowly inched his way up her body, stopping to kiss her stomach first 
and then each breast before finally 
settling himself in between her legs and his mouth above hers. 

"Liked that, eh Red?" 

Willow nibbled on her bottom lip and nodded. "What tipped you off?" 

His head dipped down and ran his tongue across her lips. "Maybe it was the 
earth-shattering scream that I 
heard despite your thighs squeezing my head," he whispered before nipping 
at her bottom lip. Willow felt a 
quick sting and a warm trickle of her blood curl on her lips. After his 
tongue lapped at the blood, he 
maneuvered his cock to her entrance. "Or maybe it was your sweet 
juices-their essence filled with your 
ecstasy-" 

Her eyes widened as she felt herself blush. It was a wonder she even 
remembered how to blush, she thought 
to herself. "You can *taste* that?" she asked, her voice nearly squeaking. 

His chest rumbled as he pushed the head of his cock inside her. "Yep," he 
answered, smirking at her 
embarrassment. 

*Damn vampires,* she thought to herself and suddenly gasped as he quickly 
thrust himself all the way inside 
her. Moaning, she lifted her legs and wrapped them around his cool, hard 
body, tugging him even further into 
her body. 

He groaned, his eyes flashing as his true face emerged-his golden eyes 
never leaving hers. "Willow," he 
whispered, his voice filled with awe and love. Willow leaned up and kissed 
him savagely, purposely cutting her 
lips on his fangs-feeling herself drawn to his demon. 

*This was what was missing,* she thought to herself seconds before she he 
sunk his fangs into her neck, 
causing her body to clench around him as she experienced her second orgasm. 
He quickly followed her, 
shooting his cold seed up her womb as he yelled out her name. 

"Home," she whispered as she hugged his body close to hers as he lapped the 
bite marks on her neck. "I'm 
finally home." 

Spike lifted his head, game-face still on, and met her eyes. "I love you, 
Red. You are home to me." 

Her eyes filled with tears as her face lit up with happiness. "So are you, 
Spike. So are you." 

*** 

"Hey Slayer-wake up, cutie. You've got to open your eyes," Spike said, as 
he shook the slayer's uninjured 
shoulder. Luckily for the chit, the vampire that shot her wasn't very good 
at aiming. If slayers healed like 
vampires, the girl should be fine once the bullet was removed. 

"Oh God that hurts! What train hit me?" she asked as her eyes fluttered 
open. 

"Not a train, ducks. A bullet." 

"Spike? What are you doing here? Not that I'm actually not happy to see 
you-but aren't you supposed to be 
over at Willow's? She's expecting you tonight." 

Spike grinned as he stood up. "I'm going to the bathroom and see if I can 
dig up a clean rag or something to 
clean you off-" 

"Where are we?" She asked, trying to sit up. 

"Slay-Bu-Slayer-quit it! You need to stay down or you going to bleed all 
over the bloody place-" 

"I-my God-why did you take me here?" 

Spike turned around, hearing the panic in her voice and was shocked to see 
her already pale face nearly turn 
gray. "What do you mean?" 

Her hazel eyes flashed at him and he swore he heard her growl back him. 
"You bastard! I can't deal with this 
now-I've got to get out of here!" With her uninjured arm, she pushed 
herself up into a sitting position and 
pulled her legs around to the side of the bed. 

Spike ran over to her to stop her from thrashing around and had to dodge a 
left hook. He grabbed her wrist, 
his eyes flashing as a multitude of cursing flooded his mind. *Bloody 
chit-do one good thing in 200 years and 
this is the thanks I get...* 

"Quit it! I didn't fucking save you for you to go back out there and die!" 

"I didn't ask you for your help!" 

"Well, fuck you-you're getting it!" 

She snorted as she shook her head. "Spike-I have no idea what kind of drugs 
you're on-but Willow's 
expecting you and you need to be with her so I don't fucking stake your 
ass!" 

He couldn't help it-he laughed. "I'm not your Spike," he told her in 
between chuckles. "So, get your panties 
out of that twist you got 'em in and deal with it!" 

He turned around and started for the bathroom. 

"Then whose Spike are you?" she asked quietly. 

"No one's. Not any more." 

"Huh?" 

Ignoring her, he went into the bathroom and yanked open the linen closet, 
grabbing three towels and 
washrag. After dropping the washrag into the sink, he turned on the hot 
water, relieved to see the water 
was still clear and turned his attention to the medicine cabinet. Just as 
he hoped, this Peaches had a wide 
array of first-aid items and Spike grabbed them all and dumped them into 
the towel. Once that was done, he 
turned off the water, grabbed the washcloth and wrung it with one hand. 
Grabbing the liquid soap and 
dropping it into the towel with the other items, he walked back into the 
bedroom to see a stunned slayer 
watching him carefully. 

Dropping the towels and supplies on the bed, he sat down next to her- 
facing her injured side. He dipped his 
head to look at the front of the shirt and growled softly when he noted it 
was a pull over. 

"What?" she asked when he stood up to head for the kitchen. 

He turned around. "I have to cut your shirt off you, Slayer, and 
unfortunately I don't have my trusty little 
knife with me-considering I was taken from my bed-" 

"What?" she asked again as she shook her head in confusion. "I must be 
really slow in the uptake tonight 
because you're-" Her eyes widened as it finally sunk in what he had told 
her earlier. "You're that other Spike- 
the one that bit Willow!" 

"Among other things," he added as he found a paring knife in the kitchen 
and tested its edge. A thin line of 
blood appeared on his pale wrist. Licking his wound, he turned back to the 
slayer glaring at him. 

"You bastard!" 

His eyebrow arched as a small smirked formed his lips. "And your point? 
She's fine-still alive and breathing, 
right?" 

"Yeah, but-" 

"But what? You can't tell me that you wouldn't be a bit curious-" 

"You forget-I already the pleasure of meeting the love of my life's 
alternate self. Not something that I want 
to do again." 

He dipped his head in concession. "Okay-good point." He walked over and sat 
down next to her and pinched 
the cloth of shirt and poked a hole through it with the knife. Once he had 
the hole made, he slid the knife in 
and began cutting the material-going upwards. "But you can't tell me if you 
had a chance to shag the human 
version of Peaches, you wouldn't be the least bit curious?" 

He heard her breath hitch as her skin turned a nice shade of pink. 

Chuckling, he nodded. "That's what I thought," he said as he slowly began 
peeling the shirt off her back. He 
nearly groaned when he spotted her nice, firm breasts. *Damn woman doesn't 
wear a bra in either dimension, 
* he thought to himself as forced himself not to respond. Once the shirt 
was cut off, he handed it to her and 
immediately, she held it up over her breasts by her good arm. 

"So, tell me, why are you here and more importantly, why in the hell did 
you save me? Not that I'm not 
grateful, because I am, but it just doesn't make any sense." 

Chuckling softly, he nodded in agreement as he began cleaning her wound. 
"No, it doesn't. I don't know what 
happened, pet. This morning, I was went to bed, in my newly renovated 
warehouse-wearing only my black 
silk boxers-wrapped in my black satin sheets-" 

"Black satin sheets?" 

"Love them," he said as his eyes dropped the set of sheets covering the 
bed. "Just like my sire does-in either 
world." 

Her eyes followed his and shut, but not before he could see a flash of pain 
cross them. After nearly a minute, 
she opened them and nodded to him. "Continue." 

He wondered what it was about this place that got to her so badly and 
silently noted to ask her about it 
sometime. *Probably has to do with Peaches,* he thought to himself before 
taking an unneeded breath to 
finish his tale. 

"I was still thinking about everything that had happened in the last few 
days. I actually was wondering what 
Angelus was going to do. I hadn't challenged him in a long time-and that's 
what I did when I showed up with 
your Spike and Angel to get your Willow out of there. Not to mention that 
my Willow and I had been seeing 
each other on the side since I had gotten there. And I'm pretty aggravated 
with Willow too. She can't bloody 
leave the prick alone. It's like he's got some sort of geis on her. Just 
like-" He stopped and shook his head. 

"Just like Dru?" 

He nodded once, ignoring the stab in his heart that always came when he 
thought about his Black Goddess. 
"And viola-I wake up, with only my boxers on, in that alley by the 
Bronze-but ironically, not in my world. In 
yours." 

He stopped and stared at the wound. Luckily, the bullet had gone completely 
through. "Should I try and 
stitch this up, or what?" 

She shook her head. "Nah, I'll have a scar either way. Might as well just 
wrap it up good and tight. It should 
be okay by tomorrow. At least mostly healed." She looked up and met his 
eyes. "So, why did you save me?" 

He shrugged, dropping his eyes. "Don't want to piss off your watcher, do I 
love? He's my ticket home." He 
suddenly looked up at her as a big grin curled his lips. "And there was the 
added bonus of hearing that other 
slayer scream when she found out you weren't there." 

Yawning, she let out a soft chuckle. "Too bad I missed that," she 
whispered, her eyes fluttering. Shaking her 
head, she pried her eyes open. "I need to get to the library and tell 
Giles." 

He shook his head. "You need to sleep." 

She pursed her lips as a frown formed on her lips. "Not here..." 

"Do you have a phone, slayer?" 

She shook her head. "Nope. Not even a pager. Stupid watcher's stuck in the 
sixth century. It's a wonder that 
Giles even knows how to drive..." Spike watched as she slowly fell over on 
to her uninjured side, eyes closed. 
"Just a few minutes," she whispered in between yawns. 

The vampire watched as the slayer's eyes finally shut and almost 
immediately her breathing slowed. 

Despite her protests, she did fall asleep. 

And Spike watched her. 

                ~~~~~~~~~~~end of chapter two~~~~~~~~~ 
  
Okay - another story note - This chapter is confusing unless you understand 

the order of POV's.  After this, the other Spike will have an alternative 
name. 
That makes things a lot easier.  So, here's the order of POVs. 

Other Spike 
Spike 
Willow 
Buffy 

Each time the scene's are divided, POV's change - in the order above. 
I tried to make it as unconfusing as possible, but apparently, it's 
still a bit muddled if you don't read it *real* carefully.  Note the 
emphasis--I'm probably the only one that can tell the difference and that's 
most likely because I wrote it! 

        ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

                                Chapter Three 
  
  
  
  

After an hour of watching her, he finally couldn't take it any more. 

Spike was sure he was losing it. 

In small increments, of course.  But he saw the signs-they were right 
there in front of him-lying peacefully on the poof's bed-bandaged by him- 
at peace in his presence. 

His presence. 

Spike, William the Bloody, favorite childe of Angelus-killer of two 
slayers- 
was watching over a slayer as she slept.  And all because of some 
fucked-up, whacked- out dreams that even now-hours after he had 
awoken-were still flashing in his mind. 

He knew why he had saved her.  What he wasn't too clear on was why 
he had bantered with her while cleaning her up or why he felt compelled 
to watch her sleep-to guard her. 

"Damn dreams," he muttered to himself as he stood up and began to 
pace the perimeter of Poof's apartment.  His eyes landed on a pad of 
paper and a pen, lying on the coffee table and suddenly he had an idea. 

Picking up the pen, he scribbled the slayer a note and set it by her head 
and quickly left the apartment. 

Twenty minutes later he was standing in front of what he hoped was 
Willow's house. 

Spike took one last drag off his cigarette and tossed it off to the side. 
After taking a deep, unneeded breath, he scrambled up the trellis and 
jumped over onto the balcony by Willow's bedroom. 

He really hoped that she still lived there. 

And if this was her house, he really, really hoped that it was her bedroom 
door he was standing in front of with his knuckles poised to knock on the 
glass. 

He couldn't help but wonder if his unlife could get anymore fucked up. 

*** 

*What the hell?* was Spike's first thought when he felt the familiar 
presence edging its way into his senses.  He looked down at Willow and 
couldn't stop the grin that curled his lips.  Her eyes closed and deep in 
sleep-her mouth curved in a satiated smile.  No matter how much neither 
of them wanted to get caught naked in her bed, they just couldn't seem 
to keep their hands off of one another once they were alone.  One 
coupling led to another which inevitably led to a third. 

She finally fell asleep-physically worn out by his vampiric endurance as 
well as her long, stressful day. 

*And now it's just going to get more stressful,* he thought to himself as 
he slipped out from underneath her and grabbed his jeans. 

Once he had his pants zipped, he grabbed his cigarettes and headed for 
the French doors, opening them before his counterpart could knock. 

Closing the door behind him, Spike heard his double curse under his 
breath and chuckled softly.  *Now the shoe's on the other foot,* Spike 
thought to himself as he took in his other self's appearance as the 
vampire paced the length of the balcony. 

*What in the world is he doing here?* Spike asked himself as he leaned 
against the house, studying the other Spike. 

It was instantly obvious that whatever spell brought Spike to this world, 
that it had been done while he had been asleep.  Why else would he be 
wearing the poof's clothes? 

Suddenly, his other self stopped muttering to himself and glared at Spike. 
"I suppose you had nothing to do with this?" He asked as he shook out a 
cigarette and lit it. 

Still grinning, Spike shook his head. 

"Bloody hell-it was my lovely prick of a sire then.  The arsehole took me 
from my bleeding bed in the middle of the day and dumped me in an alley 
by the Bronze!"  His double snarled as his true-face flashed.  "Luckily I 
landed in a fucking doorway-still asleep, mind you-or I would've been 
dust before I realized what had happened. And then, get this-I look for 
my cigarettes and realize that all I've got covering my lily white ass is a 
pair of boxers!  I'm just glad I didn't leave my brains back there as 
well-I 
remembered that Angel's apartment was nearby and thank Satan the 
blasted thing was still there.  Did you know the Poof left money there?" 

Spike couldn't help but snicker.  "Really?" he asked, his eyebrow shooting 
up.  "Under the floorboard by the bed?" 

Smirking, his double nodded.  "Stupid prick-I wonder how much money's 
he's left behind like that?" 

"Enough," Spike said as he looked out over the balcony.  "But, in this 
case, he wasn't quite himself." 

Frowning, his double nodded for him to go on. 

"It's where he lost his soul.  The slayer and he-" 

His double's eyes widened and Spike watched his face as he suddenly 
nodded.  "That's why she got so bloody pissy-" 

"Who?" 

Snapping his fingers, the other Spike turned to him.  "That's why I came 
here-well among other things-I was wandering around after I got a bite 
to eat and ended up in one of the cemeteries-Oak Hill, I think." 

Spike nodded, silently wondering if he should go and wake Willow up now 
or wait to hear what happened.  Remembering how peaceful she looked, 
he decided to wait.  "And?" 

"And guess what I run into?  Both slayers at each other's throats. Except 
the dark-haired one-Faith?" 

"Yeah, I think that's her name.  Never met her.  But Red hates her." 

"Well, Faith brought with her a dozen or so vampires with her.  And when 
she realized that the slayer wasn't going down, one of them shot her." 

Spike's mouth opened in shock.  Why hadn't he ever thought about that? 
He shook his head and realized it just wasn't his style.  It just seemed so 
impersonal.  "Is she dead?" 

His double shook his head.  "No, I did my one good deed of the century. I 
grabbed her.  No one saw me do it and I took her back to the poof's.  It 
was a clean shot through the shoulder.  She's okay and asleep in the 
poof's bed as we speak." 

Spike sighed as he flicked his cigarette over the balcony.  He should've 
woken up Red. 

"Bloody hell, Soulboy is going to have a fit."  He turned to the door and 
opened it.  "I'll go and wake Red up.  We'll go pick her up and take her to 
see the Watcher.  And while we're there, maybe he can figure out how 
to get you back home." 

His double nodded, relief evident in his face as he stared down at the 
street below him. "Spike?" 

"Yeah?" 

"I think he did something to me," his double said softly.  "Linked me here 
or something." He turned back and faced him. 

"Why?" 

Spike watched his other self shake his head, snarling quietly.  "Dreams," 
he spat out. "Dreams about here and the slayer-Buffy." 

"Fuck," Spike whispered as he shook his head. 

His double snorted as he nodded in agreement.  "My sentiments exactly, 
mate." 

                                *** 

"Red love, wake up-time for all beautiful witches to open their eyes." 

Yawning, Willow opened her eyes to see Spike sitting down next to her 
with his tee-shirt in hand. 

"Hi," she said, grinning. 

"Hi yourself," he said softly as he leaned forward and kissed her softly on 
the lips. 

"We've got trouble, love-so you need to get that cute little butt out of 
bed-" 

"Trouble?"  She sat up, yawning as she swung her legs around the other 
side of her bed. 

"What happened?" 

Spike chuckled as he pulled his shirt over his head.  After grabbing her 
underwear which was underneath his foot and tossing it over to her, he 
picked up his red shirt.  "On a couple of fronts.  Guess who's here for a 
visit?" 

Stepping into her panties, she shook her head. "I don't know-who?" she 
asked as she looked up to see him grinning lustily as her naked chest. 
Blushing, she quickly picked her shirt up.  "Spike, stop it or we'll never 
get out of here!" She glanced over at the clock and let out a sigh of 
relief.  It wasn't even midnight.  "At least it's still early. Thanks for 
letting 
me get some sleep." 

"You looked like you needed it," he said as he began lacing up his boots. 

"I did.  You said two fronts?"  She fell back on the bed and reached 
across it to grab her jeans-which were next to Spike.  "And who's here? 
Dru?" 

Standing up, he walked over to the duffel bag sitting on her desk.  "Have 
you finished with this?"  he asked her as he picked it up. 

She glanced up from zipping her pants and nodded.  "Everything's ready 
except Amy's Book of Shadows which is..." she trailed off as she flicked 
up her comforter and pulled the book out from underneath the material. 
Once facing him, she tossed it over and sat back down to put on her 
shoes as he stuffed it in the bag and zipped it up.  "Spike- who's here?" 

He dropped the bag down and leaned against her desk.  "My other self. 
He thinks Angelus did it." 

Willow felt her mouth drop open in shock.  He was the last person she 
had ever expected to see again.   "And what else?" she finally asked, 
ignoring the swirl of emotions inside of her. She didn't know how she felt 
about the other Spike.  The young, nearly virginal Willow part of her, 
still 
felt uncomfortable about him.  She didn't actually hate him- she just 
wasn't sure what she felt. 

He sighed as he turned his head to the balcony.  "He came upon the 
slayers fighting each other.  The other one-apparently wanted to take 
Buffy out and had some vampires with her. Buffy was shot-" 

"Oh my God!" 

"Red, she's okay.  He grabbed Buffy and got her out of there.  He said he 
wasn't even spotted.  She's at the poof's apartment asleep right now. 
He didn't know where else to take her." 

Willow stood up and grabbed her jacket and backpack and looked up at 
Spike.  "So, we're going to pick up Buffy?" 

Her lover nodded after shrugging his duster on.  After picking up the 
duffel bug, he walked over to the doors and turned the latch.  "Ready 
love?" 

Willow took a deep, calming breath and nodded.  "Ready." 

        ~~~~~~end of part 3a~~~~~ 

(part 3b) 

Buffy began turning over to her side, when a flash of hot pain shot 
through her body, waking her.  Groaning, she opened her eyes and felt a 
wave of panic flood her system. She was in Angel's apartment. 

"Oh God, not again," she whispered to herself, at first thinking that she 
was dreaming. 

And she did have this dream-frequently.  Herself, asleep in bed, Angel 
returning from wherever he went after they had made love to taunt her- 
hurt her. 

Then came the slow realization that this creature standing in front of 
her, buttoning his shirt, wasn't the same person that she had just lost 
her virginity to... 

That this vampire didn't love her. 

Buffy shook her head, trying to shake away the memory.  It did no good 
to dwell on things such as Angelus' return and his rejection of her.  All 
it 
did was reinforce how insecure she felt about sex and relationships in 
general.  It had been over a year since she had been held like that. 
Been made love to with infinite care and gentleness. 

Been over a year since she had felt like a woman. 

"Stop it, Summers," she muttered to herself as she picked up the piece 
of paper by her head.  Reading it, she felt her mouth open in shock it 
finally sunk in who had actually written the note. 

He even signed his name. 

Spike. 

*But not your Spike,* Buffy thought to herself as she re-read it. 

"Slayer... 

Went to get Willow.  Will be back. 

Spike" 

She heard herself snort in amusement as she shook her head.  Who 
would've ever thought that Spike would write her a note?  Not her, that's 
for sure. 

And it wasn't even her Spike.  It was the other world's Spike.  The same 
Spike that had slept with her Willow-despite her friend's wishes to the 
contrary.  And had drunk from her at that. 

"He's a demon, what do you expect?" Buffy asked herself out loud as she 
pushed her aching body up off the bed.  *The same demon that saved 
your butt tonight in the cemetery,* she snapped back at herself. 

"Oh wonderful, now I'm arguing with myself," she muttered softly as she 
replayed the conversation Spike and she had earlier that evening.  It was 
funny-she could see the difference in him-but not nearly as much as 
Willow and Angel had said there was.  The Spike who had saved her from 
her fate at Faith's hands, wasn't that much different from the Spike who 
had knocked out that cop the night the two enemies forged a shaky 
alliance to take down Angelus and save the world. 

Maybe the other Spike was changing as well. 

Groaning softly, she looked down at her chest and for the first time since 
she had woken up, noticed it was bare.  Panic filled her until she 
remembered that Spike had to cut off her shirt to clean her wound.  She 
glanced back at the bed and saw her torn tee-shirt crumbled by the 
edge of the mattress and let out a soft sigh in relief. Hopefully, she had 
been covered when Spike had been there. 

Walking over to Angel's closet, she pulled open the door with her good 
hand and began sorting through his shirts.  Pulling out a black, silk 
shirt, 
she slipped her good arm through the sleeve and draped the shirt over 
her injured shoulder and clasped the middle with her good hand-too tired 
to try and even button it yet. 

She'd just wait until there was a reason to, she told herself as her eyes 
scanned the room once more-looking for any evidence that Angel had 
changed something in the past year. Because, if he hadn't-it was just 
too creepy to contemplate. 

"God, I really hate this place," she mumbled as she walked out of the 
bedroom and into the kitchen. 

Just as in the bedroom, here in the kitchen nothing had changed as well. 
It was as if Angel had never come back here-leaving this apartment and 
his things forever to sit in the dust and pain of their last and only 
coupling.  *Was it like a shrine?* Buffy asked herself as her eyes noticed 
the empty coffee cup sitting on the counter.  Wasn't that the same cup 
she had used to drink out of that night-right before she crawled back to 
bed and into his waiting arms? 

She wondered if he had even bothered to clean out the refrigerator. 
Would there be old blood bags in there dated from a year ago last 
January? 

Shuddering, Buffy turned and left the room. 

The bathroom would be nice.  She didn't have too many memories of that 
room. 

*** 

Spike opened the door and waved his double and the human Willow 
inside.  He heard Willow gasp softly as her eyes took in the room and 
shuddered. 

"What is it, Red?" His double asked her, his arm wrapping around her 
shoulders, rubbing her arms. 

Frowning, Willow sighed as she looked up at Spike.  "He hasn't changed a 
thing, Spike. Everything is like it was.  No wonder she freaked when she 
realized you brought her here," Willow said, looking at him pointedly. 
"It's 
like a tomb or something." 

Spike sighed and rubbed his hand through his hair.  "Bloody figures," he 
whispered as he looked over at his double.  "Is the Ponce always like 
this?  So maudlin?" 

His double snickered as he nodded.  "Soulboy is nothing if not the 
epitome of guilt and remorse." 

"He doesn't like to forget his past," Willow added as she walked towards 
the bedroom. Suddenly she stopped and turned back towards both of 
them.  "She's not-" 

The bathroom door opened and out walked the slayer. She had one of 
Angel's shirts draped over her shoulders and unbuttoned, leaving her 
breasts barely covered by the silken material.  Her eyes landed on both 
Spikes and Spike had to chuckle as he caught the blush that spread from 
her neck, up to her face.  She whipped around and clutched the shirt by 
her free hand and finally just sighed loudly. 

"Figures this happens the one day all my bras are in the dirty clothes," 
she muttered to herself as she marched back into the bathroom and 
seconds later came out with a towel covering her chest.  Smirking at 
herself, she looked over at Willow.  "Hey Wills, thanks for coming by and 
getting me out of this shrine-" 

Willow walked over to her and clasped her uninjured elbow and led her to 
the bed.  "Are you okay?" 

Buffy nodded as her eyes landed on Spike.  "Yeah, thanks to Spike 2. 
What are we going to call you and how the hell did you get here?" 

Spike shrugged as he shook out a cigarette, trying to ignore the way the 
slayer's nose seemed to crinkle in an incredibly adorable way when she 
was confused.  *Bloody fucking dreams,* he thought to himself. 
*Making me a slayer's pup-just like Soulboy.* 

He looked up to see those big, hazel eyes staring at him, twinkling in 
amusement.  "I kinda like Spike, pet.  Been my name for over a hundred 
years-" 

"Well, it's been my name for that long as well and it is my world-" 

"We didn't make you change your name when you over at my world-" 

"Well, maybe we should've and then Willow wouldn't have trusted you 
and the Ponce so easily-" 

"Like that was my bloody fault.  I was supposed to wa-" 

"Time out!" Willow snapped, interrupting them.  Rubbing her temples, she 
glanced over to the slayer and sighed.  "I really hate my other self, you 
know that?  It's all her fault-even if she didn't do the spell brought the 
other Spike here-still she's the first one that used it." 

The slayer sighed, her face tired as her eyes closed.  "Wills, if you're 
going to get picky-we might as well blame you and Anya.  You two were 
the ones that brought her here first." 

"I know-but if Anya hadn't been that vengeance demon and Cordelia 
hadn't-" 

"-made the wish," Buffy paused as a soft laugh left her lips. 

"It's Cordy's fault!" They both said at the same time, laughing. 

"Mate, who the hell is Cordelia?" he asked his double. 

"The Prom Queen Bitch from Hell.  Am I right, Red?" 

Both Willow and Buffy nodded, still grinning. 

"Everything's always Cordy's fault," Buffy said as she pushed herself off 
the bed.  "If only because she tries to blame me for everything," Buffy 
added softly. She looked up at Spike as her forehead creased in thought. 
"What was your middle name?" 

Both of the Spikes' scarred eyebrows arched at the question. 

"No way, Slayer!  I hated my middle name when I was human and I sure 
as hell ain't using it now!" Spike snapped as he began pacing the length 
of the bedroom. 

"How 'bout Will or William, then?" Buffy asked softly. 

He stopped mid-pace and looked over at her, dipping his head in thought. 
"Can't stand William-doesn't fit me anymore.  I can live with Will, but 
don't you call Willow Wills?" 

Buffy shrugged, using one shoulder.  "It won't confuse me.  Will it you, 
Willow?" 

The redhead shook her head.  "No, the only people that call me Wills are 
you and Xander. And sometimes Angel.  I can deal." 

"Good, then Will it is.  Now that that's taken care of-can we get out of 
here?" 

Willow chuckled softly as she stood up and walked over to Buffy.  "We 
were planning on taking you to Giles'.  Is that all right?" 

"Just peachy.  I'm sure he'll be thrilled that now I have to wear Kevlar 
vests on my nightly patrols," she said tiredly.  "I just wish-"  she 
stopped 
and shook her head. 

Will found himself wondering what exactly the slayer was wishing and 
then shook his head when he realized that once again his thoughts were 
about the slayer. 

Buffy walked over to the front door and opened it.  "Ready?" 

"Ready," Willow said as she took her lover's hand and followed the slayer 
out of the apartment. 

Will took one more look at the dusty tomb-like apartment that once 
housed his sire's double and sighed silently.  If he was going to be stuck 
here for any length of time, he was going to have to do something about 
the decor. 

They were right-it was a shrine. 

A shrine to something no longer attainable, but always desired-Buffy. 

And for some odd reason, he didn't want to be reminded of that. 

Not at all. 

*** 

Spike pulled into the school's parking lot and parked the DeSoto by the 
emergency entrance that he knew Willow and her friends used to visit 
the school after-hours. 

It helped that he had spent many hours studying the enemy, so to 
speak.  Especially now that he was no longer interested in killing the 
slayer and her crew-and was really interested in keeping Willow alive for 
a very long time-in one state or another. 

Before he could even turn the car off, the back doors flew open and both 
his double and the slayer stepped out of the car.  He felt his lips curl as 
he watched the two-never noticing how much he and the slayer were 
alike until he had the Hellmouthy experience of watching his double 
interact with her. 

He glanced over at Willow and noticed her smile as well.  Grabbing her 
hand, he tugged her over and slipped his arm around her small body. 
"Have you been watching those two, Red?" 

She giggled softly.  "Yeah, what's the deal with Sp-I mean with Will?  In 
a way I can understand Buffy treating him decently-he's never personally 
harmed her.  And he did save her life-but he hated the other Buffy." 

After kissing her temple, he opened his door and stood up, waving Willow 
out.  Once they were both standing, he pulled out a cigarette and lit it- 
staring at the swinging double doors that Will and Buffy had just entered. 

"He thinks that it was part of the spell that was used to bring him here. 
He had dreams about her all during the day," Spike said quietly, silently 
sympathizing with his other self.  "He didn't think they were normal 
dreams." 

Willow looked up at him as they started walking up towards the school. 
"Dreams?  That doesn't make sense.  And besides, if Willow didn't do this, 
who did?" 

Spike shrugged as held open the door for Willow.  He followed her, letting 
it close behind him.  "He thinks it was Angelus." 

"I knew that Angel was familiar with magic, but he's not that strong of a 
practitioner," Willow said.  "All the more reason to de-rat Amy tomorrow 
night.  Maybe she can figure out what kind of spell was used.  Do you 
think he's got a soul?" 

Spike chuckled as he shook his head.  "No, love, no soul.  It's more like 
he's more like me. Maybe, it was a different spell than what was used on 
us-that somehow is forcing him to comply to this world's rules.  Hell, I 
don't know, Red.  I feel like I'm watching a DS9 episode." 

Willow giggled as her nodded in agreement.  "You too?  Especially when I 
met my other self. I couldn't help but feel like Kira or Spock in that 
alternative universe." 

"I'm not that much different, though." 

"Yeah, you are.  Angel actually told everyone last night that if he hadn't 
met the other Spike and dealt with him and you-he would've done a lot 
more to keep us apart.  It was seeing you and Will together that 
convinced him that you had changed." 

Tossing his cigarette down, Spike stopped at the library doors and looked 
down at Willow. "Think about it love, is he that much different than me 
now? Remember, you could tell the difference just from looking in his 
eyes.  Are his eyes different now?" 

Willow shook her head.  "That's not quite right any more.  His eyes 
changed once that happened between us.  Maybe his experiences with 
us-and you talking to him and telling him about this world, opened his 
eyes." 


"No, that's not enough, Red.  It took five months of being paralyzed in a 
wheelchair all the while being abused by Angelus and seeing Dru and him 
rutting like a couple of dogs in heat for me to change," he stopped and 
wrapped both arms around her waist. "I can't believe a couple of talking- 
to's and a night of hot, mortal sex could change him- not that you aren't 
amazing in the sack, but-" 

Smirking, Willow stood on her tip-toes and kissed him, effectively 
silencing him.  "You better stop while you're ahead, Blondie," she 
whispered against his lips. Spike nearly growled when he felt her hot 
tongue slip through his lips.  Instantly deepening the kiss, his arms 
tightened around her as he felt himself harden in desire. 

"Bloody witch-if you don't stop it, I'm going to drag you into the first 
empty room and shag you senseless-" 

Pouting, Willow pulled back and smiled.  "Sorry." 

Spike couldn't help but laugh at her facial expression, flashing back to 
his 
lover's leather clad double.  "Red, are you sure you didn't bring that 
bustier back over with you?" 

Willow backed out of his arms and smacked him playfully in the gut.  "I 
can't believe you said that!"  She grabbed his arm and pushed open the 
library doors. "Come on, they're waiting!" 

Unable to wipe the smile off his face, Spike followed Willow into the 
library-feeling totally unrepentant. 

*Damn, it's good to be alive,* he thought to himself as he watched her 
jean covered behind move sensually in front of him.  He really did love 
her.  He still couldn't believe it. 

        ~~~~end of part 3b~~~ 

(part 3c) 

Sipping a caffeine free soda, Willow watched as Giles fussed over Buffy, 
nodding approvingly at Will's bandaging.  He leaned back and looked up 
at Buffy.  "Do you want me to stitch that up for you?  I might be able to 
lessen the scarring." 

She nodded.  "Might as well.  I would like to wear a sleeveless shirt this 
summer." She shrugged off the shirt, making sure the towel she had 
taken from Angel's apartment was still covering her breasts.  "What are 
we going to do about Faith, Giles?" 

Looking up from the needle and thread, Giles sighed.  "I really don't know, 
Buffy. Normally, the Council would deal with a rogue slayer, but 
considering how she managed to free herself the last time they got their 
hands on her, I doubt they will even bother now." 

"But Giles, that was before-before she actually began working with the 
mayor.  Now that we know she's in cohorts with a demon-wannabe, 
doesn't that count for something?" Willow asked, feeling incredibly 
helpless at the idea of an armed Faith wandering around Sunnydale. 
"And she was with vampires with the full intent to murder Buffy!" 

He sighed again, dropping his hands.  "I know that Willow.  But I also 
know the Council. They don't take their losses very well.  Or 
embarrassment.  They may just ignore the whole Sunnydale mess until 
one or both slayers end up dead." 

"Well, we have to do something!" 

"I agree.  Now that all three of you have been targeted, I think we 
should all be on our toes for more attacks." 

Willow felt Spike stiffen as he turned to look at her.  She nearly flinched 
at his angry expression.  "What?" 

"Why didn't you ever tell me that the Mayor tried to kill you?" 

Willow couldn't stop herself from rolling her eyes at him as she let out a 
soft laugh.  "I didn't think it was a big deal, Spike.  I mean how many 
times did you try kill one or all of us last year?  It's part of the job 
description," she added softly.  "Besides, I can wield a pretty mean 
pencil.  I actually staked a vampire in the Mayor's office with one!" 

"Red, that's not funny.  It was different last year-" 

Grinning, she shook her head.  "Yeah, it was you.  That's what was 
different.  He's just following the script.  The same script we all read 
and 
follow.  Bad guys want to kill the good guys and the good guys want to 
kill the bad guys.  And that's just the way it is," she ended softly, 
looking 
over at Buffy-silently asking her for her support. 

And of course, Buffy just shook her head at Willow.  "He's right, Wills. 
You shouldn't be involved with any of this.  If I could stop you, Xander, 
Oz and Cordelia, I would." She looked over at Spike.  "But Spike, I can't. 
I've tried for two years and they won't quit. Ever seen Willow's infamous 
'resolve' face?  Or Xander's stubborn, self- righteous glare? Or Oz's 
seemingly unaffected insistence on being involved regardless of the 
consequences. And Cordy's the best.  She may complain continually, but 
if it wasn't for her, Willow and I would've been burnt at the stake just a 
couple of months ago."  Buffy chuckled softly as she looked down at the 
floor for a moment before meeting Spike's softening glare.  "Cordy 
actually managed to scare the beejees out of Lyle Gorch with a spatula. 
Scared him right out of town.  So, as much as I hate my friends getting 
hurt, I can't stop them.  And hearing about my other self,  I wonder if I 
should," she added softly. 

Willow saw Will's head shoot up and look over at Buffy-his blue eyes 
intense as he appeared to be thinking about something.  Suddenly, he 
looked over at Spike and nodded in agreement. 

"She's right, mate.  Think about the other slayer and think about my 
world and then look at yours." 

Scowling, Spike shot out of his chair and lit a cigarette.  "You don't 
think 
I haven't realized that myself?" He asked incredulously.  "But it's 
different 
now. It's Red's life-not just one of the slayer's flunkies that seem to 
make my unlife miserable." 

Willow stood up and walked in front of Spike.  "Spike-" she started until 
she managed to look into his eyes and see a flickering of fear for her 
flash before her. She reached over and grasped his arms, stilling him and 
gave him a small smile.  "I'm sorry to worry you," she whispered before 
kissing him chastely on the lips. 

Chuckling softly at himself, he shook his head as he pulled her into his 
arms.  "It's just that you're mortal, love.  Everytime I think about 
that..." 
he left the sentence unfinished, but Willow could feel his body shudder in 
her arms.  She wished there was something she could do to ease his 
fears, but there wasn't.  He was right.  She was mortal. And she could 
just as easily die by a hit and run driver, or a fall down the stairs as by 
an evil slayer following the orders of her boss, a demon wannabe.  She 
knew that Spike wouldn't realize that-being immortal for so long-but it 
was the reality of her life. All she had to do was remember the massacre 
in the AV lab she walked into two years before or Ms. Calendar's coffin 
as it was lowered into the earth.  Or the ache that she still felt-two 
years later-from Jesse's absence in her life. 

That's why she fought with Buffy-for all those losses that she had 
suffered and for all the lives she helped to save. 

But for all the things she loved about Spike, she knew he wouldn't 
understand her reasons. They were too human-too soulful for a soulless 
vampire to comprehend-no matter how much he might love her.  He 
could understand the need for self-preservation and saving those he 
loved- but her reasons were just too altruistic for him. 

Sighing, she tightened her arms and then released her hold.  Once she 
stepped back, she took his hand and led him back to the table.  Once 
they were both seated, he pulled her chair over to his and draped his 
arms over the back of her seat onto her shoulders, gently massaging her 
tired muscles. 

As she watched Giles quietly stitch Buffy up, Willow wondered how much 
longer Spike would tolerate her mortal existence before he gave into his 
nature and turned her-regardless of the clause in the curse.  She saw 
the desperation in his eyes-his need to keep her with him at all costs- 
and knew without a doubt, that sooner or later, he would succumb to it. 

Willow just hoped she found a way to permanently anchor her soul before 
that happened. Another vampire Willow was just too horrific to 
contemplate. 

*** 

Once Buffy had seen Giles thread the needle, she closed her eyes and 
clenched the stake she had her free hand-hoping she wouldn't break it 
too soon. 

At least not until he was finished sewing up her wound. 

She hated needles. 

More than once, she wondered how she could face the horrors of the 
Hellmouth and her calling and deal with it with such ease, and yet see a 
needle heading towards her, and she was literally shaking. 

"Buffy, be still," Giles chided softly. 

"I'm trying," she ground out in between her clenched teeth as she felt 
the familiar prick, sending her nerve endings into an uproar.  "Hurry 
Giles, 
before I decide to just live with the scar." 

Thankfully, neither of the Spikes decided to comment on her obvious 
vulnerabilty, but Buffy couldn't help but wonder if they were filing the 
information for future use.  *Great, I can see it.  In five years, it'll be 
death by needles...* 

She actually shuddered at the thought. 

"Buffy." 

"Sorry," she whispered as her hold on the stake tightened.  Would she 
break it this time? She asked herself as she tried taking her mind off the 
needle sinking into her flesh.  What to think about...Spike's reaction, she 
thought to herself.  That was sure interesting. Funny how short 
memories were when someone changed sides.  But had he changed 
sides, she asked herself.  Maybe it's just some scheme to get us to drop 
our defenses? 

She thought about that for a few minutes and shook her head.  No, no 
matter how much she didn't trust Spike when it came to her own life-or 
anyone else's-when it came to Willow, she could tell instantly that the 
blond vampire was definitely in love with her best friend. 

Buffy could see it in everything he did.  From the looks they shot one 
another-to his constant need to touch her as if to make sure she was 
really there, by his side.  To his eyes every time they looked at her. 

He was as besotted with Willow as Oz was-if not more. 

And from what Angel had said, he loved Willow-the human Willow-the 
Willow with a soul.  So at least her friend was in no danger of becoming a 
member of the undead as long as the curse had the happiness clause. 

Her mind turned to the other Spike and she found herself smiling 
inwardly.  He was a strange cookie, she thought to herself, remembering 
how many times this night she had felt his eyes on her-watching her- 
studying her.  It kind of reminded the slayer of Angel in the beginning- 
when she had finally realized what it meant to be the center of someone 
else's world... 

Her eyes shot open and she found herself meeting Will's intense gaze. 

*What in God's name are you thinking, girl?* she asked herself as she 
felt her face flush in embarrassment.  The corners of his eyes crinkled in 
amusement as if he had been reading her thoughts.  Dropping her eyes 
from his, she looked over to the side to the book cases and sighed 
softly.  She so did not need this-not another vampire-and Spike no less! 
Groaning softly, she wished she could bang her head on the table and 
knock some sense into it.  Why was she even contemplating this?  Just 
because Wills got herself a Spike, didn't mean she had to! 

"All done," Giles said as he stood up and gathered the first aid supplies. 

"Thank God," muttered Buffy as gathered the shirt in her hand and tried 
buttoning with one hand.  After nearly a minute, she cursed under her 
breath and glanced up at Willow.  "Can you?" 

Willow nodded, pulled away from Spike and kneeled down in front of 
Buffy.  "Are you okay?" her friend asked her softly as her fingers deftly 
worked the fastenings of Angel's shirt. Rolling her eyes, Buffy managed to 
shrug.  "Just tired." 

"All done," she said as she stood up and fell back into her chair. 

Pointedly ignoring the vampire of her thoughts, Buffy looked across her 
shoulder towards Giles.  "So Giles, what do you think happened with 
Will?" 

Giles walked over to the table and leaned against a bookcase.  "You 
mean-" 

"Spike-the new Spike.  We decided to call him Will, so we knew who we 
were talking about." 

He took off his glasses and rubbed his eyes.  "It's a spell, no doubt.  But 
which one, I have no idea."  He sighed.  "And to be perfectly honest, I 
don't know if we can spend the amount of time it would take to find out- 
at least not until after the Ascension." 

Buffy heard Will scowl loudly as he pushed back his chair and stood up. 
"Bloody hell. What am I supposed to do until then?" 

"Maybe Amy can help us-once she's back from being a rat," Willow 
offered softly. 

Buffy yawned as she nodded at Willow's suggestion.  "Why don't we 
sleep on it and talk tomorrow during free hour?"  Buffy asked quietly as 
she stood up.  "I don't know about the rest of you people, but I'm 
exhausted.  I've been up since six-thirty this morning and actually got 
shot tonight.  I need to go to bed." 

"Buffy, I need to make a stop at the ladies room.  Walk with me?" 

Buffy nodded.  "We'll meet you guys in the hall.  Good night, Giles." 

"Good night.  And Buffy, be careful.  Remember Faith can try and kill you 
just as well in the daylight as at nighttime." 

"Thanks Giles, I'm sure I'll have sweet dreams now," Buffy muttered as 
she followed Willow out of the library. 

Just what she needed-fuzzy feelings about a Spike-double and the 
constant reminder of Faith's nefarious attentions. 

*What a wonderful day this turned out to be,* she thought to herself. 

*** 

"Watcher?" 

Will watched as the man looked over at Spike and sigh.  "Yes Spike, what 
is it?" 

"There's more to this spell than what happened with Willow and I." 

"What are you talking about?" 

Will growled a warning in his double's direction.  "Don't do it, mate." 

Spike shook his head.  "He should know.  It may be the key to sending 
you home." 

"What a bloody fucking mess my unlife is turning out to be," Will muttered 
as he lit a cigarette.  Once he took a deep drag off it, he turned back to 
Giles.  "It's like this, mate.  All day long, I had dreams. Now, I don't 
know 
if you know this, but vampires don't usually dream.  So, that in itself was 
unusual." 

Will could see the watcher's interest piqued as he stood up and walked 
over to the table. 

"Go on, what else?  What were they about?" 

"The slayer.  Both Buffys at first-but it ended up being about your 
slayer."  Will turned away from both men and began pacing-trying to 
ignore his rising embarrassment at the whole predicament.  A vampire 
having dreams about the slayer. 

"What kind of dreams?" the watcher asked, his face paling at the 
implications. 

Will stopped and glared at the human.  "Not that bloody kind!  They were 
about her life-before she was called and afterwards.  I-they were 
strange.  Other than a few fights, up until those three ended up in our 
world, I never had any dealings with her.  Angelus and Willow were the 
ones that liked to play with her.  I just sat back and watched.  Why me? 
If any vampire should be dreaming about her, it should be him!" he said 
as he pointed at Spike.  "He's the one that had that alliance with her. 
He's fought her and got his ass beat by her repeatedly.  Me?  Nothing!" 

"Oh dear," Giles whispered as he rubbed his temples.  "I'll look into it 
tonight.  You were right, Spike.  This is important." 

Just then, the object of his dreams stuck her head in the doorway. 
"Come on, you guys! Wills and are falling asleep out here!" 

Will growled at the slayer and turned back to Giles.  "You'll see if you 
can 
find something then?" 

"Yes," the man said as he nodded.  "Does Willow know about this?" Giles 
asked his double. 

Smirking, Spike nodded yes. 

Had he always been that much of a smart-ass, Will asked himself as he 
marched past his other self towards the exit.  Because if he was, he was 
really irritating. 

Hearing Spike's laughter behind him only seemed to reiterate the fact. 

Bloody prick, Spike thought to himself, feeling his demon rise.  He really 
needed to knock a few heads in.  Put things in perspective, you know? 

        ~~~~end of chapter three~~~ 
  

Chapter Four 
  
  
  
  
  
  

"He's here?  Now?" 

Giles nodded, watching the dark-haired vampire warily. 

"Where?" Angel asked. 

The watcher cleared his throat.  "I do believe he's staying at your old 
apartment.  At least that's where he took Buffy once he saved her from 
Faith." 

Angel stood there, in the shadows, with his hands on his hips as he 
stared into the dark room.  "And did he say why he saved her?" 

Giles could feel his anxiety level rise.  He had no idea how to tell Angel 
what the other Spike had said or even if he should.  All it would do was 
cause undue anxiety on Angel's part.  But if the other Spike - or Will, as 
he wanted to be called now - was lying, then Angel might be the only 
one that could protect her.  Sighing, he pinched the bridge of his nose 
and leaned against the arm of the couch. "He said it was because Buffy 
was Willow's friend.  And if he wanted to get back to his world, he 
needed to remain in Willow's good graces or something of the sort." 

"That's not all of it, is it?" 

Sometimes Giles hated the vampire's perceptiveness.  "No, that's not all 
of it, as you say.  There's more.  Although he didn't say that was the 
reason he saved her, I could see that it played a part." 

Angel frowned at him.  "Well?" 

"It appears that Will-" 

"Will?" 

"Oh yes, that's what Buffy and Willow decided to call him so that there 
was no confusion as to which Spike everyone was talking about -- or to 
for that matter," Giles said as he rubbed his eyes.  *Which Spike?  Lord, 
if the Council could see him now.  Consorting with not just one vampire, 
but three of them.  And two of those had no souls.  Whatever happened 
to just staking the bastards?*  Calming himself, Giles took a deep breath 
and continued.  "It appears that there may be more to the spell that 
brought him here than the ones that we and the other Willow used.  He 
had dreams all day yesterday about Buffy-both Buffys to be exact. 
Until their lives diverged, and then his dreams were mostly of our Buffy. 
He said he saw her life-almost as if he were watching it as it went by. 
He was quite disturbed by it.   He said vampires don't usually dream." 

"They don't," Angel said, his voice strained.  "Demons-or at least our 
type of demons-have no need for dreams.  Dreams are a product of 
having a soul." 

"So, you dream?" 

Angel nodded once, his body tensing in thought.  "Once I was cursed, it 
seemed that all I did was dream.  Of my actions-the lives-the blood," 
the vampire said as he looked up and met Giles' eyes.  "And once the 
curse was broken, the nightmares stopped." 

Giles shifted nervously as he listened to Angel's confession.  Everything 
about last spring just made him uncomfortable.  There had been a time 
when he considered Angel a friend, a confidant.  The vampire losing his 
soul had destroyed the trust that had taken nearly two years to build. 
Every time the watcher felt his walls begin to crumble, a picture of 
Jenny, neck broken, lying invitingly on his bed, flashed through his 
mind-reminding him of what that friendship had cost him. 

"Giles?" 

"Um yes, Angel?" 

"Whistler stopped by last night," Angel said softly, looking down at the 
floor.  "He says that I should leave...that my redemption no longer lies 
with Buffy."  He lifted his eyes and for a just a moment, Giles got a 
glimpse of all the pain and sorrow the vampire carried with him in his 
soul. 

It was a frightening sight. 

"Do you think I should leave?" 

A part of Giles wanted to scream, 'YES!' and do the jig in celebration. 
Giles was no fool when it came to Angel and Buffy; it was just a matter of 
time until they gave in to their desires.  Every time he saw them 
together, he could feel their love...their passion for one another.  One of 

the true ironies of the universe was the love that his charge and the 
vampire shared - a love that, if consummated, could destroy everything 
that both of them held dear. 

It was amazing that they had managed to withhold their affections for as 
long as they had.  Buffy and Angel's self control was amazing.  Giles 
always wondered if he would've been able to do the same under the 
circumstances. 

In his really honest moments, Giles knew he would not have been able. 
Ripper was too much a part of him to be denied...especially when it 
came to the matters of the heart. 

But on the other hand, if Angel left, who would protect Buffy?  Giles had 
no supernatural strength or stamina of his own.  And neither did Willow 
or Xander.  Angel, for all the problems and obstacles his presence 
brought, had protected and guarded Buffy's life so many times that Giles 
had lost count. 

And not just Buffy's.  His own life was Angel's, as well as Willow, Xander, 

Oz, Cordelia-everyone in their small group owed the vampire their life. 
If Angel left, how much longer would any of them actually survive? 

Cursing, Giles finally just shrugged.  "I don't know, Angel.  I guess 
that's 
up to you," Giles said softly, not voicing what both of them were asking 
themselves.  How long could Angel resist Buffy?  How long could he 
continue to be there for her and yet never touch her like the lover he 
obviously was?  How long? 

Angel chuckled softly.  "I was afraid you were going to say that." 
Growling softly, the vampire began pacing in the dark.  "I-I don't want 
to leave her, Giles.  But...but I don't know how long I can stay either." 

Giles picked up his jacket and held it to his chest.  "Well, like 
everything 
else that has come up in the past couple of weeks, it's rather a moot 
point if we don't survive graduation, don't you think?  Why not make 
your decision then, Angel?" 

The footsteps stilled.  "You're right.  I said the same to Whistler.  I 
just 
thought you should know." 

"Well then, thank you.  I must be going or the Troll will notice I'm not 
there and dock me another day's pay.  How that man got to be principal 
is beyond me," Giles said as he slipped his coat on. 

"One word:  Wilkins." 

"How true.  Good day, Angel." 

"Bye Giles." 

Giles turned and walked across the room, silently wondering when he 
was ever going to find the courage to go further into the house that had 
witnessed his torture at the hands of the same demon that resided in 
Angel's body, than the front living area.  Nearly nine months had passed 
and he still hadn't managed it. 

As he closed the door behind and walked to his car, Giles knew that it 
would be long time before he would ever be able to trust Angel.  The 
ache in his hands and his heart would always be there to remind him 
never to misplace that trust again. 

*** 

Willow sighed softly as she looked across the lunch table and watched 
Buffy. 

She was worried about her friend.  Other than a few offhand comments 
about Faith's ineptness at killing her, she hadn't said anything of the 
night before.  She left that honor to Willow. 

And considering how shaky the ground Willow was walking on when it 
came to Xander, it was not a dubious honor.  As soon as Xander heard 
that Sunnydale had not one, but two Spikes residing in its midst, his 
mouth hadn't stopped since.  Xander was in true form that day. 

Yawning, Willow turned back to her hamburger and once again thought 
of the dream she had the night before. 

It was definitely of the Hellmouth variety and yet, Willow found herself 
reluctant to share it with anyone yet-it was just too freaky for words. 
But, if it was really her double that had come and spoken to her, and 
not some warped unconscious re-write of a DS9 episode in her mind, 
than it was really in the best interest of everyone that Willow did share. 

Once decided, she looked up from her plate and leaned over the table. 
"Buffy.  Xander." 

Both of her friends looked up at her. 

"Yeah Wills?" 

"What's up?" Buffy asked. 

"We need to go to the library.  I had a weird dream last night-I think it 
was important." 

Buffy stood up and grabbed her backpack.  "What kind of dream?" she 
asked as she walked around the table. 

"It was of Willow-the other Willow," she said softly. 

Xander groaned.  "Why in the hell can't she leave us alone?  I mean first 
she zaps you-" 

"Xander-please?" 

Buffy grabbed Xander's arm and hooked hers around his.  "Come on, 
Xan Man, can't you see you're driving Willow crazy?" 

"Me?  How 'bout them?  They're the ones that can't seem to stay in the 
right world." 

Willow could only shake her head, silently agreeing with him.  It did 
appear that way, didn't it? 

        ~~~~end of part 4a~~~~ 

"So, what did the Skanky Ho have to say this time?" Buffy asked as she 
hopped up on top of the check-in counter.  "Let me guess-she misses 
Will?" 

Willow shrugged as her eyes landed on Giles, who was sitting across 
from her at the same table the five of them occupied the night before. 
Xander was straddling a chair, still scowling softly at the whole situation 

all the while covertly shooting glances at Cordelia, who was sitting a bit 
too close to Wesley for his comfort. 

*Poor Xander,* Willow thought.  *I wonder if he'll ever stop paying for the 

factory incident.* 

"Willow?  The dream?"  Giles calm tone interrupted her thoughts. 

"Oh yeah...the dream.  It was really weird.  One moment I was dreaming 
about flunking my make-up Calculus exam on Friday and the next, I 
was sitting on a hilltop-that one by the cliffs, and Willow was there- 
right next to me.  She told me she had found a spell in one of the 
Master's books that enabled her to talk to me in my dreams.  She 
wanted to know about Will and if he was there, because he disappeared 
from his lair-no dust, nothing.  I told her yes, he was here and I asked 
her if she knew how he got here.  Well, she said she had no idea but the 
reason she was so worried was one of Angelus' minions let it slip that 
Angelus had decided he had enough of Spike and was planning on 
dusting him for his insubordinance.  The irony of all of it was that 
Angelus had organized a daytime raid to Spike's lair and when they got 
there-Spike was gone." 

Willow watched as Giles removed his glasses and pinched the bridge of 
his nose, indicating a headache was coming on.  "Well, I guess that rules 
out Angelus and Willow." 

"Did she say anything else, Willow?" Wesley asked. 

Willow shook her head.  "No, it was actually a pretty quick dream. 
Apparently it takes a lot of power to cross interdimensional lines and 
such.  Willow said she only had a few minutes."  Willow looked up the 
table and sighed.  "She said that she was reluctant to try and bring him 
back if Angelus was serious about killing him.  She loves him," she said 
as she shrugged. 

"Why didn't you say anything earlier?" Xander asked, his voice taking on 
an almost accusatory tone. 

"Xander, what is your deal, doofus?" Cordelia snapped.  "Something 
really gross must've crawled up your butt-" 

Xander's eyes narrowed.  "Yeah Cordy, I saw you first thing this 
morning," he said, smirking. 

"Well-" 

Willow cleared her throat and glared at Xander.  "The reason I didn't say 
anything is because I hadn't really figured out if it was really real or 
not. 
It wasn't until lunch time, when I got a chance to really think about it, 
that it occurred to me that it might've actually happened.  Until then, I 
wasn't sure if it wasn't something just left over from my visit there," she 

finished softly as she glanced over at Cordelia and gave the cheerleader 
a grateful smile. 

Cordelia ignored it. 

Wesley stood up.  "I have read of such spells and she was telling the 
truth; it does take a lot of power to perform them." 

"So, what does this mean, Giles?" Buffy asked.  "If Willow or Angelus 
didn't send him here, then who did?" 

"That does appear to be the question, now doesn't it?" Giles said as he 
stood up.  "Wesley, maybe it's time to contact the Council.  If not about 
this, then about Faith-" 

Wesley's head dropped.  "I already did.  This morning I informed the 
Council of Faith's attempt to kill Buffy and as we feared, they have 
decided to leave this matter in our capable hands." 

"Those bastards," Xander whispered. 

Buffy snorted as she slid off the counter.  "I expected as much," she said 
as she grabbed her backpack.  "So, does anyone have any bullet-proof 
vests around?" 

Willow grinned as an idea hit her.  "How about I hack into the police 
department's computer and requisition one?  Then maybe we can have it 
delivered somewhere or something?" 

Buffy's face lit up.  "You're serious?  You can do that?" 

"I can try, Buffy." 

"No Willow," Giles said, interrupting the pair.  "Let me first check with 
some other sources before we begin pilfering supplies from the 
Sunnydale's finest, hmm?" 

Sighing dramatically, Willow nodded.  "Oh all right.  I suppose that 
would be for the best..." 

Giles gave her a small smile.  "Thank you anyway." 

"Well, we're off to fifth hour," Buffy called out as she signaled to her 
friends that it was time to leave.  "Bye Giles!  Wesley!" 

Willow turned and watched Xander grab his notebook.  "Come on, 
Xander.  One detention this week is enough, don't you think?" 

"But Wills-I still have at least twenty more to go to break the record! 
I've got to have something to show for all this time I've spent here!" 

She couldn't help but laugh at her friend's antics.  No matter how mad 
he got at her, he was still her Xander. 

Had been and always would be. 
  

*** 

Groaning, Will sat up in his bed and stared out into the apartment. 
Another bloody day filled with dreams. 

About her. 

*What the fuck was going on?*  He asked himself as he grabbed a 
cigarette off the nightstand and lit it.  Why would he be having dreams 
about her?  She wasn't his slayer; this wasn't his world-it should not 
be, and yet it was. 

Growling softly, he stubbed his cigarette and rolled over onto his back, 
staring unseeingly at the ceiling.  He had no idea how long he had just 
been lying there when he felt him. 

His sire's double. 

His presence sent a cool chill down his spine at the same time tugging at 
him, much like his Angelus' essence did.  Will wasn't sure what it was 
about this Angel that sent all his senses into an uproar, drawing him 
towards the older the vampire while at the same repelling him, but he 
was sure of one thing; he did not want to know why. 

Once he heartd the door of the apartment opened and closed softly, and 
Will cleared his throat.  "In here, mate." 

Will looked up towards the doorway and saw Angel leaning against the 
wall, with a paper sack in his hand.  "I brought you something to eat," 
Angel said as he walked over to the bed. 

Spike sat up and swung his legs over the side of the bed and looked up 
at the vampire.  "What is it?  Pig's blood?" 

Angel shook his head.  "Willie carries human," he said, handing Will the 
paper sack.  "I can't ask you not to hunt, but could you please keep your 
dalliances outside the city limits?" 

Will's scarred eyebrow arched.  "Is that what Spike's doing?" 

Angel shrugged.  "That or a sip and go sort of thing.  He knows better 
than to piss off Buffy too much or Willow for that matter.  The boy's 
besotted," Angel added, grinning. 

"Don't I know it.  Should've seen the two last night," Will said as he 
opened the bag and pulled out a Styrofoam cup.  Peeling off the plastic 
lid, he sipped the lukewarm blood and sighed softly.  "So what brings 
you here, Angel?  From what I've gathered, you haven't been here since 
before you lost your soul." 

Will saw the flicker of anguish in his dark brown eyes and felt a pang of 
regret for upsetting the vampire.  This wasn't his sire.  True, he was 
basically the same person that had brought him across, but the fact was 
he wasn't.  Will sighed, his eyes shutting.  "Sorry, I shouldn't have said 
anything.  It's not you I'm angry at." 

Angel shrugged.  "I'm used to it," he said, sitting down next to Spike on 
the bed.  "It's kind of liberating, isn't it?" 

"What?" 

"Being here-in this world.  I know, in a lot of ways, I felt almost free in 

your world.  A kind of freedom I haven't had in a long time here." 

Will nodded slowly.  "I noticed it last night."  He closed his eyes and 
smiled.  "I don't have to be Spike, William the Bloody here.  Spike is. I'm 

just Will.  Bloody hell, I don't even feel an allegiance to my demon 
brothers-they're not my brothers.  They're someone else's-yours, 
Spike's." 

"Do you want to go back?" 

He shrugged and stood up.  "I don't know.  I miss Willow, but let's be 
honest, if push came to shove, she would've chosen Angelus.  Not me.  If 
I hadn't known it before that night we rescued your Willow, I knew 
afterwards."  He ran his fingers through his hair.  "Just like with Dru, I 
was second best.  And there's no one else there that I miss." 

"And here?" 

After lighting a cigarette, he shrugged again.  "I don't know." 

After nearly five minutes of silence, Angel's soft voice broke the quiet. 
"What about the dreams?" 

Will growled softly as he shook his head.  "Bloody hell, word sure travels 
fast around here," he said, stomping over to the nightstand and putting 
out his cigarette.  "Again, I don't know.  I don't know what's causing 
them or why I'm having them." 

Angel stood up and walked over to the doorway.  "Well, I'll leave you be. 
You're more than welcome to stay here.  Even redecorate if that's your 
heart's desire.  Just one thing." 

"Yeah?" Will asked looking up into Angel's eyes. 

"Don't hurt Buffy or you'll be begging for Angelus' wrath instead of 
mine." 

Not even a minute later, Spike heard the front door close. 

"Bloody wonderful," he whispered.  "Bloody fucking wonderful." 

        ~~~~~end of part 4b~~~~ 

(part 4c) 

"Spike?" 

Spike opened his eyes to see Willow sitting on the bed right next to him. 
He reached over and pulled her down on top of him.  "Hello Red," he 
whispered right before he kissed her. 

As she moaned, he deepened the kiss as his fingers slid underneath her 
shirt, teasing her hot flesh.  She arched into his kiss, pressing herself 
against his hardened sex.  Chuckling softly, he deftly pulled off her shirt 

and rolled over on top of her.  "So, how was your day?" 

Her eyes squeezed shut as she let out quite an impressive growl for a 
mortal girl of eighteen years old.  "Not again, Spike!  Aaarg!" 

He laughed as his hands cupped her face.  "I'm sorry, Red," he said, 
knowing that the grin on his face indicated he was anything but 
remorseful.  "I just love teasing you.  The demon in me has to get his 
thrills somehow."  His head dipped down and kissed her chastely on the 
lips. 

She returned his smile and chuckled softly.  "It's okay.  I needed to talk 
to you anyway." 

"What's wrong?" he asked her, rolling off her and sitting up against the 
headboard.  He grabbed a cigarette and lit it and then with his free 
hand, tugged on Willow, urging her to move closer to him. 

He watched as she nibbled on her bottom lip as she began to run her 
finger across his chest.  "I had a dream last night-about the other 
Willow.  Really what it was, was her talking to me.  She found a spell to 
contact me in my dreams."  Willow sighed, leaning down, resting her 
head on his bare chest.  "She asked about Will and if he was here.  She 
said that yesterday Angelus had planned an ambush of sorts on Will and 
when he and the minions broke into the factory, they found he was 
gone." 

"What kind of ambush?" Spike asked, hoping that it wasn't as bad as it 
sounded. 

"He wanted to kill him.  Willow only found out about it after the fact.  A 
minion spilled it.  She was worried about Will and was glad that he was 
here-where he was safe." 

"It's all her bloody fault to begin with.  She managed to do exactly what 
the slayer did to my sire here-even worse," Spike said remembering 
that look in Angelus' eye as he stared at the human Willow.  Such need 
and obsession all mixed up into a psychotic cocktail that was Angelus. 
"At least the slayer didn't play on Poof's need to be punished." 

He felt Willow shudder in his arms and his arm tightened around her. 
After kissing her on her forehead, he put out his cigarette and sighed. 
"So, I guess that means Angelus didn't send him here, did he?" 

"That's the general consensus.  Wesley and Giles said they would look 
into it." 

"So, when's the great de-ratting taking place?" 

He felt her body shift and she pulled her head up to look up at him. 
"Midnight at the library.  Coming?" 

"Wouldn't miss it for the world, Red." 

Her eyes lit up as she suddenly pounced playfully on top of him and 
dropped a big, wet hot kiss on his lips.  "Cool!" 

Seeing the twinkle in her eye he knew she was planning to slip away 
from him to tease him, his hands tugged on her waist, pulling her firmly 
down on top of him, growling softly.   "And where do you think you're 
going, Red?"  he asked her as he began nibbling on her chin.  "I didn't 
say you could leave..." 

Moaning, Willow arched her neck allowing him better access as her hot 
fingers began gently scratching his chest.  "Nowhere...oh, Spike..." 

He quickly undid the clasp on her bra and tugged it off, tossing it off the 

bed as his  mouth began to suckle on her neck.  His hands cupped her 
breasts and without missing a beat, he rolled them back over so she was 
on her back.  Soon her jeans and knickers followed her bra, flying 
through the air and landing on the floor. 

Grinning, he looked down at her and knew that he was just a whipped 
sod when it came to his Willow.  Her flushed skin-her erratic 
heartbeat-her dilated pupils all screamed that she was his...and that 
was just fine with him. 

'Cause he'd been hers for a long a time. 

*** 

Once Willow had left the library and Buffy had donned her newest in 
slayer protection wear, a nice dark gray Kevlar bullet proof vest courtesy 
of some poor fool that owed Ripper a favor, she was finally allowed to 
leave the protection of the school grounds. 

Although she had changed into a pair of sweat pants and a long tee shirt 
before she left the school, she could still feel the Kevlar rub harshly 
against her nearly bare skin.  The way it was going, she was tempted to 
pitch the damn thing, and just keep her fingers crossed that Faith 
wouldn't bring any more guns to their play dates.  The skin around her 
healing bullet wound was especially sensitive and Buffy wouldn't be 
surprised if by the end of the night some of the area around might be 
rubbed raw. 

Now, two hours later, she was still wandering the streets of Sunnydale. 
The sun had set nearly forty-five minutes before and she had already 
done a sweep through the park.  Her intention was to begin her patrol, 
but she kept putting it off in favor of walking around mindlessly while 
she pondered the state of her life. 

God, she hated Faith for putting her through all this.  Wasn't it enough 
that she had to give up the last years of her life killing demons and 
protecting the world, that now she had to worry about guns as well? 
Buffy knew it was stupid to feel sorry for herself, but lately she couldn't 

seem to shake the melancholy that had settled on her heart.  Everything 
just seemed so blah. 

Whether it was because of Angel and their doomed love affair or Faith's 
defection, Buffy just couldn't seem to shake the blues. 

She looked up to find herself staring at the familiar apartment building 
and nearly groaned out loud.  How long had it been since she had 
actually felt driven to go to Angel's old apartment?  For months after he 
had lost his soul, she would find herself wandering to this place-staring 
at the building-unwilling to go inside but at the same time, unwilling to 
leave. 

"God, I'm pathetic," she whispered to herself.  Shaking her head at 
herself, she just began to turn around when she heard a familiar voice 
call out to her. 

"Slayer!  What brings you here?" 

*Sp-Will,* Buffy thought to herself as she turned around and faced the 
double of the bane of her existence. 

"Will, what's up?" she asked, noting that the vampire must've gotten a 
decent change of clothes from his double since he was no longer wearing 
Angel's. 

Will shrugged, lighting a cigarette.  "I'm off to the mall, believe it or 
not. 
I need to pick up some things," he said, stepping up to her.  Suddenly, 
he frowned as he leaned back, checking out her torso.  "What the hell do 
you have on underneath your shirt?" 

Blushing, Buffy rolled her eyes and lifted the bottom of her shirt up far 
enough so he could see the bullet-proof vest.  "The newest addition to 
my slayerwear.  Like it?"  she asked, scowling softly. 

"Obviously a little bit better than you," Will said softly. 

Buffy snorted softly.  "Don't pay any attention to me tonight.  I'm in a 
funk.  So shopping, huh?" she asked him, changing the subject. 

"Yeah, if I'm going to be stuck here for a bit, I need to stock up on some 
things...clothes, a bit of redecorating for the apartment," he said as they 

began walking. 

Buffy nodded in understanding.  "But where did you get money? I 
mean-didn't you say you had nothing on except your boxers?" she 
asked smirking up at him. 

He gave her small smile.  "Poof always leaves a nice stash of cash 
wherever he lives.  He must've forgotten about the one in the 
apartment." 

"And he lives like a monk," Buffy whispered to herself in wonder.  She 
was always amazed at how much Angel liked to deny himself things. 

"That he does," Will said, chuckling.  "So, any news that I need to know 
of?" 

Buffy snapped her fingers, remembering Willow's dream and quickly told 
him. 

"Bloody fucking hell!  What in the Satan's name is going on here?" he 
asked, flicking his cigarette away.  "If Peaches didn't do this to me, then 

who the hell did?" 

Buffy just shrugged.  "No one knows.  Giles and Wesley said they'd look 
into it.  Oh, and Willow is de-ratting Amy tonight.  Maybe with another 
witch's help, they can figure something out." 

"What time?" 

"Hmm?  The de-ratting?" she asked. 

Will nodded. 

"Midnight at the library." 

After nearly a minute passed, Will cleared his throat.  "Can I come?" 

Buffy stopped, tipped her head and stared at Will's back, shocked.  She 
just didn't understand him.  Why would he care about the de-ratting? 
And why would he want to go where all his enemies were going to be? 
Why would he want to put himself through that kind of torment?  All 
that came out of her mouth was a nearly unintelligible, "Huh?" 

He finally turned around when he noticed she wasn't walking beside 
him.  "What's wrong, pet?" 

Frowning, Buffy shook her head as she searched for the right words in 
her mind to verbalize her unmitigated confusion.  After nearly a minute, 
she just sighed and began speaking. 

"I just don't understand you.  I mean, I know you're not the same Spike 
that has tried to kill me numerous times...been the bane of my existence 
for over a year and a half and who likes to drink hot chocolate with my 
mother...but who are you?  You're still Spike.  The Slayer's Slayer.  Up 
until two years ago, our realities were identical.  So, what's going on?  I 

keep expecting a group of minions to pour out of the woodwork to take 
me down or for you to suddenly lash out and try to kill me.  Did you 
know that Spike hired the Order of Takara to take me down?  Did you 
know that he tried-no, let's be accurate about this-he managed to put 
together The Judge and was going to introduce it to the world at the 
same mall you're heading for right now?" 

Will grinned.  "The Judge?  I - or he - did that?  Bloody hell, he's got 
balls." 

Throwing her arms in frustration, she just shook her head.  "Yeah, I was 
the gal with the rocket launcher that took Big Blue out.  His pieces will 
never be reassembled again," she added smugly.  "So tell me, what 
changed you?  I know why this Spike is different.  I watched it.  I was 
there on the other side when Angel lost his soul.  Spike lost Dru.  I lost 
Angel.  I was there when Spike approached me for an alliance.  I was 
there when we fought together against some of his former minions a 
couple of months ago.  But from everything that Angel and Willow told 
me, you should be like the Spike that tried to kill me on Parent-Teacher 
night two years ago."  She began pacing in front of him, feeling all the 
tension of the day pouring out.  God, what she would do for a good slay 
right now.  "And you don't even have our Willow's love to push you 
towards-"  She stopped and growled.  "I'm just confused!" 

"I can see that," he said, smirking.  She watched as he took an 
unneeded breath and sighed heavily.  After lighting a cigarette, he met 
her questioning stare.  "You won't like it, love." 

She rolled her eyes again.  "I'll like it better than not knowing." 

"I don't know why I didn't tell you before," he said, shaking his head. 
"Bloody hell, everyone else knows.  I was just embarrassed.  Me, Spike, 
William the Bloody having fucking dreams about a slayer?  Unheard of. 
Unfathomable.  And yet, they happened.  Happened today too."  He 
walked up to her and nearly reached for her hand, but stopped himself. 
"All day yesterday-I don't even know if it was before I was transported 
here or afterwards, I was dreaming of your life.  Actually, it was both of 
the Buffys...and then, it split.  I guess, where the worlds split - and 
suddenly I was watching your life."  Dropping his gaze, he turned and 
looked off to the side.  "When I saw you get shot-I just couldn't let you 
die.  I kept telling myself it was because of Willow, but I don't know.  I 
don't have a fucking soul...but something happened."  He turned to face 
her, his dark eyes pinning hers.  "And now you tell me that Angelus 
wasn't the one that did this and that he was planning on killing me...it 
just makes me think." 

"What do you mean?  Who else would do this?" Buffy asked, feeling even 
more confused than she had before.  If it wasn't someone then it had to 
be something...and why would any something bring a soulless vampire 
over from a different world and make him dream about her? 

Will just shook his head.  "I don't know, pet," he whispered, his hand 
finally reaching out and tucking a piece of her hair behind her hair. 
Growling softly, he dropped his hand and stuck both of them into his 
jeans pocket.  "So, are you going to stand there all night or are you 
coming shopping with me?" 

Buffy looked up at him, ignoring the fluttering in her stomach that was 
caused by his gesture and grinned lopsidedly at him.  "On one 
condition-we stop off at my house so I can change and grab some 
money."  She shook her head in mock dismay.  "It's a shame I gave Angel 
back his Gold Card, or we could've had some fun." 

"Now you're talking, pet," he said waving his hand behind him.  "Lead 
the way." 

Buffy did just that. 

                ~~~~~~end of chapter four~~~~~ 

Chapter Five






Watching Willow was nearly as enjoyable as making love to her, Spike 
decided as he leaned back in his seat and locked his arms behind his 
neck.  She was a bundle of nervous and passionate energy-alternating 
between pacing the length of the library in unbridled excitement and 
just as quickly, pausing and taking deep breaths in an obviously futile 
attempt to calm herself.

Spike loved it.

"Red?" he called out to her in the middle of one of pacing fits.

She stopped and looked over at him, her huge green eyes twinkling at 
him.  "Yes?"

"Come 'ere," he said softly.

Her eyebrow shot up as she shook her head.  "I can't!  I-I have to-to 
prepare and think and-"

"Love, come here."

Tipping her head, she smiled sheepishly at him as she shuffled over to 
where he was seated.  Her head dropped as she stared down at her 
shoes-a deep red blush coloring her cheeks-and she chuckled softly.

"I'm driving you crazy, aren't I?"

"Yep," he said as he grabbed her hand-tugging her reluctant body over 
to him.  He then stuck his cigarette in his mouth and grabbed her by 
the waist-easily pulling her onto his lap.

Squealing in delight, she fell into his arms and grinned at him.  "Sorry," 
she said, her voice indicating she was anything but.  "It's just the idea
of 
actually seeing Amy again-my Amy.  I miss her so much.  And the 
spell-"

He pulled his cigarette out of his mouth and kissed her softly on the 
lips.  "You never did tell me how your friend ended up as a rat, love.  
How 'bout filling me in?"

Her eyes widened as she giggled softly.  "Really?  Well, I've got a story
for 
you!  Ever hear of Hansel and Gretel?"

Spike leaned back in his chair, his arms wrapped tightly around her and 
once again thanked whoever was watching over him for giving him the 
precious gift of Willow.

***

Giles peeked out of his office door and surreptitiously spied on Willow 
and Spike, forcing himself to really study the two as they were now and 
not let his own feelings prejudice what he was witnessing.

Shaking his head, he watched in awe as the vampire managed to calm 
Willow down-something that Giles had yet to master in the three years 
he had known the young hacker.

In the two days since he had learned of Willow's involvement with the 
vampire, his emotions had run the gamut:  from horror, to anger, then 
rage, to reluctant acceptance and finally, to seeing what Angel had seen 
in the other world...

Spike was completely and utterly smitten with the young witch.  And 
from where Giles stood, it was pretty obvious that he would do whatever 
it took to keep her safe and happy.

No matter what Giles' training had told him, no matter how many years 
of experience the elder watcher had in dealing with the undead, he had 
a hard time seeing this as anything other than a blessing.  

Especially with Faith running around shooting at his people.

"Mr. Giles, what are you going to do about Willow?"

Giles blinked, momentarily startled at the sound of other watcher's 
voice-forgetting that Wesley was in the office with him-and stepped 
back from the door to face the man.

"Do about what?"

"Ms. Rosenberg's insistence on consorting with a vampire.  A vampire, I 
may add, that is known through out the world as one of the most 
dangerous demons alive to roam the earth.  It is unacceptable!"

Giles' lifted his eyebrow as he watched the younger watcher nervously 
clean his glasses and leaned against the doorframe.  "And what, pray 
tell, do you think I should do about it?  Forbid her to see him?  I'm 
hardly in a position to do so.  Or maybe I can show her one of the old 
watcher diaries that detail Spike's nefarious adventures in the past?"

"It may be a start-"

Giles snorted, shaking his head in disgust.  "I'm sure Willow's already 
snuck a peek at them as soon as he first appeared in town.  Especially 
when it came out that Angel was his sire.  Along with Buffy-"

"But they're forbidden!"

The older man laughed outright.  "Have you ever tried keeping two 
teenage girls as resourceful and intelligent as Buffy and Willow away 
from something forbidden that they really want to see?  My Lord man, 
Willow's broken into FBI files on that contraption of hers - you think a 
lock's going to keep her away?"

"Well-um-I-"

"What I think you should worry about is Will and this link he has with 
Buffy.  I talked to Angel today and he confirmed what Will and Spike told 
me last night:  demons don't dream.  And they especially don't have 
telepathic-like dreams involving the slayer in a favorable note!"

Wesley sighed in defeat.  "What do you think they mean?"

"I'm not sure," Giles said, shaking his head.  He walked over to his desk 
and sat down in the chair behind it.  "But I do know that Angel was told 
by his contact-The Whistler-that his redemption no longer lies with 
Buffy.  He's thinking of leaving after graduation."

"You don't think they're related, do you?"

Giles pinched the bridge of his nose as he felt the inklings of another 
headache beginning and sighed loudly, not saying anything.

He really didn't know.

***

"Happy now?" the slayer asked him as they both dropped Will's 
purchases onto the couch.

Grinning, he looked up from the one of the bags he had been digging 
through and froze, suddenly stunned at the sight of the slayer sitting on 
the arm of the couch-relaxed and at ease-and its obvious implications.

He felt no anger at her lack of fear, only happiness. 

He wanted her to accept him as he had already accepted her. 

What the fuck was going on with him?  Did he feel that way about all 
humans?

Remembering the young bloke he drained the day before, an odd sense 
of relief filled him.  Still a demon, he told himself.  Just not demon-like

when it came to her.

Why? 

He didn't even realize he was growling softly until a puzzled look washed 
across the slayer's face.

Taking a deep, unneeded breath, he met her eyes and sighed softly.  
"Sorry luv, I was just thinking..."

"About what?"

He could hear the tension returning in her voice.  Something he had 
spent most of the night, trying to erase.  Cursing, he shoved the 
packages over to make room for himself, flopped down on the couch and 
lit a cigarette.

After nearly a minute, he finally broke the silence.  "I just don't 
understand what's happening with me," he said.  "Is this," he pointed at 
her and back at him, "real?  Or is a product of a spell?  Will it just 
disappear one day?  Do I want it to go away?  Or is this just me without 
the anger and rage of my demon pushing at me all the time?"  He shook 
his head and stared at the cigarette smoke curling its way upward.  
"Buffy, it's been so long since I've been human, I barely remember who I 
was then.  Maybe this is me.  Maybe what's happened to me isn't a soul-
like spell, but more of a demon-tamer spell."

Leaning over, he started digging through the bags and after the third 
one, his fingers finally latched onto what he was looking for:  a box of 
dark brown hair coloring mix.  He stared at the picture of the beautiful 
brunette adorning the box and for the hundredth time that evening, 
wondered if this was right thing to do.  

A part of him still couldn't believe he was actually contemplating this.  
He'd been a blond for over twenty years.  He liked his bleached locks 
and from what he'd heard,  so did everyone else.  Even Buffy looked a bit 
forlorn when she saw him toss the box into his cart.

But once the thought entered his brain, he couldn't push it out.

A clean start.  That's what Angel said and Will couldn't help but agree 
with him.  And he did feel free here.  Free to be something he wouldn't 
even have dared to contemplate in his own world.  Free to befriend this 
world's slayer and get to know her.

Free to fight the battles he chose, not just the ones that he was told to 
fight in.

Free to be the type of vampire he wanted to be-not the demon-driven 
one he had been in his homeworld.

And if he followed this path, wouldn't it make sense to put as much 
distance between his old self and the new?  That way, not only would 
the change be complete in a sense, but it would keep this world's Spike 
from receiving the backlash that was sure to come if Will allied himself 
with the slayer.  This way, whatever he chose to do while living in this 
world, his actions wouldn't reflect onto the other Spike.  He might not 
have too much control over whatever was going on with him, but at least 
Spike's reputation wouldn't be affected-one way or another.

"Is that the reason for this?" she asked quietly as she pointed to the box 
in his hand.  

He tossed the box onto the coffee table and turned to face her.  "I don't 
know," he said, not bothering to hide his uncertainty.  "Maybe if I put 
enough distance between who I was and who I'm becoming,  whatever's 
going on will happen more easily.  And even more importantly, I'll be 
able to accept it as well."

Buffy slid off her perch and walked over to sit across from him on the 
coffee table.  "Whatever is going on with you, Will, it's here," she said 
pointing to his head and then heart.  "Not on the outside."
 
"But didn't you know, luv?  Image is everything," he said, smirking at 
her.

She rolled her eyes at him.  "Whatever," she said softly, a small smile 
playing on her lips.  "Just don't fall into that trap that women are 
notorious for buying."

"What trap's that?"

"That somehow we can change who we are by how much we change how 
we look."  She shrugged and stood up, walking over to the bookcase.  "It 
doesn't work that way...believe me."

Will stubbed out his cigarette and picked up the box once again.  Maybe 
she has a point, he thought to himself as he set it back down.  Maybe he 
should talk to his other self and see if he could get a better handle on 
himself that way first, before going through with it.  He glanced over at 
the slayer and watched as she pulled out a book and leafed through it, 
obviously not paying too much attention to its content.

She was so beautiful-this slayer was.  Why had he never seen it with 
his world's Buffy?  Was it because of what happened to him?  Or was 
this Buffy just different?

He walked over to her and placed his hand on her shoulder.  "All right, 
luv, you win.  I'll talk to my other self before I dye my hair, okay?"

Looking over her shoulder at him, she grinned, nodding.  "Good."

"But you want to know what I think?"  he asked purposely making his 
voice drop to a low and seductive tone.

"What?  What do you think, Will?"

"I think you just like the blond hair," he said softly, his finger brushing

softly against her warm cheek, unable and unwilling to stop himself 
from touching her.

She gave him a warm smile and to his surprise didn't flinch at his cool 
touch.  Instead, she reached up and grabbed his hand, pulling it away 
from her face.  "It's about time we head over to the library-that is if you

still want to go."

His fingers curled around hers as he nodded yes and turned towards the 
front door.

They left the apartment, still holding hands.

        ~~~end of part 5a~~~

(part 5b)

It wasn't until Angel stepped into the library and saw Spike and Willow, 
that he realized just how much he had missed his childe in the past 
couple of days.  After spending so much time with him in the other 
world and getting to know him as he was now, Angel found himself 
actually liking his childe.  

When did that happen?  

Wasn't it just a couple of months ago that he wanted to wring Spike's 
scrawny neck?  And the year before, when Angel's demon had been in 
control, all Angel had felt was contempt for him.   It wasn't until Angel 
was in Hell that it was clear to him that somehow the curse had 
fundamentally changed his demon.  There had been a time, pre-curse 
days, when Angelus had enjoyed Spike's company more than he had 
Dru's.

Dru had been an obsession-a need to conquer and possess.  Angelus 
had chosen Spike as a childe for far more, dared Angel say, healthier 
reasons:  as a companion and lover.  A person who would be his, not 
Darla's, to show the world to and to teach.  For over sixty years, William 
had been that and more to Angelus...until he had met the young and 
innocent Druscilla.

Angel's eye landed on Willow and couldn't help noticing the similarities 
between the two women.  Would Dru have turned out to be such a 
wonderful woman if Angelus hadn't been determined to destroy her?

Shuddering,  Angel pushed his other childe from his thoughts and 
approached the couple sitting at the table.

"Hey Peaches," Spike greeted, sporting his patent smirk.

"Angel!  You came!"

Chuckling softly at Willow's obvious excitement, he nodded.  "Of course I 
did.  I couldn't miss the great Willow wielding her powerful magic."

Willow giggled softly as she clasped her hands in front of her, twisting 
them.   Spike grabbed them, pulling them apart, shaking his head at 
her.  "None of that, love.  You'll break them and then you won't be able 
to do the spell."

Sighing dramatically, she fell back onto his chest and nodded sullenly.  
"He's been doing that all night," she said to Angel.  "Thank the 
Goddess," she whispered conspiratorially.  "I needed it."

Spike's arm wrapped her waist as he rested his head on her shoulder.  
"So, did you hear?"

"About your other self?"

Spike nodded, obviously worried.  

"Yeah," Angel said, sitting down next to his childe.  "Giles came by 
earlier today and told me.  Later, I went to check up on him."

Angel watched Spike's eyebrows crease.  "And?"

"And what?"

"Did you kill him?"

Scowling, Angel glared at him.  "And why would I do that?"

Willow hand dropped to Spike's knee and grabbed it as she lifted her 
eyes to Angel.  "I think what Spike's worried about-"

"Is the dreams," Angel interrupted.  "Yeah, Giles told me about those 
too."  Angel stood up, turning his back on his childe and Willow.  "I am 
worried about the dreams and what this could mean to Buffy, but..."

"But what Angel?" Willow asked, her voice moving closer to him.

Angel turned around to see her standing right behind him, with Spike 
on her heels.  He sighed, feeling the need to talk this over with 
someone, but wondering if Willow was the right person.  How would 
Buffy react if he left her-again?

Groaning, Angel looked over Willow to meet Spike's questioning glare.  
For nearly a minute, neither vampire said a word as they silently 
communicated to one another.  Finally, Spike laid his hands on Willow's 
shoulders and bent his head down to whisper in her ear.  "Red, why 
don't you check and make sure you have everything set up while I go 
and have a chat with my sire, um?"

Willow turned around and looked at both vampires and nodded.  She 
walked over to her circle in the center of the library, leaving Angel and 
Spike alone.  

"What is it, Peaches?"

Angel ran his fingers through his hair in agitation and finally settled his

hands on his hips and looked over at his childe.  "Whistler came by last 
night."

Spike's eyes widened at the news.  "What did the wanker want this 
time?"

Growling softly, Angel turned and looked at the library doors, only 
partially conscious that he was looking for Buffy as his mind ran over the 
conversation he and the demon had had.  "He wants me to leave 
Sunnydale...leave Buffy."   Angel snorted, shaking his head.  "He says 
my redemption no longer lies with her...that I'm needed elsewhere."

Angel heard a low growl and turned to see his childe's demon face 
glaring back at him.  "And I guess that means you're leaving then?"

Laughing harshly at the incongruity of his childe, Angel found himself 
answering Spike with his own growl.  "What the hell is wrong with you, 
Spike?  I thought, out of everyone, you would be happiest to see me 
leave.  Well, other than Harris..."

Spike's demon face disappeared as he clenched his jaw.  "Yeah well, 
things change."

Angel felt his body relax as his childe's words penetrated his confusion.  
Spike too had noticed their reconciliation and like Angel, didn't want it 
to end.  "Yeah, they do," he said, reaching out to the younger vampire 
and clasping his shoulder.  "I just don't know how long I can stay here 
and not break the curse.  You don't know how hard it is to have her this 
close and to know that all it would take would be a kiss...and I would be 
lost.  Spike, I don't want him back.  And after our little adventure, I was

reminded all over again, why my soul needs to stay in control."

Sighing in defeat, Spike leaned against the table and began watching 
Willow as she went over her preparations for the fifth time that night.  "I

don't know how you lasted this long, Angel."  He shook his head and 
closed his eyes.  "It had been so long since I'd been with a human and 
now that I have..."

"You can't imagine not touching her again...feeling her heat...her hot 
blood soaring through her veins..."

Chuckling softly, Spike nodded.  "Yeah that.  But that's not all...it's
her.  
Bloody hell, if your feelings for the slayer are anything like mine are for

Willow...well, I don't know how you've lasted this long."

Sensing Buffy's presence, Angel straightened his shoulders and looked 
down at Spike.  "That's the problem, I don't think I can-" he stopped as 
another presence hit him-a familiar vampiric presence...*Will.*  "They're 
here-so let's drop it for now."

Spike nodded as he lifted his head and watched as the library doors 
swung open revealing Buffy and Will walking in together, obviously at 
ease and comfortable with one another.  Buffy was rolling her eyes at 
the vampire as he was expounding on some adventure of his which, from 
Angel's perspective, she'd rather not hear, but didn't have the heart to 
tell him so.  He took in Will's appearance and wasn't surprised to see the 
vampire wearing a completely different outfit.  Instead of Spike's black 
jeans, black tee-shirt and red shirt, Will had chosen a pair of blue jeans 
and royal blue silk shirt-minus the tee-shirt.  He had obviously decided 
to keep the combat boots and Angel understood why-they were very 
advantageous in battle-remembering how that same brand of boots had 
felt when Spike had kicked his butt numerous times with them on.  
Topping off the outfit was a short, black leather jacket-also new.

Will was spreading his wings slowly and Angel couldn't help but approve, 
despite its implications.

*Well fuck...* he thought to himself as he turned to Spike.   His childe's 
dark eyes met his and noted that Spike had come up with the same 
conclusion as he had.

Angel's eyes closed as he felt a part of his heart shatter just a little
bit 
more. 

***

The first thing Buffy noticed when she stepped inside was the sadness 
in Angel's eyes.  Everything else-Spike and Will's presence, Willow's 
hovering over Amy's Book of Shadows with Giles and Wesley standing on 
either side of her, speaking in hushed tones as they discussed the 
spell-slipped into the background as their eyes met.

Immediately, Buffy knew something had happened. 

Something that had nothing to do with Faith or the Mayor or even of the 
other Spike's strange appearance in their world.  No, something had 
happened to him and Buffy had a feeling that whatever it was, it affected 
her as well.

Momentarily forgetting about Will, she jogged across the library, 
stealthily avoiding Willow's circle and stopped just a couple of feet in 
front of Angel as she reached for his hand.

For a moment, she thought he'd pull away, but much to her relief he 
didn't; instead he grabbed it tightly in his cool grasp and began walking 
over to the stacks, pulling her with him.

Buffy followed him willingly, as her heart pounded in fear and 
confusion. 

God, she hated this.

She hated being around him and not being able to touch him.  And 
when they did touch, like now, it was so controlled-almost as if they 
feared anything sexual would let loose that wild passion that was 
brimming just underneath the surface with both of them.  The last seven 
months, since his return, had been pure hell on both of them.

It wasn't fair and she hated it.  She hated not being able to be with him.

She hated the idea she couldn't, in clear conscience, be with anyone 
else, and more than anything else, she was afraid that sometime in the 
future that this anger over their situation would turn into something so 
bitter and hateful, and that their love would be destroyed.

Suddenly Angel had stopped and Buffy looked around saw that they 
were off to the side next to the outside wall.  He leaned his tall and 
bulky form against the wall and with his free hand, grabbed hers.  

"Angel, what's wrong?"

His eyes shut, but not before Buffy saw the pain in them, and he took a 
deep breath.  "How-" he started and shook his head.  He began again.  
"Whistler came by last night."

For a moment, Buffy didn't hear anything other than the rapid beat of 
her heart.  She just knew he had bad news to tell her.  The little demon 
never showed his face unless it was to stir up trouble.  Biting her bottom 
lip, she squeezed his hands, silently urging him to continue.

"I'm thinking of leaving after the Ascension," he said softly, his eyes
still 
shut.  "He said that it was time for me to go..."

Tears flooded her eyes as his words sank into her soul.  He's leaving me 
again, the petulant child inside of her screamed.  They always left...her 
father, Angel...twice, now maybe three times.  She felt her chest heave 
as her heart clamored out of control.  "What-how do-do you want to?" 
she finally managed to ask, surprised to hear how small and hurt her 
voice sounded.

His eyes shot open and met hers-the pain radiating out from them 
almost palpable in the air.  "No!" he said automatically.

"But?"

"But I think I have to," he whispered, his head hung low.  

Shattered, Buffy thought.  That's what this curse did to them-gave 
them hope and love and then shattered their hearts.  

Destroyed their hopes.

She looked up at him and their eyes met.  Suddenly, she was in his 
arms as she sobbed, crying tears for both of them.  And for a future they 
would never have together.  For a live together that was never meant to 
be.

It was over and there was nothing Buffy or Angel could ever do about it.

Fate saw to that.  She made damn sure of it.

        ~~~end of chapter five~~~

        ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

                                Chapter Six





As Willow watched Buffy run out of the library, the young witch decided 
right there and then that someone somewhere must like her best friend.  
Buffy bypassed the circle drawn on the floor, her friends gathered 
around Willow and even Will-with tears running down her red and 
splotchy cheeks.  Willow looked up and met two pairs of deep blue orbs; 
one, her lover watching Willow with a strange mixture of empathy and 
understanding crossing his face and the other one-Will-who stared at 
the library doors obviously fighting the urge to follow and comfort the 
slayer himself.  Spike nodded at Willow and the door, silently asking her 
to go and comfort her friend.

Willow bit her bottom lip and sighed. 

Her world was turning out to be as strange as the one she had just left.

Momentarily forgetting about the spell, the young witch turned to Giles 
and excused herself.  Then she left the library to go to the one place she 
knew Buffy would go to in a time of pain-the only real place that any of 
them went when their hearts were broken while at school:  the girl's 
bathroom.

Even though Willow didn't really know what was going on, she had a fair 
idea.  All she had to do was reflect back to Angel's obviously agitated 
state when he had first come to the library a half an hour before, and 
she that whatever had upset Buffy, it had something to do with Angel.  
And for Buffy, Angel heartbreak was the most devasting pain of all.

Goddess, she wished that there were something she could do for her 
friend, but after hours and hours of researching the curse, Willow was 
stumped.  And now, with her own turning looming in front of her, Willow 
had even more of an incentive to find either another soul-restoration 
spell or some possibility to rewrite the original curse without the clause 
hanging over Angel...and Willow, when the time came.

But until then, Buffy and Angel could not be together-no matter how 
much they wanted to.  And now that Willow was no longer an innocent 
when it came to relationships and intimacy, she finally understood how 
hard forced celibacy had been for the couple.

Willow could not imagine living a life with Spike and not being able to be 
with him-physically.

And yet, Buffy and Angel had been doing just that since his return from 
Hell, and no matter what anyone had to say about those two-their 
restraint was a testament to how strong-willed both of them were.

As Willow opened the bathroom door and heard the muffled sobs 
echoing off the room's walls, she wondered what had changed with the 
two-because something obviously had.

"Buffy?" she called out softly as she stepped into the restroom.  

Willow heard a loud sniffle and saw her friend standing over one of the 
sinks-her hands grasping the faucets.

"Yeah Wills?"

Willow walked over to the neighboring sink and leaned back against it.  
"You wanna talk about it?"

Buffy's eyes shut but not before a few new tears slipped out.  She 
nodded her head, her blond hair flying about her face as her chest 
shook and a loud, harsh laugh rang through the room.  "I'm really not 
surprised, ya know?" she said, looking at Willow.  "I knew it couldn't 
keep going this way, and yet, it hurts, Wills.  It really hurts," she 
whispered as her head dipped backward as she bit her bottom lip.  "He's 
leaving after the Ascension," Buffy said, swallowing hard.  "Whistler 
came by and saw him last night-while I was busy getting shot at by 
Faith and saved by Will-and told Angel that his redemption no longer 
lay with me.  That Angel had to make his own way." 

Buffy turned on the cold water and cupped her hands under the flow.  
After washing her face, she grabbed a paper towel and dried it.  

"I'm sorry.  If I'd only found out how to remove the clause-"

Buffy held out her hand-still clutching a paper towel-and shook her 
head.  "No, Willow!  It's not your fault.  I have a feeling that even if
you 
could make his soul permanent, he'd still go.  This has just as much to 
do with Angel's redemption-his guilt-his need to make amends-as it 
does with us being together."  She sighed, rubbing her now dry face.  
"Although the no-sex part is a definitely a major bummer-his guilt 
plays a huge part in why he's leaving.  At least I think so.  He didn't say

it, but..."

"But you think he believes that he doesn't deserve you."

Buffy nodded and took a deep breath.  "Yeah.  And I can't really fault his 
feelings.  I don't know how I'd feel in his shoes.  Probably the same 
way-considering how I act when I feel guilty."  She turned around and 
leaned against the sink.  "You know, I've known since he came back that 
things would never be the same.  No matter how much I love him and he 
loves me...no matter how right it feels at times-there was just too much 
stuff there-hanging over us."  She chuckled humorlessly.  "We were 
doomed the moment we consummated our relationship.  For eighty 
years, he did nothing to redeem himself.  And now that he sees that it's 
possible to do so, I don't think things would ever be right between us 
until he feels worthy of being loved." 

Willow nodded, silently agreeing with Buffy as she remembered Angel's 
confession about killing an innocent while he was souled and the dark 
guilt that crossed his face as he told her his story.  Angel not only felt 
that he had to make up for his demon's doings, but for his soul's as well.


She turned to her friend and scooted over closer to her, wrapping an 
arm around Buffy's shoulder.  "I think that you're right.  But it doesn't 
make it any easier, does it?"

Buffy laughed quietly and laid her head on Willow's shoulder.  "No, it 
doesn't.  But then, when has anything in my life ever been easy?"  She 
took a deep breath, pulled away from Willow and stood in front of her, 
shaking her head.  "God, I hate feeling sorry for myself," she said as she 
frowned.  "Thanks for listening," she added as she reached for Willow's 
hand.  "You don't know how scared I was when you were gone.  The 
thought that I'd have to be alone-without you-drove me nuts.  So," she 
said with a forced smile on her face.  "Don't you have a spell you need to 
perform?"

Willow glanced at her watch, noting that she had only a few minutes 
until midnight, and nodded.  "Are you sure?  I can always do it 
tomorrow-if you need me..."

Buffy shook her head and started walking towards the door-still 
holding her hand.  "Nope-Amy has waited long enough.  And I can't 
imagine that life as a rat is too interesting. I remember a few hours of my

own spent as a rodent, and believe me when I tell you, she needs to get 
on with her life!  There's only so many habitrails that a rat can run 
through before she's just plain bored!"

Giggling, Willow let Buffy lead out of the bathroom and towards the 
library.

***

Once Willow left the library, Will ran his fingers through his hair as he 
turned to his other self and arched his eyebrow.

His other self shrugged, tipping his head back towards Angel, and lit a 
cigarette.

"Bloody hell..." he whispered quietly as he tried to shake off the stab of 
pain he felt at seeing the slayer so upset over his sire's double.  
Although he had heard bits and pieces about the two from Willow, Spike 
and surprisingly, Buffy herself, he had a feeling it was only a small part 
of the Buffy and Angel story.

Will wasn't sure if he wanted to know the rest.  

Clearing his throat, he met his double's gaze and nodded over to the 
steps.  "I need to talk to you..."

Spike sighed, obviously impatient, and nodded.

As they walked across the library towards the stairs, Will went over in his

mind what he really wanted to talk about to his other self.  The hair dye?

The dreams?  The strange connection Will felt towards this slayer?  His 
Willow?

The list was just endless.

Chuckling softly, he sat down at the top of the stairs and lit a cigarette 
while watching his other self lean against the stair railing below him and 
light up his own smoke.

"Well?" Spike asked.

"How long are you going to stay here with Willow?  Are you going to help 
them out?" 

Spike's eyes widened at the question and dipped his head as he stared 
at his cigarette.  After nearly a minute, Will heard him sigh softly and 
watched as he shrugged.  "I don't know, mate.  At first, in your world, 
when we got together we talked of leaving Sunnydale.  But it was your 
Sunnydale that we wanted to leave behind.  After we got here, the only 
thing either  of us cared about was being together."  He paused and 
shook his head.  "As long as she's still mortal, I don't see her leaving
the 
slayer or her friends."

"And you?"

He snorted, shaking his head again, and looked down at the center of 
the library.  "You don't know how many times I stood up here-after 
everyone had left-and planned the slayer's demise.  Cor, I hated her!"  
He grinned and turned back to Will.  "The chit beat my ass every time.  
The only things that I managed to do successfully while I was here was 
to kill the Anointed One-"

"You killed him?" Will asked, laughing at his other self's audacity. 

Smiling, Spike nodded.  "Little shit.  I got him within my first week here.
 
Oh, and restore Dru.  But damn if that didn't cost me my legs for the 
next six months."

"And?" Will asked him after nearly a minute of silence.

"And I finally figured out something when I came back earlier this year:  
I didn't want her dead.  I really didn't want any of them dead.  Somehow, 
in the past two years of fighting Angel and the slayer, I began to care.  
Whether it was Red's blazing eyes as she stood up to me three months 
ago or the truce the slayer and I had to bring down Angelus or if it was 
just because after repeated contacts with all of them-they became more 
than just my enemy, I don't know.  So, if that means I have to stick 
around to keep Red safe, I will.  And if that means helping out the slayer 
occasionally, I'll do that as well.  

"But, that doesn't mean I'm going to devote my unlife to fighting on their 
side.  It just means that despite me being a demon, I found myself in the 
precarious position of actually caring about a few select mortals."

Will nodded, understanding his other self's motivation a lot more now 
than he had just a week ago.  Whether it was the dreams or his own 
experiences with Spike's Willow, Will didn't know.  But something had 
changed with him as well.

"Why?" Spike asked, stomping out his cigarette.  "Why do you want to 
know?"

It was Will's turn to sigh as he looked up and met his double's curious 
stare.  "I just want to know my if choices are going to hurt you, that's 
all."

"What the hell's that supposed to mean?"

Will shrugged as he dropped his burned-down cigarette on the linoleum 
floor and stepped on it.  "If I stay and help out the slayer-"

"You want to know if that'll hurt my reputation?"

Will nodded.

The doors to the library opened as Willow and Buffy walked through 
them-holding hands.  Will could see, even from where he and his 
double were sitting, that the slayer was a lot calmer than she had been 
just twenty minutes before, and he sighed in relief.  "Yeah, that's what I 
want to know."

They both stood up and began their ascent down the stairs.  Suddenly 
Spike stopped and turned to his other self.  "Do what you have to do, 
mate.  I can take care of myself."

Will nodded, feeling oddly relieved that he, at least for now, wouldn't 
have to dye his hair to protect his other self.

He rather liked his blond locks.

                ~~~~end of part 6a~~~~

(part 6b)

Not until Buffy had wrapped Amy's naked body with a blanket, did it hit 
Willow that she had finally done it. 

Quickly ending the spell and breaking the circle, she turned to her 
friend and just sat there in amazement-watching her.

"Willow?  Where...what's going on?"  Amy frowned as she stared at the 
blanket and turned to Buffy.  "Why am I naked and why is everyone 
staring at me?"

Xander's laugh rang through the room, and Willow couldn't help 
giggling herself.  "I'm sorry it took me so long.  Oh, I got clothes for
you!" 
She turned around and spotted her knapsack sitting on the table.  
"Spike, toss me my backpack, will ya?"

Grinning, the vampire nodded and grabbed the bag off the table.  Once 
in hand, he walked over to Willow and knelt down beside her all the 
while smirking at the confused blonde witch staring at him with her 
mouth hanging open.  "Here you go, Red," he said and kissed Willow 
softly on the lips.

"Are you sure this my world?" Amy asked softly.  "Because, last I 
remember you..."

Buffy giggled as she stood up and helped Amy to her feet.  "You've been 
gone for a while Amy.  What's the last thing you remember?"

Amy's eyebrows creased together in thought.  "A fire...a burning!  We 
were burning at the stake!  Our mothers!  Buffy, your mom was the 
worst!"

"MOO," Buffy answered, ducking her head in embarrassment.  "Mother's 
Opposed to the Occult.  Actually, it was a couple of demons posing at 
murdered kids that started it all-"

"I remember now!" Amy said as she let Buffy lead her out of the room.

Willow smiled as she listened to her two best friends begin talking 
animatedly about events that happened two months before.  Grabbing 
her backpack, she turned to Spike, grinned and then quickly skipped 
out of the library to the restroom.

***

"Was anyone else just suddenly struck by the weirdness that is the 
Hellmouth?" Xander asked as he tipped his soda to his mouth.

"Well a-I must say it has been a trying week or so," Giles said as he 
walked over to the table and sat down.  He pulled off his glasses and 
began to polish them.

Cordelia snorted, shaking her head.  "It's always a trying week around 
here with you weirdoes," she said, picking up her purse and slinging it 
over her shoulder.  "Well, now that Amy the Witch is back, I'm going 
home, where normal people are at this time of night."  She looked over 
at Wesley.  "Walk me out to my car?"

The young Watcher nodded as he fumbled with his coat.  "I do say, it is a 
bit late.  I'd be honored, Miss Chase," he said as he waited by the 
counter for her to meet up with him.  A minute later, they disappeared 
out the door.

"Are those two for real?" Spike asked as he lit a cigarette.

Angel snickered softly behind him as Xander scowled loudly.  
"Unfortunately yes," the young mortal said as he glared at the swinging 
doors.  

"It's a bloody soap opera around here," Will said as he leaned back 
against the table next to his double.

Spike watched as the whelp turned to Will and lifted his eyebrow at the 
vampire.  "And you're telling me-"

"Harris-drop it," Angel said softly as he interrupted the boy, and walked 
over to sit next to Giles.

"Hey Deadboy-"

Will let out a loud, heartfelt laugh.  "Deadboy?  Damn kid, you're either 
more foolish than you look or you've got balls made out of brass!  But 
after meeting your vampiric double, I tend to think it's the latter."

Xander's eyes widened.  "You met him...I mean me?"

Spike chuckled as he took a deep drag off his cigarette.  "I don't know 
about that.  I vote for the former-"

"Hey-talking here Deadboy Two!"

"Xander, if you could please refrain from your usual antics and 
remember that both Will and Spike do not have a soul."

Xander gulped loudly, his eyes widening in fear.  "Oops."

Angel nodded his head in agreement.  "Yeah Harris, they don't have the 
patience I do," Angel said as he looked over at Giles.  "I told her,
Rupert."

Giles let out a deep breath as he placed is glasses on the table.  "I 
assumed as much.  She appeared to take it a lot better than I thought."

"Take what?" Xander asked.  "What did you do to her this time, Angel?"

"I told her that I was leaving-after the Ascension," Angel said as he 
leaned back in his chair.  "Happy now?"

The whelp rolled his eyes at Angel.  "Why would I be happy that she's 
hurting once again because of you?"  He stood up, pushing his chair 
back.  "You just don't get it, do you Angel?  It's not that I hate you,
it's 
just that I don't trust you.  That pesky little clause in your curse led to

the world nearly being sucked into Hell... not to mention all the pain 
that everyone here went through-except Will, but from what I hear, he 
was a having a blast with his version of your demon-self in his world as 
well. I actually like you.  You've saved my sorry butt more times than I 
can count as well as Willow, Buffy, Cordelia, Giles, Oz-even Wesley 
owes you a few.  But when it comes to the Buff, you hurt her.  And I hate 
seeing her hurt."

Xander turned and walked out.

After nearly a minute of silence, Spike finally couldn't take it anymore.  
"Well, that answers your question, Will.  Balls of steel."

Angel groaned, closing his eyes.  "I hate it when he's right."

"I know.  It is rather annoying, isn't it?" Giles asked softly.

***

"So what's with you and Spike.  That was Spike, wasn't it?  I mean, I 
recognize him from last year."

Willow nodded as she pulled out the change of clothes she had gotten 
from Amy's house.  She handed them to her.  "Yeah, it's Spike."

"He kidnapped you, Willow!" 

Buffy grinned, leaning against one of the stalls, watching her friend 
squirm under the blonde witch's inquisition. 

"Shut up, Buffy," Willow said with a slight tease in her voice. "Or I'll
start 
giving you trouble about Will."

Buffy's eyes widened as her face turned a nice shade of red.  "What 
about Will?"

"Who's Will?"  

"Spike's doppelganger."

"Huh?"   

***

Once Willow disappeared into the bathroom, Spike leaned against the 
headboard and lit a cigarette.  Two days back in Sunnyhell and already 
his unlife was being turned upside down.  

Angel was leaving.

Was it only two weeks ago that he had hated everything that his sire 
was-regardless of his souled state or not?  *Some demon I am,* he 
thought to himself sullenly as he stared at the ceiling above him.  Hell, 
Spike was in a worse state than his double with none of the excuses that 
Will had. 

There were no outside forces that propelled Spike into becoming the 
vampire that he was presently, compared to the vampire he had been 
when he first drove over that bloody Welcome to Sunnydale sign a little 
over a year and a half before.  Everything he was, was a choice made by 
him and his demon.  

"Fuck," he whispered, silently wondering if maybe he did pick up a soul 
somewhere, because he was sure as hell acting like a bloody Nancy-boy.

Growling, he shot off the bed and began pacing the room, not even 
conscious of his naked state.  "What the hell is happening to me?" he 
asked through his fangs.  

It was all so simple in the other world.  It wasn't his fight and if it 
became his fight, there was no damn way he was going to let the world 
end-not while he and Willow were stuck there.  *So, what's changed 
Spikey-boy?* he asked himself as he strolled into the kitchenette and 
flicked his cigarette butt into the empty sink.  After grabbing a blood 
bag, he leaned against the counter and really thought about it.

What did change?  What changed with him?

Willow.

The truce...the slayer...Acathla....his crippled state for over four 
months...Dru's rejection...his sire's demonic return...and finally meeting 
his other self in another world that was so much like himself, but not.  

That's what changed him.  

Seeing himself hard and angry made Spike realize that he no longer 
possessed those traits.  So, maybe it wasn't the meeting of Will that 
changed him, but it was seeing his other self that forced Spike to 
acknowledge that he was no longer the same vampire that he had once 
been.

Which, he thought to himself as he heard the bathroom door open, all 
leads back to Willow and Angel.  

He and Angel had finally found some common ground, managing to 
mend bridges that Spike had thought were beyond repair and Spike 
didn't want to lose that.  

"Spike?"

Spike blinked his eyes and turned to face his lover-standing in front of 
him, wrapped only in a towel with her wet hair still dripping on her 
somewhat clad form.   Her green eyes were wide, and Spike could see 
the concern for him in them.  Giving her a half-smile, he walked over to 
her and tugged the towel loose and dropping it on the ground.  "My, 
don't you look just delectable standing there, Red?" He pulled her tight 
against his cool body, reveling in her warmth.  

She wrapped her arms around his neck and giggled.  "Delectable, huh?  
So, does that mean you want to eat me?" she whispered, her voice low 
and suggestive.

He chuckled, shaking his head at her and dropped a kiss on her lips.  
"Cheeky little thing.  More than you'll ever imagine."

Blushing, she dropped her head from his sight and hugged him.  "So, 
are you okay?  I mean about Angel leaving and all?"

*She never fails to surprise me,* Spike thought to himself as he 
suddenly slid his arms around her back and under her legs and then 
swept her into his arms. *She barely knows me and yet can see into my 
heart better than anyone else ever has,* he said to himself as he  started 
walking towards their bed.  "I'll be alright, luv.  We'll just have to
visit LA 
a lot.  Make it our second home and all."  He dropped her on the 
mattress and quickly followed, covering her hot, flushed body with his 
own.

She wrapped her arms around his waist and began to scratch his back, 
causing him to moan softly.  "Graduation isn't for another couple of 
months, so you'll still have time with him," she whispered against his 
lips right before running her tongue across his mouth.

Growling softly, he retaliated by nibbling on her bottom lip as his face 
changed.  Once his fangs were available, he nipped at it and quickly 
suckled on her wound as he rubbed his penis against her vagina, 
teasing her.

Sighing, Willow arched her lower body into his, almost as if she were 
trying to capture the object of her torment.  Chuckling softly, Spike 
lifted his head and just looked at her, still in awe that this beautiful 
creature loved him and wanted him.

She gave him a sweet smile and pushed herself even closer to him.  
Finally giving in to her, he slid his hard cock into her hot hole-
shuddering at the feel.

As they made slow and passionate love, Spike couldn't help but feel that 
if this was what getting soft meant, then he really didn't care how much 
of a wanker he was becoming.  Not if it meant spending every night in 
his Willow's arms as she held him tightly in her body.

Because as far as he was concerned, it was the closest thing to heaven 
that he'd ever see.

How in the hell did he get to be so lucky?

        ~~~~~~end of chapter six~~~~~~


Chapter Seven



~~~Two weeks later~~~


Growling underneath his breath, Will slid on a pair of boxers over his 
burgeoning hard-on and stomped his way through the apartment to the 
front door.

Satan below, he really *hated* these dreams. 

"You can bloody well stop your pounding, Peaches, I hear you!" 

He heard his sire's double growl impatiently as he rattled the doorknob, 
and Will found himself shivering at the strange familiarity of Angel's 
voice.   Did Spike notice how much alike this post-Hell Angel was to pre-
souled Angelus?  As far as Will was concerned, he had a hard time 
telling the two apart.   And then when he compared the two of them to 
that thing that was running around in his world wearing Angelus' face-
Will could only shake his head and curse those blasted gypsies all over 
again.  That Angelus was not his sire.  Not at all.

Shaking his head, he unlocked the door and swung open it-carefully 
hiding his lower body behind the wood. 

"You changed the locks," Angel said as he eyed him carefully.

"Can't put anything past you, Angelus," Will said, smirking at the dark-
haired vampire's glare.  "I don't know who or what the hell has a key to 
this place, and I'd like to have a bit of control over who comes strolling 
into my home.  I got a key for you in the other room.  I already gave one 
to Spike-"

Angel nodded once, tension radiating from his body.  "Whatever."  He 
started pacing in front of Will, his face closed and angry.  "I've got to
talk 
to you."

Will closed the door, locked it and stood there, his forehead pressed 
against the wood as he tried to will his arousal away.  Normally, he could 
care less what state Angel saw him, but for the last few days-ever since 
the first time he had dreamt of the night of the slayer's 17th birthday 
and the events following it-Will found himself dreaming that particular 
incident repeatedly.  The younger vampire really didn't want to be in the 
position of having to explain to Angel that he had not only enjoyed the 
most poignant moment in Angel's souled life-seeing events through the 
vampire's point of view-but also had the privilege of feeling Buffy's love 
and passion as well.

*Damn dreams,* he thought to himself as the picture of a naked slayer 
flashed through his mind.  *Think about something...anything...* he 
urged himself as a memory of his sire kicking him in the balls came to 
mind.

His cock softened.

Taking a deep breath, he turned around to Angel, clenching his jaw.  
"What?" Will snapped.  "What the hell crawled up your arsehole?"

Angel's eyes flashed yellow as he tossed a large manila envelope onto 
the coffee table.  "I'm leaving."

Will frowned as he stared at Angel.  "When?"

"Tonight," Angel snapped.

Will glanced at the writing on the envelope and saw his name written in 
Angel's familiar script.  "What's this?" he asked, picking up the envelope.

The dark-haired vampire stood with his hands resting on his hips as he 
looked down at the envelope.  "I signed over the deed to the mansion 
and this apartment building to both you and Spike.  You guys can work 
out where you want to live."  Angel sighed, his eyes closing, but not 
before Will saw a glimpse of pain and sorrow in them.  "I don't know how 
Spike feels about staying at the mansion.  We had some 'interesting' 
times in there last year, and he might not want to live there.  You, on 
the other hand, never lived there in either world.  But right now, he and 
Willow are staying in that fallout shelter, and I can't imagine Willow 
being happy there-"

"Wait a minute," Will interrupted.  "Why now?  I thought you were going 
to wait until after that bloke ascends."

Angel growled again as he clenched his fists.  "I was, Will.  Until
Whistler 
came by again.  It seems that I'm needed in LA now, not in a month like 
I originally planned.  Besides, you're doing a fine job.  You've been 
patrolling with her for the last two weeks and she trusts you."

"What about that prom thing that she was planning on going with you 
to?  Are you just going to stand her up?"

"You go," Angel whispered, his head bowed.

"But-"

"Will, shut the hell up and quit arguing with me about this!  I have no 
choice in the matter," he chuckled, his voice ringing with irony.  "No 
more than you did when you got pulled in over here.  We're both 
pawns...insignificant beings in the big battle to keep things balanced.  
What we want or desire isn't an issue with them...they just pull our 
strings and we act accordingly."

Not for the first time in the past two weeks Will wondered if he would've 
been better off taking his chances in his own world.  But as soon as he 
thought that, he remembered what his Willow had said to this world's 
Willow and that seemed to calm whatever edginess his demon had in 
him.  Will would've died in his own world-at his sire's hand-and most 
likely would've been dusted the very same day he was taken to this 
Sunnydale.  At least here, in this strange, warped version of his own 
world, he had a chance to live his unlife...and on his own terms.

"-I'm going to see Spike next and tell him to come talk to you...you two 
can work out where you want to live.  Also, there's a bank book in 
there-I used your real name.  Spike has a dozen aliases, so that 
shouldn't be an issue.  I don't think he's used his name since-"

"-before Drusilla," Will said, interrupting Angel.  "Remember, up until a 
couple of years ago, our past was exactly the same."

Angel nodded.  "I stand corrected," he said, sighing softly.  "I also left
my 
telephone number and address-just in case you need me.  I'm planning 
on coming back for the Ascension, so if you need me here earlier than 
Graduation Day, call me and tell me.  I'll just stay with you or Spike 
when I'm here.

"There's also some cash-I'm sure you must be hitting the end of 
whatever you found here," Angel said, grinning slightly.

Will nodded as a small smile curled his lips.  Their eyes met and Will's 
throat closed when he saw how pained Angel looked.  It was then that he 
knew he would miss this Angel-even more than his own sire-and felt 
his chest tightened.  He walked over to the other vampire and clasped 
his shoulder.  "I can call you?" Will asked, shocked at the neediness in 
his voice.  It had been so long since he felt this way about his Angelus, 
he had nearly forgotten what it was like to want his sire...to need him.  

Angel nodded silently as he turned around and pulled Will in his arms.  
For nearly five minutes, the two vampires stood there, clinging to one 
another, just enjoying the closeness.  "Goodbye Will," Angel whispered 
against his cheek before slipping out the door.

Will collapsed onto the couch, still reeling from Angel's touch and stayed 
there for nearly an hour before finally going back to bed.

Not surprisingly, his hard-on had returned.

***

Spike glared at the manila envelope sitting on the table in front of him 
and wished it would just somehow spontaneously combust. Maybe then, 
Angel would stay.

"Spike-"

The blond vampire ignored him as he reached out and yanked the 
envelope over to him.  "I hate this, Angel," he muttered as he unclasped 
the envelope and shook the contents out onto the wooden surface.

"I know, so do I," Angel whispered.  "I hate it all.  I don't want to
leave, 
but I know I have to."

"What about the slayer?  Have you talked to her yet?"

Angel shook his head no.  "I'm going to see her tonight-before I leave."  
Angel stood up and began pacing the tiled floor.  "It's going to break her 
heart.  That dance this weekend?"

"Yeah, are you coming back for that?"

Angel groaned softly.  "No, I told Will to take her."

Spike snorted in shock at his sire's assumption.  "What if she doesn't 
want to be taken by Will?  I don't know much about mortals and even 
less about teenage rites of passage, but Red's been talking non stop 
about this for over a week."

"I know, so has Buffy."

"And you're just leaving?"

Angel growled as he swirled around and glowered at Spike.  "Don't you 
get it yet, Spike?  I don't have a choice about this.  Just imagine, I stay
for the prom and then something else comes up and I end staying for 
that.  Then, before you and I realize it, Graduation Day and the 
Ascension are here, and of course I stay for that.  

"Before I can sulk off into the shadows, a new influx of demons and 
vampires invade Sunnydale now that the mayor's gone and the town's 
up for grabs...suddenly it's four months later and Buffy and I get caught 
in a rainstorm, end up in bed...making mad, passionate love 
together...and boom, he's back with a vengeance.

"Don't think it's not going to happen, Spike, because, I guarantee you if 
I stay here much longer, I will take her to my bed-the hell with the 
curse.  And then, we'll all be damned."

By the end of Angel's tirade, all the anger and rage that seemed to be 
fueling him, disappeared, leaving his sire leaning against the kitchen 
counter, exhausted.  "I can't do it anymore. I can't stay and keep my 
hands off of her.  I've always been a selfish bastard and no amount of 
guilt is going to stop me from being with her if I remain here in 
Sunnydale."

Spike sighed, rubbing his face.  "Angel, I know, mate.  I just don't want 
you to go...not when-"

"Not when we're finally back where we were a hundred years ago," Angel 
said, finishing Spike's sentence.  "You're not alone in this, Spike.  You 
can't imagine how lucky I feel right now-I never imagined that I could 
have you back in my life while I had my soul.  And now, I've got two of 
you.  Will's feeling it as well.   But, I can't stay."
                
                ~~~end of part 7a~~~

(part 7b)


It was nearly four in the afternoon when Spike finally showed up at 
Will's.  Unlike Angel, Will's counterpart just opened the door using his 
key and slipped inside.

The noise of the key turning the lock woke Will-pulling him from yet 
another dream starring the Sunnydale clan, as Will called them in his 
mind.  This dream, like so many others in the past week, took place after 
Angel had lost his soul.  Will wasn't sure from whose point of view he 
was watching things from-it seemed to change with each scene.  
Sometimes he was seeing events as if it were from the slayer's eyes, 
other times it was from Spike's or Dru's.  The most disturbing of all of 
them, was when he was seeing things from Angelus' point-of-view.  

Will finally understood why Angelus was so out of control once he came 
back and reclaimed his body from his soul:  he was mad.

Stark raving crazy-driven insane by eighty some odd years of 
suppression caused by his soul.  Half the time, Angelus had no idea why 
he did the things he did, just following an instinct warped by time-a 
need to cause pain to demon or human-it didn't seem to matter to him.

Sighing, he sat up in bed and lit a cigarette just as he heard Spike open 
and close the refrigerator.  "Heat some up for me, will ya mate?"

"Already done," Spike said.

Will stared at red tip of the burning cigarette and found himself 
shuddering uncontrollably as he remembered the rage that filled 
Angelus.  No wonder Spike had hated Will's sire so much, Will thought 
to himself as he remembered all he had experienced in his dreams.  
Angelus had taken great pains in putting a broken Spike in his place-
constantly reminding the younger vampire who exactly was the master 
in their warped family.

And Drusilla?  How could she turn her back on Spike after all those 
years of unfailing support and love.  Spike nurtured and cared for her, 
just as Will had done with his dark princess, but as soon as her 'Daddy' 
returned, Dru flung herself into Angelus' arms-nearly forgetting about 
Spike.

"Here you go, mate," Spike said.

Will shook his head as if to clear his thoughts and took the mug from his 
other self's hand.  After drinking half the mug down, Will looked up at 
Spike and found himself sighing.  "My sire is going to destroy my world, 
if he isn't re-souled, isn't he?"

Spike blinked, obviously taken aback by the question.  Frowning 
slightly, he lit a cigarette and leaned back in the padded chair by the 
bed and said nothing for nearly five minutes.  Finally, he just nodded 
slowly.

"I've been having those dreams, you know?  Well, this past week I've had 
a front seat to the wonders of a soulless Angelus.  He was a prick to me, 
but at least I could fight back.  And move out," Will added.

Spike snorted, then downed the last of his meal and slammed the cup 
down on the nightstand.  "It wasn't a picnic, that's for sure.  That's why 
this whole thing is so fucked up."

"You mean Angel leaving?"

Spike nodded.  "You know, I hated Angel...Angelus...either one-it didn't 
matter one iota after I left here last year.  Once I realized that the
world 
wasn't going to get sucked into Hell, I had to pull the car over, because I
was laughing so hard.  The thought that he was sent to Hell just filled 
me with such glee, I nearly woke Dru up with all that cackling.  I 
couldn't believe the slayer did it, considering when I left the mansion 
with an unconscious Dru in my arms, it looked like the prick was going 
to win.  He bloody had a sword to her throat and yet, somehow she 
managed to beat him."  Spike grinned as he stubbed his cigarette out.  
"And then I came back about six months later to find him alive-his 
soulful self-rubbing all over the slayer, and I wanted to kill both of 
them all over again."

"What changed?" 

"Our little adventure in your world.  Seeing those two in the same 
room-as different people-made me realize that as irritating as Angel 
can be-all that righteous, bloody goodness just seeping out of his 
pores-he wasn't nearly as disturbing as Angelus."  He paused for a 
moment, studying his clasped hands in front of him and then looked up 
and met Will's interested gaze. "I realized there, that I could really
like, 
maybe even love Angel-just like I used to love Angelus before the 
curse." 

"And now he's leaving."

Spike nodded.  "And now he's leaving me again."  He shot out of his 
chair and began to pace the perimeter of the bedroom.  "And I hate it, 
even though I know why he's doing it."

Will sighed, agreeing with his other self.  He too felt like he had just 
found his sire after a hundred years of nothing-only to lose him again.  
Even though LA was only a couple of hours away, it still felt like Angel 
might as well be moving back to Europe.  

"-the prom?"

"What?" Will asked.

Growling softly, Spike turned to Will, impatience flaring in his eyes.  "I 
said, are you gonna take the slayer to that bloody dance this weekend?"

Suddenly, Will found that he couldn't stop the laughter that was 
bubbling up out of his chest.  Of all the bloody things to be talking to 
himself about, the prom was about the most outlandish subject he 
could've chosen.  Shaking his head, he looked up at his smiling 
counterpart, instinctively knowing that Spike was thinking the same 
thing, and shook his head at the craziness of his unlife.  

"Oh fuck me," Spike muttered, falling back against the wall as he shook 
his head.  "Bloody Willow is got me acting like a whipped soul boy," 
Spike said, smirking at himself.  "I've got to turn her before I find
myself 
just like Peaches...without a bloody soul!"

Will chuckled softly as he sat up and straightened his legs.  "How's that 
going-the restoration spell?"

Spike scowled, lighting another cigarette.  "They can't revise the one 
they used on Peaches.  It was written for Angelus specifically.  So now, 
Amy, this bloke named Michael and Willow have been digging though all 
of the Watcher's books...as well as sending the word out onto the 
Internet-that they're looking for one."

"What about a demon tamer spell?" Will asked, remembering the one he 
stumbled upon about twenty years ago while looking for a restoration 
spell for Dru.

Spike snapped his fingers as he straightened.  "That might help, but her 
soul...it would still be gone."

Will nodded.  "Yeah, but with a tamer spell, wouldn't her personality be 
in the driver's seat instead of the demon?  Think about it, mate.  If her 
demon was tamed, then the lighter aspects of her personality would be 
able to come forth."  Spike still didn't look convinced.  "I mean, look at 
us, Spike.  Our personalities were stronger than the demon's.  That's 
why we can love,  use our brains instead of letting our fangs do the 
thinking for us.  That's what makes us different.  It's what made Dru 
different too.  Her madness tamed the demon enough for her to be able 
to love."

Spike snorted, disgust clouding his face.  "Dru may be able to love, but 
she's a fickle little bitch.  Don't ever think otherwise.  As soon as I 
stopped being what she had wanted me to be, she found someone else."  
Spike lit another cigarette, scowling softly.  "Your Dru died before she 
could ever betray you.  I almost envy you that.  Because you've got all 
these wonderful memories of her loyalty and her love.  Look at what I've 
got left-the lasting memory of her shagging a Chaos Demon in our bed.  
Bloody bitch."

Will's mouth dropped open in shock as he listened to his other self talk 
about Drusilla.  He couldn't believe the bitterness he heard in this voice 
identical to his own, and wondered if Will would ever feel the same way 
about Drusilla as Spike did. 

The way it stood now, Will didn't think so.  But if the dreams continued, 
who knew?  Two weeks ago, he could've cared less about the slayer and 
her life, and now he was nearly in love with her-all because of some 
stupid dreams that forced him to see things from the young woman's 
point of view.  

"Will?"

Will looked up to his counterpart watching him carefully, regret flashing 
in his eyes.  "I'm not angry with your Dru.  Who knows?  If you'd 
managed to pull off the restoration spell, things might've been different 
on your side."

Will accepted the thinly cloaked apology and shrugged slightly.  "No 
matter, Spike.  My Dru didn't do those things to me, just your Dru."    
He decided not to bring up the fact that if he continued to dream about 
those few months following Angelus' return, Will might find himself in 
the same place that Spike was in.  How could he not?  Already he was 
feeling the pick of Dru's betrayal towards Spike cracking Will's love for 
his Dru.  

Will wasn't sure why that was happening, unless whomever gave him 
these dreams in the first place, wanted to guarantee Will's loyalty if Dru 
ever decided to come back to the Hellmouth while the slayer was still 
alive.

Satan below, he really hoped not-he hated being manipulated.  But 
every time he tried to work up enough anger to rebel against all the 
images he had been sent, it just kinda fell flat.  Whether it was because 
his demon had no real purchase in this world, so it didn't feel compelled 
to act 'demonly' or if it was something else entirely, Will didn't know.

But a part of him hated it.

Clenching his jaw, he swung his legs over the bed and grabbed a pair of 
worn jeans, slipping them on easily over his boxers.  After grabbing his 
cigarettes and dirty coffee mug, Will nodded towards the living the room.  
"Do you want some more?"

"Nah, mate.  I'm gonna head over to the next town tonight and hunt a 
bit.  Interested?"

Will felt his body tense at the thought and gave his other self a terse 
nod.  They did this about twice a week-a way to keep their bubbling 
bloodlust at bay.  Although neither of them had killed yet, Will knew 
they were treading on shaky ground by doing this.  The slayer tolerated 
both of them because she knew they weren't draining their victims 
completely, but what would happen if one of them messed up and 
accidentally did kill?  

He found himself not really wanting to know the answer.

Spike followed him into the living room and began to scan the room with 
a critical eye.  "You've definitely made your mark here," he said as he lit
another cigarette.  "So Will, where do you want to live?"

Will arched his scarred eyebrow at his other self and shook his head.  
"Either place is fine with me."

Spike nodded as he fell down onto the couch and sighed softly.  "I 
thought you'd say that," he said, pausing.  "How would you feel about 
living with me?  Could you handle seeing yourself all the time?" Spike 
asked, smirking over at him.

Chuckling softly, Will shrugged noncommittally.  "You still haven't 
gotten used to living by yourself, have you?"

Spike's eyes flashed as his jaw clenched.  "Damn, how come I never 
noticed how bloody irritating I was before?"

"Because, you never had to deal with yourself before.  You just made 
other people do it," Will said, laughing at both of them.  How many times 
in the past month had Will asked himself the same thing?  Hundreds, at 
least.  But still, he was egotistical enough to enjoy his other self's 
company, and he was pretty sure Spike felt the same way.  "Well, if it's 
consolation to you, I haven't either."

"Haven't what?" Spike snapped.

"Gotten used to living by myself.  Although, I've been doing it a bit 
longer than you have."  Will sat down on the couch next to Spike and 
sighed softly.  "So, you want us to move to the mansion?"

He nodded once.  "It's big enough for both of us and Willow..." he trailed 
off, letting his head fall back and rest against the back of the couch.  
"And with the Poof leaving..."

Will groaned as he stretched his long legs out on the coffee table and 
stared at the blank television screen as he mentally listed the pros and 
cons with living with his other self.

The pros were easy:  no more loneliness.  

Simple, succinct and to the point.

The cons?  Well the first one that came to his mind was the slayer.  She 
had become a part of Will's life...whether his other self wanted to admit 
it or not, and Will didn't want her to feel put out if he moved in with 
Spike. 

Although the two mortal enemies seemed to get along better than Will 
ever did with the Buffy Summers from his own world, they still seemed 
to grate on each other's nerves.  Whether it was because they knew each 
other too well or if it was because both of them had shared a painful 
albeit short past, Will didn't know.

And he wasn't sure if he wanted to know.  "What about Willow?" Will 
asked him as he turned to face Spike.  "Will she have a problem with me 
being around her?"

It was Spike's turn to arch his scarred eyebrow at Will.  "You mean about 
you shagging her-*my Willow*-in your world?"

Will couldn't help but be relieved by the smirk on his other self's face.  
He really didn't feel like fighting over something that, in some ways, felt
like it had happened to a totally different person.  "Yeah mate, that."

Spike snorted as his closed his eyes again.  "Pet, she forgave you before 
we even left your world.  She understands demons.  And whatever 
uneasiness she felt around you when you came here, quickly 
disappeared as soon as she found out you saved the slayer's ass.  It also 
doesn't hurt that you don't seem to be interested in Willow like that 
anymore-since you've been lusting after the slayer."  Spike opened his 
eyes again.  "You don't want Willow anymore, do you?"

Will almost shook his head no automatically, but stopped himself.  He 
needed to really think about this and be honest to Spike-even if his 
other self was the only person he was honest to.  He closed his eyes and 
thought about that night he spent in the mortal Willow's arms and 
chuckled softly at the memory.  *Damn if she wasn't a firecat in the 
sack,* he thought to himself.  But when he thought about her now and 
tried to invoke those same lustful thoughts, all he could seem to dredge 
up was a deep caring for her-no desire.

"No, I don't," he whispered.  "As shocking as that seems, even for me, I 
just don't.  Damn, I've changed," Will said, suddenly unnerved by just 
how much he had been transformed over the past few weeks.

"No, you haven't," Spike said, sitting up.  For a moment he looked 
unsure as he tipped his head to the side, staring at his other self.  
Suddenly Spike took a deep breath and met Will's eyes.  "I'm going to 
tell you something...but you have to swear not to say anything to 
anyone."

Will found himself straightening his posture as he heard the urgency in 
his other self's voice.  "What?  I swear.  Who the hell would I tell?" he 
nearly growled out, irritated at his other self's ignorance.  Didn't Spike 
know that he was the only one that Will ever talked to or shared 
anything with?  That he was the only person Will truly and completely 
trusted in this crazy world.

Spike snorted in disbelief.  "The Poof-the slayer-Willow even."  

Will listened to Spike list the names and sighed inwardly.  Whatever 
Spike wanted to tell him, Will found himself definitely interested.  "Yes,
I 
promise I won't say anything," Will said softly.  "So, what is it?"

"I wanted to shag the slayer," Spike muttered underneath his breath as 
he hung his head down.  He looked up and Will found himself staring 
into Spike's familiar blue orbs.  "Used to fantasize about it when I was 
stuck in that wheelchair.  Probably would still want to bed the 
bitch...well, bed her and/or bag her...if I hadn't kidnapped Willow."

Stunned, Will slowly stood up and began to pace the living room floor as 
he tried assimilating this latest piece of information into his mind.  "So,
what you're saying is, that my feelings aren't totally being pushed onto 
me...that this isn't completely out of character for me?" he asked Spike, 
feeling his fangs dig into his lower lip, tasting his blood that slipped
out 
of the wound.  *When the hell did my face change?* he asked himself as 
he waited for Spike to answer him.

Spike nodded slowly.  "That's what I'm saying.  That your big bad self-
even if you were in your own world...if you'd been confronted with our 
version of the great Buffy the Vampire Slayer, would want to shag her 
from here to next Sunday."

"But, why didn't I feel that way about my slayer-in my world?"

"Because ducks, she wasn't the same slayer.  Your slayer's darker, 
angrier.  The bloody light that sparkles in her eyes when she was 
bantering with  you all the while the pounding living shit out of you, 
wasn't there.  You never saw how she repeatedly put Peaches-the 
fucked-up, soulless version of our sire-in his place.  You didn't see what 
makes her special.  She wasn't special in your world.  She was just 
another slayer-robotic and emotionless-doing her duty and waiting to 
die so another one would be called."

"Fuck," Will whispered, falling back against the wall.  "You're serious, 
aren't you?"

Spike nodded. "Dead serious."

"What changed?"

Spike shook his head and flung up his arms impatiently.  "Fate!  Fuck, I 
don't know," he whispered.  "Maybe, if I hadn't taken that last sniff of 
Red's hair at the factory or if I hadn't been sucked into your world and 
had the opportunity to taste your Willow," Spike said as he stood up and 
began to pace himself.  "Or had gotten a chance to hold my Willow that 
first night she came to your world, I might have come back and done the 
dance with the slayer!  The thing that always held *me* back with the 
slayer is the one thing you don't have to worry about.  You haven't been 
at the business end of her stake and you haven't smacked her around.  
**You** aren't her 'mortal enemy.'  **I** am.   

"So quit brooding about this and just shag her and let me live vicariously 
through you.  It would please me to no end to know that I, 
somewhere...somehow, got the opportunity to not only screw her brains 
out," Spike paused, grinning gleefully.  "But maybe even to love her.  
You're not alone.  If we feel this way-I guarantee you that there's a 
whole bunch of Spikes in other worlds that want the same damn thing."

Will just stood there, staring at his grinning counterpart and began 
laughing as Spike's words sunk in.  It was crazy...as insane as Drusilla 
was...but Spike was correct, it felt right.

Spike laughed as well as he stood up and stubbed out his burnt 
cigarette.  "Go get dressed.  It's sundown and we are going hunting.  And 
then I'm coming back to my Willow-woo her into bed and you're going 
to comfort a broken hearted slayer," Spike said as he turned on his heel 
and went into the bedroom.  Seconds later two shirts, a pair of socks and 
Will's Doc Marten's flew out the doorway onto the couch and the floor.  
Spike stuck his head into the room and grinned.  "Go on, what are you 
waiting for?" Spike asked as he opened his cellphone and began 
punching in a number.

"Who are you calling?"

"Red, so she doesn't freak when she comes home to find me gone.  Now, 
shoo!" he said, waving his hand at Will.

As Will grabbed the black tee-shirt off the couch and slipped it on over 
his head, he realized that he was still grinning like a fool.

*Spike was right,* he thought to himself.  *This was alright-me falling 
for the slayer.  Almost like fate.*

How bloody fucked-up was that?

"Ready?" Spike asked Will as he walked into the living room and headed 
for the front door.  

Will nodded as he watched his counterpart open the front door and 
before he stepped outside into the hallway, he turned to look at Will, 
merriment dancing in his eyes.  "Have you met the slayer's mum yet?"

Will shook his head slowly, suddenly dreading where this conversation 
was going.  He knew of Spike's and Joyce's friendship and out of 
everything he had learned of his other self, found that fact one of the 
most disturbing.  Taking an unneeded breath, he met Spike's curious 
gaze.  "Not personally, but I've dreamt of her."

Spike nodded to himself as his eyes looked over Will's shoulder, 
unfocused.  He suddenly turned to Will as a slow grin curled his lips.  
"Change of plans then, ducks!  First we go and say hello to Joyce, then 
hunt.  Can't have you hankering to get into the slayer's knickers if you 
don't even know her mum.  Besides," Spike paused as he smirked at 
Will.  "She likes me and hates the Poof."

Will chuckled softly at the sheer incongruity of the situation and found 
himself nodding in agreement with Spike.  "Good enough for me," he 
said softly as he gently pushed his other self out of the door.  "So Spike,
what's this I hear about her hot cocoa?"

Spike's eyes closed in sheer bliss as he shook his head.  "Oh mate, she 
makes the best cocoa-not that bloody tasteless instant crap that 
everyone drinks now, but the real stuff.  Home made.  And she always 
adds those cute little marshmallow in it.  I swear..." 

                ~~~~end of chapter seven~~~~

Chapter Eight



Willow looked over at her friend as she pulled out the pink prom dress 
from its wrappings and placed it carefully on her bed.  "So, what do you 
think?" Buffy asked her.

It was beautiful and Willow told Buffy as much as she sat down next to it 
on the bed and fingered the satiny material.  "Has Angel gotten his tux 
yet?"

Buffy shook her head slowly as she stared at the ray of light on the 
carpet from the bedroom window.  "I don't know.  I didn't see him last 
night," she said quietly.  

"Are you okay?" 

Buffy shook her head slightly and suddenly shrugged dramatically.  "I'm 
alright," she said, frowning.  "I've been thinking about last week and that
demon's blood."  Willow met her friend's painful gaze.  "Will, what am I 
going to do when he leaves?"

"Survive, just like you always do."

Buffy blinked her eyes, ignoring the wet tears that were rolling down her 
face.  "I miss him.  It's like he's already pulling away..."

Willow sighed as she leaned against the headboard and closed her eyes.  
"Buffy, I know you're hurting, but you know that this has got to be really 
difficult for him too.  I'm sure he doesn't want to leave; he just knows 
that he has to."

"I know that, Willow.  It just doesn't make it any easier."

"But is the alternative any better?"

"What alternative?"

"Him staying and you two continuing as you are...not a couple, but a 
couple.  I mean, do you guys even kiss?"

Buffy shook her head as she wiped her face.  "No, not anymore.  It's too 
easy to get caught up and then it's real hard to calm down..."

"That's what I thought.  I can imagine how hard it is for you, but think 
about how difficult it must be for Angel."

"Why should it be more difficult for him?"

"One, he's a man and I don't know if he's got testosterone running 
through him or not, but I do know that vampires are very tactile beings.  
They love to touch, taste...feel...smell things, so much more than we do.  
Their heightened senses make them like that.  Their sexual drive is like 
permanently set on high.  Spike told me just the other day that Angelus 
loved to 'rut with anything that got his balls off.'  Angelus is in Angel."

Buffy sighed, her head dropping as she stared down at her feet.  "I know 
Willow.  You know, we've, you and me, never talked about it-but the 
senses and being a tactile creature?  It's the same with me.  It must be a 
slayer thing too."  She stopped and looked up at Willow, tears streaming 
down her face.  "This last year?  It's been horrible.  To see and not
touch.  
To want and not have.  I know he's doing the right thing-leaving like he 
is-but my heart doesn't care.  It just wants my Angel."

Willow quirked her head to the side and gave her friend a small smile.  
"It'll get better, Buffy.  It might even get better quicker as soon as he 
leaves..."

"Why do you say that?"

"Will."

Buffy blinked a couple of times and said nothing.

"Buffy, you know something's there-"

"Is there really something there?  Or have the Powers manufactured it so 
I could have an Angel replacement without having Angel.  No pesky 
curse to get in our way if we decide to fall into bed.  Doesn't that bother
you?  It bothers the hell out of me."

"How do you feel about him?"

The blond just shrugged noncommittally.

"No feelings either way?  I don't believe that," Willow said as stood up 
and walked over to the slayer.  "I just think what has happened is that 
you've shoved down whatever you were feeling once you found out Angel 
was leaving."

Buffy shook her head no.

"And you never were attracted to Spike?  Ever?"

Buffy's head shot up and met Willow's curious eyes.  "What?"

Willow couldn't stop the grin from curling her lips.  "I knew it!  I knew
it!  
You had a crush on Spike!"

Buffy waved her hand at Willow as she shook her head.  "I lusted after 
Spike, but I can't stand him!"

"Even now?"

"Now he's yours, so what difference does it make?"

"Because *Will* is the difference.  *Will* is Spike, Buffy.  He's not
Angel.  
He's Spike."

"But those dreams!"

Willow shook her head at her friend and grabbed Buffy's hands, stilling 
her.  "Those dreams weren't given to him to make him like Angel, they 
were given to him to make him like Spike." Willow saw the confusion in 
Buffy's eyes and tried another angle.  "Remember when Angel, Spike 
and I first came back?"

"Yeah..."

"And remember what Angel said about Will, when he compared him to 
Spike.  How different they were?"

Buffy nodded again.

"How different are they now?"

Groaning, Buffy fell back on the bed, barely missing her prom dress and 
closed her eyes.  After nearly a minute, she opened them to look up at 
Willow.  "Not much.  Will's more considerate, easier to talk to..."

"Sounds like Spike to me...at least the way he is to me.  Compare the 
way Spike treats me to the way Will treats you."

"Oh God," Buffy said as she sat up.  "You're right.  I never made the 
comparison."  A tentative smile curled her lips but quickly fell as Willow 
watched Buffy mouth *Angel.*  "But before I can let my heart even 
consider Will, I have to not only let Angel go, but I have to know if
Will's 
here to stay."

"Exactly.  And what better way to let go of Angel than to have him 
gone...to LA...as in not here, in Sunnydale.   As for the Will staying
part?  
Well," Willow shrugged.  "I don't know how to do that part.  But," she 
added, still grinning.  "That doesn't mean that there isn't a way to find 
out.  It's just a matter of time."

She watched Buffy snort in disbelief as the slayer shook her head and 
closed her eyes-a small smile curling her lips.  *If I can only get rid of 
the sadness I see in her eyes,* Willow thought to herself, *then I'd know 
for sure my friend would be alright.*

***

It wasn't until the Spikes had reached the front door of the Summers' 
home, that Spike realize that not only was the slayer still home, but 
Willow was there as well.  He stopped and turned to his other self.  "Do 
you feel them?" 

Will nodded as his eyes darted up to the lit window on the second floor.  
"Yeah, I sure do.  I wonder if he's told her yet?"

Spike shook his head as he lifted his hand up to knock on the door.  
"Nah, knowing him, he'll wait until they're on patrol."  He shrugged and 
rapped his knuckles on the wood.  "Oh well," he said as he shrugged.  
"Another interesting night at the Summers' home.  Knowing our luck, 
Peaches will come and we can have a bloody party," he whispered as he 
leaned against the door frame and rubbed his weary face.  A part of 
himself was shocked at how bitter he sounded, but he couldn't seem to 
stop himself.  He didn't want Angel to leave and in some ways, it felt like
a repeat of a hundred years ago, when Angelus told Spike to stay in 
London with Dru while his sire went to Romania to meet Darla.

Dru cried for two days and that was even before Angelus had been 
cursed.  And Spike couldn't seem to shake the uneasy foreboding that 
plagued his thoughts since Angelus had left.  

A part of him hadn't even been too shocked when Darla found them a 
week later as she told Angelus' childer the news.

And now, Angel was leaving again-also because of a woman.

Pushing himself off the door, he stepped back once he heard the steady 
footsteps of Joyce Summers as she walked across the wooden floor 
towards the front door.  Pushing his sire out of his mind, he turned to 
Will.  "Be nice, mate, and don't worry-she doesn't bite," he added, 
unable to hide the smirk on his face when he caught the nervous flinch 
on Will's face.  "But she does wield a mean ax, so don't piss her off-"

"Spike!  And Spike?" Joyce greeting, unable to hide the surprise and 
wonder in her voice, after she swung open the front door. "You must be 
the other Spike, from that other world?"

"That's right," Will said gruffly.

Spike snickered as he shook his head at his other self.  "Don't mind 
him, Joyce.  I think it's been a while since he's met a mortal mother..."

"Spike!" Spike heard Will growl out as he watched Joyce struggle 
unsuccessfully at hiding her growing grin.  

"Be nice, Spike," she admonished gently as she opened the door and 
waved them in.

Just as Spike was going to tell Joyce that Will needed an invite, he 
watched his other self step across the threshold with obvious ease.  
Confused, he almost asked him how, but watched Will shake his head, 
mouthing: Later.

"Mom!"  Spike's head shot up at the sound of the slayer's voice and 
watched as both Buffy and Willow began running down the steps.  "Who 
is-" she stopped as her eyes landed on them.  "Oh, hi Spike, Will.  
Come on in."  Spike could hear the slayer's heartbeat speed up at the 
sight of Will and inwardly grinned.  *She may be in love with Angel, but 
she's halfway there with Will as well,* he thought to himself as he 
leaned to the side and grinned at Red.

"Hello love," he said quietly as he watched Willow step out from behind 
Buffy and skip across the room towards him.

"Hi," she said nervously as she slid to a stop right next to Joyce.  Spike 
watched as she wrung her hands nervously, just itching to jump in his 
arms.  *It's so nice to know that I have that effect on her,* he thought to
himself.

Unable to hide her smile at Willow, Joyce waved at the girl.  "Go on, 
Willow.  Buffy already told me about you two," she said softly.

Jumping out from behind Joyce, Willow ran into Spike's arms, giggling 
as he lifted her in the air.

***

"Are they always like that?" Joyce asked Buffy and Will once the three of 
them moved into the kitchen.  Both Buffy and Will were sitting at the 
kitchen table as Joyce was making hot cocoa.

"Yes," Will answered, surprised to hear the slayer's voice saying the same 
thing as well.

"If it wasn't so cute, I think I'd be sick," Buffy added, grinning over at
her 
mom.

"I wouldn't go that far, pet."

Buffy smirked as she glanced over at the vampire.  "You're only saying 
that because it's you.  If it had been me and Angel acting like that-you 
would've been sticking your finger down your throat and gagging-"

"I wouldn't-"

"Yeah, you would, mate.  I know, because I did," Spike said, walking into 
the room with his arm around Willow.  

Willow leaned up on her tiptoes and gave Spike a quick kiss.  "You ready 
to go, Buffy?  I've got a paper to write for English."

"Sure thing, Wills," Buffy answered, pushing back her chair.  She smiled 
at Will.  "Have fun, you two.  And stay out of trouble," she added.

"Yes ma'am!" Will said, snapping his hand in a salute.  

"You're such a jerk," she told him gently.  "Bye mom-see you later.  Bye 
Spike, Will!"

Before Buffy could drag Willow out of the room, the red-haired witch 
stopped and kissed Spike once again.  "Bye," she whispered against his 
lips.

Will studied the couple quietly, wondering when watching them together 
had stopped hurting.  He couldn't actually pinpoint when, but it had.  
Although he could blame the dreams for a lot of his ability to get over his
Willow, he knew that it wasn't just that.  Even before he had left his 
world, he had been feeling angry at Willow and her need to be with his 
sire-regardless of Will's feelings about the matter.  She was supposed to 
be in love with him, and yet her actions seemed to dictate that it had 
been Angelus she was in love with and he was just her thing on the side.

*What a mess,* Will thought to himself as he watched Joyce place a mug 
of hot cocoa in front of him and Spike.  She turned around, grabbed 
hers from the counter behind her and then sat down at the table with 
them.

"So Will, how do you like this Sunnydale?"

        ~~~~end of part 8a~~~~

(part 8b)

Buffy sighed softly as her fingers ran across the bottom seam of her 
Kevlar vest, thinking about what her and Willow had talked about earlier 
that evening.

Once she had admitted out loud that she was attracted to Spike, it was 
almost as if the dam had burst in her heart, flooding her with a whole 
new batch of emotions in regards to Spike's doppelganger.  Curiosity, 
fear, intrigue, attraction, desire...a sense of relief with the knowledge 
that he too was a preternatural being like her.  Although a part of her 
still wanted that 'normal' life she constantly strove for, Buffy innately 
knew that a regular human mate would never fit into that package.  Her 
life was fraught with too many dangers.  Her duty pretty much 
superceded everything else in her life-including love.  Whomever she 
chose to be with for the rest of her short life, he would have to be 
someone that understood her as a person and as a slayer.  

Other than Cordelia and Xander, Buffy knew of no humans that could 
do that.  

So, where did that leave Buffy?  

In love with a souled vampire that she could never have and attracted to 
a soulless vampire that she could have-if she let herself.

"I guess that's the problem then," she said softly, suddenly tensing as 
she felt Angel's familiar presence.

"What's the problem?" he asked quietly, stepping out of the shadows of a 
building, joining her on the sidewalk.

"Angel," she said as she glanced over at him, ignoring the rush of 
excitement that tingled throughout her body at the sight of her vampire.  
Her eyes finally met his and just like two weeks before when she had 
seen him in the library before the de-ratting spell, she knew something 
was wrong.  "What happened?" She asked as she stopped walking, 
grabbing his arm.

He looked away from her and began staring off to the side.  "I don't think 
we should talk about this here.  Not with Faith loose."  His free hand 
grabbed hers, gently pulling it off his arm.  "Let's go back to your 
house," he said, still holding her hand in his.

"Angel!  What?"

"Not here, Buffy.  Trust me, not here," he added, a bit more forcibly.

Dread filled her as he gently urged her to begin walking.  Unwilling to 
resist him-even if it meant waiting a bit longer for whatever horrible 
thing that Angel had to say.

And she knew it was horrible.  Horrible like when he told her two weeks 
ago that he was leaving Sunnydale...that his redemption no longer lay 
with her.  Horrible like discovering that the man she had already fallen 
in love with was a vampire-the very thing that she was born to kill.

Horrible like finding out that something so beautiful and so right-
making love to the one person that you were born on this earth to love-
could have such a horrid consequence as Angel losing his soul.

Within ten minutes, they made it to her house.

Another minute and they had climbed the tree by her bedroom window 
and both were inside her room.

Another five minutes left Buffy sobbing in Angel's arms, all the while his 
eyes were shut against the pain in his own heart.

Another ten minutes, and Angel was gone from her life.

Twenty minutes after that, Angel, once Angelus, the Scourge of Europe, 
the childe of Darla and favorite of the Master, now a souled vampire in 
search of his redemption, was driving out of Sunnydale, towards LA.

***

Will looked down at the unconscious human he had just finished 
feeding from and sighed inaudibly at the strange twists his unlife had 
taken.  Other than that young kid he killed the first night he found 
himself in this world, he hadn't killed.  

And, he hadn't missed it much either.

It was almost as if his demon had been tamed.

*Just another thing in a long list of changes,* he thought to himself, as 
a picture of a young, blond slayer flashed through his mind.  Irritated at 
himself and his thoughts, he glanced up to Spike chuckling softly at 
him.

"What?" Will asked as he scowled at his double.

"You're doing it again," Spike said, waving at Will's face.  "Your face is
all 
broody and if I didn't know better, I'd think I was hunting with my 
souled sire and not my soulless double."

"Sod off," Will snapped as he shook out a cigarette and lit it.  "Just 
because you got the girl-who happens to love you and not our Poof of a 
sire-doesn't mean everyone else should be as happy as you are."  Will 
paused as he pursed his lips.  "This isn't any easier than me chasing 
after my Willow in my world.  The slayer loves Angel.  Not me, Angel.  
How in the hell did I do this to myself again?  Why do I always want his 
leftovers?  First Dru, then Willow and now Buffy.  Souled or not, I'm still
panting after Angelus' women."  He snarled, feeling his face change as 
his demon finally rose and had stomped out of the alley-not even 
caring if Spike was following him.

At first, when they had talked of this in his apartment, Will had felt 
oddly elated-knowing that he hadn't been alone in his feelings for the 
slayer.  Once Spike had admitted that he had been attracted to the 
slayer, it had opened the door for Will to finally accept his own feelings.
But then, when they had gone to see Joyce and he saw the slayer-
knowing that she was going to have heart shattered later on, and not by 
Will-his mood plummeted.  How could he compete with Angel?  Angel 
had a soul; Buffy believed they were soulmates.  What was Will, when 
compared to Angel?  A soulless demon from another world who had been 
dropped onto her doorstep.  He'd never wanted to be the consolation 
prize, and yet that's all he seemed to be.  For once in his long, crazy 
unlife Will wanted to be the fucking grand, all-expense paid prize! Just 
to be number one-not two. 

He suddenly growled as he slammed his fist on the brick wall beside 
him, ignoring the sharp rush of pain as the bones broke.  Unfortunately, 
it didn't help push the frustration and anger away, so he lifted his hand 
up to hit the damn thing again.

A familiar pale hand stopped him.

Growling, Will whipped around and found himself staring at Spike.  "Let 
go," Will demanded through his clenched teeth.

"No," Spike said.  "You're acting like a fool!"

"And you wouldn't be?"

His double then rolled his eyes at Will, snorting in agreement.  "Alright, 
you got me there, mate.  But just listen to me before you start falling 
down this road of self-mutilation.  I've been where you're at."

"Bullshit.  When?  A hundred years ago?  Well, so was I.  I remember it 
all too well, spending day after day holding a broken Dru as she wailed 
on and on about her missing Daddy.  Like he wasn't my sire first," Will 
snarled, almost gratified at the presence of  that familiar pang of 
jealousy that he had fought against for over a hundred and thirty years.  
"And then bloody Darla comes around, and I fucking find myself playing 
nursemaid for both of the bints for two fucking weeks before Darla 
finally pulled herself out of her funk!"   

A part of himself was shocked at the rage Will felt and how strongly his 
demon reacted to the memories.  It had been nearly three weeks since it 
had surfaced for anything other than feedings, that at times Will 
wondered if he had lost it somehow.  But for the second time that night, 
its anger surged through his body, Will found himself welcoming it-
enjoying its familiarity in such an unfamiliar world filled with unfamiliar
feelings and complications.

It was like the returning of an old friend.  

*Ah, reunions are nice,* he thought to himself as he fought the urge to 
howl into the night like some injured wolf protesting his afflictions.

"-And then you spent another two months solely taking care of Dru-
until she finally just stopped crying," Spike had said softly.  "But what 
you didn't go through was nearly six months of living hell taking care of 
Dru after you helped send your sire to Hell.  

"All over again, I was reminded why I was second best and why he was a 
better vampire than I could ever be.  When I saw her in the arms of that 
Chaos Demon, something inside of me just broke.  Even though I had 
tried again, a couple of times even, to win her back after that, a part of 
me knew it was over."  Spike released Will's arm as he fell against the 
alley wall.  "And when I caught her again with the same demon, we 
finally just talked.  And you're right-we've never been the vampire that 
Dru loved and desired.  Angelus was her only real love.  

"With Willow-she loved you.  She still loves you.  Whatever is going on 
between her and your sire, it has more to do with their demon's 
attraction than it has to do with her feelings towards you.  Yes, you did 
end up becoming second choice for the time being, but if things had 
been different, you might have won that little battle."

As Will thought about what Spike said, his face slipped back to its 
human mask.  "Oh, the ironies, my man...the bloody ironies," he 
whispered as the corners of his mouth turned upwards into a sardonic 
grin. 

"What ironies?" Spike asked, lighting a cigarette again.

"I don't even care anymore-not about Willow," Will confessed in 
between snorts of cold laughter.  "I would've died for her and now, it's 
like a memory...a good memory, but a memory just the same."

Growling, Spike threw up his arms.  "Now you're bloody confusing me, 
mate?  What the fuck are you talking about?"

"After three weeks of these dreams and not having to deal with the 
every-other-day-relationship I was having with her, I realized, it was the 
best thing that could've happened to me-me getting sent here.  
Obviously, if my sire was trying to kill me," he added, sarcasm lacing his 
voice.  "But none of this takes fixes my problem with the slayer.  So what 
if Angel is leaving.  What difference does that make if Buffy still is in
love 
with him?" 

Spike just shook his head at Will, snickering softly.

"What?"

"It's just that you're so obtuse sometimes."  Suddenly, Spike let out a 
harsh laugh.  "Did you realize how crazy that sounded?  I'm telling 
myself that I'm obtuse."  Spike growled softly at himself.

"Well, you are. And so am I," Will said, chuckling.  "So, why am I 
obtuse?" he asked, turning the conversation back on the topic of the 
slayer.

"Because, you know that we can be in love with more than one person at 
a time.  You are.  I am.  Hell, even Peaches is."

"Yeah, but we're vampires and the slayer isn't."

"And that's important why?  If I remember right, vampires aren't even 
supposed to love and yet our fucking bloodline is filled with feeling 
demons.  Try another one, mate."

Will sighed as he thought about what Spike had said.  What was Will 
afraid of?  That Buffy wouldn't be able to be in love with two men at the 
same time?  That she would accept him as her partner, but secretly hold 
Peaches in the sacred spot of her mate in her heart?

*Well, that about sums it up,* he thought to himself.  Lifting his head, 
he looked over at his other self and spoke his fears.

Spike nodded in understanding.  "If I were you, I'd be feeling the same 
thing.  But luckily, I'm not you.  And I can tell you right now, she's 
already halfway in love with you.  All you have to do is watch her around 
you-listen to her heartbeat and take a sniff when you see her-her 
arousal soars every time she sees you.  Just let it go and enjoy it.
She'll 
come around.  She just needs some time to heal..."  Spike said over his 
shoulder as he began walking towards his car.  "Can you do that, mate?" 
He asked Will as he turned around, still moving.

"Do what?"

Spike growled, rolling his eyes heavenwards.  "Let it be, mate.  Can you 
just let it be?  Be her friend; help her and stand by her when she needs 
it.  One last thing, and then I'm shutting my trap and I'll deny I ever 
gave you advice on how to woo my bloody mortal enemy."

Will watched his other self grin as the blond vampire shook his head in 
amazement.  

"Okay, what?  I'm all ears, Spike."

Spike stopped walking and leaned against the black DeSota as he lit a 
cigarette.  "One thing I know about the slayer is that she loves like we 
do.  Completely and totally.  If you give her time, she'll be yours."

"You're sure?"

Spike nodded and opened the car door, slipping in behind the wheel.  
Once Will was inside the car, Spike looked over at him.  "I'm sure, mate.  
Bloody sure."

As Spike pulled the car out onto the street, Will thought about what his 
double had said and realized he was right.  If his dreams were any 
indication of the inner workings of the blond slayer, she did love like 
they did.  And if, or when according to Spike, she finally admitted to 
herself and Will her feelings towards the vampire, she wouldn't ever 
leave him. 

As Spike pulled the car out onto the street, Will thought about what his 
double had said and realized he was right.  If his dreams were any 
indication of the inner workings of the blond slayer, she did love like 
they did.  And if, or when according to Spike, she finally admitted it to 
herself and Will her feelings towards the vampire, she wouldn't ever 
leave him.

With that thought, Will leaned back against the car seat and stared out 
the window, finally relaxing for the first time since Angel had visited his
apartment earlier that day.

Maybe this life-in this world that was not his own-would turn out.

He could only hope.

***

Willow's eyes shot open at the sound of Spike's footsteps as he made his 
way down the long flight of steps from the store to their home.  Seconds 
later, she heard the key turn the lock and the door open slowly.

He was being so quiet and stealthy, Willow was almost loath to break his 
concentration, but she needed to speak with him.  Or if she were really 
honest with herself, she needed to be held by him.

She had just gotten off the phone with Buffy ten minutes before and it 
took every bit of her restraint not to run over to her friend's house and 
hold the heart-broken slayer.  She might've even talked Spike into 
escorting her over there, if Will hadn't shown up at Buffy's bedroom 
window himself.

Willow then bade her friend good-bye, innately knowing that Will would 
do whatever he could to help the slayer out.  Even if he hadn't admitted 
it, Willow knew the her mate's double was already in love with the slayer 
and an in-love Spike would do whatever he could to make his chosen 
feel better.

It was like in their make-up or something.  

Sitting up in bed, she switched the bedroom light on and had to stifle a 
giggle at Spike's expression.  

"Hi," she whispered.

His scarred eyebrow shot up as he shook his head at her in mock 
dismay.  "Hello, Red.  I didn't even realize that you were awake," he 
admitted before pulling his tee-shirt over his head.  Once bare-chested, 
he sat down on the edge of the bed and began unlacing his boots.  "I 
take it, the Poof talked to the slayer tonight."

She nodded, not surprised that he already knew.  Other than that 
chance meeting at Buffy's house, they hadn't talked much since she left 
for school earlier that morning.  Of course he talked to Angel since she 
had left.  He was Spike's sire.  And since their little vacation in the
other 
world, Spike and Angel had finally managed to mend their relationship.  
"Yeah, I just got off the phone with her not ten minutes ago.  If Will 
hadn't shown up over there, I was going to ask you to take me to her 
house so I could spend the night."

"How's she doing?"

Willow pursed her lips and shook her head.  "Not good.  That this 
happened right before the Prom only makes it worse."

Growling softly, Spike kicked off his jeans and flung himself onto the 
bed beside her.  "I know.  I told him as much today when he stopped by.  
He was pretty adamant about leaving-even if he really didn't want to."  
Spike suddenly snorted-disbelief plastered across his face.  "The 
fucking fool said that Will could take her to the Prom just as easily as he
could."

Willow groaned loudly, shaking her head.  "How old is he?  247 vampire 
years-plus the obligatory 25 years of mortal living and he thinks that 
someone could replace him-just like that?"  She couldn't help the 
melodramatic sigh that slipped out of her mouth.  Angel was just so 
exasperating at times.  Almost like a tarnished innocent, as incongruent 
as that thought was.  "I know that she knew it was going to happen.  But 
in her mind, she put off freaking about this-until Graduation-knowing 
that he was still going to be here."

Spike suddenly rolled over on top of her, cupping her face as he stared 
into her eyes intently.  Her stomach rolled slowly as the nerves in her 
body began to stir in excitement, despite her worry for her friend.  Just 
feeling him this close to her, did her in.  "Love, let it go.  Let my other
self take care of this.  He's going to stay there with her most of the
night.  
She's in good hands."

Biting her bottom lip, Willow nodded-knowing he was right.  "Is Angel 
gone?"

"Yeah love.  He left right after leaving Buffy's.  Matter-of-fact, Will and
I 
passed him on the highway as we were coming back."  He lifted a finger 
and wiped her face, catching a tear that was slowly running down her 
face.  "No more tears, 'kay?" He asked right before kissing her.

A few minutes later, a breathless and now naked Willow nodded in 
compliance.  "No more tears."

***

Will shook off his duster as he listened to the slayer wished Willow a 
good-night over the phone and closed the connection. Sitting on the bed 
beside her, he wrapped his arm around her and once she turned the 
phone off, took it from her and placed it on her nightstand.   He bent his 
head down and met her watery eyes as he watched her struggle to hold 
the tears inside.  "Pet, it's okay.  You can cry," he said as he gently 
tugged her languid body over on top of his.  As he felt her wet face as it 
pressed against his chest, he rubbed her back as the sobs shook her 
body.

Neither of them spoke again and her tears finally subsided as her body 
gave into the exhaustion that was surely plaguing her.  It was then, as 
he listened to her slowly and steady breaths signaling she was sleeping, 
did he finally admit to himself that he was in love her.  How it had 
happened, was anyone's guess.  Remembering what his other self had 
told him earlier that night, Will decided that Spike had been right.  

*Just let it go and enjoy it,* Will mentally repeated the words that Spike 
had told him. 

As he looked over at the covered window, he thought of his sire's 
double-who was most likely now on his way to LA-and silently wished 
him luck in his new life.

Even though Will would never acknowledge it out loud, he knew he owed 
Angel for so much more than a bank account and part-ownership of the 
mansion and the apartment building.  Angel not only helped Will find 
himself in this new world, but he also knew that whatever chance he 
had with the beautiful young woman Will held in his arms, it was 
because of Angel.

Just as a hundred years before, when Angel's curse opened the way for 
Spike to win Dru's heart, Angel's absence gave Will the chance to do the 
same with Buffy.

He only hoped the end result was better this time around.

        ~~~~end of chapter eight~~~~





TBC............