Nicole Kidman's Reports

<body topmargin=0 leftmargin=0 marginheight=0 marginwidth=0> <table cellpadding=0 cellspacing=0 border=0><tr> <td valign="top" colspan=2 height=82 BGCOLOR="#9900CC" TEXT="#080000"> <div> <FONT SIZE="5" COLOR="#FFFFFF" FACE="Arial" ><B>Hairdoo Online</B></FONT><B> </B></div> <div> </div> </td> </tr><tr> <td valign="top" width=140 BGCOLOR="#9900CC" TEXT="#080000"> <div> <A HREF="index.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Hairdoo Online"><U>Hairdoo Online</U></A></div> </td> <td valign="top" height=398 BGCOLOR="#FFFFFF" TEXT="#080000"> <div> Nicole Kidman's Reports</div> <div> <TABLE BORDER="0" CELLPADDING="1" CELLSPACING="1" WIDTH="543" BORDERCOLORLIGHT="#C0C0C0" BORDERCOLORDARK="#808080" FRAME="VOID" RULES="NONE" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0" > <tR> <tD VALIGN=CENTER HEIGHT= 551 WIDTH="539"><div> <B><U>My Experiences at the 2002 Oscars in Hollywood - By Nicole</U></B></div> <bR> <div> The day of the most famous award ceremony in the whole entire universe arrived at about 9.30 in the morning. I got up, had some Vegemite and then I had a bath.</div> <div> I was quite nervous but my friend Bruce called and told me I was bound to win. Bruce is a fellow Aussi, he lives in my nose.</div> <div> After doing my make up I did my hair-doo so that it looked lovely, I then climbed into my Oscar gown.</div> <div> I felt abit silly waling around in the dress all day. </div> <div> At dinner time Baz arrived. I asked him if he had seen my Clover as I need it for my umbresure. Baz gave me money to stop me going to the papers and telling them how he smashed my ribs in on the set of Moulin Rouge. He got angry one day with Ewan and just went mental with a hammer. I forgive him because he is Aussi.</div> <div> I arrived at the Oscars and that bint Renee Zelweger latched onto me because I'm more famous than she is. I told her to rack off but she wouldn't. The joey.</div> <div> I finally got seated. I was infront of Baz. He kept kicking my chair just to be cheeky.</div> <div> Tom came onto the stage and blabbed on about shite. I just sat with my middle finger up at him and told him to rack off. He should have been cast as Frodo Baggins because it would've saved those guys some money on special effects. I mean, he is a midgit with bad feet so he was made for the part really, oh, except he can't act.</div> <div> Anyway, anyway, anyway, I din't win. Halle Blackberry did. Bint. She just stood and cried. The joey. I hate her. She has bad breath. Her speach was shite too. Mine would've gone like this............................................................................................................................</div> </tD> </tR> </TABLE></div> <div> <B><U>NICOLE'S OSCAR SPEACH</U></B></div> <bR> <div> <TABLE BORDER="0" CELLPADDING="1" CELLSPACING="1" WIDTH="513" BORDERCOLORLIGHT="#C0C0C0" BORDERCOLORDARK="#808080" FRAME="VOID" RULES="NONE" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0" > <tR> <tD VALIGN=CENTER HEIGHT= 322 WIDTH="509"><div> <B>Oh my god. Oh my god. Thankyou so much! ARGH! Oooh I don't have a speach ready! </B></div> <div> <B>Well, Judi, this is for you...not really, I'll send you a duplicate. Urm, I'd like to thank Baz, Jim, Judi, Ewan, Richard, my kids, my Clover and my Mum and Dad. NOT Tom Cruise and his bint Penelope Crud...urm who else would I like to thank...ooh, the whole of the British population for being so great. Buy my single. If Tom hadn't stolen my British house I'de be there more often.</B></div> <div> <B>Oh and dear Bruce...thankyou all.</B></div> <div> <B>Ok I'm done.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Ps: Buy my single.</B></div> <div> <B>Pps: Due to those costumes I'm in constant physical pain.</B></div> </tD> </tR> </TABLE></div> <bR> <div> <TABLE BORDER="0" CELLPADDING="1" CELLSPACING="1" WIDTH="242" BORDERCOLORLIGHT="#C0C0C0" BORDERCOLORDARK="#808080" FRAME="VOID" RULES="NONE" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0" > <tR> <tD VALIGN=CENTER HEIGHT= 19 WIDTH="238"><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="1x1.gif" HEIGHT="19" ALIGN="bottom" WIDTH="238" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></tD> </tR> </TABLE></div> <bR> <div> <TABLE BORDER="0" CELLPADDING="1" CELLSPACING="1" WIDTH="508" BORDERCOLORLIGHT="#C0C0C0" BORDERCOLORDARK="#808080" FRAME="VOID" RULES="NONE" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0" > <tR> <tD VALIGN=CENTER HEIGHT= 57 WIDTH="504"><div> Well guys, I think that's it for now, Rack off.</div> <bR> <div> Love <FONT SIZE="3" COLOR="#FF0000" FACE="Arial" ><B>Nicole</B></FONT> xXx</div> </tD> </tR> </TABLE></div> <bR> <div> <TABLE BORDER="0" CELLPADDING="1" CELLSPACING="1" WIDTH="242" BORDERCOLORLIGHT="#C0C0C0" BORDERCOLORDARK="#808080" FRAME="VOID" RULES="NONE" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0" > <tR> <tD VALIGN=CENTER HEIGHT= 19 WIDTH="238"><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="1x1.gif" HEIGHT="19" ALIGN="bottom" WIDTH="238" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></tD> </tR> </TABLE></div> <DIV ALIGN="LEFT"></DIV> <div> <I>Written by and Copywrite to C'Genius'B</I></div> <bR> </td> </tr></table></body>