Back to Your Heart

<body topmargin=0 leftmargin=0 marginheight=0 marginwidth=0> <table cellpadding=0 cellspacing=0 border=0 height="100%"><tr> <td valign="top" width=200 BGCOLOR="#003399" TEXT="#080000" background="066c8c00erkjxk.jpg"> <bR> </td> <td valign="top" BGCOLOR="#0066CC" TEXT="#080000"> <div> <FONT SIZE="5" COLOR="#99CCFF" FACE="Arial" ><B>Welcome to the Official Narcolept Site!</B></FONT><FONT SIZE="1" COLOR="#FFFF99" FACE="Arial" > </FONT><FONT SIZE="1" COLOR="#FFFFFF" FACE="Arial" > </FONT><FONT SIZE="1" COLOR="#CC0000" FACE="Arial" > </FONT>  |     <A HREF="index.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Welcome to the Official Narcolept Site!"><U>home</U></A></div> <div> <B>Back to Your Heart</B><B>   |   </B><A HREF="id40.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Perfect...and Absolutely Nothing Else"><U>Perfect...and Absolutely Nothing Else</U></A><B>   |   </B><A HREF="id41.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Kiss Before Crying"><U>Kiss Before Crying</U></A><B>   |   </B><A HREF="id42.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Thinking of You"><U>Thinking of You</U></A></div> <div> Back to Your Heart</div> <div> <B>Title: Back To Your Heart</B><FONT SIZE="1" COLOR="#000000" FACE="Arial" > </FONT></div> <div> <B>Author: Soulfire Stories</B> </div> <div> <B>Rating: PG-13 for a little violence [fight]</B> </div> <div> <B>Disclaimer: Gilmore Girls the show and the characters do not belong to me, I am merely a person writing a fanfiction on the show. I am not making </B><I><B>any </B></I><B>money on this.</B> </div> <div> <B>Archive: If you want it, just email me at: </B><FONT SIZE="1" COLOR="#0000FF" FACE="Arial" ><B><U>Soulfire Stories@aol.com</U></B></FONT> </div> <div> <B>Summary: Sometimes all love deserves is a second chance.</B> </div> <bR> <DIV ALIGN="LEFT"></DIV> <div> <I><B>It's not that I can't live without you</B></I> </div> <div> <I><B>It's just that I don't even want to try</B></I> </div> <div> <I><B>Every night I dream about you</B></I> </div> <div> <I><B>Ever since the day we said goodbye</B></I> </div> <div> <I><B>If I wasn't such a fool</B></I> </div> <div> <I><B>Right now I'd be holding you</B></I> </div> <div> <I><B>There's nothin' that I wouldn't do</B></I> </div> <div> <I><B>Baby if I only knew</B></I> </div> <div> <I><B>Chorus:</B></I> </div> <div> <I><B>The words to say</B></I> </div> <div> <I><B>The road to take</B></I> </div> <div> <I><B>To find a way back to your heart</B></I> </div> <div> <I><B>What can I do</B></I> </div> <div> <I><B>To get to you</B></I> </div> <div> <I><B>And find a way back to your heart</B></I> </div> <div> <I><B>I don't know how it got so crazy</B></I> </div> <div> <I><B>But I'll do anything to set things right</B></I> </div> <div> <I><B>Cause your love is so amazing</B></I> </div> <div> <I><B>Baby you're the best thing in my life</B></I> </div> <div> <I><B>Let me prove my love is real</B></I> </div> <div> <I><B>And made you feel the way I feel</B></I> </div> <div> <I><B>I promise I would give the world</B></I> </div> <div> <I><B>If only you would tell me girl</B></I> </div> <div> <I><B>Chorus</B></I> </div> <div> <I><B>Give me one more chance, to give my love to you</B></I> </div> <div> <I><B>Cause no one on this earth loves you like I do</B></I> </div> <div> <I><B>Tell me</B></I> </div> <div> <I><B>I turn back time</B></I> </div> <div> <I><B>To make you mine</B></I> </div> <div> <I><B>And find a way back to your heart</B></I> </div> <div> <I><B>I beg and plead</B></I> </div> <div> <I><B>Fall to my knees</B></I> </div> <div> <I><B>To find a way back to your heart</B></I> </div> <div> <I><B>Chorus</B></I> </div> <div> <B>-Back to your heart</B> </div> <div> <B>-The Backstreet Boys</B></div> <bR> <bR> <div> <B>Dear Diary-</B> </div> <div> <B>Have you ever felt something so perfect, something so great, that your whole body jumped with joy? Have you ever tripped over your own words when that special somebody came around? Have you ever felt yourself longing for one glimpse or conversation with that person? And when you finally do you're in heaven? That is how I felt the whole time I was with Dean, he was my first boyfriend and everything about him and our relationship was perfect... up until he dumped me. He dumped me because I couldn't say the "L" word to him when he said it to me, it wasn't like the feelings weren't mutual, I was just so shocked when he told me and then the words never found it's way out of my mouth.</B> </div> <div> <B>I do LOVE Dean, there is no denying that, it's just I thought he already knew. I thought he knew I loved him when I started babbling about unrelevant things. I thought he knew I loved him when I went out of my way to see him. I thought he knew I loved him when I held his hand, or leaned my head against his chest... I thought he knew.</B> </div> <div> <B>How couldn't he know? Wasn't it obvious? Wasn't the love I held for him painted all over my face?</B> </div> <div> <B>Well obviously I guess it wasn't that obvious or I would still be with him, and to make things worse me and Tristan kissed.</B> </div> <div> <B>To clear things up... I DO NOT LOVE or even LIKE Tristan in that way, although the kiss did make us kind of closer but never in that way. There is nothing wrong with Tristan Dugray except that he lives to torment me, or used to, or whatever... it's just that he's not Dean. He doesn't make me squeamish like Dean did, he doesn't make me giggle like an idiot like Dean did... he doesn't make me feel the way Dean did.</B> </div> <div> <B>I don't daydream about Tristan like I used to do all the time with Dean.</B> </div> <div> <B>I miss Dean.</B> </div> <div> <B>-Rory Gilmore</B> </div> <div> <I>Beep. Beep. Beep.</I> </div> <div> Rory let out a groan, she turned the alarm clock off, she pushed herself out of bed and walked over to her closet. She grabbed her favorite blue sweater and blue jeans and carried them to the bathroom to change into them, thankfully it was a Saturday, so she didn't have to go to school. Rory shut the bathroom door and let out a sigh, she felt so tired, if it had been up to her she would had slept in all day and never woke up, but that would have caused her mom to worry about her and that was the first thing that she didn't want to do. Rory changed into her clothes quickly, and walked out of the bathroom and proceeded downstairs to the kitchen, where she was sure that her mother would be, drinking coffee as usual. </div> <div> "Morning mom" </div> <div> Rory smiled at Lorelai and sat down at the kitchen table; this day was already going slow and she had already thought of Dean twice in the last 20 minutes. </div> <div> "Morning sweetheart" </div> <div> Lorelai examined her daughter over and sighed sadly; <I>She misses Dean </I>Lorelai thought. <I>That would explain her depressed attitude lately... the boyfriend blues.</I> </div> <div> "You okay?" </div> <div> Rory nodded sadly and grabbed a donut and bit into it, it wasn't that she didn't want to tell her mom what was on her mind, it was just that she didn't feel like talking about it, talking about it would only cause Rory to think about Dean even more, well if that was possible. </div> <div> "Fine" </div> <div> Silence. </div> <div> "You know when one who talks all the time, has nothing to say, the silence can be defeaning" </div> <div> Thump. Thump. Thump. Rory continued to look down at the kitchen table, but she swore that her mother and the rest of the people of Stars Hollow could hear the loud beating of her heart. </div> <div> "I'm going to Lane's, bye" </div> <div> Rory pushed herself up from the table and left the house in a hurry, before Lorelai could say anything in return; Before she could say something that could suck Rory back into the house. Rory needed out of the house, even if it was even for a few minutes, she needed to get away, maybe to the library, yes reading books always helped her escape her harsh reality, she could fantasize about other things when reading books, she always let her mind wander when she had a book in front of her. </div> <div> Shakesphere. Poe. Alcott. </div> <div> She could pretty much read anything by anybody, she would enjoy the book just as long as it had a good plot and respectable dialouge... Rory Gilmore wasn't a very picky reader. </div> <div> <B>[Stars Hollow Library]</B> </div> <div> Rory sat at one of the library tables farthest to the left, her eyes were engrossed in: </div> <div> <B>"William Shakesphere's Romeo and Juliet"</B> </div> <div> After reading a few more sentence, Rory pushed the book away, not really wanting to read anymore, usually Rory was all for reading a book especially by William Shakesphere, but today was not like every other day. </div> <div> "Rory?" </div> <div> Rory looked up from her hands when she heard someone's voice enter her ear, Rory felt herself freeze when she found herself staring up at the face of Dean. </div> <div> <I>Oh oh oh! It's Dean. Okay Rory, act normal... act like you haven't been thinking about him the whole time you were pretending to read that book.. act like you aren't extremely giddy to see him right now and yes you did just say the word giddy. Normal. Normal. Normal. You can do this. Be causual. Be calm. Okay...</I> </div> <div> "Uh, hi" </div> <div> <I>Good... just don't bring up cake or gum and you'll be fine. Oh no, he's staring, why is he staring? There's something on my face! Oh man, he's still staring...</I> </div> <div> "The tragedy of Romeo and Juliet by William Shakesphere--" </div> <div> Dean grabbed the book and stared at the cover intently and then started flipping through the pages of the book nonchantly. <I>Okay Dean, don't freak out... ex-boyfriends and ex-girlfriends bump into each other all the time... it's completely normal... completely normal. As long as you don't start tripping over your own words, everything will be okay.</I> </div> <div> "Yes, Romeo and Juliet. I was reading it, but I'm not anymore, obviously." </div> <div> Dean nodded. </div> <div> "Obviously" </div> <div> <I>He just mocked me.</I> </div> <div> "So what have you been up to?" </div> <div> <I>Keep the conversation going on Dean... you can do this.</I> </div> <div> "Since you dumped me? Not a lot" </div> <div> <I>Okay she got me there... Rory 1 Dean 0.</I> </div> <div> "I, uh, have to go, bye" </div> <div> Rory grabbed her jacket and fled the library leaving Dean behind. </div> <div> "Rory wait!" </div> <div> Rory whirled around to find herself face to face with Dean, again. </div> <div> "Hmm?" </div> <div> Dean brushed his hair out of his eyes and stared at Rory. He smiled at her. </div> <div> "Forgot your bus card" </div> <div> Dean handed Rory her bus card. </div> <div> "Oh thanks" </div> <div> Dean ran his hands through his hair. </div> <div> "No problem. So, uh, do you want to get some coffee" </div> <div> Rory stared back at Dean, trying to figure out if he was talking to her or some other girl that was behind her or something, but once she realized she was the only girl around, she felt her heart start to beat fast and hard. </div> <div> "Yes." </div> <div> "Now?" </div> <div> "Yes." </div> <div> "Ok, Luke's?" </div> <div> "Yes." </div> <div> Dean laughed. </div> <div> "You're very argumentive, you know that?" </div> <div> "Yes." </div> <div> Rory looked at Dean and laughed, turning away from him for a second, she then looked back at him. </div> <div> "Cool let's go Rory" </div> <div> Dean started walking to Luke's and a few seconds Rory followed him. </div> <div> The two walked to Luke's in silence, not really know what to say, actually Dean was surprised he had the guts to ask Rory to go get coffee with him. Ever since the night he dumped her, he had thought about how much he wanted and needed Rory Gilmore in his life but everytime he tried to ask Rory something or even go see her, he chickened out at the last minute. He couldn't face the girl that he had fallen in love with, admitted he loved, and then got his heart broken by. You know guys break very easily and when Rory Gilmore didn't tell him that she loved him back, he had broken in half... his pride, his heart, his hope... he had never felt the way he did when he was with Rory with any other girl and he doubted he would ever. Dean hadn't really planned on asking Rory out for coffee... but it just seemed like the right thing to do... it wasn't like they were out on a date or anything, they werent.. </div> <div> <I>We're not on a date... at least... I don't think so.</I> </div> <bR> <div> ***</div> <bR> <div> <I>Okay, this is not a date Rory! It's just two people sitting at a little table in Luke's coffee shop, drinking some coffee... ooh sugar... okay now I feel like I'm my mom... well most daughters turn out to be like their moms and it's not like she would be the worse person to be transformed into and now I am wandering away from the subject at mind. Dean. Dean. Dean. Yes there he is, sitting across from me, oh no he's giving me that 'serious' look and he's adorable as usual... and now I'm talking to myself.. okay I have officially lost it.</I><FONT SIZE="3" COLOR="#FFFFFF" FACE="Arial" > </FONT></div> <div> <B>[Luke's Coffee Shop]</B><FONT SIZE="3" COLOR="#FFFFFF" FACE="Arial" > </FONT></div> <div> "Are you okay Rory?"<FONT SIZE="3" COLOR="#FFFFFF" FACE="Arial" > </FONT></div> <div> Rory nodded absently and took a drink of her coffee, her heart was beating so hard she thought at any minute it would fly out of her chest ... and that was just plain disturbing.<FONT SIZE="3" COLOR="#FFFFFF" FACE="Arial" > </FONT></div> <div> "Yes, I'm fine!"<FONT SIZE="3" COLOR="#FFFFFF" FACE="Arial" > </FONT></div> <div> Dean nodded and took the last sip of his coffee, he put the cup to the side and smiled at Rory; Once their eyes connected Dean suddenly looked away, afraid of what he would say if he looked into the beautiful eyes of Rory Gilmore for one second longer.<FONT SIZE="3" COLOR="#FFFFFF" FACE="Arial" > </FONT></div> <div> "Dean?"<FONT SIZE="3" COLOR="#FFFFFF" FACE="Arial" > </FONT></div> <div> Rory tried to get eye contact with Dean but no matter what angle she looked at him from, he avoided eye contact.<FONT SIZE="3" COLOR="#FFFFFF" FACE="Arial" > </FONT></div> <div> "I have to go"<FONT SIZE="3" COLOR="#FFFFFF" FACE="Arial" > </FONT></div> <div> Dean slammed a $10 bill on the table and grabbed his jacket and fled the coffee shop.<FONT SIZE="3" COLOR="#FFFFFF" FACE="Arial" > </FONT></div> <div> Dean felt like screaming at the top of his lungs, why was it he had to fall in love with the one person that couldn't love him back? Dean smothered a VERY annoying sigh and ran across the street, he just needed to get away from Rory Gilmore, only then he could think straight again. Dean looked up and stopped his walking when he saw the book store, <I>books... Rory likes books. </I>Dean pushed the door to the bookstore open and listened to the jingle jangle sound the bell made whenever someone entered the book store, festive at times but mostly annoying.<FONT SIZE="3" COLOR="#FFFFFF" FACE="Arial" > </FONT></div> <div> "Morning Dean"<FONT SIZE="3" COLOR="#FFFFFF" FACE="Arial" > </FONT></div> <div> Dean did a little half nod half wave and walked over to the second book case to the left, he traced all the edges of the books with his fingers while skimming the title and author of the books.<FONT SIZE="3" COLOR="#FFFFFF" FACE="Arial" > </FONT></div> <div> "The Cask of Amontilldo by Edgar Allan Poe"<FONT SIZE="3" COLOR="#FFFFFF" FACE="Arial" > </FONT></div> <div> Dean smiled remembering the time Rory sat indian style in front of him, telling him about the whole book, the book sounded incredibly boring but when it came out of Rory's mouth it seemed intriguing. The book was basically about the main character getting revenge, actually all Poe wrote was revenge, Dean remembered Rory saying once that Poe was a very "angry" person.<FONT SIZE="3" COLOR="#FFFFFF" FACE="Arial" > </FONT></div> <div> <I>So he was neglected like a poor little puppy dog no one would want to play with and then he writes disturbing revenge seeking stories and he makes millions? Bring on the anger...</I><FONT SIZE="3" COLOR="#FFFFFF" FACE="Arial" > </FONT></div> <div> Dean grabbed the book and bounced over to the counter, slamming it down on the counter, he grabbed his wallet and proceeded to pay for the book; Now if someone asked Dean why in the world was he buying a book he knew he never would read, he would have no idea how to reply to that question. He had no intention to read this book ever, but just the fact that this was one of Rory's favorite books motivated him to buy it, maybe he would then have a piece of Rory Gilmore with him at all times. It was a pretty stupid idea, but that was his wishful wishing kicking in.<FONT SIZE="3" COLOR="#FFFFFF" FACE="Arial" > </FONT></div> <div> "Thanks"<FONT SIZE="3" COLOR="#FFFFFF" FACE="Arial" > </FONT></div> <div> Dean gripped onto the book and walked out of the store, he walked around the corner and disappeared.<FONT SIZE="3" COLOR="#FFFFFF" FACE="Arial" > </FONT></div> <div> <B>[Gilmores Residence]</B><FONT SIZE="3" COLOR="#FFFFFF" FACE="Arial" > </FONT></div> <div> Rory blew a few loose strands of her brown hair out of her eyes, she laid in the fetal position on her bed, her chin in between both of her hands; What had she done wrong? Why did Dean run off like that? This was the first time they talked in weeks and it ended with him running off.<FONT SIZE="3" COLOR="#FFFFFF" FACE="Arial" > </FONT></div> <div> "Ugh"<FONT SIZE="3" COLOR="#FFFFFF" FACE="Arial" > </FONT></div> <div> Rory pushed herself up and looked around her room, she was dying, well not literally, but the silence, the odd and awful silence, was driving her insane.<FONT SIZE="3" COLOR="#FFFFFF" FACE="Arial" > </FONT></div> <div> "Hmph"<FONT SIZE="3" COLOR="#FFFFFF" FACE="Arial" > </FONT></div> <div> <I>Yes when I can't think of normal words to say, bring on the made up ones.</I><FONT SIZE="3" COLOR="#FFFFFF" FACE="Arial" > </FONT></div> <div> Rory looked over at her digital clocked and read the time:<FONT SIZE="3" COLOR="#FFFFFF" FACE="Arial" > </FONT></div> <div> 2:16 pm.<FONT SIZE="3" COLOR="#FFFFFF" FACE="Arial" > </FONT></div> <div> It was still early, well in a way it was, and here she was in her room moping over her ex-boyfriend... Again. Rory didn't know if she could take this anymore, either it was be with him or move on...<FONT SIZE="3" COLOR="#FFFFFF" FACE="Arial" > </FONT></div> <div> <I>But he doesn't want me anymore, he dumped me, he hates me... just because I couldn't say I loved him. I have no chance whatsoever.</I><FONT SIZE="3" COLOR="#FFFFFF" FACE="Arial" > </FONT></div> <div> Being with him wasn't in the equation right now, considering that he had ran out on her earlier, and moving on and giving up on Dean was just physically impossible. Rory wished that it was that easy, but the harsh reality was, that it would never be that easy, because once you fall in love... you don't fall out.<FONT SIZE="3" COLOR="#FFFFFF" FACE="Arial" > </FONT></div> <div> <B>[Gilmores Residence - 11:55 pm]</B><FONT SIZE="3" COLOR="#FFFFFF" FACE="Arial" > </FONT></div> <div> Dean paced back and forth on the front lawn of Rory's house, trying to find out exactly why he had come here. He knew that he wanted to tell Rory something... something important, but he hadn't really thought of how he would say it to her. Dean wasn't much of a planning kind of guy and the one time he had planned something, it had gone terribly wrong...<FONT SIZE="3" COLOR="#FFFFFF" FACE="Arial" > </FONT></div> <div> <I>No... don't think about that, remember you came here to tell Rory something, that really important something that couldn't wait until the morning? Now, don't go chickening out now...</I><FONT SIZE="3" COLOR="#FFFFFF" FACE="Arial" > </FONT></div> <div> Dean gulped down whatever kind of fear or doubt and he picked up a little pebble and threw it at Rory's bedroom window and when he didnt' see her moving or a light coming on in the room, he threw a few more pebbles.<FONT SIZE="3" COLOR="#FFFFFF" FACE="Arial" > </FONT></div> <div> "Mmm..."<FONT SIZE="3" COLOR="#FFFFFF" FACE="Arial" > </FONT></div> <div> Rory fluttered her eyes open slowly, she threw her legs over the side of her bed and stared at her window oddly when she heard the distinct sound of pebbles hitting against her window.<FONT SIZE="3" COLOR="#FFFFFF" FACE="Arial" > </FONT></div> <div> "What in the world?"<FONT SIZE="3" COLOR="#FFFFFF" FACE="Arial" > </FONT></div> <div> Rory mumbled to herself as she walked over to her window very slowly. She drew the curtains back and peered outside her window and to her shock Dean was standing outside of her house. Rory pushed her window open and leanded her head outside of the window.<FONT SIZE="3" COLOR="#FFFFFF" FACE="Arial" > </FONT></div> <div> "Dean?"<FONT SIZE="3" COLOR="#FFFFFF" FACE="Arial" > </FONT></div> <div> Dean waved at Rory.<FONT SIZE="3" COLOR="#FFFFFF" FACE="Arial" > </FONT></div> <div> "Hi!"<FONT SIZE="3" COLOR="#FFFFFF" FACE="Arial" > </FONT></div> <div> Rory smiled, the image of Dean outside of her house would be branded in her memory forever.<FONT SIZE="3" COLOR="#FFFFFF" FACE="Arial" > </FONT></div> <div> "What do you want Dean?"<FONT SIZE="3" COLOR="#FFFFFF" FACE="Arial" > </FONT></div> <div> Dean scratched his head.<FONT SIZE="3" COLOR="#FFFFFF" FACE="Arial" > </FONT></div> <div> "Can you come out here?"<FONT SIZE="3" COLOR="#FFFFFF" FACE="Arial" > </FONT></div> <div> "Okay"<FONT SIZE="3" COLOR="#FFFFFF" FACE="Arial" > </FONT></div> <div> Rory shut her window and grabbed her jacket and threw it on and proceeded to walk outside, where Dean was.<FONT SIZE="3" COLOR="#FFFFFF" FACE="Arial" > </FONT></div> <div> "Hi"<FONT SIZE="3" COLOR="#FFFFFF" FACE="Arial" > </FONT></div> <div> Rory smiled sheepishly at Dean, once she walked over to him. Dean looked up and smiled at Rory, he took his hands out of his pants pocket.<FONT SIZE="3" COLOR="#FFFFFF" FACE="Arial" > </FONT></div> <div> "Hey"<FONT SIZE="3" COLOR="#FFFFFF" FACE="Arial" > </FONT></div> <div> Rory looked around.<FONT SIZE="3" COLOR="#FFFFFF" FACE="Arial" > </FONT></div> <div> "So you wanted to say something to me?"<FONT SIZE="3" COLOR="#FFFFFF" FACE="Arial" > </FONT></div> <div> Dean nodded.<FONT SIZE="3" COLOR="#FFFFFF" FACE="Arial" > </FONT></div> <div> "Yeah, I did, I mean do. Rory?"<FONT SIZE="3" COLOR="#FFFFFF" FACE="Arial" > </FONT></div> <div> Rory looked at Dean immediately.<FONT SIZE="3" COLOR="#FFFFFF" FACE="Arial" > </FONT></div> <div> "Yes?"<FONT SIZE="3" COLOR="#FFFFFF" FACE="Arial" > </FONT></div> <div> "I love you."<FONT SIZE="3" COLOR="#FFFFFF" FACE="Arial" > </FONT></div> <div> Rory was taken by surprise by his comment but then before she could say a word, Dean leaned over and brushed his lips against hers.<FONT SIZE="3" COLOR="#FFFFFF" FACE="Arial" > </FONT></div> <div>  </div> <div> to be continued...</div> <bR> <div> back to <A HREF="id37.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Fanfiction"><U>Fanfiction</U></A></div> <bR> </td> </tr></table></body>