web hosting short URLs photo sharing

Star Date 4523.3, Captain Kirk, Mr. Spock and Ensign Chekov have met in one of the Enterprise's briefing rooms. The subject of the discussion is Space Outpost K-7 and nearby Sherman's Planet. History of the area reveals that 23 solar years ago the area was the scene of a battle between the Federation and the Klingon Outpost -- results of the battle were indecisive. And while both sides maintain a claim on the area, Spock is of the opinion that the Federation has the better claim.

Under the terms of the Organian Peace Treaty (remember the Organians from times past?) the side which can prove that it is able to more efficiently develop Sherman's Planet will gain control. And as Captain Kirk puts it, "And unfortunately, though the Klingons are brutal and aggressive, they are most efficient."

The ship's intercom sounds and Uhura alerts Kirk that she has received a priority one sub-space distress call from Space Station K-7. Kirk puts the ship on red alert - battle stations, ordering warp six. Distress call priority one is more than an emergency, it means total or near total disaster.

Nearing the space station, the Enterprise approaches armed for battle. Chekov, now at his station on the bridge, exclaims, "But -- there's nothing there. Just the station."

Puzzled, Kirk breaks communications silence and has Uhura contact K-7. As contact is made he asks them to explain the nature of their emergency -- the area is completely peaceful -- the station intact. Mr. Luri, manager of the station replies to the call somewhat at a loss for words apologizing for the call and asking for Captain Kirk to beam over -- he'll try to explain.

"You'll - try to explain?", Captain Kirk answers, "You'd better be prepared to do more than that!" and moves purposely for the transporter room calling for Spock to join him.

Arriving on the space station, Kirk immediately confronts the embarrassed station manager, plying him with questions as to why he issued a priority one call when there was no emergency.

"That was my order, Captain.", announces a man standing apart from the station manager.

Jim Kirk looks over to the other man. Mr. Luri explains that this is Neals Barress, out from Earth and in charge of the development project for Sherman's Planet.

Kirk looks over to the man and asks sarcastically if that gives him the authority to put an entire quadrant of the galaxy on defense alert.

Another man (Armmed Darvan), Barress's assistant pipes up and announces that Mr. Barress is the Federation Undersecretary in charge of Agricultural Affairs in this quadrant.

"And that gives him the authority", advises Spock quietly to Kirk.

"And now, Captain.", orders Barress, "I want all available security guards. I want them posted around the storage compartments."

"Storage compartments?! Storage compartments?!", Kirk is again puzzled.

Darvan pedantically explains that they mean the storage compartments for the quadrotritacale.

"The what? - what?", demands an impatient Kirk. "What's --- quadrotritacale?"

Mr. Luri reaches behind him, picks up a small vial and hands it to Captain Kirk. The latter pours some into his hand and looks, "Wheat. So what?", looking at the others as if they are space-happy.

"Quadrotritacaalie is not wheat, Captain", explains Barress patiently. "Of course I wouldn't expect you or, uh, Mr. Spock to know about such things, but quadrotritacale is a rather ...."

"Quadrotritacaalie is a high-yield grain.", cuts in Mr. Spock, "Four-lobed hybrid of wheat and rye. A perennial also, if I'm not mistaken. The root grain, tritacale, can trace it's ancestry all the way back to 20th century Canada ...." Kirk interrupts his First Officer, telling him that he has made his point --- Neals Barress has been taken off his superior posturing.

Mr. Luri explains that quadrotritacale is the only earth grain that can be grown on Sherman's Planet. They have several tons of it at the Space Station for shipment. Further, Mr. Barress feels that there are Klingon agents in the area who will sabotage the shipment in hopes of undermining the Federation claim on the planet near-by.

"You issued a priority one distress call for a couple of tons of wheat?!", demands Kirk angrily facing Barress. Kirk goes on to tell the man that he issued a priority one call without an emergency and that he'll take full responsibility for it. Barress wants to know what Kirk means. Mr. Spock explains that misuse of the priority one signal is a Federation offense.

Barress now begins to grow angry himself and denies misuse -- he wants that grain protected.

Mr. Luri, seeing an ugly situation developing and caught in the middle, tells Captain Kirk that the grain is important and asks if he couldn't spare a couple of guards to post by it's storage. The space station has a large number of ships constantly passing through.

Kirk begins to reply but is stopped by his First Officer who remarks aside that it seems the logical and prudent thing to do since the Sherman's Planet affair is of importance to the Federation.

Quieted, Captain Kirk looks around and reaches for his communicator. Contacting Uhura, he has the Enterprise stand down from red alert, orders two "and only two" security guards to beam down and report to Mr. Luri, and authorize shore leave for all off-duty personnel.

Closing his communicator, Kirk looks up at the enraged Under Secretary. Mr. Barress addresses, Jim, "Captain Kirk, how dare you authorize a mere two men for a project of this importance! Star Fleet Command ....."

Looking at his adversary, Kirk proclaims, "I have never questioned the orders or the intelligence of any representative of the Federation.", and turns to leave, then looks back, "Until now." The Captain strides out leaving Barress glaring at his back. (Luri, the station manager is wearing an expression of 'why me')

A little later, Spock and Kirk are in another part of K-7 when they run into Chekov and Uhura on shore leave. After a bit of small talk, Kirk (hoping for another who knows nothing of the grain) pulls out the vial he got from Mr. Luri earlier and asks Chekov what he makes of that.

Chekov looks into the vial and exclaims, "Ahhh, quadrotritacale! I've read about this but, uh, I've never seen any before."

"Does everyone know about this wheat but me?", questions a disappointed Kirk.

"Not everyone, Captain.", answers Chekov, "It's a Russian inwention." "Oh.", returns the Captain and walks out.

Nearby we overhear the bartender telling Cierano Jones that he doesn't want any more spiken flame gems -- thanks to him, he (the bartender) already has enough spiken flame gems to last him a life time.

Strolling over, Chekov and Uhura join the space drifter (Jones) and the bartender at the bar. Jones is busy trying to barter his bits and pieces of items to the other -- who is steadfastly refusing all offers. Jones, telling his customer (the bartender) that is his loss, pulls out what appears to be a powder puff and observes that surely the man wants this.

"Not at your price.", refuses the bartender. But Uhura is captivated. She asks what it is, if it's alive, and if she can hold it.

Jones answers smiling and sensing victory in his bargaining, "What is it? Why lovely lady, it's a Tribble.", and turns back to his bargaining with his 'customer'. (Jones wants 10 credits per tribble, the bartender is offering him one)

Uhura makes on over the creature showing it to Chekov. "He -- won't bite -- will he?", asks the nervous navigator.

"Sir.", announces Jones and puffing up, "Transporting harmful animals from one planet to another is against regulations or weren't you aware of that?" Jones relaxes and smiles again, "Besides, tribbles have no teeth."

Watching the exchange, the man behind the bar declares that he'll double his offer - two credits apiece.

"Twice nothing is still nothing.", observes Jones.

The communications officer tells the bartender that if he doesn't want the tribble, she'll take him. She thinks it's adorable. Seeing the impact of the little furball, the bartender quickly strikes a deal with Cierano Jones at 6 credits per tribble -- then turns to Uhura and tells her that the price is 10 credits. Jones, however, explains that the creature she's holding is his sample and he'll do as he pleases with it -- and he pleases to give it to the lovely lady.

The bartender is a little distraught at this but Cierano explains that once Uhura shows the sample around, the other man won't be able to keep up with sales.

Back on board the Enterprise Captain Kirk receives a message from Admiral Fitzpatrick at Star Fleet. Briefly the Admiral states that the grain is of paramount importance to the securing of Sherman's Planet for the Federation. Effective immediately, Captain Kirk is to render all aid and assistance to Under Secretary Barress. The safety of the grain is Kirk's responsibility.

Kirk is less than pleased with this new development and looks despondently at his First Officer who remarks that this was not an unexpected development.

The intercom signals and Uhura (now back on the ship with her tribble) warns Captain Kirk of the presence of a Klingon warship. Kirk orders her to go to red alert, notify Mr. Luri and says they (he and Spock) will be right up.

Entering the bridge, Captain Kirk asks for a status report. Chekov answers that the Klingon ship is motionless in space, one hundred meters from the space station. Uhura reports that she has a channel to Mr. Luri. Kirk orders it put on visual.

Luri images fades in at his desk as Kirk begins to warn him of the presence of the enemy nearby.

"I don't think the Klingons are planning to attack us.", states Luri.

Kirk asks, "Why not?"

The screen pans back as the station manager replies, "Because at this moment the captain of the Klingon ship is sitting right here in my office."

Kirk, looking none too happy has the red alert canceled and tells Mr. Luri that they'll beam right down.

Meeting with the Klingon commander in the station manager's office, Captain Kirk is concerned about their presence. However Captain Koloff, the Klingon commander dismisses any hostile intent and informs Kirk that they are merely here to invoke shore leave rights -- which, under the terms of the Organian Peace Treaty, they cannot be refused.

Captain Kirk smiles grimly and tells his counterpart that the issue of shore leave is not his responsibility. That is up to Mr. Luri.

Mr. Luri pulls Kirk off to the side for a moment and tells him that he (Luri) doesn't want the Klingons here but he doesn't have the authority to refuse them. Kirk allows that he does have the authority to act, and will do so.

Walking back over to Captain Koloff, Kirk smiles and tells him that he can indeed send his men down for shore leave, but only twelve at a time -- and, Kirk says, rest assured that for every Klingon in the space station there will be one security guard from the Enterprise. There will be no trouble.

Koloff looks at the other and acknowledges that since there is no formal declaration of war, their visit will be a peaceful one.

Later, back on the Enterprise, Captain Kirk wanders into one of the recreation rooms. He discovers a number of his crew personnel there, Uhura, and quite a few tribbles which everyone seems enthralled with.

Both McCoy (who is also there) and Kirk are somewhat surprised by this. They inquire as to where the tribbles came from - to which Uhura replies that she found this morning, the one she had gotten at the space station had babies.

Spock, standing nearby and stroking a tribble observes, "Most curious creature, Captain. It's trilling seems to have a tranquilizing effect on the human nervous system. Fortunately, of course, I am -- immune - to it's effect."

All eyes turn to the Vulcan. He looks around and hastily puts the tribble he was stroking on the table with the others.

McCoy asks the Communications Officer if he can have a tribble for study. She agrees, but tells him if he's going to dissect the creature, she doesn't want to know about it.

Grinning, McCoy answers, "I won't harm a hair on its head --- where ever that is."

Taking the animal the doctor departs -- and the rest of the assembled crew ask for a tribble of their own. Uhura tells them to go ahead, they appear to be old enough. The furballs quickly disappear and the crew wanders off -- each with their new pet.

Walking down the corridor with Spock, Kirk receives a communications signal from Mr. Barress. Kirk sighs and orders the channel to be piped down to where's he's at.

Seems that the Under Secretary is upset -- there are Klingons swarming all over the space station.

Kirk replies, "I was not aware, Mr. Barress, that twelve Klingons constitutes a swarm."

Barress, annoyed, tells Captain Kirk that there are Klingons on the space station and that he wants the grain scheduled for delivery to Sherman's Planet protected.

"Mr Barress", answers Kirk in a patient voice, "I have guards around the grain; I have guards around the Klingons. The only reason those guards are there is because Star Fleet wants them there. As for what you want ------ It has been noted and logged. Kirk out."

Captain Kirk switches off the intercom and tells Spock he'll be in sick bay - with a headache.

Entering McCoy's sanctum, Kirk notes that the doctor has a glass container full of tribbles. "Hey, how many of these did Uhura give you?", he asks.

"Just one.", Bones responds.

"You've got, uh - eleven.", observes Jim. "You noticed that, huh?", remarks Leonard.

Dr. McCoy admits that he doesn't yet know how the tribbles do it, but almost 50% of their metabolism is geared toward reproduction.

"Do you know what you get if you feed a tribble too much?", McCoy baits Kirk.

"A fat tribble.", counters Kirk flatly.

"No.", McCoy replies, "You get a whole bunch of hungry little tribbles."

Kirk walks towards the door saying, "Well Bones, all I can suggest ---- is you open up a maternity ward."

Down in the saloon on the space station Cierano Jones enters and tries to interest three of the Enterprise's crew in a tribble. Having no luck there, he walks over to where a group of Klingons are sitting, drinking and offers them one for sale.

The tribble, however, reacts strangely to the Klingons. Where they were always calm and trilling before, the one held near the Klingons rears up and emits a shrill series of cries. Cierano remarks that this is most odd. Tribbles like everyone. (seems they don't like Klingons though). One of the Klingons tells Jones to get "that parasite" away from him (seems Klingons don't like tribbles either).

After a moment or two, Jones moves to the bar and asks the bartender if he would care to engage in a small transaction. This time, a tribble for a drink. "A tribble? Tribble?", notes a weary bartender as he begins to take a dozen of the creatures from behind the bar and place them on the counter one at a time. (Obviously he doesn't want to trade - he's up to his - uh - knees in tribbles)

The Klingon who chased Cierano away before swaggers over to the bar and pours some of his drink into Jones glass. The tribbles react furiously to the nearness of the alien. Handing the glass back to Jones, the Klingon remarks loudly, "The Earthers like those fuzzy things, don't they." Cierano chuckles and ups his glass.

"Well frankly, I never liked Earthers.", continues the slightly drunk Klingon. "They remind me of Regulan Blood worms." Laughter sounds from around the saloon -- Chekov, sitting with Mr. Scott and another crewman begins to show signs of anger. Scott tells him to just ignore the comment. (they are under orders to make no trouble with the Klingons)

"Oh, I just remembered", taunts the Klingon, now walking over to Scott's table, "There is one Earthman who doesn't remind me of a Regulan Blood worm. That's Kirk. A Regulan Blood worm is soft - and shapeless. But Kirk isn't soft. Kirk may be a swaggering, overbearing, tin-plated dictator with delusions of god-hood, but he's not soft."

Chekov jumps to his feet, but is stopped by Scott's hand. Scotty tells him to take it easy -- everyone's entitled to an opinion.

"That's right.", continues the Klingon. "And if I think that Kirk is a Denebrian Slime-Devil, well that's my opinion too."

Chekov rises again. Scott stops him again, "Don't do it mister, and that's an order."

The Klingon crewman is watching as Chekov sputters "But you heard what they called the Captain." Scott tells him, "Forget it. It's not worth fighting for. We're big enough to take a few insults."

"Of course I'd say that Captain Kirk deserves his ship.", the Klingon baits, laughing, "We like the Enterprise; we - we really do. That sagging, old rust bucket is designed like a garbage scow. Half the quadrant knows it. That's why they're learning to speak Klingonese."

"Mister Scott!", pleads Chekov. Scott looks up without looking at the alien, "Laddie, don't ya think ya should -- rephrase that?"

"You're right. I should.", offers the Klingon, imitating Scott's accent, "I didn't mean to say that the Enterprise should be hauling garbage. I meant to say that it should be hauled away as garbage!" The Klingon turns and begins laughing at his own joke.

Rising slowly from the table, Scott faces his antagonist and plants one squarely on the other's chin. A general brawl between the three from the Federation and the three Klingons ensues -- Cierano watching with delight and helping himself to free drinks from behind the bar (the barman has gone off to get security).

"Chekov. I know you. You started it didn't you." Captain Kirk has the members of the crew who were on shore leave lined up at attention. He is attempting to discover who began the brawl on the station, but all members are remaining silent. Finally, Kirk confines them all to quarters (until he can find the instigator) and dismisses them. As the file out the door, Kirk stops Mr. Scott and pulls him aside.

"You were supposed to prevent trouble, Mr. Scott", chides Kirk gently. "Who threw the first punch, Scotty?"

Scotty hems and haws, looking rather embarrassed and finally tells his commander that he did. When asked why, Scott replies that the Klingons insulted them. "Must have been some insult.", Kirk observes.

Scott confirms and under pressuring from the Captain, tells the story. Chekov wanted to attack the Klingons, but Scott had held him back. He relates the names the Klingons used in reference to Kirk -- but they didn't fight then -- after all, they were big enough to take a few insults.

"What was it they said that started the fight?", inquires Jim.

"They called the Enterprise a garbage scow! -- Sir.", emphasizes the Scotsman.

Kirk confirms, "And that's when you hit the Klingon?" "Yes, sir.", answers Scott.

Kirk nods in understanding and dismisses the Engineer. As Scott turns to leave, Kirk mentions as an afterthought -- Scotty's to restrict himself to his quarters until further notice. Mr. Scott beams, saying that will give him time to catch up on his technical journals.

In McCoy's lab, Spock is examining the tribbles (which number many more than they did previously) as the doctor works.

"There's something disquieting about these creatures.", remarks the Vulcan. Bones asks him if he's got a 'feeling' about them

"They remind me of the lilies of the field.", returns Spock, "They toil not neither do they spin -- but they seem to eat a great deal. I see no practical use for them."

Bones argues, "Does everything have to have a practical use for you? They're nice, they're soft and they're furry and they make a pleasant sound."

"Yes, so would an ermine violin, doctor but I see no advantage in having one.", retorts Spock.

"It is a human characteristic to love little animals.", declares McCoy. "Especially if they're attractive in some way."

"Doctor, I am well aware of human characteristics, I am frequently inundated by them but I have trained myself to put up with practically anything."

"Spock, I don't know too much about these little tribbles yet but there is one thing I have discovered.", leads McCoy.

"What is that, Doctor?"

"I like them", finishes Bones, " ---- better than I like you.".

"Doctor. They do indeed have one redeeming characteristic. They don't talk too much.", mentions Spock as he excuses himself from the lab.

The scene shifts -- to Captain Kirk entering the bridge. As he walks on and heads for his seat, tribbles of every size and color are in evidence. As the good Captain seats himself -- 'squeak', a tribble has already found a place there. Looking around, he notices the abundance of animals on the bridge. In literally every corner and on every console.

Looking a little 'put-out' Kirk signals for McCoy to come to the bridge, then walking over to the helm, Kirk observes Chekov fondling one of the creatures, and after a moment, removes it from the other's hand. Collecting tribbles and moving over to the communications station (Spock is just sitting at his post looking tolerant) he asks, "Lieutenant Uhura. How did all these tribbles get on the bridge?"

"I don't know, sir.", she answers, "They do seem to be all over the ship."

McCoy walks in and is immediately confronted with an armload of fur. "Doctor McCoy."

"Well, don't look at me. It's the tribbles who are breeding.", dodges McCoy, "And if we don't get them off this ship, we're going to be hip-deep in them."

Captain Kirk asks for an explanation. McCoy continues, "Well, the nearest thing I can figure out is that they're born pregnant --which seems to be quite a time saver. And from my observations, it seems they're bi- sexual; reproducing at will. And brother, they got a lot of will."

Spock informs the Captain that he's forced to agree with McCoy. The figures are taking an alarming direction. The creatures are consuming the ship's supplies and returning nothing. Uhura, disagrees -- saying that the animals return love, according to Cierano Jones, the only love that money can buy."

Kirk's not buying this line though. He hands the tribbles to the communications officer, tells her to have the maintenance team clean up the entire ship, then contact Mr. Luri to find and hold Cierano Jones -- and, "Get these tribbles off the bridge."

In the station manager's office, Captain Kirk and Mr. Spock confront the drifting peddler. Cierano protests vigorously. He's not a criminal and has not broken the law. Why are they treating him like this.

Spock explains, "Surely you must have realized what would happen if you removed the tribbles from their predator-filled environment into an environment where their natural multiplicative proclivities would have no restraining factors."

"Well, of cour --- what did you say?", returns Jones good-naturedly.

Spock gives pause then tries again, "By removing the tribbles from their natural habitat, you have, so to speak, removed the cork from the bottle and allowed the genie to escape."

Cierano agrees that if he means the creatures multiply, of course. That's how he maintains his stock. Further, breeding animals is not against regulations, only breeding harmful ones -- and tribbles are not harmful. At 6 credits a body, Cierano is already counting his profits. He begs the company pardon him, but he has business to tend to -- and bids them "Au voir."

As Jones leaves, Under Secretary Barress enters with his assistant, steaming under the collar.

He considers that Captain Kirk's security measures are a disgrace and that the Captain has taken the entire project far too lightly.

"On the contrary, sir.", offers Kirk with a smile, "I, uh, think of this project as very important. It is you I take lightly."

Barress, not mollified by this comment, threatens that he will make a full report to the counsel, citing that Captain Kirk gave free access to the space station of a man who is very likely a Klingon agent. Kirk responds that this is a serious charge and asks whom he refers to.

Barress indicates Jones, the man who just left. Kirk chuckles at this and asks what evidence the other has. The official claims that his assistant has had Jones under close surveillance for some time and that the peddler's activities are quite suspicious. Neals cites that Cierano was involved in the altercation between Kirk's crew and the men from the Klingon ship.

Kirk nods impatiently and asks what else does he have in the way of proof. Barress's assistant (Darvan) offers that he's examined the man's ship log and noted that Cierano Jones had been in the Klingon sector less than 4 months ago. Kirk looks to Spock, nodding.

"We have already checked on the background of Mr. Cierano Jones.", reports Spock. "He is a licensed asteroid locator and prospector. He's never broken the law, at least not severely. And for the past seven years, with his one-man spaceship, he has obtained a marginal living by engaging in the buying and selling of rare merchandise -- including, unfortunately, tribbles."

"But he is after my grain!, Barress all but shouts.

Darvan adds, "You can't deny he's disrupted this station."

"People have disrupted stations before without being Klingon agents.", Kirk responds, "Sometimes all they need is a title, Mr. Barress. Unfortunately; disrupting a space station is not an offense. Now if you'll excuse me, I have a ship to tend to. Au voir." Kirk dismisses himself and walks quickly out followed by his First Officer.

On the Enterprise, Kirk (and Spock) walk into one of the mess halls (this particular one is full of tribbles), and over to the food synthesizer. Punching the appropriate buttons, the computer beeps and delivers the Captain his meal -- covered with the furry little creatures.

Looking down at his tray and frowning, Jim remarks, "My chicken sandwich and coffee." Looking over to his Vulcan friend, "This is my chicken sandwich and coffee!", he repeats to Spock (who is also standing nearby with a tray full of tribbles). "I want these things off the ship. I don't care if it takes every man we've got, I want them off the ship."

Enter Scotty with an armful of the animals he's been collecting. The Engineer informs Kirk that the tribbles are in the machinery and probably in all the other food processors as well. When Captain Kirk asks how, Scott estimates that they most likely got in through the air vents.

The First Officer looks over quickly and states that there are vents of this sort in the space station -- and in the grain storage compartments.

Racing for the communication console, Kirk signals the station, telling Mr. Luri and Neals Barress to meet them near the storage compartments, they are beaming down.

Materializing, Kirk and Spock are met by anxious officials who want to know what's wrong. Kirk tells them plenty is wrong if what he thinks happened -- has happened.

Walking swiftly to the storage area, Kirk orders one of the guards standing to open the grain bins. The guard tries, but the door appears to be stuck. Taking the key device from the man, Captain Kirk tries, also to meet with failure. Moving over to one of the overhead doors, Kirk tries the key there. The door opens and the Captain is met with an avalanche of tribbles.

"They seem to be gorged.", observes Spock.

"Gorged?", demands Barress, "On my grain?! Kirk! I'm going to hold you responsible!" Looking down Neals comments in a lower voice, "There must be thousands of them."

"Hundreds of thousands.", answers Kirk in a tired voice.

"One million, seven hundred seventy one thousand, five hundred sixty one.", answers Spock. "That's assuming one tribble, multiplying with an average litter of ten producing a new generation every twelve hours over a period of three days .... and allowing for the amount of grain consumed and the volume of the storage compartment."

Mr. Barress is having a fit. He begins to rant about the Captain's part in all of this because he (Kirk) ignored and intimated the Under Secretary. Barress is adamant about having Captain Kirk held responsible.

About that time Doctor McCoy rushes in holding two tribbles and beaming. "Jim, I think I've got it. All we have to do is quit feeding them. We quit feeding them, they stop breeding."

Looking exasperated, Kirk mutters, "Now he tells me."

Looking at the tribble he's holding, Spock calls for Kirk's attention. The tribble is dead. Looking around, he adds, "And so are these."

Pulling out his medical scanner, McCoy reports that a lot of them are dead. A lot are alive, but won't be for long. The Vulcan observes that the logical conclusion is that there is something in the grain. Jim orders Doctor McCoy to check the tribbles, check the grain -- find out what killed the animals.

Bones leaves, but Barress continues to pour it on thick. He's determined to have an inquiry made. Star Fleet is going to hear about this -- the Sherman's Planet project is ruined, and he holds Captain Kirk to blame -- and he intends to enjoy every moment of the defrocking of Kirk.

The Captain tells Barress that's fine, but in the meantime he's still a Captain -- and as such he wants two things done. First, find Cierano Jones; and second "Close that door." -- referring to the bin door from where tribbles continue to occasionally fall on his head.

The scene shifts to the station manager's office where two security men have brought in a protesting Cierano Jones with an armful of tribbles. Kirk wants to ask him a few questions. However, before he can begin an outraged Captain Koloff (Klingon commander, remember?) barges in demanding an official apology for the treatment of his men -- who he says Captain Kirk as hounded and treated as criminals.

Stepping forward, an alarmed Barress tells Jim no, he can't do that. It'll give the Klingons the leverage they need to take over Sherman's Planet (the story never told us what was so important about this Planet anyway -- can it be worth all of this?). Kirk isn't rushing into anything though. He wants to know just what happened. Who put the tribbles in the quadrotritacale? What was in the grain that killed them.

Koloff breaks in and asks Kirk, "Captain Kirk, before you go on may I make a request? Can you get those things out of here?"

Jim nods and the two Enterprise security men take the four tribbles from Cierano Jones and head for the door. As they approach, the door opens and Darvan walks in. The tribbles rear up and begin squealing.

"Hold on a minute.", calls Captain Kirk. Then to Jones, "I thought you said tribbles liked everybody."

Cierano allows that they do. The only other time he saw them act like that was in the bar at the station. Kirk asks who was there. "Klingons", Jones answers.

Walking over to the doorway, Kirk takes two of the animals and moves back to the group. As he nears the Klingon commander and his officer the tribbles again begin to make an agitated noise. "You're right, Mr. Jones. They don't like Klingons." Kirk moves over by Mr. Spock, "But they do like Vulcans. Well, Mr. Spock, I didn't know you had it in you."

Captain Kirk walks over by the Under Secretary and holds the tribbles near him. "Mr. Barress, they like you! Well, there's no accounting for taste.", Kirk says wryly and walks back over by Darvan. Putting the tribbles close to the man, they again react. "They don't like you, Mr. Darvan! I wonder why? Bones."

Doctor McCoy scans the man and pronounces, "Heartbeat is all wrong. His body temperature is .... Jim, this man is a Klingon!"

Is Neals Barress surprised? (Does a bear take a dump in the woods?) "A Klingon?!"

"Yes.", agrees Kirk, "I wonder what Star Fleet Command will say about that? What about the grain, Bones?"

McCoy explains that the grain was poisoned with a virus. When consumed, the virus would turn into an inert material in the bloodstream. After two or three days, enough inert material would build up so that the organism couldn't take in enough nourishment to survive.

Going back over to where Darvan is standing Kirk thrusts the tribbles in the man's face and quickly extracts a confession from the Under Secretary's assistant. He poisoned the grain and the tribbles had nothing to do with it. Barress re-focuses his displeasure -- now at his former assistant and excuses himself from the group as the security men lead the Klingon agent away.

"Captain Koloff. About that apology...", Kirk begins in a friendly voice walking back to the two Klingons. "You have six hours to get your ship out of Federation territory."

The two tribbles are squealing and their nearness is making the Klingons nervous. Koloff merely nods and quickly departs.

"There, you know,", muses Kirk aloud, "I think I could learn to like tribbles."

Cierano Jones stands and bluffs, "Well Captain, I suppose I'm free to go now." "No you're not!", responds Kirk, "There's something I want to show you."

Captain Kirk and Spock walk Mr. Jones to the bar -- where the room (and the bartender - sitting despondently) is literally covered with tribbles. Kirk has a deal for the peddler. Kirk won't press charges against the man and he'll see about getting the peddler's ship released to him if Jones picks up every tribble on the space station.

Jones protests, "That would take years!"

"Seventeen point nine to be exact.", quotes Spock.

Well, it's either that or twenty years in a rehabilitation penal colony. Kirk tells Jones to consider it job security, so the man reluctantly agrees.

Epilog: Back on board the Enterprise and back on the bridge, Captain Kirk begins to seat himself in his chair, then hesitates and looks first remembering the tribble there before. "I don't see any tribbles around here.", Kirk observes.

"And you won't find a tribble on this entire ship, Jim.", offers McCoy.

"Bones. How'd you do that?", asks Kirk gleefully. "Well", answers McCoy, "I cannot take credit for another man's work. Scotty did it."

"Scotty!", smiles Jim, "Where are the tribbles?" Scott looks uncomfortable and redirects, "Oh, ah, Captain. It was really Mr. Spock's recommendation."

"Of course.", coos Kirk and looks over to the Vulcan. "Spock?"

Spock begins, "Based on computer analysis, of course, taking into account the possibilities of ...."

"Gentlemen.", interrupts Kirk, growing impatient, "I don't want to interrupt this - mutual admiration society but I'd like to know where the tribbles are." "Tell him Spock.", prods Dr. McCoy.

"Well - it was - Mr. Scott who performed the actual engineering.", answers Spock.

Kirk looks around to Scotty, "Mister Scott! Where - are - the - tribbles?", he demands.

"I used the transporter, Captain.", the Engineer replies.

"You used the transporter?", Kirk inquires, "Well where did you transport them?"

Scott doesn't answer and the others quickly look away as Kirk glances at each. Showing sudden concern he asks, "Scott! You didn't transport them into space, did you!"

"Captain Kirk! That would be inhuman!", objects the Engineer.

"Well, where are they?", presses Jim.

Scott fidgets, "I gave them a very good home, sir."

"WHERE!", roars Kirk.

"I gave them to the Klingons, sir.", admits Scott quickly.

"Gave them to the Klingons?", whispers Kirk in disbelief.

"Aye sir. Before they went into warp I transported the whole kit and caboodle into their engine room -- where they'll be no tribble at all."