Theory Queen's Fan Fiction Hospital

"When it's just too sick to get better on its own..."
 

Advice for Fan Fiction Authors



Fan fiction is a creative and harmless way for people to interact with their favorite fictional characters and universes on a number of different levels. The problem? Many writers, although skilled (or at least potentially skilled), make grammatical and mechanical errors in their writing that accidently change the whole meaning of the story. It's a shame to be reading a good story and be interrupted by a mistake in the grammar. It's very hard to get back into the flow of the story, and it inhibits the enjoyment of the reader.

This page will contain some of the most common (and some of the most cringe-worthy) errors I've seen, along with corrections. This is not meant to criticize people's writing, but merely to point out some common errors. There are some fabulous writers out there who make some silly mistake that changes the whole tone of their stories. I hope to help prevent that, and to have a little fun with the errors themselves.  Don't feel bad or take it personally if you see an error from your story up here.  None of these are meant as personal attacks, and -- fear not! -- some of my own errors are up here as well.  We must all have a sense of humor about our writing as we send our stories off to make their way in the world like children: some of them will succeed wildly, some will never be above average,  and some will fail.  Unlike children, however, you can never produce too many!

Some of the errors are from fandoms other than Buffy, but are an example of an error that many writers make.  Many thanks to Grammatica who helped me compile this list.  Other examples are welcomed.  If you see something that should go up here, email it to me at Theoryqueen@fcmail.com, along with the URL of the site where you found it.  Thank you.
 
 

Comma Errors

Way, way too many commas here!  First, this sentence should be divided into two or three, and as such might need one comma if any.  Possible correction:  "Of course I knew that.  It dawned on me when I looked at him, so I told him to hush.  It's no big deal."  --Corrected, it's still wordy and redundant, but at least the unnecessary commas are gone.
  Ugh.  The proper phrase is "Suit yourself," meaning that your own actions will see you suited in whatever situation.  The comma shouldn't be there, and "your" should be spelled out.
 
 

Wrong words
This category is a biggie.  Part of the problem is that, although the words may be spelled correctly and therefore would not be picked up by the grammar checker in the writer's word processing program, they're just the wrong words.   They look or sound a little like the right words and many writers don't realize they're not, but they mean different things.  For example (with italics mine):

This writer doubtless meant "impart," which means to deliver knowledge, or teach.  "Depart" means to leave, which as you can see, changed the sense of this sentence a great deal.
 
  This is a common enough expression that most readers would easily recognize what the writer meant: "One and the same".  It's a little thing, but it changes the meaning and distracts the reader.
 
  The writer here bemoans the lack of adequate mirrors, not downwardly mobile ones.  "Decent" mirrors usually hang on the walls and reflect things.  "Descent" mirrors would reflect something or someone's downward passage!  Someone should get one for Joss so he could see what he did to third season.
 
  Many, many writers are guilty of this one.  "Viscous" means slimy.  "Vicious" is the word these writers seek to describe cruel, animalistic vampires such as Angelus.  But then, "viscous" might also describe him when he's wearing all that hair gel.
 
  Many writers mix these up too.   "Horde" is a large group of people.  "Hoard" means to save up, usually in a miserly fashion.  "Whored" is the past tense of the word meaning to get paid for sex.   Example:  She hoards the money she received from the horde of football players when she whored for them.
 
  This writer should have said "dregs" of society, which is a common expression likening lower members of society to the sediment that falls to the bottom of a coffee cup or wine vat.  His/her choice was evocative, if incorrect.  In one sense, it might be taken to mean people worthy of extreme fear, but in a much more common sense it means a Rastafarian hairstyle, dreadlocks, or "dreads" for short.  If you pictured all the dregs of society wearing dreadlocks, you weren't alone!
 
  A "jukebox" plays music when you insert money.  "Jute" is a kind of string.
 
  This writer either meant "preys" or has a serious problem with religion.  To hunt for food, or to eat what you've killed, is to "prey" on it.  "Prey" is also the name of the kill itself; however, "Pray" is how you talk to your deity/ies.
 
 


This writer probably meant to use the common expression for recurring consecutive events, "in a row," or "on a roll."  As it is, however, the word choice conjures up images of biscuits making him late.
 
 

"Pale" is the desired word here, as bucket-shaped legs would probably not be shown off like that.
 
  In this case, the character would most likely be "poring" over the books, i.e. studying intently.  "Pouring" over them would get your card pulled in most places, as it means to dispense liquid from a container.
 
 
  "Peek" means to sneak a glance.  "Peak" is either to reach a summit, or the summit itself (this one is used frequently by smut writers to mean orgasm)  "Pique" as a noun means a petulent mood, and as a verb it means to catch one's attention.  Example:  "The mountain peak piqued his interest.  As his interest peaked, he peeked over the peak and then stomped down the other side in a fit of pique."  (Did you get all that?)
An INCORRECT example from fanfic in the context of Buffy having sex:  "Buffy screamed as she peeked..."  See what I mean?  Sounds as if she saw a truly frightening sight, when she was actually enjoying herself.
 
  "Rains" is what the weather does when water comes down from the sky.  "Reins" are what you use to control a horse.  "Reigns" is to rule over.  Example:  "The groom reigns in the stable, but if he goes out riding and it rains, even he pulls back on the reins and goes home."
 
  Here the writer spoke of Angel's arriving soon, and should have chosen "imminent" instead, which means will happen soon.  Instead, the writer made it sound as if Angel's arrival was very important.  Example: "The woman speaking next is an eminent member of society.  Her imminent speech will cover a variety of topics.  It's just a few moments away..."
 
  I suspect this error is a geographical one, as not all areas of the country pronounce "idea" with three syllables; however, he should have flashed his I.D. if he wanted to prove his age rather than his creativity.  Don't you picture this guy with a light bulb over his head?  I do.
 
  Will anyone join me in saying OUCH!?  "Ravish" is the word that non-masochists would use here, as it means to seduce, to coerce into sex, with a modern undertone of consent.  "Ravage," on the other hand, means to lay waste,  to annihilate, ruin, and destroy.
 
  Unless the lady's neck is frightened, it probably has a healed wound.  "Scared" means frightened, whereas "scarred" means having a scar.
 
  "Grown" is the past perfect tense of "to grow."  A "groan" is the sound of sexual excitement.  Unless our Ben is supressing his own growth as a person, he's probably trying to keep his state of arousal a secret.
 
  "Mousse" is the word for a light hair gel.  If this writer really did mean the subject is drowning her newly darkened hair in rodents or computer hardware, however, the word should have been "mice."
 
  A couple of things here:  first, human beings don't "lay" on beds, unless they're laying an object down on the bed, or getting laid on the bed.  What she was really doing here is "lying" on the bed.    Second, unless she has recently cut them off, she's probably enjoying the "feeling" of his hands rather than the "felling," which is what lumberjacks do to trees when they cut them down.
 
 
  Don't know who this character was, but he was probably complaining about Buffy and Angel, rather than holding them tightly.  As far as griping about them -- haven't we all done that from time to time?
 
  A tragedy is a terrible event.  A travesty is a satire, a spoof, a parody of something else.  INCORRECT example: someone sent out an email asking for "Giles sites, because I just have one! It's a travesty!"  A tragedy it might have been, but unless the site she had was a spoof of another one, it was not a travesty.
 
  An "hour" is a unit of time 60 minutes long.  "Our" is a possessive pronoun, i.e. "That's our boy!"   "Are" is a present tense of the verb "to be."  Example:  "Dear Joss, Are you going to make Spike a regular?  He's our favorite character.  He really livens up the Buffy hour."
 
  "Vile" is disgusting.  "Vial" is a small jar of liquid.  "Viol," is a large stringed instrument.  "Buffy had to drink a large vial of beer after hearing Angel's vile performance on the viol."
 

Misplaced Apostrophes
This is a common one, too.  Some writers evidently think of an apostrophe as a mark of punctuation inserted into the text to warn readers  of an approaching  S.

That was an incorrect example, by the way.  Here is another one, taken directly from a fanfic story:


Singular verbs do not get apostrophes.  "Willow... pops her head out."
Possessive pronouns do not get apostrophes.  "This is its lair," or "This room is hers."
Plural nouns do not get apostrophes.  "There are two vampires."

Possessive nouns, however, do get apostrophes.  "This is Xander's car.
Plural possessive nouns get one after the S, like this.  "This is his parents' basement.
Contractions also get one, to take the place of the missing letter.  "Do not" becomes "Don't," and "Should not" becomes "shouldn't, and "she is" becomes "she's."  Example:  "They don't notice she's there."
 
 

Miscellaneous Errors for your Reading (dis)Pleasure

For people whose breakfast experience is truly a sensory one:


For people who have studied tribal medicine, but not spelling:


This one has to be the best of all.  I think it's an error, but uncorrected it makes the best pun I've ever seen in fanfic: