Copyright 1999 -- Robert Baer Jr. The Space Rovers -- "Enter Cobber" DISCLAIMER Road Rovers characters, names, situations and the Road Rovers universe are the property of Warner Bros. I, nor this script/story are connected with Warner Bros. in any way, shape or form. This document may not be publicized or reproduced in any way, shape or form. It must remain fully intact and may not be altered in anyway. It is strictly used for not-for-profit entertainment purposes only, and is not intended to infringe on any Copyrights. This story is written by Robert Baer Jr and the characters Fydo, Boomer, Rasputin, Saundra, Alexander, Grunt, Daisy, Abdullah, Bob, Cactus Jake, Marie, Francis, Calypso, Sheena, Bruno, Molly, Deborah, Lady, Orchid, Dot, Luigi, Sophia, , Sno-wie, Lao Zi, Su Li, Claudia, Numbia, Derby and Poncho are all Robert Baer Jr's creations, copyright pending, 1999, Cobber is a creation of Mike Browner. The Space Rovers -- "Enter Cobber" The scene is Road Rover Headquarters on Earth. The Master has just sent for Cobber, he arrives in a matter of minutes with a very puzzled look on his face. COBBER (worried): Master, you've sent for me. What's the emergency? MASTER (shakes head): No emergency, Cobber. But I feel I must speak with you about .... COBBER (sadly): I know what you're going to say, mate. My last few missions haven't been all that glorious, 'ave they? MASTER (sternly): To put it mildly, no. On your last mission, the Cano-Mutants that you were guarding escaped. On the mission before... COBBER (sadly): I know, I know. Captain Storm almost got away because I wasn't watching the back exit. MASTER (puts hand on Cobber's shoulder): Cobber, you're one of my finest Road Rovers. We've been through a lot together, but I feel that perhaps you could use a change in your life. COBBER (shocked): A change? Does that mean you're sending me back to the streets? MASTER (shakes head): Of course not! It means that as of this moment, I'm temporarily reassigning you to the Space Rovers. COBBER (smiles widely): Space Rovers? MASTER (smiles): Yes! I've already spoken with Persia, you'll have the field rank of Lt Commander. COBBER (dreamily): Sheena...... MASTER (laughs): I see you're going to like your new assignment! The Canius Minor will be leaving Earth Orbit in an hour. I'll have them use their matter transporter to get you to the ship. COBBER (confused): Matter transporter? MASTER (smiles): Yes, it's a new technology the Space Rovers acquired from the Mataxians. COBBER (confused): Is it safe? MASTER (smiles): See for yourself! At that moment, the matter transporter was activated. Cobber looked rather frightened as he saw himself beginning to 'glow.' In an instant, he appeared in Flash and Daisy's laboratory in the matter transfer chamber. COBBER (startled): What in the world just happened ... FLASH (smiles): Y'all's on the Canius Minor now! DAISY (smiles): Ain't this new transporter stuff great? COBBER (still shaken): Yes..... I suppose it is, ladies... At that moment, Sheena comes running into the lab. SHEENA (arms swung open wide): COBBER!!!!! She hugs Cobber so hard that he nearly passes out. COBBER (struggling to breathe): Good...to.....see......you.......too.... SHEENA (excited): Come along with me, Cobbie! All new crew members must have a complete physical, so you 'ave to come with me to sick bay now! COBBER (confused): But shouldn't I report to the Captain first? SHEENA (grabs one arm): Nonsense! I'm the ship's doctor and I say you're a medical priority, mate! COBBER (waves with free hand): G'day, ladies! FLASH (waves): So long, Cobber, see you later! DAISY (waves): Bye Cobber! (turns and talks to herself): I wish Rasputin loved me like Sheena does Cobber! Minutes later Cobber and Sheena enter sick bay. Abdullah is waiting, holding a clipboard while Deborah was busy preparing a room for Cobber's physical. ABDULLAH (checking his clipboard): Cobber! You're a bit early, but that's alright. Have a seat, Deborah and I will begin your physical shortly. SHEENA (angry): You and Deborah! What about me? ABDULLAH (shakes head): Sheena, everyone on this ship knows that you're in love with Cobber. It would not be appropriate for you to assist... SHEENA (growling): AND WHY NOT? ABDULLAH (sternly): Dr Sheena, I am the Chief Medical Officer of this ship, and I'll say who examines whom around here! You can not be objective in your present state of mind, so Deborah will assist me.... SHEENA (slight smile): SHE CAN'T! DEBORAH (surprised): I can't? ABDULLAH (skeptical): And why can't she assist me? SHEENA (stuttering): She's...busy! Yeah, busy sorting with all of those blood samples, right, Deborah? DEBORAH (sees Sheena winking at her): Oh yeah, that's right! I'd better get to work now. Please excuse me, Doctors. Deborah walks down the hallway into the microlab as Sheena turns to Abdullah and grins widely. SHEENA (points): Guess that means I'll have to assist you, Abdullah! ABDULLAH (shakes head in frustration): Ok, ok, you may assist me, but at the first signs of drooling I'm calling Deborah back in here! (motions to Cobber) Come along, now, we must get started now! COBBER (trying not to laugh): Yes, sir! SHEENA (wide grin): Absolutely! Abdullah and Sheena follow Cobber into the examination room. Sheena's mind starts to drift as the physical progresses, she starts daydreaming of what it would be like to be married to Cobber. How they'd share meals together, how they'd take long walks on the beautiful forest paths of Graum, how'd they'd just sit at the lake and stare into each other's eyes....... then she hears a call in the distance.... Sheena! Sheena! ABDULLAH (waves hand in front of her face): SHEENA!!! Are you listening to me? SHEENA (shakes head): Huh? Oh........ Oh my! Sorry 'bout that, sir! ABDULLAH (angry): I asked you to set up the treadmill for the endurance part of the physical! If you can't keep your mind on your work then I'll call Deborah back in here! SHEENA (shakes head): Oh no, no, please don't do that! I'll get the treadmill right now! Sheena rushs so fast she trips on her own shoelaces and falls down. Cobber tries to hold his laughter in, but when she briefly leaves the room, he bursts out laughing. COBBER (looks at Abdullah): Take it easy on her, gov. She and I have been separated for a long time, and.. ABDULLAH (nods): I know, absense does indeed make the heart grow fonder. I was young once myself, y'know! However, Sheena has duties to perform aboard this space vessel, and I don't want your presence here to interfere with that! Do I make myself clear, Lt Commander? COBBER (nods): Clear as crystal, doctor! Sheena rushs back into the room, pulling the treadmill behind her. After securing it to the floor, Cobber's physical continues. Now, it is Cobber who begins to daydream. He sees himself dressed in a suit of armor, standing before his 'fair maiden' Sheena (dressed in a large, medevil gown). He gives her one, long passionate kiss as he mounts his horse, holds the Sword of Canis over his head in triumph, and rides away into the sunset. As he rides, he hears a voice, growing louder and louder... ABDULLAH (shouts): COBBER!!! You may dismount the treadmill now! COBBER (still in a daze): Yes, my squire! ABDULLAH (confused): Squire? COBBER (shakes head): Oh..... sorry, Doctor. Looks like me mind wondered off a bit .... ABDULLAH (sternly): There's a lot of that going around today! Well, the examination is complete! You are the picture of perfect health, Cobber! Now, report to the Captain in her office. That's on deck one, section.. SHEENA (takes Cobber by the arm): Nevermind, I'll show him the way! ABDULLAH (snickers): I thought you'd volunteer for that duty! Very well, Sheena, be back here in fifteen minutes to complete our crew health reports. SHEENA (wide smile): Thank you, Sir! As Cobber and Sheena leave, Deborah returns. DEBORAH (smiles): They do make a great couple, don't they, sir? ABDULLAH (nods): But I'm concerned. Will Cobber be too much of a distraction for Sheena? DEBORAH (puts hand on Abdullah's shoulder): Doctor, you know that Sheena is a dedicated professional. She would never jeopardize her duties for her own interests, look at how she stayed and treated Daisy and Orchid on Graum, and the time .... ABDULLAH (turns around): You're right, Deborah. Well, let's you and me get started on these crew reports.. The scene shifts to Persia's office, Cobber enters followed by Sheena. PERSIA (looks up from her desk): Good, you're here Cobber, have a seat. SHEENA (salutes): Captain, the medical staff has given Cobber a complete physical and I'm proud to say he passed with flying colors! PERSIA (nods): Very good, Doctor, you are dismissed SHEENA (happy): And I must add that Cobber certainly does make an excellent additon to our crew! PERSIA (nods): He's here on temporary assignment,.you are dismissed, Sheena. SHEENA (excited): Even so, I'm sure that you'll agree with me when I say .... PERSIA (stands up, angry): Doctor Sheena, return to sick bay NOW, that's an order! SHEENA (deflated): Yes, Captain.... Sheena sadly leaves the room, Cobber is amused, but holds back his laughter. PERSIA (shakes hands with Cobber): So, Lt Commander Cobber, welcome aboard the Canius Minor! COBBER (smiles): Thank you, ma'am! PERSIA (looks at monitor): You're here for a temporary tour of duty with us. I've examined your personnel file from Road Rover Headquarters. I must say that I'm very impressed! COBBER (nods): Thank you, ma'am PERSIA (looks at monitor): I've assigned you to our Security Detail, you'll be working under Commander Grunt, will that be a problem? COBBER (confused): A problem, ma'am? PERSIA (sadly): Many in the Road Rover Elite feel that the Space Rovers are just a group of second class misfits who couldn't 'cut it' on Earth, and ... COBBER (angry): Tell me what bloak's sayin' that sort of rubbish! You and your Space Rovers are the finest team of Rovers we 'ave! PERSIA (surprised): Lt Commander, I must admit your reaction surprises me! I thought that most of the work we do out here in space goes unnoticed by the Elite. COBBER (stands up): Captain, I'm proud to be serving with the Space Rovers! PERSIA (smiles): I like your attitude, Cobber! Of course, I know that having your girlfriend on board helps! That was some fantasy sequence you had a few minutes ago, you dressed as a knight and .... COBBER (surprised): How did you .... oh yeah, you read me mind! PERSIA (smiles): All I ask from you is that when you're on duty, keep your mind on your duties, not on our ship's doctor, OK? COBBER (chuckles): Alright, Captain, I'll remember! PERSIA (stands up): Good! Report to Commander Grunt in cargo bay four, that's where the Security Department meets to receive their daily assignments. I'm headed for the bridge, good luck! COBBER (salutes): Aye, Aye, Captain! Cobber quickly rushes down to cargo bay four, he sees Grunt standing in front of a large group of Space Rovers, including Rasputin, Orchid, Su Li, Poncho, Numbia and Claudia. Grunt turns and sees Cobber in the distance GRUNT (sternly): GRRRRRR GROWL!!! COBBER (apologetic): I beg your pardon, Commander, the Captain sent me down here and .... GRUNT (turns, points): GRRRRRRRRRRRR GROWL!! GRRRRRRRRRRRRRR COBBER (nods): Yes sir, I'll take my place in line! Cobber runs over and stands beside of Claudia. COBBER (whipsers to Claudia): Is he always this strict? CLAUDIA (whispers back): Usually, he is a pit bull, y'know COBBER (whispers back): Oh yeah, that's right... GRUNT (angry): GRRRRRRRRRRRRR GROWL!!!!! GRRRRRRRRRRRR COBBER (startled): Sorry, sir, it won't happan again! GRUNT (smiles): GRRRRRRRRRRR COBBER (talks to himself): "It better not" he says, this bloak's worse than a bloody drill sargent! Grunt finishes his 'speech' and dismisses his personnel. Cobber is assigned to 'hall patrol' with Orchid. ORCHID (listless): Hall patrol is usually very boring, Cobber, but at least you'll be learning about the layout of the ship... COBBER (stops Orchid with his hand): Cadet, I may not be the brightest bloak on this ship, but I sense that you seem to have a problem with me.. ORCHID (shakes head): Oh no, no, Cobber, you're a very nice man. It's just that ... COBBER (smiles): That....what, Cadet? ORCHID (frowns): I wish I was on patrol with Rasputin. No offense, sir. COBBER (nods): I think I get it now, you have a crush on him, don't you? ORCHID (sadly): Does it show? COBBER (smiles): Hey, I was there on Graum when you and Daisy were having that karate fight over him, remember? ORCHID (nods): That's right, but nothing's been resolved. He still hasn't made up his mind. (sighs) I wish he and I could be like you and Sheena.... COBBER (grins): Well, I'm sure things will work out for you and Rassy. Just give him some time ... ORCHID (almost crying): That's what everyone says, give him some time, but I want to be with him NOW!! COBBER (hands Orchid his handerchef): There, there, little darlin', maybe we'd better take a break... ORCHID (wipes tears from her eyes): No, no, I'm alright. I'm so sorry, Cobber, I didn't mean to lay all this on you... COBBER (smiles): It's quite alright, dear. No worries! We'd better finish our patrol before lunchtime! Orchid nods and the two continue their hallway patrol. They soon pass by the school room. Cobber pauses a moment, this was the first time he'd seen Road Rover children like this close up. CALYPSO (rings school bell): Ok, class, twenty minutes recess period! I be right back, but no monkey business! Calypso keep her eye on you all! Calypso walks into the hallway and greets Cobber. CALYPSO (shakes Cobber's hand): Hi, mon! Me name is Calypso, and you be that Cobber fellow the entire crew talking about, yes? COBBER (smiles): Yes, that's me alright, miss! CALYPSO (glances back at the classroom): I bet you never see so many children before, right mon? COBBER (nods): You certainly do have your hands full, ma'am! CALYPSO (smiles): I'm going to be getting some coffee, care to join me? COBBER (shakes head): I'd like to, ma'am, but I'm on duty and ... ORCHID (yelling down the hallway): COBBER!!! COBBER (shocked): Whoops, I gotta run, see you later! Cobber runs to catch up to Orchid. The scene shifts to the galley at noon time. Cobber, Orchid, Numbia, Poncho and Claudia are having lunch together at the same table. Fydo walks in and joins them. NUMBIA (bites her sandwich): So tell us, Cobber, what's it like being a member of the Road Rover Elite? PONCHO (excited): Senor, c'mon, tell us! COBBER (sips his coffee): There's really not much to tell, I must admit that you bloaks have a more exciting life than I do! (points): Take Fydo over there, he's really considered quite a hero on Jurrassia and Graum! CLAUDIA (interrupts): And on Earth, too! He singlehandly destroyed the Lost Pack's space ship! FYDO (shocked): Well.....I..... NUMBIA (smiles): That's right! Me and Poncho were there, we saw him do it! PONCHO (smiles): Si, he's a genuine hero! As Poncho is speaking, Whitey and Sno-wie join them at their table. COBBER (smiles): Forgive me, Sno-wie, but I've never met someone from another universe before!. SNO-WIE (nods): I know, Cobber, but it's something you'll have to get used to! Like I'll have to get used to seeing you without Colleen by your side, and ... NUMBIA (shocked): Huh? ORCHID (nearly chokes): What? PONCHO (stunned): Holy Toledo! Sheena is standing in line for lunch, but then hears Sno-wie's comment about Cobber and Colleen. She's so furious that she drops her tray and runs out of the galley. Cobber sees her out of the corner of his eye and runs after her. He finally follows her to her quarters, but she closes the door before he can enter. COBBER (knocking on the metal door): Sheena? Sheena! Please let me in. SHEENA (through the speaker above her door): No, go away! COBBER (shouts up to speaker): Sheena, I'm not the Cobber of the parallel universe. I don't love Colleen, I love you! You and only you, Sheena! SHEENA (through speaker, sobbing): Really? COBBER (shouts up to speaker): Yes! I don't want Colleen, Hunter is already seeing her, you know that! I only have eyes for you, my darling! Sheena opens her door and jumps out at Cobber, hugging him firmly and kissing him many times. SHEENA (still crying): Oh Cobbie! I love you so much! COBBER (nods): And you have quite a grip, don't you? SHEENA (releases hug): Oops, sorry 'bout that, mate! COBBER (smiles): It's alright, love. Let's go finish lunch, and later on after we both finish our shifts, we'll go to the lounge together, how about it? SHEENA (happy): Oh Cobber! It's like a dream come true! The scene shifts to the lounge area, five hours later. Many Space Rovers are dancing, playing pool and having a good time. Cobber and Sheena enter, Sheena wearing a stunning white evening gown and Cobber wearing a tux he borrowed from Cactus Jake. CALYPSO (comes running up to them): Oh!!! Now Calypso be needin' some shade cause you two be looking so HOT tonight! SHEENA (smiles): Thank you! CALYPSO (happy): Since this be a special night for you two, Calypso have special table reserved just for Sheena and Cobber! (shouts out): DOT!! They're here! I have to go now, Dot will be taking good care of you! Calypso rushs across the room as Dot walks over and escorts them to their table. DOT (smiles): We heard that this is your first day with us, Cobber, so Calypso and I fixed something special for you two to eat! Here's two bowls of water, I'll be right back with your dinner! COBBER (watches Dot leave): WOW!! She seems to be a bit perky tonight! SHEENA (nods): Yes, special dinner? I wonder what she's talking about? Within minutes, Dot returns holding several plates in her hands. She gives them each a big salad and a very familiar looking main course. SHEENA (excited): Brewnoc!!!! Just the way I like it, thank you, Dot! DOT (smiles): You're welcome, enjoy your meal! Cobber wants to ask the question, but when he sees Sheena eating spoonful after spoonful of it, decides to try it himself. He finds it very tasty, and the two finish dinner very quickly. COBBER (wipes mouth with napkin): That was one fabulous meal! By the way, what is Brewnoc? SHEENA (puts fork down): It's a dish I first learned to like on Jurrassia! COBBER (laughs): It's not dinosaur meat, is it? SHEENA (chuckles): Of course not! It's baked eagle! COBBER (shocked): Eagle? You mean I ate an eagle? SHEENA (smiles): Quite tasty, wasn't it? COBBER (stunned, mumbles to himself): baked eagle ...... At that moment, Persia and Grunt walk over to their table. PERSIA (smiles): So, Lt Commander, how was your first day with us? COBBER (smiles): It's been very interesting indeed! PERSIA (points to his plate): I see you had the Brewnoc! Many of our crew have acquired a taste for it! COBBER (half smile): You don't say .... GRUNT (smiles): GRRRRRRRRRRRR GROWL GRRRRRRRRRRRRRR SHEENA (laughs): That's a funny one, Grunt! COBBER (thinks to himself): "It's one good way of getting the bird" he says, I hope I don't hurl on Jake's tux! PERSIA (smiles): Why don't you join us on the dance floor, you two? GRUNT (turns to Persia): GRRRRRRRRRRR GROWL? PERSIA (smiles): Ok, I'll lead this time, but I am determined to teach you these modern dance steps, Grunt! SHEENA (excited): Sounds like a super idea! (grabs Cobber by the arm) C'mon, Cobbie, let's show'm how it's done! COBBER (shocked): But I don't know how to dance! SHEENA (excited): Consider this a crash course! COBBER (under his breath): That's what worries me..... Sheena drags Cobber out on the dance floor. To everyone's amazement, Sheena and Cobber dance quite well together. Persia has to leave the dance early when Grunt steps on her feet one too many times. Even Bruno and Molly, the "Fred Astair and Ginger Rogers" of the Canius Minor, are very impressed. Whitey and Sno-wie dance also, neither one looking very comfortable doing it. Later in the evening, Cobber walks Sheena to her door. SHEENA (dreamily): Oh Cobbie! I wish this night didn't have to end. COBBER (smiles): I know what ya mean, darlin', but both of us have early duty assignments in the morning SHEENA (smiles): See you at breakfast? COBBER (nods): Of course! SHEENA (sadly): Goodnight, Cobbie! COBBER (sadly): Goodnight, my love! The two share one last, long, passionate kiss and part. So ends Cobber's first day aboard the Canius Minor ---------------------------------------------------------------------