K.e.n's Rules for life!
Hey... this is what I used to do in High School when I was bored in class or study hall. I tried to come up with entertaining little rules to live by. Here are a few. I'll add more when I find the full list. Oh... if you are wondering why some aren't really rules and just random thoughts... go to hell!
For people that didn't read the disclaimer --^ These aren't really rules, I just call them that. Kinda like how Ben Franklin's Farmer's Almanac wasn't really an Almanac. Or was it? Bwah Hah Hah heh ack (cough cough)
It is impolite to point without laughingAll your base are belong to us
You are on the way to destruction
What you say?
You have no chance to survive make your time
I think that I think too much... oops there I go again.
ALL Old People should be forced into tiny retirement communities in Florida after the age of 65
Speed Limits violate freedom of expression
I think if mank is not a word, it should be.
Run Lola, Run was a good movie about a hottie with tank-ass.
What the hell happened to Chef Boyardee Beef Ravioli? It used to be so good.... what a minute, this isn't a rule is it?
If you have political unrest in your stomache, find the bathroom cause your gonna spew.
When making a list, add things to the top so people will know that you changed it a little
The only question I cannot truthfully answer is where I've been and what I've been doing these past 19 years
People named ERNIE have warped parents
Words like "You STUPID ASS!!!" can damage the self-esteem of little children
It would probably be embarrassing if your father was remembered as the man who bested Hitler
People who read over the shoulders of other people develop cancer of the face
Nothing is more refreshing than pouring cold lemonade onto sand… and then rolling in it
I don't ever want to feel my intestines flapping against my thighs and you shouldn't either
The only good burger is a veggie burger if you truly believe that, I will have
to kill you
If you give me a dollar, Brandon will stick his evil in you!
If you don't give me a dollar, Brandon will stick his evil in you!
You had better just give me the dollar!
Spam is pink. That is because it hasn't eaten your soul yet. If your Spam is purple then your soul is gone! Quickly, eat the purple Spam and you may get to keep your soul. ....Hey! Tough break, pal.
Insanity is only 3 states away. You must go there by car and return by either plane or boat... Hey, I dont make the rules!
When I'm in a really bad mood, you'd better have tartar sauce handy
If you ever run out of deodorant , 2 words: Processed Cheese
I like cultural people…. You should too!
Flat Tires, Explosives… Coincidence?
Don't believe every thing you hear.... except everything I tell you.
It's not my CAR, Its my DEATH CAGE!!!
If I suddenly turn into a gray slimy ooze, take some of me with you as a souvenir, I hear I taste like Chicken
Don't be a f*cker -Contributed by Jen
Amish people are not amusing
I just don't understand some people!!! They eat PEZ like it was candy!
Victoria's real secret is that she is a man
Toke this... in remembrance of me.
Extremists should all be killed.
You shouldn't try to be the "bigger" person.... just leave that to chance
It's more fun to gallop
Don't play favorites; unless I'm the favorite.
Do not make contact with people infected with bacteria eating flesh.
Avoid Lhurgoyfs
People that go to school sick should stop it!
Ignorance is bliss.... you must be very happy.
Join the ZERO movement!
You appear foolish in the eyes of others (taken from The Simpsons)
Don't stop for yeild signs!!!
Don't steal Road Signs (you don't want)
Rules are for sissies and momma's boys
If greatness is your aim, do great things.
I don't like people
A person is better than people
the rights of people are more important that the rights of a person, unless that person is me
Bob Dole for President! heh heh heh
El Mintõs
Go Naked!
The media must be stopped at all costs!
I don't think sober should be a 5 letter word
Pastels look silly. So do sweat clothes, head, arm, and wrist bands.
Balogne should be spelled phonetically
I hate stupid people like him.
Billy Jean is not my lover
I'll bet the plague turns chicks off
It should be socially acceptable to kill, kill, kill, da white man.
All is better than none
It wasn't a weather balloon... It wasn't a UFO... it was a Nazi spaceship returning from Hitler's secret base on the moon!
Mud is best applied to unwilling bodies
Zippers, Clasps, Buttons.... all Frills!
It is imperative I utilize it which is containing "I."
Catch first, then Run!
Don't try to start fires with Lightening!
Meat is murder, milk is rape
Nobody wants a camel for a security guard
Mustard is Brain food
War is the oldest, most sacred form of art. Don't approach the canvas if you haven't got the paint.
Spinach, Lettuce, Parsley; nothing like home grown greens.
Don't rape my inner child
The saddest story ever told is the greatest story never told.
Stoning the town whore can be an excellent way to relieve stress
If you don't get the hidden meaning behind the Nissan commercials, look closer you jackass!
People who whisper to bother me loose their comfy chair in heaven!
The first amendment does not protect people like YOU!
When my heart shriveled and died, I replaced it with a coconut
Make 7 Up Yours. Up Yours Baby.
That last one wasn't really a rule
Neither was that one. Dammit I'm doing it again.
