Romeo and Juliet By: Uranus Yuy

Gundam Wing Campaign

Ms. I know: * picks a paper from her desk and speaks to the class that is sleeping * Now, listen up, this year our class has been selected to perform a play for the school, and the play is Romeo and Juliet.

* The male students complained that they didn't want to kiss a girl and the girls complain that they didn't want to kiss a boy *

Aisu: * jumps up from chair and raises hand * I, Aisu Aileron, claim that I'm Juliet, and Heero Yuy is my Romeo.

Heero: * looks over to Aisu * How many times most I tell you, leave me alone.

Ms. I Know: Look, Aisu, you just can't say that you're Juliet or that Heero is Romeo. The way to determine who is going to be who is by an audition, and that will be held tomorrow at 6:00 PM sharp. * Bell rings * Class is demise, and remember if you want to be part of the play come to the tryouts tomorrow at 6:00 PM.

* The class rushes out except for Aisu, Relena, and Heero *

Relena: Heero, will you be trying out for the play? * Gets up from chair *

Aisu: * walks over to Relena and hits her on the back * Look, Relena, just take my advice and leave Heero and me alone. * walks over to Heero and clinks onto him *

Relena: * watches Aisu and Heero walk off *

Heero: Why can't you stop clinking on me, because you hanging around me all the time is already too much?

Aisu: The day will never dawn when I can stop clinking on you for a matter of reasons. Anyway, are you going to tryout for the play, or are you just gonna not bother with it?

Heero: We're not going to bother with the play because you and I aren't going to get ourselves involved in anything at this school.

Aisu: Heh. Heh. Heh. Heero, you and I are going to be in that play whether you like it or not. * let's go of

Heero as they walk on the balcony area * * runs over to the edge of the balcony * Heero! Come here and look at the great view!

Heero: * walks over to Aisu and grabs her by the shoulders * Let's go!

Aisu: He grabbed me. * Sigh *

* Aisu and Heero start to head to the first floor of the school, but Relena stops them *

Relena: Um...um....um...um...HHEEEEEEERRRROOOOO!!!! * yells like Tarzan *

* stops and notices that the two had left *

Fan Member of the Relena club: I guess that's the hottest new thing these days. Come on everybody let's join in with Relena!

* All of the Relena type peoples start to follow Relena's example *

* Aisu and Heero walk into the nearby park and hear the entire school body yelling his name *

Aisu: WOW! Heero I guess you've become really popular, so I think you should tryout for Romeo.

Heero: How many times does it take for me to say something until you get something through your tiny head?

Aisu: I don't have a tiny brain, because you know it does take brains to be a spy and a computer technician.

Heero: Ok, let's put it this way then, after you learned to work with computers and all the other crap you do, you accidentally fell on your head. And from that time on your became a baka.

Aisu: Well, there was this one time...

Aisu: None of your business. * lets go of Heero and runs away *

Heero:* says in a stunned voice * She...she's gone. SHE"S GONE!!!! * jumps around the park with joy * HIPIEE!!

Aisu: * goes to the nearest phone booth * * dials a long-distance phone number *

Doctor J: * hears phone ring and walks over to the phone to answer it * Hello.

Aisu: Hiya, Doctor J! Look, I need to get back to Heero, so I'll be direct, order Heero to be Romeo in our school play as his next mission.

Doctor J: Now, why in the hell would I do that?

Aisu: * sighs * Fine, I'll send you an Elmo doll.

Dr. J: I understand my mission. * hangs up phone *

Aisu: Who knew, that a simple doll would make an old geezer do your will. Anyway, I think I should be going back to my beloved, Heero Yuy. * runs back to where she last left Heero and finds him jumping around with glee *

* Sweatdrop * HEERO, ARE YOU OK!?

Heero: * Looks over to where Aisu is standing * * turns normal at a rapid pace * Phooey. WHY CAN"T YOU JUST GO BACK TO WHAT YOU WERE DOING!?

Aisu: Sorry, Honey, but no can do? * runs over to Heero and clinks again * So, where to?!

Heero: * sigh * * beep * * Looks at his pager and sees that Doctor J. is paging *

Aisu: What is it, Heero? * looms over Heero to try and see the phone number on the pager *

Heero: I'm on call, I guess I should go and check up with Dr. J. * drags Aisu over to the pay phone that she was at earlier * * dials Dr. J's phone number and hears the phone ring *

Dr. J: Heero, is that you?

Dr. J: I knew it was you! Now, listen up really good to me, your next mission is to play Romeo in your school play, got it!

Heero: * grunts * What type of mission is that?

Doctor J: I don't know, but could you tell Aisu to send my tickle-me Elmo in express, so that I can get it in a hurry. * laughs like Pooh * I can't wait for it to come in the mail. I truly thank that boy, Heero. * hangs up *

Heero: DOCTOR J, WAIT!! * hears no one on the other line * * finally hangs up phone * * looks down at Aisu * AISU!!??

Aisu: * looks back at Heero and shrugs * What?

Heero: How can you say what, when you know what I'm talking about?!

Aisu: * looks away * Why do you think I have to do with Doctor J. giving you a stupid mission?

Heero: Because he says to tell you that he wants his Elmo doll in First-class mail.

Aisu: * shrugs and takes off with Heero * Let's go home, already!

(Next day at the tryouts)

Ms. I know: Ok, Duo Maxwell, you're the first one up.

Aisu: * goes into shock * What in the hell is Duo here for? * Gets up from her seat and yells * Duo, why on Earth are you here, and besides you don't even go to this school!?

Duo: * shouts back * Because when I heard that you guys were doing Romeo and Juliet I couldn't help, but come and tryout!

Aisu: Ok, I think that I'll have to use the SWORCE to get things the way I want them. * Walks over to the teacher and waves her hand like a SWORCE Jedi * You will forget the tryouts and allow me to make the script and cast the characters. Oh, yeah, you'll also let me be the director of the play.

Ms. I know: * goes into a trance and repeats what Aisu had just said * I will let you be the director, cast the characters, and write the script of the play. * runs out of the auditorium like a happy elf or something *

Aisu: * turns around to see the other three Gundam Pilots * Why are you guys here?

Trowa: We wanted to have some fun, so we decided to come and tryout for the play.

Aisu: Fine, you all can be in the play. Trowa you'll be Romeo's dad, Quatre can be Juliet's dad, Duo can be a minister and the god,, Hades, Heero is going to be Romeo, Relena can be Juliet, and Wufei a withered up, half dead tree. Any question before we go further on?

Wufei: * raises hand * Yes, why do I have too be a tree?

Aisu: Because if I give you a speaking part you may start your ranting on justice on all that other crap.

Wufei: Justice isn't crap it's... * Trowa and Duo take him by the arms, drags him away to the janitor's closet, locks him in there, and returns to Aisu and the others * * bangs on door * Let me out of here, I have to finish my speech on Justice!

Relena: * slowly walks up to Aisu * You're going to let me be Juliet?

Aisu: Yeah, but don't expect to be lively when the fighting between the fathers begin. * walks away from Relena and to a young boy that is sitting by himself * Hello, aren't you the one that wanted to be the costume designer?

Boy: * looks up to Aisu * Yes, Madam.

Aisu: What's your name, may I ask?

Boy: My name is Agar, why?

Aisu: Ok, Agar the job is yours, and I'm expecting nothing less then perfection from you.

Agar: * jumps up from seat and sleuths Aisu * You can count on me!

Aisu: Here, these are the names of the type of costumes that I'll need for the play.

Agar: * looks down at the paper and reads it aloud * Romeo, Juliet...wedding dress? Hades? Um...what on earth would you need a wedding dress and a costume for Hades?

Aisu: Because in my version of Romeo and Juliet, they'll be needed, so just trust me. * walks out of the auditorium and to the school's media center *

Relena: * walks over to Heero * So what do you think about me being Juliet?

Heero: I think you should just drop it because you're going to find yourself dead, before half of the play is done. * then walks away and to the media center after Aisu *

Relena: This is going to be the best version of Romeo and Juliet ever. * smiles *

Heero: Hey, Aisu, what in the hell are you doing now? * walks over to Aisu, whom is searching through old books *

Aisu: * stops searching and raises head to look at Heero * I'm looking for the book of Romeo and Juliet, I do need a guideline to help me out with writing the play, you know? * goes back to searching *

Heero: Do...* starts to mutter * do you want me to help you?

Aisu: * looks up again * What did you say?

Heero: Do you want me to help you?

Aisu: * walks over to Heero and places her hand on Heero's forehead * It isn't a fever. * grabs Heero's head and shakes it * * places her ear on top of his head * It doesn't sound like there's something loose in there. * rubs chin * I KNOW!! YOUR SPANDEX IS ON TO TIGHT...that can't be it because they're TARDIS spandex. * sighs *

Heero: Hey, I only asked if you wanted my help?

Aisu: * shrugs * Yes, I would like your help, my beloved! * smiles *

Heero: * rolls his eyes and kneels down to look at the call numbers * * sees call numbers such as 754.54 R * Why are you looking in the non-fiction area?

Aisu: The book, Romeo and Juliet, has to be here because it has the letter R under all these numbers. * points to the R *

Heero: * slaps his forehead and shakes head * Come on. * gets up and walks over to the fiction section *

Aisu: Hey, I thought you were going to help me! * starts to run after Heero *

Librarian: * put finger to her lips * SSSHHHHHHH!

Aisu: * ignores the librarian and continues to yell * Heero, wait for me? * runs after Heero *

Heero: Hmm... * takes a book from off the shelf * * walks over to the Librarian and checks out the freaken book *

Aisu: Heero?! * runs over to the check-out counter after Heero *

Heero: Come on, we better go work on this script of yours. * walks out of the media center with the book in hand *

Aisu: * runs out in front of Heero and grabs the book from his hand * Wait. Heero, I want to make this script on my own, you could say its going to be a surprise.

Heero: Let me guess, Relena dies, and you become the new Juliet.

Aisu: Well, you get the point, but there's going to be a little more than that. * smiles at Heero and skips away *

Heero: WAIT!! Why do I even care? * shakes his head, walks outside and starts to head for his temporary home *

(Two weeks later when the costumes, stage, and the script were written the big moment came when the play was to be performed. Please, take in consideration that this play was never rehearsed, but the characters do or should know their parts.)

Aisu: HURRY UP PEOPLE, WE'RE ON IN TWO!!! WHERE IS MY TREE!!??

Trowa and Duo: * clears their throats and slink to the janitor's closet * * open the door and finds a sick Wufei *

Wufei: * moans in sickness *

Duo: Are you ok, Wufei?

Wufei: * moans some more *

Trowa: Um...Wufei, how have you survived in here for two weeks?

Wufei: * moans and points to a bucket of dirty mob water *

Trowa and Duo: * Sweatdrop and then picks Wufei up by the arms and then drags him back to the auditorium *

Aisu: * sees Wufei being dragged in and runs to him * * smiles * THAT'S THE PERFECT LOOK FOR A

WITHERED UP TREE!! * hugs Wufei * Ok, Wufei, go and get ready for the play, because we're on in two minutes. Oh, and that goes for the both of you as well.

* Trowa and Duo let go of Wufei to get ready *

Wufei: * moans and uses his arms to move but doesn't get far *

Aisu: Ok, we're on...NOW!

* curtain is pulled revealing the stage with peoples and a sick Wufei in the middle of the stage, lying down *

Narrator: Our story begins when Juliet is sleeping in her bed peacefully, but that peaceful sleeping was to interrupt by New York tourist! The tourist didn't like Juliet because she raised the price on potato chips by a PENNY! WHAT IN THE HELL WAS SHE THINKING!!! Anyway, to show their angry, they released atomic bombs, pirates, Juliet killers, and nerds, but she made it threw unfazed. And so our story begins...

Juliet: * wakes up and sees that her room and home for that matter has been destroyed * What happened?! * gets to her feet and walks to the edge of her blown up house * It's such a nice day today, I guess I'll find a party to go to. * accidentally trips on Wufei *

Wufei: * moans some more *

Juliet: I guess it's a drunky. * digs threw hammerspace for a Styrofoam bat, and then she begins to smack Wufei repeatedly *

Narrator: Meanwhile, the evil Greek god, Hades watched Juliet from his crystal ball as she smacked the helpless sick Wufei...

Hades: I will not let Rel...Juliet won't get away with smacking one of my New York tourists. * gets up from his important chair and yells * Doctor G! Deathscythe!

Doctor G: * walks into the room * Yes, Duo...I mean Hades.

Deathscythe: * thunders it's way in *

Hades: * walks into a room with his two servants falling behind * Doctor G, Deathscythe, how do you kill an immortal?

Deathscythe: Beep. Beep.

Hades: That's right Deathscythe, the answer is you can't so you have to turn her mortal. * grabs a bottle of magical apple juice *

Narrator: I like to order a double-cheeseburger and some fries, and make that express delivery.

Aisu: You baka, it's your line.

Narrator: It is? Oh?! Hades ordered...I can't wait for my double-cheeseburger. Yummy! Anyway, Hades ordered his two little imps to take the mystical apple juice and use it to turn Juliet mortal.

Juliet: This is so tiring. * stops hitting Wufei and slumps down beside him * I'm going to go look for party, what about you drunk addict?

Wufei: * groans his loudest *

Juliet: Whatever, bye. * gets up trots away * * finds a two year olds party and joins in * * laughs at the clown,

Little kids: * cry for their mommies and screaming evil clown *

Trowa the clown: I'm not evil! * gives the little kids the look and they blow up *

Juliet: I think I should get out of here. * begins to slink away but bumps into a boy * Oh, excuse me.

Juliet: * whispers * Heero, say your lines.

Romeo: ... * hands Juliet a glass of apple juice *

Deathscythe: * comes over and picks up Juliet * * takes her apple juice and gives her a new cup of apple juice * Beep. Beep. Beep.

Deathscythe: * puts her down and stomps away *

Juliet: * drinks the apple juice, and the evil apple juice causes her to feel funny * I feel like that the only thing that is protecting me is gone.

New York tourists soldier: Captain!, Juliet's unreality/oblivion shield has been deactivated!

Captain New York Tourist: What, can this be! Ok, then don't waste time, send out the nerds!

Same soldier as before: YES, SIR!!

Nerds: * start to march to the enemy * 125,456,568 * 465,456 = 584,512,315,008

Narrator: Back at Juliet and Romeo a battle has broken out between both their families.

Romeo's father: Look, Mr. Juliet's dad, I'm only saying that I think the idea of green flowers is just ridiculous!

Juliet's Father: What's wrong with green flowers?!

Romeo's father: The earth needs more color than green!

Juliet's father: Fine! If you're going to act like that, then your boy, Romeo can't be with my beloved daughter, Juliet!

Romeo's father: Fine1 * stomps over to where Romeo and Juliet are standing and then grabs Romeo by the collar * Let's go boy!

* all characters leave the stage except for Juliet and then the NERDS ATTACK!!! *

Nerds: Did you know that there are nine planets? Did you know that no one likes you? Did you know, you're

Juliet: NNNOOOO!!! PLEASE STOP WITH THE QUESTIONS!!!! * the questions get to her so much that her

New York tourist: MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!! LET'S CELEBRATE!! * balloons and other party gear appear*

Juliet2: * runs to Romeo and ties him up and carriers him to the final scene * Ok, Minister Duo go ahead with the wedding scene.

Romeo: Hey, no one said anything about a wedding scene! * gets gagged by Juliet2 *

Minister Duo: Romeo, do you take Aisu has your wife?

Romeo: * tries to talk with the sock in his mouth *

Juliet2: Without any doubt, he said yes. * smiles *

Minister Duo: And do you...

Juliet2: YES!!! * without letting the minister finish, she carries Romeo over her head, and they're out of there *

* gets stopped by Ms. I Know *

Ms. I Know: STOP, THIS PLAY AT ONCE!!! * runs onto to the stage * Aisu, your version of Romeo and Juliet is to unlike the real story.

Aisu: Is that a problem?

Ms. I Know: YES!! New York, didn't even exist 200 hundred years ago, and Juliet doesn't even get killed by nerds either!

Aisu: * put down Romeo, who then worms away, or at least tries * TROWA!!

Trowa: Yes, Aisu. * runs over to Aisu *

Aisu: Could you please give this woman the look, so she'll blow up.

Trowa: I can't do that, because she's your teacher.

Aisu: Fine, I'll get some else to do it! NEW YORK TOURIST HERE'S JULIET'S MOM!!!!

Captain New York Tourist: Did you hear that!? Send out the Juliet killers, and make sure they get the job done!

New York Tourist: Yes, Sir! Sending out three Juliet killers!

Juliet killers: * chant must kill Juliet's mother *

Ms. I Know: AAAHHHHHH!!! * runs away in terror *

Juliet killers: * they summon a freaked flying cow * * splat * MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!

Romeo: * tries to speak again *

Juliet killer 1: What did he say?

Aisu: He said, stop mocking me.

Juliet killer: Well, is that so? * him and the other two Juliet killers start to gang up her and Romeo *

Aisu: * goes in front of Romeo and spreads her arms * Don't you dare get any closer to my Romeo!

Juliet killer 3: Oh, and what do we have here, a little girl trying to protect her dear Romeo. * says in a girl's voice *

Juliet2: Shut up, spammit!

Butcher: Where's spam?!

* Juliet killers turn to look at the butcher, and then turns back to Juliet, whom has vanished as long with Romeo*

Juliet killer 2: Where did they go?

Wufei: * gets up and kicks their ass * * then runs after Juliet and Romeo * OK, NOW THAT I'M FEELING

BETTER, LET ME FINISH MY SPEECH ON JUSTICE AND INTEGRITY!

Juliet2: * faint voice * Never!

* the rest of the cast took a bow and wound up finding that the audience wasn't there any more *

Note: Now, that is what I call weird. ; )

Doctor J: * sitting in front of the mailbox * Yep, any time now, that Elmo doll should be coming any time, now.

Aisu: Heero, I think I've forgotten something extremely important.

Heero: If you forgot it then it mustn't have been important.

Aisu: I guess you're right. * shrugs and glomps over Heero *

Doctor J: Yep, any time now.


	Gundam Wing Campaign Romeo and Juliet By: Uranus Yuy Ms. I know: * picks a paper from her desk and speaks to the class that is sleeping * Now, listen up, this year our class has been selected to perform a play for the school, and the play is Romeo and Juliet. * The male students complained that they didn't want to kiss a girl and the girls complain that they didn't want to kiss a boy * Aisu: * jumps up from chair and raises hand * I, Aisu Aileron, claim that I'm Juliet, and Heero Yuy is my Romeo. Heero: * looks over to Aisu * How many times most I tell you, leave me alone. Ms. I Know: Look, Aisu, you just can't say that you're Juliet or that Heero is Romeo. The way to determine who is going to be who is by an audition, and that will be held tomorrow at 6:00 PM sharp. * Bell rings * Class is demise, and remember if you want to be part of the play come to the tryouts tomorrow at 6:00 PM. * The class rushes out except for Aisu, Relena, and Heero * Relena: Heero, will you be trying out for the play? * Gets up from chair * Heero:... Aisu: * walks over to Relena and hits her on the back * Look, Relena, just take my advice and leave Heero and me alone. * walks over to Heero and clinks onto him * Relena: * watches Aisu and Heero walk off * Heero: Why can't you stop clinking on me, because you hanging around me all the time is already too much? Aisu: The day will never dawn when I can stop clinking on you for a matter of reasons. Anyway, are you going to tryout for the play, or are you just gonna not bother with it? Heero: We're not going to bother with the play because you and I aren't going to get ourselves involved in anything at this school. Aisu: Heh. Heh. Heh. Heero, you and I are going to be in that play whether you like it or not. * let's go of Heero as they walk on the balcony area * * runs over to the edge of the balcony * Heero! Come here and look at the great view! Heero: * walks over to Aisu and grabs her by the shoulders * Let's go! Aisu: He grabbed me. * Sigh * * Aisu and Heero start to head to the first floor of the school, but Relena stops them * Relena: Um...um....um...um...HHEEEEEEERRRROOOOO!!!! * yells like Tarzan * * stops and notices that the two had left * Fan Member of the Relena club: I guess that's the hottest new thing these days. Come on everybody let's join in with Relena! * All of the Relena type peoples start to follow Relena's example * * Aisu and Heero walk into the nearby park and hear the entire school body yelling his name * Aisu: WOW! Heero I guess you've become really popular, so I think you should tryout for Romeo. Heero: How many times does it take for me to say something until you get something through your tiny head? Aisu: I don't have a tiny brain, because you know it does take brains to be a spy and a computer technician. Heero: Ok, let's put it this way then, after you learned to work with computers and all the other crap you do, you accidentally fell on your head. And from that time on your became a baka. Aisu: Well, there was this one time... Heero: Never mind. Aisu: Hmm... Heero: What is it? Aisu: None of your business. * lets go of Heero and runs away * Heero:* says in a stunned voice * She...she's gone. SHE"S GONE!!!! * jumps around the park with joy * HIPIEE!! Aisu: * goes to the nearest phone booth * * dials a long-distance phone number * Doctor J: * hears phone ring and walks over to the phone to answer it * Hello. Aisu: Hiya, Doctor J! Look, I need to get back to Heero, so I'll be direct, order Heero to be Romeo in our school play as his next mission. Doctor J: Now, why in the hell would I do that? Aisu: * sighs * Fine, I'll send you an Elmo doll. Dr. J: I understand my mission. * hangs up phone * Aisu: Who knew, that a simple doll would make an old geezer do your will. Anyway, I think I should be going back to my beloved, Heero Yuy. * runs back to where she last left Heero and finds him jumping around with glee * * Sweatdrop * HEERO, ARE YOU OK!? Heero: * Looks over to where Aisu is standing * * turns normal at a rapid pace * Phooey. WHY CAN"T YOU JUST GO BACK TO WHAT YOU WERE DOING!? Aisu: Sorry, Honey, but no can do? * runs over to Heero and clinks again * So, where to?! Heero: * sigh * * beep * * Looks at his pager and sees that Doctor J. is paging * Aisu: What is it, Heero? * looms over Heero to try and see the phone number on the pager * Heero: I'm on call, I guess I should go and check up with Dr. J. * drags Aisu over to the pay phone that she was at earlier * * dials Dr. J's phone number and hears the phone ring * Dr. J: Heero, is that you? Heero:... Dr. J: I knew it was you! Now, listen up really good to me, your next mission is to play Romeo in your school play, got it! Heero: * grunts * What type of mission is that? Doctor J: I don't know, but could you tell Aisu to send my tickle-me Elmo in express, so that I can get it in a hurry. * laughs like Pooh * I can't wait for it to come in the mail. I truly thank that boy, Heero. * hangs up * Heero: DOCTOR J, WAIT!! * hears no one on the other line * * finally hangs up phone * * looks down at Aisu * AISU!!?? Aisu: * looks back at Heero and shrugs * What? Heero: How can you say what, when you know what I'm talking about?! Aisu: * looks away * Why do you think I have to do with Doctor J. giving you a stupid mission? Heero: Because he says to tell you that he wants his Elmo doll in First-class mail. Aisu: * shrugs and takes off with Heero * Let's go home, already! (Next day at the tryouts) Ms. I know: Ok, Duo Maxwell, you're the first one up. Aisu: * goes into shock * What in the hell is Duo here for? * Gets up from her seat and yells * Duo, why on Earth are you here, and besides you don't even go to this school!? Duo: * shouts back * Because when I heard that you guys were doing Romeo and Juliet I couldn't help, but come and tryout! Aisu: Ok, I think that I'll have to use the SWORCE to get things the way I want them. * Walks over to the teacher and waves her hand like a SWORCE Jedi * You will forget the tryouts and allow me to make the script and cast the characters. Oh, yeah, you'll also let me be the director of the play. Ms. I know: * goes into a trance and repeats what Aisu had just said * I will let you be the director, cast the characters, and write the script of the play. * runs out of the auditorium like a happy elf or something * Aisu: * turns around to see the other three Gundam Pilots * Why are you guys here? Trowa: We wanted to have some fun, so we decided to come and tryout for the play. Aisu: Fine, you all can be in the play. Trowa you'll be Romeo's dad, Quatre can be Juliet's dad, Duo can be a minister and the god,, Hades, Heero is going to be Romeo, Relena can be Juliet, and Wufei a withered up, half dead tree. Any question before we go further on? Wufei: * raises hand * Yes, why do I have too be a tree? Aisu: Because if I give you a speaking part you may start your ranting on justice on all that other crap. Wufei: Justice isn't crap it's... * Trowa and Duo take him by the arms, drags him away to the janitor's closet, locks him in there, and returns to Aisu and the others * * bangs on door * Let me out of here, I have to finish my speech on Justice! Relena: * slowly walks up to Aisu * You're going to let me be Juliet? Aisu: Yeah, but don't expect to be lively when the fighting between the fathers begin. * walks away from Relena and to a young boy that is sitting by himself * Hello, aren't you the one that wanted to be the costume designer? Boy: * looks up to Aisu * Yes, Madam. Aisu: What's your name, may I ask? Boy: My name is Agar, why? Aisu: Ok, Agar the job is yours, and I'm expecting nothing less then perfection from you. Agar: * jumps up from seat and sleuths Aisu * You can count on me! Aisu: Here, these are the names of the type of costumes that I'll need for the play. Agar: * looks down at the paper and reads it aloud * Romeo, Juliet...wedding dress? Hades? Um...what on earth would you need a wedding dress and a costume for Hades? Aisu: Because in my version of Romeo and Juliet, they'll be needed, so just trust me. * walks out of the auditorium and to the school's media center * Relena: * walks over to Heero * So what do you think about me being Juliet? Heero: I think you should just drop it because you're going to find yourself dead, before half of the play is done. * then walks away and to the media center after Aisu * Relena: This is going to be the best version of Romeo and Juliet ever. * smiles * Heero: Hey, Aisu, what in the hell are you doing now? * walks over to Aisu, whom is searching through old books * Aisu: * stops searching and raises head to look at Heero * I'm looking for the book of Romeo and Juliet, I do need a guideline to help me out with writing the play, you know? * goes back to searching * Heero: Do...* starts to mutter * do you want me to help you? Aisu: * looks up again * What did you say? Heero: Do you want me to help you? Aisu: * walks over to Heero and places her hand on Heero's forehead * It isn't a fever. * grabs Heero's head and shakes it * * places her ear on top of his head * It doesn't sound like there's something loose in there. * rubs chin * I KNOW!! YOUR SPANDEX IS ON TO TIGHT...that can't be it because they're TARDIS spandex. * sighs * Heero: Hey, I only asked if you wanted my help? Aisu: * shrugs * Yes, I would like your help, my beloved! * smiles * Heero: * rolls his eyes and kneels down to look at the call numbers * * sees call numbers such as 754.54 R * Why are you looking in the non-fiction area? Aisu: The book, Romeo and Juliet, has to be here because it has the letter R under all these numbers. * points to the R * Heero: * slaps his forehead and shakes head * Come on. * gets up and walks over to the fiction section * Aisu: Hey, I thought you were going to help me! * starts to run after Heero * Librarian: * put finger to her lips * SSSHHHHHHH! Aisu: * ignores the librarian and continues to yell * Heero, wait for me? * runs after Heero * Heero: Hmm... * takes a book from off the shelf * * walks over to the Librarian and checks out the freaken book * Aisu: Heero?! * runs over to the check-out counter after Heero * Heero: Come on, we better go work on this script of yours. * walks out of the media center with the book in hand * Aisu: * runs out in front of Heero and grabs the book from his hand * Wait. Heero, I want to make this script on my own, you could say its going to be a surprise. Heero: Let me guess, Relena dies, and you become the new Juliet. Aisu: Well, you get the point, but there's going to be a little more than that. * smiles at Heero and skips away * Heero: WAIT!! Why do I even care? * shakes his head, walks outside and starts to head for his temporary home * (Two weeks later when the costumes, stage, and the script were written the big moment came when the play was to be performed. Please, take in consideration that this play was never rehearsed, but the characters do or should know their parts.) Aisu: HURRY UP PEOPLE, WE'RE ON IN TWO!!! WHERE IS MY TREE!!?? Trowa and Duo: * clears their throats and slink to the janitor's closet * * open the door and finds a sick Wufei * Wufei: * moans in sickness * Duo: Are you ok, Wufei? Wufei: * moans some more * Trowa: Um...Wufei, how have you survived in here for two weeks? Wufei: * moans and points to a bucket of dirty mob water * Trowa and Duo: * Sweatdrop and then picks Wufei up by the arms and then drags him back to the auditorium * Aisu: * sees Wufei being dragged in and runs to him * * smiles * THAT'S THE PERFECT LOOK FOR A WITHERED UP TREE!! * hugs Wufei * Ok, Wufei, go and get ready for the play, because we're on in two minutes. Oh, and that goes for the both of you as well. * Trowa and Duo let go of Wufei to get ready * Wufei: * moans and uses his arms to move but doesn't get far * Aisu: Ok, we're on...NOW! * curtain is pulled revealing the stage with peoples and a sick Wufei in the middle of the stage, lying down * Narrator: Our story begins when Juliet is sleeping in her bed peacefully, but that peaceful sleeping was to interrupt by New York tourist! The tourist didn't like Juliet because she raised the price on potato chips by a PENNY! WHAT IN THE HELL WAS SHE THINKING!!! Anyway, to show their angry, they released atomic bombs, pirates, Juliet killers, and nerds, but she made it threw unfazed. And so our story begins... Juliet: * wakes up and sees that her room and home for that matter has been destroyed * What happened?! * gets to her feet and walks to the edge of her blown up house * It's such a nice day today, I guess I'll find a party to go to. * accidentally trips on Wufei * Wufei: * moans some more * Juliet: I guess it's a drunky. * digs threw hammerspace for a Styrofoam bat, and then she begins to smack Wufei repeatedly * Narrator: Meanwhile, the evil Greek god, Hades watched Juliet from his crystal ball as she smacked the helpless sick Wufei... Hades: I will not let Rel...Juliet won't get away with smacking one of my New York tourists. * gets up from his important chair and yells * Doctor G! Deathscythe! Doctor G: * walks into the room * Yes, Duo...I mean Hades. Deathscythe: * thunders it's way in * Hades: * walks into a room with his two servants falling behind * Doctor G, Deathscythe, how do you kill an immortal? Deathscythe: Beep. Beep. Hades: That's right Deathscythe, the answer is you can't so you have to turn her mortal. * grabs a bottle of magical apple juice * Narrator: I like to order a double-cheeseburger and some fries, and make that express delivery. Aisu: You baka, it's your line. Narrator: It is? Oh?! Hades ordered...I can't wait for my double-cheeseburger. Yummy! Anyway, Hades ordered his two little imps to take the mystical apple juice and use it to turn Juliet mortal. Juliet: This is so tiring. * stops hitting Wufei and slumps down beside him * I'm going to go look for party, what about you drunk addict? Wufei: * groans his loudest * Juliet: Whatever, bye. * gets up trots away * * finds a two year olds party and joins in * * laughs at the clown, who is also Trowa * Little kids: * cry for their mommies and screaming evil clown * Trowa the clown: I'm not evil! * gives the little kids the look and they blow up * Juliet: I think I should get out of here. * begins to slink away but bumps into a boy * Oh, excuse me. Boy: ... Juliet: * whispers * Heero, say your lines. Romeo: ... * hands Juliet a glass of apple juice * Deathscythe: * comes over and picks up Juliet * * takes her apple juice and gives her a new cup of apple juice * Beep. Beep. Beep. Juliet: Thank you. Deathscythe: * puts her down and stomps away * Juliet: * drinks the apple juice, and the evil apple juice causes her to feel funny * I feel like that the only thing that is protecting me is gone. New York tourists soldier: Captain!, Juliet's unreality/oblivion shield has been deactivated! Captain New York Tourist: What, can this be! Ok, then don't waste time, send out the nerds! Same soldier as before: YES, SIR!! Nerds: * start to march to the enemy * 125,456,568 * 465,456 = 584,512,315,008 Narrator: Back at Juliet and Romeo a battle has broken out between both their families. Romeo's father: Look, Mr. Juliet's dad, I'm only saying that I think the idea of green flowers is just ridiculous! Juliet's Father: What's wrong with green flowers?! Romeo's father: The earth needs more color than green! Juliet's father: Fine! If you're going to act like that, then your boy, Romeo can't be with my beloved daughter, Juliet! Romeo's father: Fine1 * stomps over to where Romeo and Juliet are standing and then grabs Romeo by the collar * Let's go boy! * all characters leave the stage except for Juliet and then the NERDS ATTACK!!! * Nerds: Did you know that there are nine planets? Did you know that no one likes you? Did you know, you're going to die? Juliet: NNNOOOO!!! PLEASE STOP WITH THE QUESTIONS!!!! * the questions get to her so much that her head explodes * New York tourist: MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!! LET'S CELEBRATE!! * balloons and other party gear appear* Juliet2: * runs to Romeo and ties him up and carriers him to the final scene * Ok, Minister Duo go ahead with the wedding scene. Romeo: Hey, no one said anything about a wedding scene! * gets gagged by Juliet2 * Minister Duo: Romeo, do you take Aisu has your wife? Romeo: * tries to talk with the sock in his mouth * Juliet2: Without any doubt, he said yes. * smiles * Minister Duo: And do you... Juliet2: YES!!! * without letting the minister finish, she carries Romeo over her head, and they're out of there * * gets stopped by Ms. I Know * Ms. I Know: STOP, THIS PLAY AT ONCE!!! * runs onto to the stage * Aisu, your version of Romeo and Juliet is to unlike the real story. Aisu: Is that a problem? Ms. I Know: YES!! New York, didn't even exist 200 hundred years ago, and Juliet doesn't even get killed by nerds either! Aisu: * put down Romeo, who then worms away, or at least tries * TROWA!! Trowa: Yes, Aisu. * runs over to Aisu * Aisu: Could you please give this woman the look, so she'll blow up. Trowa: I can't do that, because she's your teacher. Aisu: Fine, I'll get some else to do it! NEW YORK TOURIST HERE'S JULIET'S MOM!!!! Captain New York Tourist: Did you hear that!? Send out the Juliet killers, and make sure they get the job done! New York Tourist: Yes, Sir! Sending out three Juliet killers! Juliet killers: * chant must kill Juliet's mother * Ms. I Know: AAAHHHHHH!!! * runs away in terror * Juliet killers: * they summon a freaked flying cow * * splat * MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!! Romeo: * tries to speak again * Juliet killer 1: What did he say? Aisu: He said, stop mocking me. Juliet killer: Well, is that so? * him and the other two Juliet killers start to gang up her and Romeo * Aisu: * goes in front of Romeo and spreads her arms * Don't you dare get any closer to my Romeo! Juliet killer 3: Oh, and what do we have here, a little girl trying to protect her dear Romeo. * says in a girl's voice * Juliet2: Shut up, spammit! Butcher: Where's spam?! * Juliet killers turn to look at the butcher, and then turns back to Juliet, whom has vanished as long with Romeo* Juliet killer 2: Where did they go? Wufei: * gets up and kicks their ass * * then runs after Juliet and Romeo * OK, NOW THAT I'M FEELING BETTER, LET ME FINISH MY SPEECH ON JUSTICE AND INTEGRITY! Juliet2: * faint voice * Never! * the rest of the cast took a bow and wound up finding that the audience wasn't there any more * ~ End ~ Note: Now, that is what I call weird. ; ) Doctor J: * sitting in front of the mailbox * Yep, any time now, that Elmo doll should be coming any time, now. Aisu: Heero, I think I've forgotten something extremely important. Heero: If you forgot it then it mustn't have been important. Aisu: I guess you're right. * shrugs and glomps over Heero * Doctor J: Yep, any time now. ~ Evil ~