Pagan

"I believe so Miss Relena. The tranquilizer guns are loaded, the large and scary men are ready at the door to grab them, the chairs with the wristlocks are ready, and the mind control beanies have fresh batteries in them. All is ready Miss Relena." Answered her nutcracker butler that somehow learned to walk and talk.

One dozen large and scary men that looked like a bunch of muscle-builder bodyguards jumped out from the shadows and attacked the five boys walking in. They managed to grab four of them but not without a fight. The boys gave the minimum of a black eye to each of them before they were forced into small wooden chairs and wristlocks were placed on them that were attacked to the chairs. They continued to struggle to get away but the locks were made of Gundanium alloy. The hardest substance in the galaxy, and they weren't going to break them that easily. The last boy was named Heero Yuy he somehow pulled a gun out of his incredibly tight spandex shorts that was currently unnoticed and attempted to shoot his attackers. But his gun had run out of bullets (there was only one left in THAT gun) and the fight was 11 huge guys to one skinny little boy. But this is Heero Yuy here. He isn't just some average kid we're talking about here. So then Heero easily took down four or five of the guards while still backed into his little corner with no weapon (at his use, there were still MANY weapons in his shorts).

"Doh yeah." One of the guards explained that he forgot there WERE tranquilizer guns. Obviously not as smart as he may seem. He picked up one of the many guns lying against the wall and attempted to shoot Heero. He easily dodged the dart but the dart DID hit someone. Yeah, one of the guards. So he picked up another gun (each gun had only 2 darts) and tried to shoot the boy again, Heero was hit this time but the tranquilizer dart wasn't strong enough and he shook it off with no problems. Then the guard became aggravated. He picked up the gun with the strongest dose that he could find and took extreme care in his aim and shoot Heero in the shoulder, almost missing. Heero instantly went down with a thud as soon as the dart touched his skin. After taking a second look the guard noticed the words "Elephant tranquilizer" on the gun. However he was too stupid to know how to read and threw the gun aside.

"Just as I suspected. This one will need extra restraints. Pagan, go and fetch the table. Guards you are dismissed." Proclaimed Relena as the guards left and Pagan went into a side room to grab "the table" all the while walking like someone has stuck a hanger up his ass and he couldn't quite walk correctly after the handicap. He returned a moment with a long table with many various locks on it like the ones on the chairs only there were a lot more.

"The chances of us getting out of this at this point is about 0 to 100. Heero should have…" Trowa continued talking about the tactics they SHOULD have used but was obviously quoting some person or another from the chair next to Quatre. The chair next to him was going to be for Heero but that was obviously not enough for him so it was left alone. Wufei, who was currently mumbling something about Justice as usual, because well, that's Wufei for you, occupied the chair next to that.

"Pagan, summon 4 workers." Demanded Relena. Pagan did as he was told and 4 tall guys dressed in black suits and wearing sunglasses entered the room awaiting orders from Relena. "Two of you, get that boy up on the table," she said as she pointed to Heero, "and get him strapped in. The other two of you I would like to put the mind control beanies on all of them."

The men were silent as they did their work and only did as they were told. When they tried to put the beanies on the pilots that were awake however, they had a bit of trouble. Duo was first and as soon as one of them came near to him with one of the `funny hats' he kicked him squarely in the nuts. The man doubled over on the floor in pain while Duo laughed at him his partner came over to see what was the problem. He quickly noticed the problem and attempted the same act as his partner with the same results. The other two had managed to drag Heero up onto the table and strap in the proper restraints with the beanie on with no problems because he was totally knocked out. They came over to the two guys on the floor after seeing the second one's fate they reconsidered directly trying to place the beanie on him so he went off and found some duct tape and taped his feet to the chair from behind. Duo complained that it "wasn't fair" and tried to free his feet while the beanie was placed on his head. The other pilots would have put up a similar struggle but their feet were taped immediately and the beanies placed firmly on their heads.

The guys bowed and followed their orders. The extracted a considerable amount of weapons from Duo, Trowa, Quatre, and Wufei consisting of things like knives, bombs, frying pans, a scythe, an assortment of guns and swords, clubs, Swiss Army knives, throwing knives, toothpicks, crowbars, bows and arrows, and the most dangerous weapon known to man, chibis. Heero however had a pile twice as big as the other and had double (at least) of everything the others had and more, like a large rock. Please refrain from asking how or where he had that rock. Please. Anyways…

Once again then something strange and interesting happened. Relena's band of cheerleaders busted down the LOCKED door and started obnoxiously cheering "Go Relena, Go!" over and over until the end of time and eventually this even became monotonous to the queen of the world and they were sent away but there were there right now and it's kinda funny so they're in the story. All right? Now we shall continue to something more important at the moment. Like the procession of Relena's plan.

"Yes Miss Relena." Answered nutcracker man. Pagan walked over (doing his funny little walk) to another table and grabbed a small remote control with a single red button on it. He picked it up and pushed the button on it and the funny yellow hats on the Gundam pilot's heads started to blink with multicolored lights. Then after a minute the Gundam pilots' eyes got all spiny and they started chanting together in a monotone voice, "no killing, no killing..." over and over. However Wufei being as he is he continued to chant that in his own language saying "Justice, justice, justice…." And also continued this over and over.

Now if you remember correctly, Heero was both heavily restrained and completely knocked out. But like I said, he's not a normal person and he is supposedly the "perfect soldier" (witch we all know is impossible because no one is perfect) and he can't give up killing all that easily so HE was continually SAYING (not chanting) Must…. Resist…. Must…. Resist…. But this was all really futile because the mind control beanies were just that. They take over your brain no matter who or what or what state you are in and make you become a pacifist, like Relena. Because guess who invented them? Yes that evil criminal mastermi- oh wait this is Relena; sorry let me try that again. Yes, that evil… queen of the world (Relena never does anything bad, this sucks for trying to make her look evil) Relena Peacecraft. She made the beanies for this purpose. She didn't like having all the killing the Gundam pilots were creating so she made these beanies and set them so they would allow the Gundam pilots to FIGHT but not kill. Just like she planed for Endless Waltz. Because if you pay very close attention you will catch that they said no one died except Marimea's head Boy Scout. (Piece of advice for Marimea: When trying to take over the world and strike fear into the hearts of all who oppose you, do not hire boy scouts, it's not very effective.) And this is the real story behind the fact. No lies. Now please forgive my interruption and allow me to resume the story.

Heero soon joined in with the others chanting "no killing, no killing…" over and over. After about two hours of this Relena decided the beanies had served their purpose and let all of the pilots go. They of course didn't remember a thing because the beanies also make you forget that you ever wore them. I almost forgot to mention that within the two hours Zecks showed up and Noin forced a beanie on him as well. So Zecks was now like the rest of them. Also Dorothy Catalonia showed up and simply mocked Relena as always and then proceeded to take a few picture of this for blackmail purposes on later dates. (The `dates' may be interpreted as however you want. It's funny both ways.)


	Gundam Wing Campaign \| Back Untitled by: Kaze Taka "Pagan, is everything ready for their arrival?" asked Relena. "I believe so Miss Relena. The tranquilizer guns are loaded, the large and scary men are ready at the door to grab them, the chairs with the wristlocks are ready, and the mind control beanies have fresh batteries in them. All is ready Miss Relena." Answered her nutcracker butler that somehow learned to walk and talk. " Good, good… What time is it then?" again asked Relena. "It's almost noon, they should be here soon Miss Relena." Answered Nutcracker man. "Good the plan is underway. They will all be pacifists before the day is out! Wa ha ha ha ha ha!" cackled Relena. "What's so funny?" asked Duo from the doorway. The other pilots were behind him, also curious to what the joke was. "Oh sorry, it was umm… an inside joke, umm…come in, come in." Relena gestured them inside and breathed a sigh of relief that they bought her alibi. She waited until they were inside a moment then closed the door and locked it. Shouting at the top of her lungs, "GET THEM YOU FOOLS!!" One dozen large and scary men that looked like a bunch of muscle-builder bodyguards jumped out from the shadows and attacked the five boys walking in. They managed to grab four of them but not without a fight. The boys gave the minimum of a black eye to each of them before they were forced into small wooden chairs and wristlocks were placed on them that were attacked to the chairs. They continued to struggle to get away but the locks were made of Gundanium alloy. The hardest substance in the galaxy, and they weren't going to break them that easily. The last boy was named Heero Yuy he somehow pulled a gun out of his incredibly tight spandex shorts that was currently unnoticed and attempted to shoot his attackers. But his gun had run out of bullets (there was only one left in THAT gun) and the fight was 11 huge guys to one skinny little boy. But this is Heero Yuy here. He isn't just some average kid we're talking about here. So then Heero easily took down four or five of the guards while still backed into his little corner with no weapon (at his use, there were still MANY weapons in his shorts). "You fools use the tranquilizer guns!" Shouted Relena from the other side of the room. "Doh yeah." One of the guards explained that he forgot there WERE tranquilizer guns. Obviously not as smart as he may seem. He picked up one of the many guns lying against the wall and attempted to shoot Heero. He easily dodged the dart but the dart DID hit someone. Yeah, one of the guards. So he picked up another gun (each gun had only 2 darts) and tried to shoot the boy again, Heero was hit this time but the tranquilizer dart wasn't strong enough and he shook it off with no problems. Then the guard became aggravated. He picked up the gun with the strongest dose that he could find and took extreme care in his aim and shoot Heero in the shoulder, almost missing. Heero instantly went down with a thud as soon as the dart touched his skin. After taking a second look the guard noticed the words "Elephant tranquilizer" on the gun. However he was too stupid to know how to read and threw the gun aside. "Just as I suspected. This one will need extra restraints. Pagan, go and fetch the table. Guards you are dismissed." Proclaimed Relena as the guards left and Pagan went into a side room to grab "the table" all the while walking like someone has stuck a hanger up his ass and he couldn't quite walk correctly after the handicap. He returned a moment with a long table with many various locks on it like the ones on the chairs only there were a lot more. "There goes our only chance of survival." Proclaimed Duo from his chair. "Maybe not." Said the optimistic Quatre from the chair next to Duo's. "The chances of us getting out of this at this point is about 0 to 100. Heero should have…" Trowa continued talking about the tactics they SHOULD have used but was obviously quoting some person or another from the chair next to Quatre. The chair next to him was going to be for Heero but that was obviously not enough for him so it was left alone. Wufei, who was currently mumbling something about Justice as usual, because well, that's Wufei for you, occupied the chair next to that. "Pagan, summon 4 workers." Demanded Relena. Pagan did as he was told and 4 tall guys dressed in black suits and wearing sunglasses entered the room awaiting orders from Relena. "Two of you, get that boy up on the table," she said as she pointed to Heero, "and get him strapped in. The other two of you I would like to put the mind control beanies on all of them." The men were silent as they did their work and only did as they were told. When they tried to put the beanies on the pilots that were awake however, they had a bit of trouble. Duo was first and as soon as one of them came near to him with one of the `funny hats' he kicked him squarely in the nuts. The man doubled over on the floor in pain while Duo laughed at him his partner came over to see what was the problem. He quickly noticed the problem and attempted the same act as his partner with the same results. The other two had managed to drag Heero up onto the table and strap in the proper restraints with the beanie on with no problems because he was totally knocked out. They came over to the two guys on the floor after seeing the second one's fate they reconsidered directly trying to place the beanie on him so he went off and found some duct tape and taped his feet to the chair from behind. Duo complained that it "wasn't fair" and tried to free his feet while the beanie was placed on his head. The other pilots would have put up a similar struggle but their feet were taped immediately and the beanies placed firmly on their heads. "Step two complete. Thank you gentlemen. Now please take all their weapons off of them and place them in a pile there. (She was pointing to the floor nearby). I'm not taking any chances of this operation failing." The guys bowed and followed their orders. The extracted a considerable amount of weapons from Duo, Trowa, Quatre, and Wufei consisting of things like knives, bombs, frying pans, a scythe, an assortment of guns and swords, clubs, Swiss Army knives, throwing knives, toothpicks, crowbars, bows and arrows, and the most dangerous weapon known to man, chibis. Heero however had a pile twice as big as the other and had double (at least) of everything the others had and more, like a large rock. Please refrain from asking how or where he had that rock. Please. Anyways… Once again then something strange and interesting happened. Relena's band of cheerleaders busted down the LOCKED door and started obnoxiously cheering "Go Relena, Go!" over and over until the end of time and eventually this even became monotonous to the queen of the world and they were sent away but there were there right now and it's kinda funny so they're in the story. All right? Now we shall continue to something more important at the moment. Like the procession of Relena's plan. "Pagan, activate the mind control beanies!" Demanded Relena of her nutcracker man that called himself her butler. "Yes Miss Relena." Answered nutcracker man. Pagan walked over (doing his funny little walk) to another table and grabbed a small remote control with a single red button on it. He picked it up and pushed the button on it and the funny yellow hats on the Gundam pilot's heads started to blink with multicolored lights. Then after a minute the Gundam pilots' eyes got all spiny and they started chanting together in a monotone voice, "no killing, no killing..." over and over. However Wufei being as he is he continued to chant that in his own language saying "Justice, justice, justice…." And also continued this over and over. Now if you remember correctly, Heero was both heavily restrained and completely knocked out. But like I said, he's not a normal person and he is supposedly the "perfect soldier" (witch we all know is impossible because no one is perfect) and he can't give up killing all that easily so HE was continually SAYING (not chanting) Must…. Resist…. Must…. Resist…. But this was all really futile because the mind control beanies were just that. They take over your brain no matter who or what or what state you are in and make you become a pacifist, like Relena. Because guess who invented them? Yes that evil criminal mastermi- oh wait this is Relena; sorry let me try that again. Yes, that evil… queen of the world (Relena never does anything bad, this sucks for trying to make her look evil) Relena Peacecraft. She made the beanies for this purpose. She didn't like having all the killing the Gundam pilots were creating so she made these beanies and set them so they would allow the Gundam pilots to FIGHT but not kill. Just like she planed for Endless Waltz. Because if you pay very close attention you will catch that they said no one died except Marimea's head Boy Scout. (Piece of advice for Marimea: When trying to take over the world and strike fear into the hearts of all who oppose you, do not hire boy scouts, it's not very effective.) And this is the real story behind the fact. No lies. Now please forgive my interruption and allow me to resume the story. Heero soon joined in with the others chanting "no killing, no killing…" over and over. After about two hours of this Relena decided the beanies had served their purpose and let all of the pilots go. They of course didn't remember a thing because the beanies also make you forget that you ever wore them. I almost forgot to mention that within the two hours Zecks showed up and Noin forced a beanie on him as well. So Zecks was now like the rest of them. Also Dorothy Catalonia showed up and simply mocked Relena as always and then proceeded to take a few picture of this for blackmail purposes on later dates. (The `dates' may be interpreted as however you want. It's funny both ways.) And that is the real and true story of why no one died in Endless Waltz. By: Kaze Taka