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January, 2000


Dedicated to my daughter, Lauren.




Lauren has suffered with severe depression since the age of 12 to age 18. I made this page for her when she had to be hospitalized on Jan. 1, 2000... she had become suicidal and spent 10 days in the hospital trying to get her medications regulated. Two weeks after her release, she attempted suicide and I know the angels were surrounding my child that night, or we would have lost her. She spent another 13 days in the hospital. Many people feel at a loss when dealing with someone with bi-polar disorder or depression. I realize after years of fighting this battle myself, and having 2 children that also fight severe depression each day of their lives, that it's not only the depressed person who suffers, but also everyone that is close to them. A lot of people don't seem to understand why a person in this situation can't just pick themselves up and get on with their lives, but it's not that simple, especially when a chemical imbalance in the brain is causing the problem. For these people, I beg you, if you have loved ones or friends in this situation, please do research on depression so you can better understand what is happening and enable you to help your loved one. I've had many people stop at this page, and many writing me that they feel if they start taking medication or talk to their family about the problem, that they'll be labeled as being crazy. Depression is nothing to be ashamed of and not something to suffer through alone. It's an illness like any other illness, so please reach out to someone you love...a family member, a trusted friend, a teacher...don't try to fight the battle alone... seek medical attention, and educate yourself and hopefully your loved ones. Remember, depression doesn't make you a weak person. It's an illness and there is help out there if you truly want it. We'll continue to take one day at a time, knowing it's not an easy battle, but it's a battle that we will win :)

I receive many emails regarding this page and many asking how Lauren is doing. Things were going along fairly well for months...we'll always have the ups and downs...but the roller coaster during these months didn't go quite so high and plummet quite so quickly. I think Lauren was feeling much better, and to be perfectly honest, I think she just basically stopped being careful as far as taking her meds. She started skipping doses, forgetting to take them for a couple days at a time...and we didn't realize this was happening until the night of September 13, 2000 when I received a call from the hospital. Lauren was in the Intensive Care Unit. She had overdosed on prescription drugs, and was in and out of consciousness for several days. When she was able to talk things out, she told me how she had thought about dying and just couldn't seem to pull herself off that course, but after she took the pills, it was then that she realized she really wanted to live. These were the first really encouraging words I had heard in the last several years. She's again back on her meds with a much better understanding of the importance of taking them as they are prescribed. I'm writing all of this in detail in the hopes that it may help someone who is thinking about stopping their meds without speaking to their doctor first. These medications are not like tylenol. There are many you need to come off of very slowly, and just because you're feeling better doesn't mean you can just stop them. It is so important to stay in touch with your doctor so you can be monitored if and when it's time for you to stop the meds. I don't in any way profess to be a doctor. I'm a mom who loves her children very much and has lived through this for years now.

One thing that I've learned since doing this page is that many, many people suffering with this illness don't have the support of family or friends. I've received letters from teenagers who are having real problems with no support system and it breaks my heart. If we all take a look around us, we'll see that most of us know at least one person who suffers with depression and we're seeing more and more of it each day. It's so important that everyone take the time to learn more about this illness. You could be the one person who makes a real difference in someone's life.



~ I Believe ~
We Never Walk Alone




I believe for every drop of rain that falls,
a flower grows

I believe that somewhere in the darkest night,
a candle glows

I believe for everyone who goes astray
someone will come to show the way

I believe, I believe




I believe above the storm
the smallest prayer will still be heard

I believe that someone, in the great somewhere,
hears every word

Every time I hear a newborn baby cry

or touch a leaf

or see the sky

Then I know why





~ I Believe ~




I Believe

When you walk through a storm

Hold your head up high,

And don't be afraid of the dark.




At the end of the storm

Is a golden sky,

And the sweet silver song of the lark.




Walk on through the wind.

Walk on through the rain.

Though your dreams be tossed and blown.




Walk on,

Walk on,

With hope in your heart,

And you'll never walk alone.

You'll never walk alone.

~ I Believe ~




I believe in miracles and dreams that will come true.

I believe in tender moments and friendship, through and through.

I believe in stardust and moonbeams all aglow.

I believe there's magic and more there than we know.

I believe in reaching out and touching from the heart.

I believe that if we touch, a gift we can impart.

I believe that if you cry, your tears are not in vain.

And when you're sad and lonely, others will know your pain.

I believe that when we laugh a sparkle starts to shine.

And I just know that spark will spread from more hearts than just mine.

I believe that hidden in the quiet of the night,
There's magic moths and gypsies, a fairy and a sprite.

I believe that if you dance the dances of your heart,
that greater happiness will find a brand new way to start.

I believe the gifts you have, are there for you to share.
And when you give from the heart, the whole world knows you care.

I believe that if you give, even just to one,
that gift will grow in magnitude, before the day is done.

I believe that comfort comes from giving part of me,
and if I share with others, there's more for all to see.

I believe that love is still the greatest gift of all,
and when it's given from the heart, then not one of us will fall.





~ I Believe ~




Believe in your heart that something

wonderful is about to happen.

Love your life.

Believe in your own powers,

and your own potential,

and in your own innate goodness.

Wake every morning with the

awe of just being alive.




Discover each day the magnificent,

awesome beauty in the world.

Explore and embrace life in yourself

and in everyone you see each day.

Reach within to find your own specialness.




Amaze yourself and rouse those around

you to the potential of each new day.

Don't be afraid to admit that you are

less than perfect; this is the essence

of your humanity.




Let those who love you help you.

Trust enough to be able to take.

Look with hope to the horizon of today,

for today is all we truly have.




Live this day well.

Let a little sun out as well as in.

Create your own rainbows.




Be open to all your possibilities;

all possibilities and Miracles.

Always believe in Miracles




~ I Believe ~




To believe is to know that every day

is a new beginning.

It is to trust that miracles happen,

and dreams really do come true.




To believe is to see angels

dancing among the clouds,

To know the wonder of a stardust sky

and the wisdom of the man in the moon.




To believe is to know the value

of a nurturing heart,

The innocence of a child's eyes

and the beauty of an aging hand,

for it is through their teachings

we learn to love.




To believe is to find the strength

and courage that lies within us,

When it is time to pick up the pieces and begin again.




To believe is to know we are not alone,

That life is a gift and this is our time

to cherish it.




To believe is to know that wonderful surprises

are just waiting to happen,

And all our hopes and dreams are within reach.




~ If Only We Believe ~





This beautiful Warrior Angel was
sent to Lauren from a very special friend.
Thank you Believe :)




The following words were sent to me
by another very special friend ~ Dreamer ~




"All I can say to you, my friend, is Believe

and never give up...

When all seems lost,

Hold on just a little tighter.

Know and believe the angels are being flown

around your child...and you.

Believe, when you seem to weary to face another tomorrow

the angels will lift you up

and help you make that first step.

Also know that they will always help Lauren

to find her way to safety and peace.

Believe that they form a circle of love

and protection around your little girl.

Believe that it is them who will show her

the beauty of many tomorrows.

Hold tight...then hold even tighter

and never give up.

I fly the angels this night and every night

to comfort and hold you close.

Find Peace in their arms.

You are loved.

Lauren is loved.

and with love, there is nothing

that is impossible...Nothing...

The power of love is the most powerful

force on earth and in the heavens."




~ If Only We Believe ~




Beautiful words sent from another very special friend.
Thank you Sioux for the love and care you've shown.
You've touched our lives in a very special way.




Tell Lauren to shine like the sun.

May her spirit soar where the eagles fly

and may her soul be refreshed as the morning dew

refreshes the flowers of beauty,

the trees and the grass which covers Mother Earth,

and to live each day as though it is her last.


There are no promises for tomorrow...

but there is today!!!!

MAY THE LORD PROTECT HER

AND GIVE YOU BOTH THE STRENGTH TO WELCOME

EACH NEW DAY WITH A RENEWED SPIRIT.




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To Lauren's ~ Through the Years ~ Page




~ INDEX OF PAGES ~


[Homepage]      [Index2]
[Touch Me]
[Dear Mister Jesus]
Abuse Through The Eyes Of A Child
[Angel By My Side]~ The Prayer ~
Celine Dion/Andrea Bocelli]
[An Irish Blessing]
by Roma Downey
[The Awakening]      [Anticipation]
[Wings Of Distant Beauty]
[Elusive Butterfly Of Love]
[Fly, Fly, Precious One
[Island Dream]
[Desiderata]
[The Hypnotic Rose]
[When Tomorrow Starts Without Me]
[Parable Of The Rose]
[She Walks In Beauty]
[Comes The Dawn & Beauty Of A Woman]
[Soaring With The Angels]
[Little Eyes Upon You]
[From This Moment On]
[Emerald Leaves]
Enchanting Fairie Child
[Fields Of Gold]
[Can't Live..If Living Is Without You]
[Dance Of The Fairies]





sunkissed@hotmail.com






Music playing: ~You'll Never Walk Alone~
Richard Rodgers, Oscar Hammerstein II




First Song ~I Believe~
1953~Words & Music by: Ervin Drake,
Irvin Graham, Jimmy Shirl, Al Stillman
Performed by: Frankie Laine

Artists of the remaining poetry
are unknown to me.





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December 4, 2000


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