My Young Years

<body topmargin=0 leftmargin=0 marginheight=0 marginwidth=0> <table cellpadding=0 cellspacing=0 border=0><tr> <td valign="top" rowspan="2" width=210 BGCOLOR="#9999FF" TEXT="#080000" bgproperties="fixed" background="06a76ba3.gif"> <div> Ginger at 8 months</div> <div> <IMG SRC="0538c9d0.jpg" border=0 width="140" height="157" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></div> <div> <IMG SRC="07e62b50.gif" border=0 width="98" height="181" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></div> <div> <B>WHAT KIND OF FOOL (DUET</B></div> <div> <B>There was a time when</B></div> <div> <B>we were down and out</B><FONT SIZE="3" COLOR="#000066" FACE="Arial" ><B> </B></FONT></div> <div> <B>There was a place when we were starting over</B></div> <div> <B>We let the bough break</B><FONT SIZE="3" COLOR="#000066" FACE="Arial" ><B> </B></FONT></div> <div> <B>We let the heartache in</B><FONT SIZE="3" COLOR="#000066" FACE="Arial" ><B> </B></FONT></div> <div> <B>Who's sorry now</B><FONT SIZE="3" COLOR="#000066" FACE="Arial" ><B> </B></FONT></div> <div> <B>Who's sorry now</B><FONT SIZE="3" COLOR="#000066" FACE="Arial" ><B> </B></FONT></div> <bR> <div> <B>There was a world when we were standing still</B><FONT SIZE="3" COLOR="#000066" FACE="Arial" ><B> </B></FONT></div> <div> <B>And for a moment we were separated</B><FONT SIZE="3" COLOR="#000066" FACE="Arial" ><B> </B></FONT></div> <div> <B>And then you found her</B><FONT SIZE="3" COLOR="#000066" FACE="Arial" ><B> </B></FONT></div> <div> <B>You let the stranger in</B><FONT SIZE="3" COLOR="#000066" FACE="Arial" ><B> </B></FONT></div> <bR> <div> <B>Who's sorry now</B><FONT SIZE="3" COLOR="#000066" FACE="Arial" ><B> </B></FONT></div> <div> <B>Who's sorry now</B><FONT SIZE="3" COLOR="#000066" FACE="Arial" ><B> </B></FONT></div> <div> <B>What , what kind of fool</B><FONT SIZE="3" COLOR="#000066" FACE="Arial" ><B> </B></FONT></div> <div> <B>Tears it apart</B><FONT SIZE="3" COLOR="#000066" FACE="Arial" ><B> </B></FONT></div> <div> <B>Leaving me pain and sorrow</B><FONT SIZE="3" COLOR="#000066" FACE="Arial" ><B> </B></FONT></div> <bR> <div> <B>Losing you now</B><FONT SIZE="3" COLOR="#000066" FACE="Arial" ><B> </B></FONT></div> <div> <B>Wonderin’ why</B><FONT SIZE="3" COLOR="#000066" FACE="Arial" ><B> </B></FONT></div> <div> <B>Where will I be tomorrow</B><FONT SIZE="3" COLOR="#000066" FACE="Arial" ><B> </B></FONT></div> <bR> <div> <B>Forever more that’s what we are to be</B><FONT SIZE="3" COLOR="#000066" FACE="Arial" ><B> </B></FONT></div> <div> <B>Without each other</B><FONT SIZE="3" COLOR="#000066" FACE="Arial" ><B> </B></FONT></div> <div> <B>We’ll be remembering when...</B><FONT SIZE="3" COLOR="#000066" FACE="Arial" ><B> </B></FONT></div> <bR> <div> <B>There was a time when we were down and out</B><FONT SIZE="3" COLOR="#000066" FACE="Arial" ><B> </B></FONT></div> <div> <B>There was a place when we were starting over</B><FONT SIZE="3" COLOR="#000066" FACE="Arial" ><B> </B></FONT></div> <div> <B>We let the bough break</B><FONT SIZE="3" COLOR="#000066" FACE="Arial" ><B> </B></FONT></div> <div> <B>We let the heartache in</B><FONT SIZE="3" COLOR="#000066" FACE="Arial" ><B> </B></FONT></div> <div> <B>Who's sorry now</B><FONT SIZE="3" COLOR="#000066" FACE="Arial" ><B> </B></FONT></div> <div> <B>Who's sorry now</B><FONT SIZE="3" COLOR="#000066" FACE="Arial" ><B> </B></FONT></div> <bR> <div> <B>What , what kind of fool</B><FONT SIZE="3" COLOR="#000066" FACE="Arial" ><B> </B></FONT></div> <div> <B>What , what kind of fool</B></div> <div> <B>Tears it apart</B><FONT SIZE="3" COLOR="#000066" FACE="Arial" ><B> </B></FONT></div> <div> <B>Tears it apart</B><FONT SIZE="3" COLOR="#000066" FACE="Arial" ><B> </B></FONT></div> <div> <B>Leaving me pain and sorrow</B><FONT SIZE="3" COLOR="#000066" FACE="Arial" ><B> </B></FONT></div> <div> <B>Oh! Losing you now</B><FONT SIZE="3" COLOR="#000066" FACE="Arial" ><B> </B></FONT></div> <div> <B>How can I win</B><FONT SIZE="3" COLOR="#000066" FACE="Arial" ><B> </B></FONT></div> <div> <B>Where will I be tomorrow</B><FONT SIZE="3" COLOR="#000066" FACE="Arial" ><B> </B></FONT></div> <bR> <div> <B>Was there a moment when I cut you down (No!)</B><FONT SIZE="3" COLOR="#000066" FACE="Arial" ><B> </B></FONT></div> <div> <B>Played around</B><FONT SIZE="3" COLOR="#000066" FACE="Arial" ><B> </B></FONT></div> <div> <B>What have I done</B><FONT SIZE="3" COLOR="#000066" FACE="Arial" ><B> </B></FONT></div> <div> <B>I only apologize</B><FONT SIZE="3" COLOR="#000066" FACE="Arial" ><B> </B></FONT></div> <bR> <div> <B>For being as they say, the last to know</B><FONT SIZE="3" COLOR="#000066" FACE="Arial" ><B> </B></FONT></div> <div> <B>It has to show</B><FONT SIZE="3" COLOR="#000066" FACE="Arial" ><B> </B></FONT></div> <bR> <div> <B>When someone is in your eyes</B><FONT SIZE="3" COLOR="#000066" FACE="Arial" ><B> </B></FONT></div> <div> <B>What, what kind of fool (What kind of fool)</B><FONT SIZE="3" COLOR="#000066" FACE="Arial" ><B> </B></FONT></div> <div> <B>Tears it apart (tears it apart)</B><FONT SIZE="3" COLOR="#000066" FACE="Arial" ><B> </B></FONT></div> <div> <B>Leaving me pain and sorrow</B><FONT SIZE="3" COLOR="#000066" FACE="Arial" ><B> </B></FONT></div> <bR> <div> <B>Ah!</B><FONT SIZE="3" COLOR="#000066" FACE="Arial" ><B> </B></FONT></div> <div> <B>Losing you now</B><FONT SIZE="3" COLOR="#000066" FACE="Arial" ><B> </B></FONT></div> <div> <B>Wondering why</B><FONT SIZE="3" COLOR="#000066" FACE="Arial" ><B> </B></FONT></div> <div> <B>Where will I be tomorrow</B><FONT SIZE="3" COLOR="#000066" FACE="Arial" ><B> </B></FONT></div> <bR> <div> <B>Losing you now (Losing you now)</B><FONT SIZE="3" COLOR="#000066" FACE="Arial" ><B> </B></FONT></div> <div> <B>How can I win (How can I win)</B><FONT SIZE="3" COLOR="#000066" FACE="Arial" ><B> </B></FONT></div> <bR> <div> <B>Where will I be tomorrow...</B><FONT SIZE="3" COLOR="#000066" FACE="Arial" ><B> </B></FONT></div> <div> <B>Together</B><FONT SIZE="3" COLOR="#000066" FACE="Arial" ><B> </B></FONT></div> <div> <B>There was a time when we were down and out</B><FONT SIZE="3" COLOR="#000066" FACE="Arial" ><B> </B></FONT></div> <div> <B>There was a place when we were starting over</B><FONT SIZE="3" COLOR="#000066" FACE="Arial" ><B> </B></FONT></div> <div> <B>We let the bough break</B><FONT SIZE="3" COLOR="#000066" FACE="Arial" ><B> </B></FONT></div> <div> <B>We let the heartache in</B><FONT SIZE="3" COLOR="#000066" FACE="Arial" ><B> </B></FONT></div> <div> <B>Who's sorry now...</B><FONT SIZE="3" COLOR="#000066" FACE="Arial" ><B> </B></FONT></div> <bR> <div> <B>Written by B.Gibb & A.Galuten</B></div> <bR> <div>   <script language="JavaScript">  </script>   </div> <bR> </td> <td valign="top" colspan=2 height=90 BGCOLOR="#99CCFF" TEXT="#080000" bgproperties="fixed" background="06b76bc1egdyqn.gif"> <div> <B>"The gift we can offer others is so simple a thing as hope"</B></div> <div> <B>Daniel Berrigan</B></div> <div> <B>Back to   </B><A HREF="index.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Home"><U><B>home</B></U></A><B>       </B><FONT SIZE="1" COLOR="#000033" FACE="Times New Roman" ><B>See list  on bottom of  pages for the rest of my story.</B></FONT></div> </td> </tr><tr> <td valign="top" height=390 colspan=2 BGCOLOR="#99CCFF" TEXT="#080000" bgproperties="fixed" background="06b76ba3.gif"> <div> <B>  My Young Years</B></div> <div> <B><IMG SRC="3c53f0a0.gif" border=0 width="575" height="10" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></B></div> <div> <I><B><U><IMG SRC="3e72f5d0.gif" border=0 width="47" height="93" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"><IMG SRC="3e72f5d0.gif" border=0 width="47" height="93" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"><IMG SRC="3e72f5d0.gif" border=0 width="47" height="93" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"><IMG SRC="3e72f5d0.gif" border=0 width="47" height="93" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"><IMG SRC="3e72f5d0.gif" border=0 width="47" height="93" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"><IMG SRC="3e72f5d0.gif" border=0 width="47" height="93" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"><IMG SRC="3e72f5d0.gif" border=0 width="47" height="93" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"><IMG SRC="3e72f5d0.gif" border=0 width="47" height="93" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"><IMG SRC="3e72f5d0.gif" border=0 width="47" height="93" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></U></B></I></div> <div> <B>I do not want to go into detail of my childhood issues here deeply or blame or use names. I will tell you I was abused and hurt a great deal growing up. I grew up feeling different, separate, stupid, not wanted, in the way, unaccented, and not loved. I know the reasons why I felt these things. However on this site I am not willing to share them all. The reasons or persons are not as important today as how much those feelings affected me until those feelings, thoughts, and behaviors changed in my recovery. </B></div> <div> <B>I have grown and learned from every experience that happened to me. Nothing has gone to waste.</B></div> <bR> <DIV ALIGN="LEFT"></DIV> <div> <B>Ginger at 2 years of age</B></div> <div> <B><IMG SRC="0556ea40.jpg" border=0 width="110" height="164" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Those feelings and thoughts about myself made me feel I was not good enough for anyone's love or acceptance. I felt scared of doing the wrong thing most of the time. I felt out of place everywhere I was at. I just didn't seem to fit in. School was no different. I was laughed at. I was made fun of and called names. I was over weight. I don't know why but I felt down deep I was not like the other children.  I just wanted to find someone who would listen to me and love me for me. I had no friends. I didn't know how to get along with other kids. I wanted to be liked. But my pushy behaviors and neediness or smothering just planned pushed kids away. I just knew everyone could see how I felt about myself. Which was ugly and not worthy. I know today that most of those feelings came from the abuse in my life. </B></div> <bR> <div> <B>There was much shaming going on all around me most of the time. I wanted to hide or run away and sometimes just die. I would of killed for the words I love you back in those days. Funny today I look at this and think I wouldn't of known what love was any way. </B></div> <bR> <DIV ALIGN="LEFT"></DIV> <div> <B>Ginger age 2 </B></div> <div> <B><IMG SRC="0567cbf0.jpg" border=0 width="124" height="191" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></B></div> <div> <B><IMG SRC="30aa0560.gif" border=0 width="160" height="86" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"><IMG SRC="30aa0560.gif" border=0 width="160" height="86" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"><IMG SRC="30aa0560.gif" border=0 width="160" height="86" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></B></div> <bR> <div> <B>I had difficulty paying attention or focusing on the task's at hand. Most of the people in my life and teachers took it, as I was bad or not paying attention. Today I know it was because of my dyslexia and abuse issues. As a result of the things that had happened to me, my feelings, my fears, and my acting out; I was taken out of my parent's home and put into my first group.</B></div> <bR> <DIV ALIGN="LEFT"></DIV> <div> <B> <p align="center"><a href="http://www.date-time.com"> <img src="http://www.date-time.com/cgi-bin/date1.pl?rrutul_9876543" alt="Todays date and Time" border="0" width="167" height="70"></a></center></p>  </B><FONT SIZE="3" COLOR="#660099" FACE="Comic Sans MS" > </FONT></div> <bR> <bR> <div> <B><IMG SRC="3c53f0a0.gif" border=0 width="575" height="10" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></B></div> <bR> <bR> <bR> <div> <B>My Guest book</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>I invite each of you to sign my guest book</B></div> <div> <B>or send me an E-mail. </B></div> <div> <B>I would like to know what you are thinking,</B></div> <div> <B>how my web site affected you, </B></div> <div> <B>what you felt when you read MY STORY, </B></div> <div> <B>and any additional comments you may have. </B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Thank you, Ginger </B></div> <bR> <div> <B><IMG SRC="3c53f0a0.gif" border=0 width="575" height="10" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></B></div> <bR> <bR> <bR> <div> <B> <CENTER><A href="http://counter47.bravenet.com/index.php?id=335923&cpv=1" target="_top"> <SCRIPT language="Javascript">  document.write('<IMG src="http://counter47.bravenet.com/counter.php?id=335923&ref='+escape(document.referrer)+'" border="0">'); </SCRIPT></A> </CENTER>  </B></div> <div> <B><IMG SRC="40473650.gif" border=0 width="115" height="101" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></B></div> <div> <A HREF="mailto:lalinda@home.com" TARGET="_top" TITLE="mailto:lalinda@home.com"><U><B>mailto:lalinda@home.com</B></U></A></div> <bR> <bR> <div> <B><IMG SRC="3c53f0a0.gif" border=0 width="575" height="10" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></B></div> <bR> <bR> <div> <A HREF="id19.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="The Foster Homes"><U><B><IMG SRC="35c65620.jpg" border=0 width="101" height="98" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></B></U></A><B>  </B><A HREF="id17.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="The Beginning"><U><B><IMG SRC="35d63620.jpg" border=0 width="99" height="98" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></B></U></A><B>  </B><B><IMG SRC="35e64620.jpg" border=0 width="100" height="98" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></B></div> <div> <B>Click on buttons above to move from page to page</B></div> <div> <B>or</B></div> <div> <B>|</B></div> <div> <B>|</B></div> <div> <B>Click any of the titles below to start:)</B></div> <bR> <div> <A HREF="id17.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="The Beginning"><U>The Beginning</U></A>   |     My Young Years   |   <A HREF="id19.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="The Foster Homes"><U>The Foster Homes</U></A>   |   <A HREF="id20.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="The Loss of my Child"><U>The Loss of my Child</U></A>   |   <A HREF="id21.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Unwed Mothers Home"><U>Unwed Mothers Home</U></A>   |   <A HREF="id22.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Empty Soul"><U>Empty Soul</U></A>   |   <A HREF="id29.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Memorial to Gingers Parents"><U>Memorial to Ginger's Parents</U></A>   |   <A HREF="id39.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Send in the Clowns"><U>Send in the Clowns</U></A>   |   <A HREF="id30.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Come and set on my Knee"><U>Come and set on my Knee</U></A>   |   <A HREF="id23.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="My Brother and Myself"><U>My Brother and Myself</U></A>   |   <A HREF="id24.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="My Recovery"><U>My Recovery</U></A>   |   <A HREF="id25.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Hello"><U>Hello</U></A>   |   <A HREF="id26.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Getting to Know You"><U>Getting to Know You</U></A>   |   <A HREF="id27.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Our Honeymoon"><U>Our Honeymoon</U></A>   |   <A HREF="id28.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Real Love Never Dies"><U>Real Love Never Dies</U></A>   |   <A HREF="id31.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Going to another Place"><U>Going to another Place</U></A>   |   <A HREF="id35.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Once Upon A Time"><U>Once Upon A Time</U></A>   |   <A HREF="id32.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="A Memorial to my Husbands Father"><U>A Memorial to my Husbands Father</U></A>   |   <A HREF="id38.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="An Ending a Beginning"><U>An Ending a Beginning</U></A>   |   <A HREF="id34.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Ode to Joy "><U>"Ode to Joy" </U></A>   |   <A HREF="id37.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="My Familys Pictures "><U>My Family's  Pictures </U></A>   |   <A HREF="id45.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Links, Search Engines"><U>Links, Search Engines</U></A>   |   <A HREF="id46.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Birthmothers in Faith "><U>Birthmothers in Faith </U></A>   |   <A HREF="id47.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="A Tribute to my Only Son"><U>A Tribute to my Only Son</U></A>   |   <A HREF="id62.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="My Sweet Aunt Jorja"><U>My Sweet Aunt Jorja</U></A>   |   <A HREF="id63.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="My Sweet Daughter Jacquie"><U>My Sweet Daughter Jacquie</U></A></div> <bR> <div>  Back to  <A HREF="index.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Home"><U>home</U></A></div> <bR> <bR> <div> <B><IMG SRC="3c53f0a0.gif" border=0 width="575" height="10" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></B></div> <bR> <bR> <div> <A HREF="http://whatiscopyright.org/" TARGET="_top" TITLE="http://whatiscopyright.org/"><U><IMG SRC="18eb2240.gif" border=0 width="178" height="36" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></U></A></div> <div> <B>Dancing In the Fire of Reunion is owned by Ginger. </B></div> <div> <B> You may not reproduce any of my stories, my poems</B></div> <div> <B>or my pictures in part or in whole without the </B></div> <div> <B>express written permission of Ginger.</B></div> <div> <B>Please e-mail me if you want something off my site:)</B></div> <bR> <bR> <bR> <div> <B><IMG SRC="3c53f0a0.gif" border=0 width="575" height="10" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></B></div> <bR> <bR> <div> <B><IMG SRC="3e1ba2d0.gif" border=0 width="186" height="45" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" 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