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Welcome to...Wheel...of...Fortune...!
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It was closing in on airing time on The Wheel of Fortune that Monday night. The stage was being set up while the six contestants were backstage rolling dice for their order onstage.
Richard Kruspe and Oliver Riedel were rolling first. Richard threw the dice, but ended up throwing too hard. The little plastic cubes whacked Pat Sajak in the side of the head.
"Whoops," Richard said softly, hiding his blushing face. The others were laughing at him.
Pat handed Oliver the dice. "It's all right," he assured Richard while rubbing his head. Olli smiled as he threw the dice.
Pat looked over the result. "11," he reported. The others groaned.
Paul Landers and Christoph Schneider were rolling next.
"Let ME do it!" Paul begged. Schneider shook his head and rolled the dice.
"YOU'RE NO FAIR!" Paul yelled. Pat yelled out the number, "5."
"FIVE? FIVE?!" Paul screeched. "I TOLD YOU TO LET ME ROLL, YOU FUCKING FREAK!!" Schneider merely smiled, not hearing Paul through semi-deaf ears.
Till Lindemann grabbed the dice. He handed them to Flake Lorenz. "Roll," he ordered. Flake rolled.
"9," Pat said aloud. Flake cheered for himself. Paul brooded over his own loss.
"Now, go take your places onstage," Pat told them. Vanna White walked up to meet her co-star as they would walk onstage together, as they always did.
"WHEEL...OF...FORTUNE!" screamed the audience.
RAMMS+EIN waited patiently onstage as the audience cheered and clapped and the show started airing.
After Pat?s little introduction, he walked over to the wheel and was about to introduce the contestants.
"Our contestants today are the members of the German metal band RAMMS+EIN," Pat started, and the audience screamed. Richard noticed most of them were fans, decked out in their RAMMS+EIN T-shirts and whatever. Someone wore a shirt with the number 231 on it. Richard smiled.
"Our first duo are Right Guitarist Richard Kruspe and bassist Oliver Riedel!" Pat continued. More screaming. Someone called out, "231!"
"So, Richard," Pat looked to Richard. "What charity are you playing for tonight?"
"Ve're playing for ze Feed Flocka Foundation," Richard started.
"All ze money ve vin ve are going to send to ze FFF in hopes zat Flake vill receive the nourishment he so desperately needs!" Oliver finished. The audience cheered. Flake protested.
"You guys suck!" he called out to them.
"All right," Pat smiled. "Now for our next contestants, vocalist Till Lindemann and keyboardist Flake Lorenz."
The audience screamed some more. Someone yelled, "HEIRATE MICH, TILL!" and someone else shouted, "DANCE FLAKE DANCE!"
"What charity are you two playing for tonight?" Pat asked.
"Ve are playing for ze Save Ze Chickens Fund," Flake said. He smiled.
"There is no such thing, you Arsch!" Till yelled. He was just about to smack him, but Pat stopped him.
"Okay. What charity are you really playing for?" he asked.
"Our vinnings are going to the Little Orphans Fund, vhere little children vere abandoned by zeir no good parents!" Till yelled. "ZOSE LITTLE CHILDREN HAVE NOVHERE TO LIVE! I MUST SAVE ZEM!!" He pounded his chest.
"Sorry," Flake said. "He's a little bitter. He has zree children of his own. And he's also trying to get people to believe he loves somezing ozer zan himself."
"I see," Pat said. "To the Little Orphans Fund!" The crowd cheered. Then he turned to Paul and Schneider.
"And our final contestants are Left Guitarist Paul Landers and drummer Christoph Schneider," Pat announced. Cheers for them. "What charity will you be playing for?"
"VE HAVE TO PLAY FOR A CHAIRTY?" Paul screamed in horror. "I didn't know zat!"
Schneider sighed. "Ve are playing for ze Center for Underprivileged Children. Zey vill be taught to look, act, and be just like me, for I am perfect."
"Good choice! Now, on with our first round!" Pat called. The screens on the board lit up. "The category is Thing."
The board looked like this:
_ _ _-_ _ _ _ _ _-_ _ _
"Richard and Oliver, your spin."
Richard grabbed the wheel and spun for all he was worth. The thing almost flew off the base. Pat's eyes widened.
"That should be a record!" he remarked.
"BIG MONEY BIG MONEY!" Richard screeched happily, imitating the contestants he had seen on TV. When the wheel finally stopped, it landed on $3,500. People screamed like crazy.
"I'll take...a T," Oliver called.
"There are three T's," Pat said. The fans went wild. Three spaces lit up and Vanna touched them to show the letter.
T _ _-T _ _ _ T _-_ _ _
Their score was $10,500.
"I'll spin," Richard said, spinning the wheel again, as hard as before. It eventually landed on Free Spin. Richard started yelling at it.
"I said big money, you stupid vheel!" he said, banging a fist against the platform he stood behind.
"Shut up, Richard," Olli told him. Richard pouted but kept quiet. "I'll take an H."
"There's one H," Pat said, and Vanna turned the letters. Olli picked up the Free Spin.
T _ _- T H _ _ T _-_ _ _
Richard bent to spin again but Olli stopped him. "I'd like to buy a vowel."
"Go ahead!" Pat smiled.
"I'd like to buy an A."
The buzzer sounded and Richard started to beat Olli for that. When Pat asked if they'd like to use the Free Spin, Olli said Nein before Richard said Ja, so the turn was gone and Richard continued to beat Olli further. Their score went down $250 to $10,250.
"Till and Flake, it's your turn," Pat announced. Till spun. It almost broke.
"Whoa," Pat muttered. "With these two, I hope the wheel holds up..."
The wheel landed on $500. "Ve'll take an S," Flake called. The buzzer sounded.
"Oh me-yan!" Flake whined.
"Shut up," Till growled.
"Paul and Schneider, it's your turn," Pat called. Paul spun. He hopped and clapped until it landed on Bankrupt. Then he started crying his fake sob. Schneider whacked the back of his head.
"Hey!" Paul yelled, smacking him back.
?Richard and Olli, it?s your turn again.?
?Ja!? Richard cried. He spun fiercely.
The wheel landed on $900. Olli said, ?I?ll take an N!?
?There is one N,? Pat said, smiling some more. He turned as Vanna turned the letter.
T _ _-T H _ _ T _-_ N _
Their score was now $11,150.
?I?d like to buy an O,? Olli said. Flake was getting nervous.
?There are two O?s,? Pat said.
The board now read T _ O-T H _ _ T _-O N _
Their score decreased by $250 and became $10,900.
Richard spun again, landing on Lose A Turn.
?Would you like to use your Free Spin?? Pat asked. Richard yelled first, ?Ja!? He handed over the piece of cardboard and spun again.
The wheel stopped on $350. Olli shouted, ?R!?
Richard started rolling his tongue (the R sound) as a single box lit up. Vanna clicked it.
T _ O-T H _ R T _-O N _
Now their money was up to $11,250.
?I?d like to buy an E,? Olli said. Richard started clicking his fingers on the platform he stood behind.
?There is one E,? Pat told him. $250 later the scoreboard read $11,000.
T _ O-T H _ R T _-O N E
?OH I KNOW IT!!? Richard suddenly screamed. Paul groaned. Olli sighed, muttering, ?Ve could have gone for more money!?
?Yes Richard?? Pat asked.
?TWO ZIRTY ONE! 231!? Richard yelled happily. When the music played and the whole board lit up, he was ecstatic. He hopped around and hugged Olli.
The score for their team was $11,000. Everyone else had nothing.
?Here?s the next puzzle, the clue is People.? The board lit up again and Till grabbed the wheel, it being his turn.
The board read _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
The wheel landed on the prize spot, which was an exercise bike. Flake started laughing, muttering something about Till being overweight. Till kicked his shin and let him choose the letter.
?B?? he managed to say.
?B?!? Till cried. ?YOU DUMBASS!!?
?There are?two B?s!? Pat announced. The board lit up. And Till?s hand (about to smack Flake) stopped in midair to stare at the puzzle board in awe.
_ _ _ B _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ B _ _ _
Till spun again, having won the prize. The wheel landed on $250.
?T,? Flake said, regaining control.
?There are two T?s,? Pat called. Till and Flake gained $500.
T _ _ B _ _ _ _ T _ _ _ T B _ _ _
?I?d like to buy an E,? Flake said as Till bent to spin.
?Hey!? Till yelled. ?I MAKE ZE DECISIONS AROUND HERE!!?
Flake?s face lit up. ?I ahm heeyah!?
Pat said, ?There are three E?s.?
T _ E B _ _ _ _ T _ E E T B _ _ _
?Ve?ll spin,? Flake said. Till spun. A light blew out from his force.
?Ah hah! I am strong!? he thundered.
It landed on $1,000. Flake called out, ?H!?
?There is one H.?
T H E B _ _ _ _ T _ E E T B _ _ _
Their score was now $1,250. Till spun again. This time he landed on Lose A Turn. He turned to Flake and started yelling, ?ZAT VAS ALL YOUR FAULT!!? Flake ignored him.
Paul spun without paying any attention to anything anyone else was saying to him. He watched the wheel land on the $10,000 spot. He screamed.
?I VON I VON!!? he was yelling, jumping around.
?Not yet, Paul,? Schneider said through grit teeth.
?Oh,? Paul said, calming down a little. ?Vhen??
?I?ll take?an S!? Schneider called. He was thinking of his own name.
?S is a dumb letter! No S!? Paul yelled.
?There are two S?s,? Pat said. Paul?s jaw dropped.
Schneider picked up the $10,000 piece as Vanna turned the letters.
T H E B _ _ _ S T _ E E T B _ _ S
?Ve?ll spin!? Paul announced happily as he spun the wheel again. It landed on $400.
?Ze fuck?? Paul screeched. ?$400 SUCKS!?
?Shut up, Paul,? Schneider hissed. ?R!?
Richard started rolling his R again, followed by Till doing the same, Olli groaning and Flake raising his eyebrows.
?There is one R,? Pat said.
T H E B _ _ _ S T R E E T B _ _ S
?I know this one, Schneider!? Paul whispered. Schneider ignored him. ?I?d like to buy an O.?
?YOU ASSHOLE! I SAID I KNEW IT!? Paul screamed, turning red with anger.
?There is one O?Paul, please watch your language!? Pat called. Paul crossed his arms and let out a ?Humph!?
T H E B _ _ _ S T R E E T B O _ S
Paul and Schneider were down to $150 because of Schneider?s idiotic move, but this time Paul called out first. ?I?ll solve!?
?Yes??
?Ze Backstreet Boys!?
The lights flashed and happy music played. Paul and Schneider were awarded that $10,000 (as Paul proceeded to rip into Schneider) and were up to $10,150. Richard and Olli had $11,000, and Till and Flake were dead broke.
?All right, it?s time for a commercial break!? Pat said, smiling for all he was worth. ?When we return, the Jackpot Round!? Cheers.
The lights dimmed a little and everything calmed down. Pat started talking to Schneider in intelligent conversation. Paul found this ultra-boring and decided to try something else. He rushed over to the board.
?Hey, baby,? he said to Vanna, in a low, attempted seductive voice. ?You look good in zat dress, but it vould look even better on my floor??
Vanna?s eyes and mouth went wide and she started to back away from this perverted little German guy.
?Oooh, so innocent!? Paul cooed. ?I love ze innocent ones?? He started to drool.
Paul suddenly felt a tap on his shoulder. ?Vhat is it?? he snapped, turning around. Richard stared back.
?You moron, she?s married, and even if she vere single she vouldn?t fuck you!?
?You suck, Richard,? Paul sneered.
?No, you suck. Ze show?s coming back on. Get back next to Schneider.?
Paul smiled back at Vanna and winked. Then he turned to Richard and stuck his tongue out. Richard shot Vanna a sympathetic look before returning to his place onstage.
Some more music played as the audience started cheering. Pat introduced the next puzzle.
?The clue is People. Good luck! Paul and Schneider, it?s your turn.?
Paul spun, looking at the board that looked like this:
_ _ _ _ _ _ _, _ _ _ _, _ _ _ _ _ _, _ _ _ _, _ _ _ _ _, & _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
?Zat?s a big one,? he commented, not seeing how he landed on the $500 mark.
?S!? Schneider called. The board lit up.
?There is one S,? Pat said. The Jackpot went up to $5,500 and the score for Paul and Schneider to $500.
_ _ _ _ _ _ _, _ _ _ _, _ _ _ _ _ _, _ _ _ _, _ _ _ _ _, & S _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
?Ve?ll spin,? Schneider said as Paul swung his mighty arm and spun the wheel. Till started laughing.
?Oh, come on! My mother could do better!? he roared.
?Give me a break, dumbass!? Paul scowled. ?Your mother couldn?t even pick up ze free spin piece, much less spin!?
?Shut up, you little freak!? Till yelled back. While they fought, the spinner landed on $650.
?T,? Schneider said, totally ignoring the fight. Richard was hopping in excitement, Olli was taking pictures (who cares if the producers told him he should leave it backstage?), and Flake was rubbing his head as if he had developed a headache.
?There is one T,? Pat called. The Jackpot went up to $6,150 and the score to $1,150.
_ _ _ _ _ _ _, _ _ _ _, _ _ _ _ _ _, T _ _ _, _ _ _ _ _, & S _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
?I?d like to buy an E,? Schneider said, as Till jumped forward, making Paul flinch.
?There are four E?s,? Pat said. Their score dropped to $900.
_ _ _ _ _ _ _, _ _ _ _, _ _ _ _ E _, T _ _ _, _ _ _ _ E, & S _ _ _ E _ _ E _
?Ve?ll spin,? Schneider announced, hoping to get Paul to stop making obscene gestures in Till?s direction and just spin.
When Paul spun, he almost broke the wheel. Pat shook his head sadly.
?Time for a few maintenance repairs,? he muttered.
The Wheel landed on $800. The Jackpot went up to $6,950.
?R,? Schneider said. Paul glanced in Till?s direction to see his response. Till just smirked, hoping to hear the buzzer.
?There are four R?s,? Pat said with a smile. Paul cheered as his score rose to $4,100. Till slammed his fist on the platform.
?Don?t do zat, Till!? Flake finally snapped.
?Oh, shut up, you anorexic punk,? Till growled.
?Number one, I am not anorexic, number two, I am not a punk, and number zree, vhat ze hell is your problem tonight?? Flake said calmly.
Meanwhile, the board had been lit up and Paul was spinning again.
R _ _ _ _ R _, _ _ _ _, _ _ _ _ E R, T _ _ _, _ _ _ _ E, & S _ _ _ E _ _ E R
This time, Paul landed on Bankrupt. He screamed in horror. He sounded like a little girl.
?Oh, what horrible luck!? Pat said with a sad smile. Paul sniffed. Till laughed and pointed in his rudest possible fashion.
?Richard, it?s your turn,? Pat told Richard and Olli. Richard spun. Too hard perhaps, as one of the little metal prongs snapped.
Richard held it up. ?Oops. Sorry.?
Olli sighed as the Wheel landed on Jackpot.
?Jaaaaaaaa!? Richard yelled in triumph and glory.
?You may choose one letter, and then must solve the puzzle to get the cash,? Pat explained. Olli nodded.
?L,? he said after a minute?s thought.
?There are five,? Pat told him. Olli stared at the board, thinking hard.
?Ow!? Paul shrieked.
?Vhat?s vrong?? Schneider asked his partner.
?Zat fuckhead Richard just zrew ze metal zing at my head!? Paul complained. Till started to laugh.
?You deserve it, you retard!? he stated, but Flake kicked him.
?CUT IT OUT!? he yelled angrily. Till stood in shock at Flake?s strength.
Meanwhile, with seconds to go, Olli was trying to figure out the puzzle.
R _ _ _ _ R _, _ _ _ L, _ L _ _ E R, T _ L L, _ L _ _ E, & S _ _ _ E _ _ E R
Bzzzt! The buzzer sounded and Oliver banged the platform in frustration.
?Your turn,? Pat told Richard. Richard smiled and spun much softer than before.
?Gut,? Oliver sighed in relief.
It landed on $550, bringing the Jackpot to $7,500.
?D,? Olli said.
?There are two D?s,? Pat said. Richard and Olli now had $1,100.
R _ _ _ _ R D, _ _ _ L, _ L _ _ E R, T _ L L, _ L _ _ E, & S _ _ _ E _ D E R
?Wow,? Richard said. ?Zis is a tough one, isn?t it??
Pat smiled to himself, knowing the answer.
?Ve?ll buy an I,? Olli said.
?Ja, an I,? Richard repeated.
?There are four I?s,? Pat announced, as the score dropped to $850.
R I _ _ _ R D, _ _ _ L, _ L I _ E R, T I L L, _ L _ _ E, & S _ _ _ E I D E R
?Spin,? Olli said. Richard spun. Richard landed on Lose A Turn.
?Oh, mann!? he cried. Till screeched in laughter as he spun.
The spinner landed on Jackpot. All eyes turned to Flake the almighty, who smiled.
?C,? he said confidently.
?There are two C?s,? Pat said.
R I _ C _ R D, _ _ _ L, _ L I _ E R, T I L L, _ L _ _ E, & S C _ _ E I D E R
By now, Till had noticed that his name was part of it.
?Hey, look!? he shouted, pointing.
?You arse,? Paul growled. ?Till happens to be a vord, too.?
Till snorted and watched Flake think.
The buzzer sounded right as he opened his mouth to answer.
?Ahh!? he screamed. ?YOU SUCK YOU SUCK YOU SUUUUCK!!?
Pat stared at him funny. ?Spin again,? he said.
?I am very strong!? Till announced to the whole world as he spun mightily. The wheel lifted off its base and fell back into place before disaster struck. It landed on Bankrupt.
?Fuck off!? Till yelled at the wheel. Pat had long given up on his warnings to cut the profanity.
Paul spun happily, only to scream when it landed on Bankrupt as well.
?Fuck you, you stupid piece of shit vheel!? he cussed.
Vanna was trying not to laugh now, watching this whole ridiculous scene unfold. Pat was uncomfortable and close to running away from the same scene.
?Richard?it?s your turn.?
Richard spun. Richard landed on Jackpot again.
?Ja!!? he screeched happily.
?H,? Olli said. As he predicted, Pat called out, ?Two H?s.?
R I _ C H R D, _ _ _ L, _ L I _ E R, T I L L, _ L _ _ E, & S C H _ E I D E R
?Richard, Paul, Till, Oliver, Flake and Schneider!? Olli shouted proudly. But he heard a buzzer.
?Vhat ze?oh?? he muttered, realizing his mistake.
Till yelled after him, ?Richard, Olli, Paul, Till, Flake, and Schneider!?
The buzzer sounded again, showing Till made the same mistake.
?Ah fuck!? he yelled.
?Richard, Paul, Oliver, Till, Flake, and Schneider,? Schneider said softly. The music blared.
?Correct!? Pat said cheerily. ?Sorry, you guys had the wrong order!?
?I realized,? Olli mumbled.
?Stupid shithead! You should have let me vin! I am Till Lindemann!? Till yelled.
?Till, your name was up there all four letters and you still fucked it up,? Paul sneered.
?Shut the hell up, dickless,? Till growled. Pat sighed. Paul turned red.
?So vhat if it?s small?? he asked, a little uncomfortable with the subject.
Pat gave him a funny look. Vanna cracked up. Some girl in the audience screamed, ?FUCK ME PAUL!! YOU ARE MY GOD!!!!!!?
With that, Paul cheered insanely, and the audience followed. The girl almost started a strip tease but was stopped by her brother.
The scores so far were:
Richard and Oliver: $11,000
Till and Flake: $0
Paul and Schneider: $10,150
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Sudden Death and the Bonus Round
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The final round was just calling out letters, and since it was a charity, no money would be awarded (it also makes life easier for one very hard-working author!).
?This puzzle is an Event, good luck.?
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Richard started out the sequence (I?m changing the writing format for this. Try and figure it out. I tried to make it easy on you, you should understand where they missed a letter, ran out of time or fucked up the answer):
Richard: S!
S _ _ _ S _ _ _ _ _ _ _ S _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Bzzzt!
Till: R.
Bzzzt!
Paul: N.
S _ _ N S _ _ _ _ _ _ _ S _ _ _ _ _ N _ _
Bzzzt!
Oliver: T.
S _ _ N S _ _ _ T _ _ _ S _ _ _ T _ N _ _
Bzzzt!
Flake: E.
S E _ N S _ _ _ T _ _ E S _ _ _ T _ N _ _
Bzzzt!
Schneider: D.
Bzzzt!
Oliver: M.
S E _ N S _ _ _ T _ _ E S _ _ _ T _ N _ M
Bzzzt!
Till: L!
S E _ N S _ _ _ T _ _ E S _ L _ T _ N _ M
Bzzzt!
Paul: H!
S E H N S _ _ H T _ _ E S _ L _ T _ N _ M
Paul: Uhh, Paul Landers is cool?
Bzzzt!
Schneider: You dumbass!
Richard: A.
S E H N S _ _ H T _ _ E S _ L A T _ N _ M
Richard: ?231!
Olli: Damn it, Richard!
Bzzzt!
Flake: K.
Bzzzt!
Till: K?! You are stupid, Flake!
Flake: Can you spell phosphoglyceraldehyde?
Till: Uhh?PHO?S?oh, fuck it.
Schneider: C.
S E H N S _ C H T _ _ E S _ L A T _ N _ M
Schneider: Damn it, I know ze first vord!
Bzzzt!
Olli: Um?P?
S E H N S _ C H T _ _ E S P L A T _ N _ M
Olli: OH! I KNOW IT! Sehnsucht Goes Platinum!!
The music played and the crowds went wild as the letters all turned to show the puzzle, Sehnsucht Goes Platinum.
?Ze perfect event,? Olli smiled.
?Ve are rich!? Paul squealed.
?Ve are cool!? Richard added.
?I am strong!? Till announced for the millionth time.
?Well, our winners today are Richard and Olli, and they will be moving onto a bonus round where they are able to win themselves prizes. Till and Flake, because you lost, you will be getting $10,000 for your charity. The rest of you have gone over that amount. Richard and Olli, come this way!? Pat said in rapid-fire speech. ?Now, for the commercials!?
Paul immediately ran back to Vanna, followed closely by Richard.
?Hey baby, have you decided to komm home vith me tonight?? he asked in that stupid voice.
Vanna started giggling violently, not sure why. Richard stared at her as she ran offstage.
?Vhat did you do to her, Paul?? he asked the little man.
?Nozing. She loves me,? Paul answered. Richard sighed and moved back to the bonus round area, where Olli watched the men set up the little board with the prize letters W H E E L on it.
Sooner than before, the show started back again. Pat went through the prizes, $25,000, a Corvette, a trip to Paris and a boat, a cruise in Alaska for two people, and some 24 karat gold pieces, which were very shiny and very pretty.
?Try not to get ze Paris trip,? Richard told Olli who was choosing a letter.
?Choose L, for Lindemann!? Till yelled from somewhere backstage.
?Choose L, for Losers!? Paul yelled after him.
Olli chose H, for Haha, We Won.
After the audience stopped laughing at his little joke, the puzzle was given.
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
?It?s the title of a movie. Now, we will give you the letters R S T L N E , and Vanna, show them where they are!?
Vanna moved lightly, pushing the TVs to show the letters.
_ R _ _ _ _ S _ T _ L L _ _ _ N
Olli was to choose three more consonants and a vowel, so he did so, with Richard?s help.
?Um, D?M, F, and?O,? Olli called.
Vanna moved again and revealed this:
F R O M D _ S _ T _ L L D _ _ N
?That is SO easy!? Till screamed angrily from the back. Flake kicked him again, silencing him after he screamed in pain.
?From?? Richard started, thinking of movies he liked. Then it hit him. The music video for Engel popped up in his head suddenly and he shouted it out, ?From Dusk Till Dawn!?
The music played happily and Richard started hopping around for all he was worth. Pat opened the little glitter-covered cardboard envelope and showed them their prize?the Alaska cruise. Richard screamed some more.
The other members came back out to ?congratulate? Richard and Olli. As the camera faded, Richard told them who was going on the cruise.
?Schneider and Paul, I know you two are so in love,? Richard sneered. ?So I vill give zis to you to go on ze cruise togezer!?
Schneider and Paul glared at him.
?You ass! I?m not in love vith him!? Paul yelled. ?I am not even zat desperate!?
Schneider was totally silent. He had on his usual stupid smile (which I guess is kinda cute anyway).
Pat walked over. ?So, are you gonna take the cruise or take the money it?s worth??
Richard thought it over, but Olli didn?t.
?Ve?ll take ze cruise,? he said immediately.
?Damn it, Olli! Vhat are ve gonna do vith an Alaskan cruise?!? Richard yelled, right up in Olli?s face.
?I zought you would vant to take Khira!? Olli sobbed.
?Oh. Hey, zat vould vork, vouldn?t it?? Richard said. He smiled then. ?Sure, I?ll take my daughter!?
With that, the show was officially over, and Richard went off to go sort out the details with the legal people. Everyone else marched backstage for refreshments, unknowing that Paul had spiked the soda.
THE END
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