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For many, many years scientists have been struggling to understand the vast and varied mysteries of our universe.
Many have tried, and failed, to unify the apparently conflicting theories of relativity and quantum mechanics into a single truth that would define the whole mess that is our space and time.
However, until now, that truth has remained hidden under layers of superstition and religion at one end, and scientific super-jargon at the other.
The theory itself is uniquely beautiful and elegant, with one central premise: the existence of supremely powerful other-dimensional beings known as "goblins".
The theory was first brought into being in Manchester, where all good things begin, by a being of the Guernsey race of Guerins as an explanation for various astrophysical phenomenon such as active galactic nuclei.
The theory, once born, was seen to be easily reducable to smaller scales, as long as the size of the goblins was variable.
As yet there is no direct evidence for the hypothesis; the goblins have been seen so far only in their effects, as intangible as the wind but just as real.
However we hope to bring you experimental breakthroughs as they happen. In honour of the Thoughts for the Day that brighten the electromagnetism lectures of many poor students, the following quote seems appropriate to the theory:
"Absence of evidence is not evidence of absence." M. Rees
"The latest news on the Hubble Space Telescope : After endless months of poor results from this high-tech satellite, scientists believe they have finally isolated the cause of the problem.
A micro-thin layer of an organic substance has been found on the 2.4-metre mirror. While astronomers are excited at the prospect of restoring the telescope to its original state, they are more interested in the thin film itself, which seems to have the same molecular structure as bubblegum and which appeared on the telescope within seconds of power up in space.
One HST project researcher, who does not want to be named, insists that in the brief few seconds the telescope was active, a dark image wearing what appeared to be a Mexican hat hovered next the telescope.
This has yet to be confirmed."
Proof supplied by The Goblin King, possibly from the highly respected and forever English Times newspaper.
Goblin bathtime fun - proof supplied by New Scientist - "Titanic duck", 7 Aug 1999, pg 25.
This website will be, when I can be bothered to write some more pages, a thesis explaining the first year of a physics degree concisely and simply from the viewpoint of one of the modern world's most earth-shattering and accurate realities.
This is not just good physics. This is the only real Theory of Everything around.
