A man was walking along a California beach and stumbled across an old lamp. He picked it up and rubbed it and out popped a genie. The genie said "OK, OK. You released me from the lamp, blah blah blah. This is the fourth time this month and I'm getting a little sick of these wishes so you can forget about three. You only get one wish!"

The man sat and thought about it for a while and said, "I've always wanted to go to Hawaii but I'm scared to fly and I get very seasick. Could you build me a bridge to Hawaii so I can drive over there to visit?"

The genie laughed and said, "That's impossible. Think of the logistics of that! How would the supports ever reach the bottom of the Pacific? Think of how much concrete...how much steel!! No, think of another wish."

Finally, he said, "I've been married and divorced four times. My wives always said that I don't care and that I'm insensitive. So, I wish that I could understand women....know how they feel inside and what they're thinking when they give me the silent treatment....know why they're crying, know what they really want when they say 'nothing'....know how to make them truly happy...."

After a tragic sailing accident, three blondes are left stranded on a desert island. After a quick search of the island, the only treasure they find is a small chest and a few coconut trees.

After several seconds of consideration, they decide to open the box and see what's inside it. As they open it, there is a a puff of smoke, and a magic genie comes out.

"I will grant you one wish each!" announces the genie, as he turns to the first blonde.

"I wish for my intelligence to be boosted by a hundred times!" yelps the lass.

"Granted!" booms the genie, and, in an impressive blue flash, the blonde becomes 100 times more intelligent, and sets to building a boat out of coconut shells. Within half an hour, she has set sail back to the mainland.

"Granted!" booms the genie, and, after an impressive red flash, the blonde sets to work fashioning a kyak out of a coconut tree. 15 minutes later, it's complete, and she sets sail to reach the mainland.

The Genie turns to the third blonde. "What do you wish for?" he asks, knowing full well what the answer will be.

"I wish to be 1,000,000 times more intelligent!" screams the young lady, and with that, in an extraordinarily impressive green flash, the blonde turns into a man, and he walks over the bridge.