Lawyers
In a murder trial, the defense attorney was cross-examining the coroner:
Attorney: Before you signed the death certificate, had you taken the pulse?
Coroner: No.
Attorney: Did you listen to the heart?
Coroner: No.
Attorney: Did you check for breathing?
Coroner: No.
Attorney: So, when you signed the death certificate, you weren't sure the man was dead, were you?
Coroner: Well, let me put it this way. The man's brain was sitting in a jar on my desk. But I guess it's possible he could be out there practicing law somewhere.
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A man rings up a lawyer to get some information, the man asks,
"How much will it cost me to ask you 3 questions?"
"$500." Replies the lawyer.
"My God," says the man, "That's a bit steep isn't it?"
"Yes it is," says the lawyer, "And what is your third question?"
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