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"A Christmas Carol"
Mind! I don't mean to say that I know, of my own knowledge,
what there is particularly dead about a door-nail. I might have
been inclined, myself, to regard a coffin-nail as the deadest
piece of ironmongery in the trade. But the wisdom of our
ancestors is in the simile; and my unhallowed hands
shall not disturb it, or the Country's done for. You will
therefore permit me to repeat, emphatically, that Marley was as
dead as a door-nail.
Scrooge knew he was dead? Of course he did. How could it be
otherwise? Scrooge and he were partners for I don't know how many
years. Scrooge was his sole executor, his sole administrator, his sole
assign, his sole residuary legatee, his sole friend, and sole mourner.
And even Scrooge was not so dreadfully cut up by the sad event, but
that he was an excellent man of business on the very day of the
funeral, and solemnised it with an undoubted bargain.
The mention of Marley's funeral brings me back to the point I
started from. There is no doubt that Marley was dead. This must be
distinctly understood, or nothing wonderful can come of the story I am
going to relate. If we were not perfectly convinced that Hamlet's
Father died before the play began, there would be nothing more
remarkable in his taking a stroll at night, in an easterly wind, upon
his own ramparts, than there would be in any other
middle-aged gentleman rashly turning out after dark in a breezy spot
-- say Saint Paul's Churchyard for instance -- literally to
astonish his son's weak mind.
Scrooge never painted out Old Marley's name. There it stood,
years afterwards, above the ware-house door: Scrooge and Marley. The
firm was known as Scrooge and Marley. Sometimes people new to the
business called Scrooge Scrooge, and sometimes Marley, but he answered
to both names. It was all the same to him.
Oh! But he was a tight-fisted hand at the grindstone, Scrooge! a
squeezing, wrenching, grasping, scraping, clutching, covetous old
sinner! Hard and sharp as flint, from which no steel had ever struck
out generous fire; secret, and self-contained, and solitary as an
oyster. The cold within him froze his old features, nipped his pointed
nose, shrivelled his cheek, stiffened his gait; made his eyes red, his
thin lips blue; and spoke out shrewdly in his grating voice. A frosty
rime was on his head, and on his eyebrows, and his wiry chin. He
carried his own low temperature always about with him; he iced
his office in the dog-days; and didn't thaw it one degree at
Christmas.
External heat and cold had little influence on Scrooge. No warmth
could warm, no wintry weather chill him. No wind that blew was
bitterer than he, no falling snow was more intent upon its purpose, no
pelting rain less open to entreaty. Foul weather didn't know where to
have him. The heaviest rain, and snow, and hail, and sleet, could
boast of the advantage over him in only one respect. They often
Nobody ever stopped him in the street to say, with gladsome looks,
``My dear Scrooge, how are you. When will you come to see me.'' No
beggars implored him to bestow a trifle, no children asked him what it
was o'clock, no man or woman ever once in all his life inquired the way
to such and such a place, of Scrooge. Even the blindmen's dogs
appeared to know him; and when they saw him coming on, would tug their
owners into doorways and up courts; and then would wag their
tails as though they said, ``No eye at all is better than an evil eye,
dark master! ''
But what did Scrooge care! It was the very thing he liked. To
edge his way along the crowded paths of life, warning all human
sympathy to keep its distance, was what the knowing ones call
Once upon a time -- of all the good days in the year, on
Christmas Eve -- old Scrooge sat busy in his counting-house. It
was cold, bleak, biting weather: foggy withal: and he could hear the
people in the court outside, go wheezing up and down, beating their
hands upon their breasts, and stamping their feet upon the pavement
stones to warm them. The city clocks had only just gone three, but it
was quite dark already: it had not been light all day: and candles were
flaring in the windows of the neighbouring offices, like ruddy smears
upon the palpable brown air. The fog came pouring in at every chink
and keyhole, and was so dense without, that although the court was of
the narrowest, the houses opposite were mere phantoms. To
see the dingy cloud come drooping down, obscuring everything, one might
have thought that Nature lived hard by, and was brewing on a large
scale.
The door of Scrooge's counting-house was open that he might
keep his eye upon his clerk, who in a dismal little cell
beyond, a sort of tank, was copying letters. Scrooge had a
very small fire, but the clerk's fire was so very much smaller
that it looked like one coal. But he couldn't replenish it,
for Scrooge kept the coal-box in his own room; and so surely as
the clerk came in with the shovel, the master predicted that it
would be necessary for them to part. Wherefore the clerk put
on his white comforter, and tried to warm himself at the
candle; in which effort, not being a man of a strong
imagination, he failed.
``A merry Christmas, uncle! God save you!'' cried a
cheerful voice. It was the voice of Scrooge's nephew, who came
upon him so quickly that this was the first intimation he had
of his approach.
``Bah!'' said Scrooge, ``Humbug!''
He had so heated himself with rapid walking in the fog and
frost, this nephew of Scrooge's, that he was all in a glow; his
face was ruddy and handsome; his eyes sparkled, and his breath
smoked again.
``Christmas a humbug, uncle!'' said Scrooge's nephew.
``You don't mean that, I am sure.''
``I do,'' said Scrooge. ``Merry Christmas! What right
have you to be merry? what reason have you to be merry? You're
poor enough.''
``Come, then,'' returned the nephew gaily. ``What right
have you to be dismal? what reason have you to be morose?
You're rich enough.''
Scrooge having no better answer ready on the spur of the
moment, said, ``Bah!'' again; and followed it up with
``Humbug.''
``Don't be cross, uncle,'' said the nephew.
``What else can I be,'' returned the uncle, ``when I
live in such a world of fools as this Merry Christmas! Out
upon merry Christmas. What's Christmas time to you but a time
for paying bills without money; a time for finding
yourself a year older, but not an hour richer; a time for
balancing your books and having every item in 'em through a
round dozen of months presented dead against you? If I could
work my will,'' said Scrooge indignantly, ``every idiot who
goes about with ``Merry Christmas'' on his lips, should be
boiled with his own pudding, and buried with a stake of holly
through his heart. He should!''
``Uncle!'' pleaded the nephew.
``Nephew!'' returned the uncle, sternly, ``keep
Christmas in your own way, and let me keep it in mine.''
``Keep it!'' repeated Scrooge's nephew. ``But you don't
keep it.''
``Let me leave it alone, then,'' said Scrooge. ``Much
good may it do you! Much good it has ever done you!''
``There are many things from which I might have derived
good, by which I have not profited, I dare say,'' returned
the nephew: ``Christmas among the rest. But I am sure I have
always thought of Christmas time, when it has come
round
-- apart from the veneration due to its sacred name and
origin, if anything belonging to it can be apart from that --
as a good time: a kind, forgiving, charitable, pleasant time:
the only time I know of, in the long calendar of the year,
when men and women seem by one consent to open their
shut-up hearts freely, and to think of people below them as
if they really were fellow-passengers to the grave, and not
another race of creatures bound on other journeys. And
therefore, uncle, though it has never put a scrap of gold or
silver in my pocket, I believe that it has done me good, and
will do me good; and I say, God bless it!''
The clerk in the tank involuntarily applauded. Becoming
immediately sensible of the impropriety, he poked the fire, and
extinguished the last frail spark for ever.
``Let me hear another sound from you,'' said
Scrooge,
`` and you'll keep your Christmas by losing your situation.
You're quite a powerful speaker, sir,'' he added, turning to
his nephew. ``I wonder you don't go into Parliament.''
``Don't be angry, uncle. Come! Dine with us
to-morrow.''
Scrooge said that he would see him -- yes, indeed he
did. He went the whole length of the expression, and said that
he would see him in that extremity first.
``But why?'' cried Scrooge's nephew. ``Why?''
``Why did you get married?'' said Scrooge.
``Because I fell in love.''
``Because you fell in love!'' growled Scrooge, as if that
were the only one thing in the world more ridiculous than a
merry Christmas.
``Good afternoon!''
``Nay, uncle, but you never came to see me before that
happened. Why give it as a reason for not coming now?''
``Good afternoon,'' said Scrooge.
``I want nothing from you; I ask nothing of you; why cannot
we be friends?''
``Good afternoon,'' said Scrooge.
``I am sorry, with all my heart, to find you so resolute.
We have never had any quarrel, to which I have been
a party. But I have made the trial in homage to Christmas, and
I'll keep my Christmas humour to the last. So A Merry
Christmas, uncle!''
``Good afternoon!'' said Scrooge.
``And A Happy New Year!''
``Good afternoon!'' said Scrooge.
His nephew left the room without an angry word,
notwithstanding. He stopped at the outer door to bestow the
greeting of the season on the clerk, who, cold as he was, was
warmer than Scrooge; for he returned them cordially.
``There's another fellow,'' muttered Scrooge; who
overheard him: ``my clerk, with fifteen shillings a week, and
a wife and family, talking about a merry Christmas. I'll
retire to Bedlam.''
This lunatic, in letting Scrooge's nephew out, had let two
other people in. They were portly gentlemen, pleasant to
behold, and now stood, with their hats off, in Scrooge's
office. They had books and papers in their hands, and bowed to
him.
``Scrooge and Marley's, I believe,'' said one of the ``Mr Marley has been dead these seven years,'' Scrooge
replied. ``He died seven years ago, this very night.''
``We have no doubt his liberality is well represented by
his surviving partner,'' said the gentleman, presenting his
credentials.
It certainly was; for they had been two kindred spirits. At
the ominous word ``liberality'', Scrooge frowned, and shook
his head, and handed the credentials back.
``At this festive season of the year, Mr Scrooge,'' said
the gentleman, taking up a pen, ``it is more than usually
desirable that we should make some slight provision for the
Poor and destitute, who suffer greatly at the present time.
Many thousands are in want of common necessaries; hundreds of
thousands are in want of common comforts, sir.''
``Are there no prisons?'' asked Scrooge.
``Plenty of prisons,'' said the gentleman, laying down
the pen again.
``And the Union workhouses?'' demanded Scrooge. ``Are
they still in operation?''
``They are. Still,'' returned the gentleman, `` I wish
I could say they were not.''
``The Treadmill and the Poor Law are in full vigour,
then?'' said Scrooge.
``Both very busy, sir.''
``Oh! I was afraid, from what you said at first, that
something had occurred to stop them in their useful course,''
said Scrooge. ``I'm very glad to hear it.''
``Under the impression that they scarcely furnish Christian
cheer of mind or body to the multitude,'' returned the
gentleman, ``a few of us are endeavouring to raise a fund to
buy the Poor some meat and drink, and means of warmth. We
choose this time, because it is a time, of all others, when
Want is keenly felt, and Abundance rejoices. What shall I put
you down for?''
``Nothing!'' Scrooge replied.
``You wish to be anonymous?''
``I wish to be left alone,'' said Scrooge. ``Since
you ask me what I wish, gentlemen, that is my answer. I
don't make merry myself at Christmas and I can't afford to make
idle people merry. I help to support the establishments I have
mentioned: they cost enough: and those who are badly off must
go there.''
``Many can't go there; and many would rather die.''
``If they would rather die,'' said Scrooge, ``they had
better do it, and decrease the surplus population. Besides
-- excuse me -- I don't know that.''
``But you might know it,'' observed the gentleman.
``It's not my business,'' Scrooge returned. ``It's
enough for a man to understand his own business, and not to
interfere with other people's. Mine occupies me constantly.
Good afternoon, gentlemen!''
Seeing clearly that it would be useless to pursue their
point, the gentlemen withdrew. Scrooge resumed his labours
with an improved opinion of himself, and in a more facetious
temper than was usual with him.
Meanwhile the fog and darkness thickened so, that people ran
about with flaring links, proffering their services to go
before horses in carriages, and conduct them on their way. The
ancient tower of a church, whose gruff old bell was always
peeping slily down at Scrooge out of a gothic window in the
wall, became invisible, and struck the hours and quarters in
the clouds, with tremulous vibrations afterwards as if its
teeth were chattering in its frozen head up there. The cold
became intense. In the main street, at the corner of the
court, some labourers were repairing the gas-pipes, and had
lighted a great fire in a brazier, round which a party of
ragged men and boys were gathered: warming their hands and
winking their eyes before the blaze in rapture. The water-plug
being left in solitude, its overflowings sullenly congealed,
and turned to misanthropic ice. The brightness of the shops
where holly sprigs and berries crackled in the lamp-heat of the
windows, made pale faces ruddy as they passed. Poulterers' and
grocers' trades became a splendid joke: a glorious pageant,
with which it was next to impossible to believe that
such dull principles as bargain and sale had anything to do.
The Lord Mayor, in the stronghold of the might Mansion House,
gave orders to his fifty cooks and butlers to keep Christmas as
a Lord Mayor's household should; and even the little tailor,
whom he had fined five shillings on the previous Monday for
being drunk an d bloodthirsty in the streets, stir red up
tomorrow's pudding in his garret, while his lean wife and the
baby sallied out to buy the beef.
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