Dealing with a newly given diagnosis of autism in your child leaves you in shock at first. Your son or daughter whom you have known and loved since birth now seems to be very different than what you had believed. Hopes and dreams you had for your child may seem to have vanished and you are finding yourself going through a grieving process for the child you thought you had and lost. This is a natural process, feeling anger, frustration, fear, betrayal, guilt, confusion and a host of other thoughts and emotions. Don't ignore your feelings but try to acknowledge them and work through them. As you become more adjusted to the fact that your child does have a disability you will then be able to focus more on what to do now. Every child with autism I know has improved when given the opportunity. Whether through various therapies, special programs, medication, behavior modification or a combination of these and other helps, every child can have success. Their success in life may now be different than what you once envisioned but all they need is your love, your support and your advocacy. You know your child, they are no different now than they were before you were given a diagnosis, you just have a name to put to all the misunderstood things. Be their voice, make sure they are being given all the tools they need to be happy and be all they can be. Federal Law requires school districts to provide whatever is necessary for your child to learn. (See my Books/Links page for the website containing this law).

Medication is something each parent has to look at for their child on an individual basis. No medication can cure autism, but several can help with symptoms. Deciding which medication to try, if you chose to, needs to be decided by you and your child's doctor. It is best to work with a doctor with experience in this field. Some meds called SSRIs work to help balance out the number of neurotransmitters running between the brain and the nervous system. Paxil, Luvox, Zoloft and Prozac are usually used for these. There are usually no serious side effects. Though used as antidepressants in people with depression, they seem to have the opposite effect in autistic children. It can help to calm them, help them be more focused on things outside themselves and decrease aggressive and stimming behaviors. I have had wonderful results for my son with Paxil for the last year and a half but have also talked to parents who said it did not work for them. There are other medications in use which do well for some children that SSRIs do not work for. These medicines have other side effects and require blood testing and monitoring to ensure there are no adverse reactions to the body. You know your child, recognize that nothing will make the autistic behaviors go away but use common sense and a trusted doctor's advice to decide how to best help alleviate the ones most detrimental to them and others around them.

Depending on the age of your child, try to find an appropriate placement in a school setting as soon as possible, whether in a Developmental Preschool, a Special Education setting or an Inclusion Program. Your school district should have Psychologists within the school district who coordinate a variety of testings to determine your childs needs and how to best address them. IF AT ALL POSSIBLE have a representative from your local PAVE organization attend the IEP meetings with you. They know the law and will help ensure that your child is given all that is necessary. Some school districts will try to do the least expensive thing instead of what is best for the child. At first your child will probably be placed in a developmental program. This should give them a lot of help in the communication area. Many schools have autism specific programs, others just have Special Education classes. Check with your district and find out what they have. If you don't feel it fits the needs of your child, speak with the District Superintendant and the Special Education Director. Share your concerns and try to work with them to fit a setting to your child. If they are higher functioning, that can be in an inclusion setting. My son is now in a regular 1st grade class with a full time para. She does not focus just on him, but rather is there for whenever he needs help. Though it was difficult for him at first, he has now settled in and is doing well. Academically he is right with the other children. Socially and behaviorally he still struggles but often has good days there too. Work with your child at home, keep constant communication with all teachers and staff who interact with them. Your child will bloom, maybe not the rose you were expecting but marigolds and dahlias are gorgeous flowers too. Give them every opportunity you can to feel success and to be happy with themselves.