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You know how it is when it comes to pets. We kids are always trying to convince our parents to let us have cool pets.

Of course, we make all of the same promises, don't we: I promise I'll feed him everyday! I promise I'll change his litter (or cage, or tank) everyday. Please, please, please… Pretty please!

Do we always do it? Well, we try. After all, we're just kids, right?

One year, we all wanted to get pets. Oh yeah, we means the Lizard Club. That's the boys-only club that I, Jared P. Kryer, started up a few years ago. Actually, I started the club with my best friend, Ricky Samson, who lives next door. We thought it would be a great idea after we heard that Sally Johnsen had started up a Tea Party Girls Group.

She said that no boys were allowed to join--as if we would want to go to some dumb tea party with a bunch of silly girls!

When my mom heard me saying that to Ricky Samson on the phone, she jumped out of her chair and said, "Now wait a minute! Tea parties are not dumb! I used to do that when I was a little girl."

Then she kissed me on the forehead and went back to her book.

"Aw mom!" I shouted. "This is supposed to be a private Lizard Club phone call!" But she didn't even hear me. She was reading some big, thick book.

The Lizard club is a great club. I'm the Big Chief President, since I started the club.

Dad said it was okay to start up a club just for boys, but he reminded me that we have to be nice to girls because "men have been mean to women for a long time" and "that's not nice," he said.

But we don't try to be mean or anything like that. We just like to do other things rather than tea parties. It just wouldn't be cool if we sat down and drank tea with a bunch of girls, I told him. He just laughed.

There are six members in the Lizard Club right now, and we all have titles so nobody feels left out. Ricky Samson is the Little Chief President, 'cause he helped me figure out how we were going to get the club going. Kenny Mitchner is the Master Message Man, even though we don't use a lot of secret messages, yet. And Josh Meyer is our Role Call Master.

There are two other members, besides. The official title for a member, though, is Member Extraordinaire. That's so they don't feel like they're not important. You have to think of that sort of stuff.

Our two Member Extraordinaires are Carl Redner and Mike Tammer. Or is that Members Extraordinaire? I'm still learning how to write, so I'll have to ask my mom. Anyway, we're all pretty good friends, and we live in the same neighborhood, so the club has been great so far.

Most of the time, we just talk about our favorite books or comics or TV shows--and stuff like that.

Anyway, I was telling you about the year we all wanted to get pets. It's down in the Official Lizard Club Files as The Family Pet Disaster. And boy, was it ever! A disaster, I mean! You should have seen the mess we had afterwards. I wouldn't want to do that again.

But I gotta tell you the story from the beginning. No peaking at the ending to find out what the disaster was!

It all started when Josh Meyer was going to be getting a puppy for his tenth birthday--a little Golden Retriever puppy with dark-colored paws. We had all seen him at the mall at Pet World just a couple of weeks ago. He was the happiest pup out of all of 'em, too. He never stopped barking and jumping all around and playing with the other puppies.

He was really feisty, my mom said. That means he's got lots of energy and he runs and jumps around a lot. I looked it up.

Well, Josh's mom fell in love with the little guy, and she and his dad thought it would make a great birthday present for him. They told him ahead of time, just to make sure it was okay with him and all, then he told us at the very next meeting of the Lizard Club. Luckily the meeting was just the next day, 'cause he couldn't wait to tell everyone.

Then, we all decided it would be a great idea to get pets of our own!

Lizard Club Meeting (Saturday afternoon)

"Wow!" we all shouted when he told us. "That's great!"

"I'd love to have a little dog of my own," said Kenny Mitchner, "but my parents said our house was too small for such a big pet."

"Then why don't you just get a pet fish or something small like that?" Josh suggested, smiling. "They're not too big."

"Hey, that's a great idea! I could maybe get a little Goldfish I can keep in a bowl in my room. Neat!"

Then Ricky said he didn't know what he'd get if his parents said yes. They were really cool, so he was sure to be able to get something, but he didn't know what.

"Me, I like cats," said Carl Redner, as he came into the clubhouse. Luckily he's a member. We never liked anyone else knowing what we talked about in the clubhouse. It's all secret stuff.

Oh, we have a clubhouse too! I forgot to tell you that! My dad and Josh's dad helped us all build it at the edge of the woods behind our house. We built it out of wood my dad got from his company. He does construction--building houses and stuff.

The clubhouse is big enough to fit all of us. We've got chairs and a table and everything! We even have a chalkboard to write on! The door locks inside too, just in case we're having a secret meeting and we don't want anyone to come in. Except for parents, of course, 'cause they'd just get mad at us if we didn't let them in.

Parents can be like that sometimes.

Well, Carl crossed his right fist to his left shoulder, giving the Lizard Club salute, and said, "Hail Lizard Club Brothers. Sorry I'm late. My mom said I had to take the trash out and make my bed before I could come over."

"That's okay, Carl," I said. "We all gotta do that sometimes. So, why do you prefer cats?"

"Cats are really friendly and they don't need lots of attention all the time. They can curl up with you when you watch TV, too."

"Goldfish don't need lots a'ttention," said Kenny. "I'm gonna see if my parents will let me get a Goldfish! Of course, a Goldfish won't curl up with you when you watch TV, will he!" he chuckled.

Kenny thought getting a fish was the neatest idea. His parents had never let him have any pets before. They just had to let him get a fish. They had to...

That's when Mike said something. He's usually a bit quiet, but he's a great kid.

"Hey, I've got an idea. We all want pets, right? So, why don't we all ask our parents? We could just say that Josh's parents are getting him a puppy, or something like that."

We all thought it was a great idea, 'cause we all wanted to get pets of our own. It'd be neat to bring all of our pets to the clubhouse, too.

Mike said he wanted to get a big ol' bullfrog. He knew that his sister wouldn't be happy about that, but he liked frogs.

"Hey, what about your birthday party, Josh?" asked Kenny. He loved parties--especially the cake and ice cream.

"Oh yeah, I almost forgot. I told my mom I didn't need any invitations or anything, 'cause I'm just inviting you guys." We all thought that was cool.

"Is it still tomorrow?" I asked.

"Oh yeah, it's tomorrow afternoon at two o'clock," Josh said. "We can have our special meeting, maybe, and then go to my house for the party."

"Sounds good to me!" Kenny shouted. He musta been thinking about the cake and ice cream still. He's such a big eater, he can eat lots of food without gettin' fat. I know that's not how it works with most kids, though. My dad said it was something wrong with his mita-bullism, or something like that. Actually, he corrected the word--it's supposed to be metabolism. That's how your body works. Kenny's just lucky enough to have a fast one, so he can usually eat more.

"Hey Rick," said Josh, "my mom's gonna call your mom tonight about the cake and ice cream, Okay?"

"Okay, I'll let her know."

Unfortunately, Ricky can't have the same cake and ice cream we can have. He told us he's allergic to calcium! That's the stuff you find in milk. So he's gotta have a special cake and ice cream. And even then, he said it's not always 100% calcium-free. Luckily, his mom did find some sort of stuff for him and I'm sure she already spoke to Josh's mom. We all know about Ricky, so we try and help him out, too.

After talking about getting pets, Role Call Master Josh called the meeting to end. He pounded his hammer on the table three times.

The meeting was over, and we all went home to see what our parents had to say about it. . .

When I go home, I found my mother reading again. She liked to read all the time. My dad liked to read, too, but he preferred the newspaper. He usually watched a lot of TV, too.

But dad wasn't there. He musta been over to Rick's house talking with his dad about the yards, planting and building and stuff, like he always does. The Samsons live right next door to us, in a brownish-colored house with a big porch all around it.

Our house is red. Brick, actually. I like it that way. It looks really nice, compared to some houses. Like, Marie's parents painted their house down on the corner a really weird blue color. She said she didn't like it, and she didn't know why they painted it that color. My room is painted blue, but it's a great blue, and I've got lots of posters up on the walls. You know, posters of cool actors and stuff.

Well, I decided to ask my mom right away about getting a pet--to get it over with.

Then I thought maybe I should ask my dad first, but he wasn't there. And I really wanted to do it right away.

"Mom? Can... can I get some kind of pet? Josh's parents are getting him a puppy for his birthday, and I'd really, really like to get a pet, too." She looked up from her book, 'cause she heard me this time, instead of being lost in her story like she usually was.

"What kind of pet do you think you'd like, sweetie?" she asked. She actually asked me, serious-like!

"I don't know," I said. I didn't really know what to ask for. I'd never really thought about it before. I just wanted to see if she'd say yes or no.

"Well, why don't you think about it some more, and I'll have a talk with your dad, okay?" She brushed the hair across my forehead like she always did when she wanted to see my eyes. I always brushed it down in front of them, like I was hiding. After I said okay, my mom went back to reading.

I went to my room, jumped onto the bed, and tried to figure out what kind of pet to get.

Dogs are great, 'cause you can play ball with them and wrestle with them.

But cats are nice, too. They usually loved to be held, or to sit in your lap while you watched TV. They also like to curl up on top of you while you're fast sleep.

Then I thought maybe I should start with something small, like a Goldfish, like Kenny wanted to get.

That night, while I was sleeping, it came to me. I was dreaming of the club, and a little lizard just appeared out of nowhere and said hello to me.

He was just a baby I think, because he wasn't very big. Just the same, I decided that I wanted to get a lizard for a pet.

Yeah, that'd be great! A lizard!

Special Lizard Club Meeting (Sunday afternoon)

The Lizard Club doesn't usually meet on Sundays, but this was a special meeting so we could find out what everybody's parents said about getting pets.

Josh was the first to arrive. I wished him a Happy Birthday, even though his birthday was actually on Monday. His parents wanted to do the party during the weekend, so we wouldn't have to worry about school getting in the way.

I already knew--like the rest of the guys--that Josh was getting a puppy. So I wasn't able to find out anything new before they showed up. But boy, Josh couldn't wait to find out what we were getting!

My parents said it would be okay if I got some kind of small pet, but I'd have to take "really good care of whatever I got, or else I wouldn't be able to keep it," my mom said.

You know how moms can be.

I think my dad really wants to get a dog some day, but I heard mom say that I needed to learn some responsibility first, with a small pet.

That was fine with me. I told them that, and they said that I was being very mature. Mature means acting a bit like a grown up--I looked that up after they said that.

Well, like I said, I had already decided to get a lizard, since the club is called the Lizard Club.

Josh and I had just set the clubhouse up for the meeting when Carl, Kenny, Mike and Ricky came running in. They were all out of breath. They wished Josh a Happy Birthday too, then everyone starting shouting about pets.

All I could hear was everyone asking, 'Well, what'd your parents say, huh? What're you getting?' and stuff like that.

Then Josh banged his Role Call Hammer on the table to get everyone to quiet down. After all, he was the Role Call Master. We'd decided it was a good idea to follow all of the club rules for the meetings, even if it were a special meeting, and even if we were dying to know what everyone else's parents said!

"Order in the clubhouse!" shouted Josh. Everyone got all quiet.

"This special meeting of the Lizard Club, on Sunday afternoon, is now started." Then Josh hit the table one more time.

He looked around to make sure that we were all there, then wrote it in his Role Book. He was good at starting the meeting off the real official way. That's why I chose him as Role Call Master.

Then it was my turn.

"As Big Chief President of the Lizard Club, I second that this meeting is started. Thank you Role Call Master Josh." Josh gave the Lizard Club salute and sat down in his chair.

Kenny stood up and gave the salute, and we knew he wanted to say something. We never raise our hands if we want to talk. That's what you do in school, but we have our own special rules in the clubhouse.

"Kenny Mitchner's got the Talking Turn, now," I said.

"Fellow Lizard Club Member Extraordinaires. I think we should go around the room and each of us can tell what happened when we talked with our parents yesterday. Then we wouldn't all be yellin' at the same time." Then Kenny gave the salute again and sat back down.

Everybody agreed with Kenny.

"Good idea, Kenny," I said. "Who wants to go first?"

Kenny pointed at me and said that I should be the first to talk, since I'm the Big Chief President. Everyone else thought that was a good idea, too. So, I stood up and told everyone what my folks said about starting off with a small animal and stuff.

"You'll never guess what pet I'm gonna get?" I said, making them wait a little longer.

Dad says that's suspense, like when you watch a scary movie and you keep thinkin' something scary's gonna happen, so you get even more scared, even though nothing happens yet.

"My idea's really neat." I said. "Since I started the Lizard Club and all, I decided to get a lizard!"

"No way!?!?" shouted Carl, Ricky, Josh and Kenny. Mike just smiled, 'cause he was usually the quiet one.

"That's cool!" yelled Kenny. His eyes were bulging out of his head, he was so surprised!

"So, that's what I'm gonna get," I said. "Hopefully this week." I was smiling, 'cause I was really glad I chose a lizard.

"Me too," added Kenny, "I mean, I think I'm gonna get my pet this week, too!"

"Why don't you go next, Kenny," I said, "then we'll go around the room in a circle."

"Well, you guys already know probably. I'm definitely gonna get a Goldfish! Neat, huh?"

"That's great, Kenny," said Josh. "I figured your mom and dad would let you get somethin' small like that, at least."

"Yeah, they've got some nice ones at the fish store over near the Pizza Palace. Okay, now you Mike," said Kenny, turning to Mike.

"My folks said yes, but I didn't know what I wanted for a pet--just like you, Jay." (Mike sometimes called me Jay, as in the letter J. I didn't mind it, though. My favorite aunt--Aunt Jenny--always called me Jay.

"I thought about it all night long," said Mike, "and finally, I thought I'd start small, too. So I'm gettin' a bullfrog."

Then the guys started going ribbit, ribbit, and we almost couldn't stop laughing. Mike laughed a little, then smiled. He was so shy.

"What made you think of a bullfrog," asked Ricky.

"I saw it on TV last night. This kid had a bullfrog he kept out in his garage. It was his best friend, but his parents wouldn't let him keep it in the house, and I felt bad for that kid and his frog. So, I'm gonna get a bullfrog and keep it in my room."

"That's good--he'll be warmer and safer inside," said Kenny. He was always looking out for animals.

"Plus, I know that'll keep my big sister Sara out of my room!" Mike added, and he started laughing.

"That's a great idea!" We all laughed with him.

Then it was Rick's turn.

"I thought I'd get some kind of bird, but my mom says they're messy. So then I thought a mouse would be a neat pet. They're small and pretty easy to take care of. But I still don't know yet. My mom doesn't like mice."

"Well, you can tell us at the next meeting," I said. "What about you Carl?"

It was Carl's turn last.

"You remember what I said yesterday about liking cats?" he said. "Well, my mom told me I can get a cat, and my dad said it was okay with him, so I'm gonna get a little kitten. There's one at the shelter with patches of black and brown. I'm gonna call him Patchy."

"But what if he's not there when you go to get him," Kenny asked. He was worried that Carl might have to get something else.

"Oh, that won't happen. My dad called 'em up and asked them to hold him for me."

"Great," I said. "Why don't we have another meeting next weekend, and maybe we'll all have our pets by then. Role Call Master Josh, I think we can end this special meeting of the Lizard Club," I said real official-like. "Does anybody else have anything to say before we go to Josh's?"

Nobody had any more club business, seein' it was Sunday, so Josh pounded his hammer three times and the meeting was over.

We were all ready to go over to Josh's for his birthday party!

We couldn't get to Josh's house fast enough! We had to stop inside my house to get the presents. We left 'em there, so nothing would happen to them.

Mrs. Meyer was at the door when we got to Josh's house. She was really a nice lady, I thought, but Josh said, "You should try living with her sometime."

I just laughed. I think all kids think other parents are more cool than their parents. But I got nice parents, too. I'll keep 'em a while.

As usual, Kenny went right for the chips and pretzels! He loved to eat, like I told you. Kenny's mom is from Germany, and she married Mr. Mitchner and came to live here. Mr. Mitchner works for some big company in the city.

Mrs. Mitchner makes cakes and pastries at the bakery a few blocks away from our neighborhood. They're really good, too.

But I don't think his mom lets him eat lots of junk food, normally. So that's probably why he loves to snack, maybe.

Well, even though his mom's German, Kenny doesn't have a German name or anything. His parents wanted to name him after his grandfather, who he didn't even know. Kenny's little sister's name is Isabelle and his big brother's name is Tomas. That's Thomas without the h. It could be the German spelling or something.

Anyway, Josh's mom started handing out punch and told us to help ourselves to some snacks while she finished getting the table ready. I couldn't believe it. We were going to have pizza and everything! The chips and stuff she bought were really good. I guess we worked up quite an appetite at our special Sunday Lizard Club meeting.

"Hey, these are great snacks!" said Kenny. "I was starving."

"You're always starvin,' Kenny!" shouted Ricky, and we all started laughing. Even Kenny.

"Yeah, I am, ain't I?" he said. "Must be the great food, Mrs. Meyer!"

Josh's mom smiled at us, then said she had to get the pizza ready. We all sat at the table, with Josh at the head of the table, of course. After all, he was the Birthday Boy!

There were two pizzas with just plain cheese and two others with pepperoni. HUMONGOUS PIZZAS! I liked both, so I had a slice of each. Ricky was able to eat just one piece, 'cause he said it didn't always give him too many problems. He wouldn't be able to eat any more than that. Otherwise, he'd break out in a terrible rash. One slice would be scary enough for me, too!

Then, after we finished eating, the BIG moment came. Josh's dad said he had to get something from the garage.

Hmm. . .

We all knew that Josh's dad went to fetch something furry!

Josh's eyes got real big when Mr. Meyer came back holding the little Golden Retriever puppy.

"Oh boy!" he shouted, jumping up and running over to his dad. We were all excited, too, even though it wasn't a present for any of us. Josh's new puppy was cool. He was just a little thing, but real feisty!

Just as soon as Mr. Meyer put Scout in Josh's arms, the little guy starting licking him all over his face. He was really cute. I could tell Josh was happy. Scout's wet tongue was slurping all over his face, and Josh couldn't stop laughing. It was funny.

After that, we had cake and ice cream and we all tried to sing Happy Birthday to Josh. But you know how that sounds! I don't think anybody can sing Happy Birthday without it sounding a little weird. Nobody cares at a birthday party, though! There's too much fun!

Luckily the ice cream was chocolate. Chocolate's my favorite flavor. Of course, any ice cream woulda been good, but I'm really glad it was chocolate.

Kenny didn't care. He loved it all. The cake was a yellow cake--vanilla, I think. With some kind of fudge frosting.

Mrs. Meyer brought out a big, special cupcake-type thing and ice cream for Ricky.

Josh put Scout on the chair next to him and gave him a little plain cake. His mom told him that puppies can't have chocolate, 'cause it'll make them sick, so Josh was real careful.

You could tell he was really happy to have a new puppy. The rest of the Lizard Club was thinking how great it would be to have pets of their own.

We just couldn't wait. . .