The words snapped off his tongue
Stinging like the crack of a whip upon my back
With each blow I struck back
I became heartsick with hate, anger, and bitterness
In my hurt I returned that hurt, now I feel shame
I struggle with this hurt and shame
I want to return it, send it back
I want to find something to displace it
To do something to ease the pain
Where can I take this hurt, this anger, bitterness, shame
What am I to do?
"Take up your cross and follow me"
With every crack of the whip and every blow upon his face
With every insult spoken and every injury sent his way
He bore the hurt and died the shame of the cross,
yet God raised Him to life again
"Thou will keep in perfect peace whose mind is stayed upon thee
because he trusts in Him"
We don't have the strength in ourselves
to bare such hurt the way we ought to
We don't know how to carry our own cross
We must spend our strength and
come to the place where we weep bitterly
Pride will take you to your limit of your strength,
but faith will carry you beyond
The cock crowed and upon hearing it Peter realized
he had done as the Lord had foretold
He had denied the Lord three times and
then Peter wept bitterly in his shame
You know you are loved when you hurt someone deeply
and they still desire the best for you
You know you love someone when they can hurt you deeply
and you still desire the best for them
Perhaps you have to see that you return hurt for hurt
Perhaps you need to find how you seek momentary relief from the pain
Perhaps you have to see that your wrong actions are driven by hurt
Perhaps you have to have this hurt get all the way down
into your heart to break it
Sometimes our shame must become utterly shameful before we will weep
In our shame He loves us and bares our hurt
Our heart breaks and we weep bitterly in our shame
Then somehow He shows us we are loved and He mends our heart
The sacrifice of God is a broken heart and a contrite spirit
He comes to mend the brokenhearted
Whatever your trial today, whatever hurt you have
God knows and will lead you
"Search me O Lord and know my heart
Try me and know my anxious thoughts
See if there be any harmful way in me
Lead me in the way everlasting"
He has taken you to your hurt, your harmful way and your shame
Your heart is broken
In that moment you feel the distance between you and Him
A great divide that you can not span and so you weep bitterly
Then He closes the distance and mends your broken heart
You have taken up your cross
He has risen you to life
![[pulsating cross]](astar2.gif)
