Del's Site Presents: What Would Happen to Harry Potter™ in the Real World

<body topmargin=0 leftmargin=0 marginheight=0 marginwidth=0> <table cellpadding=0 cellspacing=0 border=0><tr> <td valign="top" colspan=2 height=22 BGCOLOR="#FFFFFF" TEXT="#080000" bgproperties="fixed" background="03f000d2egerdp.gif"> <div> </div> </td> </tr><tr> <td valign="top" width=145 BGCOLOR="#333399" TEXT="#080000" background="03ea2c00erkjzj.gif"> <div> I think I'm the only one who would bother thinking about this....</div> <div> <A HREF="id48.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Welcome!"><U>Welcome!</U></A></div> </td> <td valign="top" height=458 BGCOLOR="#FFFFFF" TEXT="#080000"> <div> <FONT SIZE="5" COLOR="#336600" FACE="Tempus Sans ITC" >Alohomora!</FONT><FONT SIZE="1" COLOR="#663399" FACE="Times New Roman" >    </FONT> |    <B> </B><FONT SIZE="2" COLOR="#0000BF" FACE="Papyrus" ><A HREF="index.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Alohomora!"><U>home</U></A></FONT></div> <div> Del's Site Presents: What Would Happen to Harry Potter™ in the Real World   |   <A HREF="id39.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="How You Know Youre Obsessed With Harry P"><U>How You Know You're Obsessed With Harry Potter</U></A>   |   <A HREF="id53.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Unanswerable Harry Potter Questions"><U>Unanswerable Harry Potter Questions</U></A>   |   <A HREF="id67.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="404 Ways to Annoy Snape"><U>404 Ways to Annoy Snape</U></A></div> <div> <IMG SRC="04007040.gif" border=0 width="263" height="4" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></div> <div> <B>Del's Site Presents: What Would Happen to Harry Potter™ in the Real World</B></div> <div> <A HREF="index.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Alohomora!"><U><U>Alohomora!</U></U></A></div> <div> It was very late one night when I was struck with a peculiar thought: merchandising is rampant.  How would you react if your face was plastered on signs five feet high, or if your name was on a pair of socks?   Wouldn't it also be kind of strange if you were a trademark?  Can you just imagine the conversations.........."Hello, Hagrid™."  "Why, hi there, Harry™!"  Doesn't this seem a bit odd?  I thought I'd write a little story about it, fairy tale style.  ::shrugs::  It's not done obviously. It might not tally up exactly, I'm not even sure if there are Warner Bros. Stores in England..........</div> <bR> <div>  Once upon a time, there was a house-elf named Dobby.  He appeared suddenly one morning in Gryffindor Tower, much to the astonishment of Ron Weasley, Harry Potter, and the other boys living there.</div> <div>  "Dobby has a magical quest, Harry Potter, sir," Dobby told Harry.  "Dobby is going to take you to the real world."</div> <div>  Harry was a bit puzzled by this.  "Are you implying that this isn't the real world?"</div> <div>  Dobby nodded fervently.  "Yes, sir.  Dobby has been sent by his mistress, Ms. J.K. Rowling, to show you what the real world is like, sir."</div> <div>  Harry looked uncertainly at Ron.  "Shall we go?"</div> <div>  Ron shrugged.  "Okay, maybe we'll miss a bit of school."</div> <div>  Dobby took both their hands in his, and a hole in midair opened.  "This is a vortex, sir.  Follow Dobby."</div> <div>  They did, and stepped into a world that looked much the same as the one they had stepped out of.  They were in London, or so it appeared.</div> <div>  "Er, Dobby, this looks exactly like where we just came from," Ron put in.</div> <div>  "Oh, no, Wheezy, sir.  It is not, we has only just begun."  The two boys followed the psychotic house-elf down the street, amidst many whispers from passers-by.  At first Harry thought they might be discussing Dobby, who was, after all, strange in his own right, but he caught snatches of their conversations.</div> <div>  "Harry Potter.........Ron......Dobby....."  They were Muggles even!</div> <div>  Dobby stopped abruptly in front of a book shop.  "Take a look, sirs."</div> <div>  Harry and Ron both gazed openmouthed at the huge display in the bookshop window, which read, "Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone: Year One at Hogwarts."  They walked into the shop, too amazed to say anything.  Ron picked up a book, titled <I>Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban, </I>and flipped through the book, pausing on various pages and making little gasps of incredulity.</div> <div>  "Harry, they've got all of it written here!  And look, coffee mugs!  Ugh, they painted me funny.......and what's this?  Bookmarks, Harry, we're on bookmarks!"</div> <div>  Harry gulped.  "Ron, shush, the customers are staring at us......."</div> <div>  "Look, we're trademarks, too!  Whoa, look at this awful imitation wand, Muggles haven't got a clue about-"</div> <div>  "Ron!"  Harry interrupted, pointing out the window into the street.  "Look....." he whispered.</div> <div>  Ron turned to see a bus go by with a promotional Harry Potter movie poster plastered on its side.  </div> <div>  "We're a movie too?" squeaked Ron, hardly able to contain his glee.</div> <div>  "I don't know if that's a good thing, there could be things about us in these books that no one's ever supposed to know........."</div> <div>  "Oh, nonsense," answered Ron, glancing out at Dobby, who was waiting just outside the door.</div> <div>  Harry picked up <I>Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire</I>.  "This one's long........" He flipped through it, stopping on a page which featured Ron going speechless at the sight of Fleur Delacour.  He handed it over for Ron to read.</div> <div>  Ron read it, then made a strange gurgling noise.  "That's awful!"</div> <div>  Dobby poked his head in the store.  "Are you through, sirs?"</div> <div>  Harry and Ron looked at each other nervously, then left the store in a hurry.</div> <div>  As they began walking down the busy sidewalk again, Dobby stopped very suddenly, causing Harry to walk into him, and Ron to walk into Harry.</div> <div>  "What is it Dobby?" asked Ron.</div> <div>  "Bad Dobby, bad, bad, Dobby," he muttered, beating himself about the ears.</div> <div>  "Dobby, stop it!" said Harry, grabbing his long hands and holding them away from his head.</div> <div>  "Dobby is sorry, Harry Potter, sir, Dobby has forgotten something."  And with a loud CRACK, Hermione appeared in front of them, book in hand.</div> <div>  "Wh-where am I?  Dobby, what are we doing here?  I've got to study, there's no time to-"  Hermione silenced abruptly, gaping at another bus going by.</div> <div>  "Welcome to the real world," Harry told her bitterly.</div> <div>  "We is not done, come," Dobby said, dragging the three of them down the street.</div> <div>  After awhile, they came upon a store bearing the sign "Warner Bros."</div> <div>  "Dobby is going to wait here," Dobby told them, ushering the three friends into the shop.</div> <div>  As soon as they stepped through the door, the level of noise in the store went up sharply.  They stood in shock for a moment, but it was Hermione who spoke first-if it could be called speaking.</div> <div>  "Wh...we're....everywhere, why......school supplies and T-shirts?" she spluttered.</div> <div>  Ron simply stared and walked slowly through the store, tripping into a display case of Harry Potter watches and sending five or six of them to the floor.  Harry, completely bewildered, reflexively flattened his bangs (fringe again).</div> <div>  "Harry Potter!" shouted a small voice, and Harry had the wind knocked out of him as a tiny girl flew at him, hugging him.</div> <div>  "Er.....hello," he gasped as she let go and ran back to her mother.</div> <div>  Ron was still quite speechless as he walked past a stand of Harry Potter picture books.  He spotted the movie posters and went quite curiously over to them. </div> <div>  Hermione recovered herself and began examining the merchandise.  She picked up what seemed like a book, looking curiously.  When she opened it, it was hollow and had various places for storing things.  "A fake book!" she said in indignation.</div> <div>  Harry gathered up the courage to walk further than the doorway, and started to look at the watches Ron had tripped into.  He couldn't suppress a snicker at a horribly furry white watch with a distorted Hedwig on it.</div> <div>  "Doesn't look like Hedwig at all," said Hermione behind him.  "Harry....," she began.  "I'm wondering.........does this mean that we are fictional characters?"</div> <div>  He shrugged.  "I'm starting to believe just about anything," he said, stepping over a stray Harry Potter backpack lying in the aisle.  "It's not enough for me to be famous at Hogwarts, I've got to be famous here," Harry continued, shaking his head in disgust.  He wasn't sure whether to laugh or be upset, as he looked up and saw Ron at the cash register.  He walked quickly over to him, Hermione in his wake.</div> <div>  "Ron, what d'you think you're doing?" asked Hermione, her voice rising shrilly.</div> <div>  He grinned.  "I'm buying a Ron poster."</div> <div>  She gave an exasperated sigh.  "What for?  You see yourself in the mirror every day."</div> <div>  Ron scowled.  "I'm bringing it back so everyone will believe me."</div> <div>  Hermione said something under her breath, but Ron didn't hear it.</div> <div>  Harry sensed the tension, so tactfully said, "Ron, you <I>do</I> know the picture doesn't move, right?"</div> <div>  Ron's face fell.  "I forgot.  I think I'll buy it anyway," he continued, stepping up to the register because he was next in line.</div> <div>  The cashier brightened when she saw the three of them standing in front of her.  "Wow, you look just like the characters from Harry Potter!" she said, scanning the poster.</div> <div>  "Er........thanks," answered Harry, as Hermione stifled a laugh.</div> <div>  Harry was eager to vacate the shop, yet Hermione insisted she only wanted to stay because it was fascinating, while Ron happily bagged his poster.  Harry pulled the two of them out the door to the waiting house-elf.</div> <div>  </div> <div>  Harry sighed, walking behind Ron and Hermione, who were bickering- again.</div> <div>  "Ron, these people are marketing our lives, are you sure you want to help them out?" she asked, sounding worried.</div> <div>  "The world loves us Hermione!  Get a clue!" he answered, but Harry was with Hermione on this one.</div> <div>  "She's right," he said, staring at a kid in a Harry Potter shirt as he walked by.  "You don't want to take a bit of fame too far."</div> <div>  "You should talk," Ron answered.  "You're still the biggest name, the title character of course."</div> <div>  "Ron, listen, I don't-"  His sentence was interrupted as the four of them, not paying attention, walked right into a Muggle boy and his father.  (What are the odds?)</div> <div>  "Sorry," said Harry, standing and dusting himself off.  The two Muggles did not answer, and when Harry looked up, he saw why.</div> <div>  It was all he could do to keep from screaming.  Standing right in front of him was a younger version of himself, minus the scar and the glasses.  The boy backed away slowly, a terrified look on his identical face.  His father led him speechlessly past the small group and away down the street.  Harry, Ron, and Hermione stared wordlessly after them.</div> <div>  As soon as they were out of earshot, Harry said, "Okay, Hermione, give me your Time Turner.  I won't be going through that again."</div> <div>  Hermione looked at him, her confusion plain.  "I haven't got one, I turned it in at the end of third year," she said in a small voice.</div> <div>  "Come on, we is wasting time.  We must go to America," Dobby piped up.  Harry jumped; he had almost forgotten about Dobby.  Dobby snapped his fingers, and another vortex appeared.  The three friends followed the elf inside, Harry commenting, "Why not?  I've been everywhere else today."</div> <div>  They stepped out of the portal onto a busy street.  The city they were in was not large, but not small, either.  Hermione gazed around, looking as though she wanted to take notes.</div> <div>  Dobby stopped them at a very big bookshop; or, rather, two blocks from a very big bookshop.  The reason for this was apparent: there was a huge line trailing from the doors.</div> <div>  "What's going on, Dobby?" Ron asked curiously.</div> <div>  "<I>Goblet of Fire </I>is being released in America.  These people is waiting to buy it."</div> <div>  Ron's and Harry's mouths both dropped open in awe.  Hermione, again, was the only one capable of speech.</div> <div>  "They're waiting in line........for <I>us? </I>Why?"</div> <div>  Harry shook his head and buried his face in his hands.  He really wanted to leave the real world.  (Can you blame him?)</div> <div>  Meanwhile, the queue was building behind them.  The chattering crowd grew noisier, looking in awe at the three friends and the elf.  Dobby was sure to draw attention.</div> <div>  A girl approached Dobby cautiously.  "Hey, I like your costume.  It's so real!" she said happily, tugging on his ears.</div> <div>  "Meaning no disrespect, miss, but it <I>is </I>real," answered Dobby, squirming away from her hands.</div> <div>  The girl suddenly looked up at Harry, Ron, and Hermione.  She stood there for a moment, looking sceptical.  Harry groaned and reluctantly moved his bangs (fringe?) so that the scar was perfectly visible.</div> <div>  The girl squealed with delight.  "Wow, great makeup job!"</div> <div>  Behind him, Ron snickered...........but his laughter would be cut short soon.....</div> <div>  "Hey Ron, Ron!" piped up a boy who had appeared next to the girl.  "You like Hermione, don't you, don't you?  You should've asked her to the Yule Ball!"</div> <div>  Ron went scarlet all the way to the tips of his ears, looking like a carrot on fire.  Hermione looked halfway between being stunned and laughing.  Harry stifled a chuckle.</div> <div>  "But Harry," continued the boy, "Forget Cho.  Go with Ginny, she likes you."</div> <div>  It was Harry's turn to go scarlet.  When did it end?</div> <div>  "Dobby, Dobby, <I>please</I> may we leave?" pleaded Harry, wringing his hands.</div> <div>  "Well, sir, it's not necessary that we go into the bookstore, but..."</div> <div>  "Excellent!" said Harry brightly.  "Then we can go home."</div> <div>  "Sorry, sir," answered Dobby, shaking his head sadly, "but we has one more place to go."</div> <div>  Harry let out a sigh, thinking privately that he'd rather endure double Potions on a Saturday.  Dobby dragged them off to a toy store about a block over.  He forced them inside, insisting that he was not allowed in.</div> <div>  "No, sir, Dobby musn't, Dobby can't," he spluttered.</div> <div>  The three friends looked around, and spotted a crowd of children standing around something.  An adult's voice issued from somewhere in the centre.</div> <div>  "What d'you suppose that is?" whispered Ron.  Harry shrugged, and Hermione began to walk toward the crowd.</div> <div>  "See how it makes a potion?  And you can eat it!"  The adult turned out to be a man pouring some weird liquids into a poor plastic imitation of a cauldron.  His statement was followed by <I>oooh</I>s and <I>ahhh</I>s from the children.  Boxes around him proclaimed, <I>Harry Potter: Professor Snape's Potions Class</I>.</div> <div>  Hermione looked disgusted.  "How ridiculous!" </div> <div>  Ron agreed for once.  "Thay actually make it look fun, even if it is... stupid."</div> <div>  Harry snickered, rather loudly.  The children all turned around to glare at him, and the man said, "Something wrong, young man?"</div> <div>  "Mmrf...no, no...," Harry shook his head and backed away.  Ron snorted.</div> <div>  "Let's go," Hermione muttered , pulling them both out the store.</div> <div>  Harry just walked along in a sort of daze.  "This is so...weird."</div> <bR> <bR> <div> <A HREF="id3.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Fan Additions"><U>Fan Additions</U></A>      <A HREF="id16.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Updates"><U>Updates</U></A>      <A HREF="id8.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Fanfiction by Lilia"><U>Fanfiction by *Lilia*</U></A></div> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> </td> </tr></table></body>