King Oinklet :Born To Be Ham
- By Karen D’cruz

Hello, I’m here to tell you a story. A story of a great warrior pig called….King Oinklet. A warrior so brave; so filled with morals and principles that he never fought in wars. Oh, no. King Oinklet fought only for one thing…..FOOD! I guess this verifies the age old phrase, "greedy pig".

But deep down inside (underneath all those layers of fat) is a really nice one year old piglet. A kind boy who never fails to snort at me in the morning, greeting me with his curly-wurly tail wagging away.

He came to live with us in a totally unexpected way. Up until 10 months ago, there was a pig farm near my house, located about 15 minutes walk away. It was the cleanest pig farm you had ever seen. There, all the pigs lived in harmony except for one rebel piglet…

At that time, he was 2 months old and very rebellious. He went around the pig farm scaring the sows out of their skin. Now, did you know that if you scare a pig, and if he gets a shock, he will die? It’s true. Pigs are sensitive creatures. They cannot handle massive shocks, scares and tricks. So the next time you see a pig, don’t scare it. You will only shorten it’s life span.

You can pretty much guess how many old sows that King scared to death. The farmer grew tired of him but he didn’t have the heart to send him to the slaughter house. So when I came along on my evening walk and stopped for a chat, the farmer told me his problem. I figured that a piglet would make a good pet. Inexpensive and simple creatures. Besides if Luke Perry from Beverly Hill 90210 could have a pig, I , Karen D’cruz from Seremban 70200, could have one too! By the way, that’s my postcode.

And that’s how King came to stay with us. I re-named him ‘King Oinklet’, Oinklet being the surname. I did this so that he would know his roots and always be proud to be a ……PIG! (unlike Babe, the movie pig who had an identity crisis).

Of course, my mother was pessimistic about a piglet living with us. "Will he be happy? What will he eat? Will he eat us?!" I put my mother’s fears to rest. Yes, he will be happy. He now sleeps in my room in a tub, complete with his pillow and blanket. As for his diet, I raised him a vegetarian. No egg, no meat, just good ol’ corn, wheat and cereal mixtures. He’s healthy, fat and fine. The only weird thing is taking him for walks. I still get a glimpse of amused neighbours peeping out to their window to see my pig going for an evening stroll.

He still keeps up with his naughty antics. The first batch of Christmas cookies that my Mom baked went missing without a trace. My Mom suspected my sister and me but we strongly denied the theft. It turned out that Oinklet stole the cookies. But being the kind and affectionate boy that he was, he did not savour them alone. Instead he shared them with our three dogs, Moo, Jupiter and Biscuit. He is really a sweet thing.

I still remember one cold and stormy night, when Oinky showed his family spirit. I t was raining heavily with thunder and lightning all across the black sky. Biscuit who slept alone outside was whining pitifully. She was afraid. I was awakened by her constant whimpering. Oinky was staring at me. he then got up and went to the back door. I opened it for him. The sweet Oinky went outside to console Biscuit and lay down next to her. And there he slept till the next morning.

Oinky has certainly lit up my life in many ways. A good many laughs and jokes did he contribute to my family. A gentle snort when I was feeling down, a little wag from his curly tail to greet me. All I can say is, "That pig is a gem."

Then again, I should have told you before that this story is only fictional and King Oinklet does not really exist. But if he did exist, he would be a gem of a piglet wouldn’t he?

Note from Sharon : We do not live next to a pig farm! My mother would jump out of her skin at the mere mention of having a pig in her house. And, oh yes, my Mom never bakes Christmas cookies, she always buys them. And most importantly, Jupiter would be the sweet boy in our house, not Oinklet, if he did exist.

Okay, seeing as we couldn't get a real pig, we have adopted one. Hereeee's King Oinklet!