Laughter is the best Medicine. We, as a people, have always been able to laugh at ourselves. It's been too dangerous to laugh at others.

Most if not all these jokes are everywhere on the Internet so it is difficult to know where they started. There is no intention to violate copyrights but if I do, its in good company. I've tried to give credit to my first source. Additionally, I've often edited the language to remove wording that annoyed me. Anything in italics are my comments.

The following was passed to Michelle via the Internet and then to me. I changed it slightly since anything else is out of character.

A man, out for a walk in the woods came across a bear. Frightened for his life, he ran as fast as he could to escape and hide in a cave. He was horrified to find that the bear followed him into the cave trapping him. He closed his eyes and recited "Sh'ma Yisrael" in anticipation of his final moments. When he is finished, he opens his eyes and is surprised to see the bear in front of him with his eyes closed - also praying.

The man thinks to himself "how lucky am I to be cornered by what must be the only Jewish bear!. We're mishpocheh...and I'm not Kosher. I'm saved!" He then listens more carefully to the bear's prayer: "...hamotzi lechem min haaretz."

The following was told by Rabbi Ackerman to illustrate something. I doubt I'll forget the joke.

Blame it on the seatbelt laws. A policeman stopped a car because the driver was not wearing a seatbelt. The man immediately fastened his seatbelt and told his wife to back-up what ever he says. When the officer approaches the car, the man indignantly claimed he was wearing the seat belt all along. "If you don't believe me, ask my wife!" The policeman turned to the woman in the passenger seat of the car and asks, "Lady, was he wearing a seatbelt when I stopped him?" "Officer," said the wife, "I learned never to argue with him when he's drinking!"

A pious man who had reached the age of 105 suddenly stopped going to synagogue. Alarmed by the old fellow's absence after so many years of faithful attendance the Rabbi went to see him. He found him in excellent health, so the Rabbi asked, "How come after all these years we don't see you at services anymore?" The old man looked around and lowered his voice. I'll tell you, Rabbi," he whispered. "When I got to be 90 I expected G-d to take me any day. But then I got to be 95, then 100, then 105. So I figured that G-d is very busy and must have forgotten about me ..... and I don't want to remind Him."

Mr. Shwatrz goes to meet his new son-in-law to be, Sol. He says to Sol (who is very religious), "So nu, tell me Sol my boy what do you do?

"But Sol, you are going to marry my daughter, how are you going to feed and house her?"

Mr. Shwartz goes home and Mrs. Shwartz, his wife, anxiously asks what Sol is like. "Well," says Mr. Shwartz, "he's a lovely boy, I only just met him and he already thinks I'm G-d."

I don't know whether the joke or the concept of getting 18 Jews to agree on anything is funnier.

The President of the congregation's board of directors went to visit the Rabbi, recovering from a mild heart-attack, to fulfill the mitzvah of visiting the sick.

Two bees met in a park. One told the other that he (if this was a reconstructionist joke, it could be she) was very hungry. The other bee suggested the first bee go across the park where a wedding was being held. "There will be plenty of good food there."

The other bee went to the wedding and he returned said, "Thank you. The food was delicious." The bee that stayed in the park asked the other what he had on his head. "A kippot. I didn't want them to think I was a WASP."

So it seems that these four rabbis had a series of theological arguments, and three were always in accord against the fourth. One day, the odd rabbi out, after the usual "3 to 1, majority rules" statement that signified that he had lost again, decided to appeal to a higher authority.

"Oh, G-d!" he cried. "I know in my heart that I am right and they are wrong! Please give me a sign to prove it to them!"

It was a beautiful, sunny day. As soon as the rabbi finished his prayer, a storm cloud moved across the sky above the four. It rumbled once and dissolved. "A sign from G-d! See, I'm right, I knew it!" But the other three disagreed, pointing out that storm clouds form on hot days.

So the rabbi prayed again: "Oh, G-d, I need a bigger sign to show that I am right and they are wrong. So please, G-d, a bigger sign!"

This time four storm clouds appeared, rushed toward each other to form one big cloud, and a bolt of lightning slammed into a tree on a nearby hill. "I told you I was right!" cried the rabbi, but his friends insisted that nothing had happened that could not be explained by natural causes.

The rabbi was getting ready to ask for a *very big* sign, but just as he said, "Oh G-d...," the sky turned pitch black, the earth shook, and a deep, booming voice intoned, "HEEEEEEEE'S RIIIIIIIGHT!"

The rabbi put his hands on his hips, turned to the other three, and said, "Well?"
"So," shrugged one of the other rabbis, "now it's 3 to 2."

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