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Provided by Laura S C
On March 2, Dr. Seuss' birthday, the National Education Association celebrated "Read Across America" by encouraging adults to read to children. Of course, Green Eggs and Ham is one the most popular Dr. Seuss books. And there's the dilemma. How can Jewish kids celebrate with Green Eggs and Ham?
So, in honor (and with apologies to the estate) of Dr. Seuss, Read Across America, Kids, and Kashrut, here's a new ending for the story. It starts on page 54...
Sam!
Will you never see?
They are not KOSHER,
So let me be!
I will not eat green eggs and ham.
I will not eat them Sam-I-am.
But I'll eat green eggs with a biscuit.
Or I will try them with some brisket.
I'll eat green eggs in a box.
If you serve them with some lox.
And those green eggs are worth a try
Scrambled up inside some matzoh brie!
And in a boat upon the river,
I'll eat green eggs with chopped liver!
So if you're a Jewish Dr. Seuss fan,
But troubled by green eggs and ham.
Let your friends in on the scoop:
Green eggs taste best with chicken soup!
Provided by Aunt Charolette
JEWISH MOTHERS
Q. What is a genius?
A. An average student with a Jewish Mother.
Q. What did the Jewish Mother bank teller say to her customer?
A. You never write, you never call, you only come to see me when you need money.
Q. What did the Jewish Mother ask her daughter when she told her she had an
affair?
A. Who catered it?
Q. What is the most common disease transmitted by Jewish Mothers?
A. Guilt
Q. What kind of cigarettes do Jewish Mothers smoke?
A. Gefiltered
Q. Why did the Jewish Mother want to be buried near Bloomingdale's?
A. So her daughter would visit twice a week
Q. Why was Moses' Jewish Mother so happy?
A. She not only had fun in bed, but she made a prophet!
Q. Why do Jewish Mothers make great parole officers?
A. They never let anyone finish a sentence..
From my sister
A kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they drew. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's artwork. As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was.
The girl replied, "I'm drawing G-d."
The teacher paused and said, "but no one knows what G-d looks like."
Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing the girl replied, "They will in a minute."
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Jerold H
Feinstein saftyrma@yahoo.com
