Jan's Fish page

Jan's Fish Tales

Here are a few Fish Puns for you:

How does Mama Salmon differentiate among her offspring?

**She arranges them roe by roe.

Who's the famous fish with the pointing arm on the recruiting poster?

**Uncle Salmon.

Ten fisherman had a great day's catch at a small lake. Who was the saddest fish that evening?

**The sole survivor.

A drunk decides to go ice fishing, so he gathers his gear and goes walking around until he finds a big patch of ice. He heads into the center of the ice and begins to saw a hole. All of a sudden, a loud booming voice comes out of the sky. "You will find no fish under the ice."

The drunk looks around, but sees no one. He starts sawing again. Once more, the voice speaks, "As I said before, there are no fish under that ice."

The drunk looks all around, high and low, but can't see a single soul. He picks up the saw and tries one more time to finish. Before he can start cutting, the loud voice interrupts. "I have warned you three times now. There are no fish!"

The drunk is now flustered and somewhat scared, so he asks the voice,"How do you know there are no fish? Are you God trying to warn me?

"No", the voice replied. "Who are you then?" asked the drunk.

"I am the manager of this hockey rink."

Couple more jokes for ya:

Mommy why can't I go swimming in the sea? Because there are sharks in the sea.

But Mommy, Daddy is swimming in the sea. That's different he is insured.

Don't swim in the sea, a shark just bit off my foot! which one? I don't know, all sharks look the same.

O.K. just one more joke!

There were two fisherman who liked to fish the same lake every day. They would buy a six pack of beer and put it in the boat and go out to fish. One day, they were not catching much, until one of them pulled up a bottle. In the bottle was a "Genie". The Genie said, "Thank goodness you pulled me up, you saved my life, for that I will give you one wish". The fisherman looked down and noticed that all the beer was gone. "I want this lake filled with beer" said the fisherman. "Thanks a lot" said the other one, "now we will have to pee in the boat".

Hope you have enjoyed some of my fish tales, and got a chuckle or two. My Dad and Sister where "Great Fisherman" and I think they would of really got a laugh out of these jokes. If you have any comments or good jokes you can mail HERE: